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NFT: Anbody have close family suffering from "the pill epidemic"

BillyBoy8384 : 4/17/2014 6:41 pm
If not and dont wish to talk about it , click out of the thread. Its a sensitive issue. i know it affects alot more people then you think

I live in Union County, my town borders Morris County as well. Anyway, everytime I catch up with a HS buddy or a friend I hear about more and more kids I know (and I know their families) getting hooked on oxycontin then moving to heroin. Some of these kids are the ones who come from great families and have been brought up as best as possible. Addiction sure doesn't discriminate.

My cousin lives in Ocean County and just came out to my Aunt and Uncle that he is addicted to opiates( pills, heroin) Basically any opiate to calm down his withdrawal. He says that cars are constantly running from Toms River up to Newark and bringing back dope and pills daily. I know the State Police just stepped into Newark and are going to try and lock down the gangs and what not. He told me its easier to find heroin then pot down there. Thats crazy

Anyway, he is going into a rehab, but I literally know of so many kids who are having to do this. HS coaches, insurance brokers, to Fire Squad guys I went to HS with or one of their brother or sisters. I live in a small town.

Ive seen it ruin some friends lives in less then a year. Why is this happening? Ive already had at least 5 kids I graduated with overdose and die the past 5 years. One was a dear friend.

And to think all these thugs making that money is sickening. Dishing out poison to make a living?

I know people will say its due to parenting, but that's not true for all. Many of these young adults come from the best. Great dads and mothers. Supportive brothers and sisters. They just cant stop

I hope our government can come out with a remedy for these physically addicting substances. Opiate users just use to function. They dont even get 'high' after they become addicted. My cousin told me that after he realized he had a problem that he only continued to use so he wouldn't have to lose his job and he did the dope just to function during the work day so he wouldnt suffer withdrawal effects in front of co-workers like sweating and shaking, to throwing up and having cold spells
My mother does some volunteer work in my area and the numbers just keep growing. And the medicines they have to combat it suck. Ive heard of some horror stories of kids trying to kick this crap. I signed up to start volunteering at a local rehab, strictly dealing with people looking to live in a clean house, halfway house - whatever you may call it after they complete their 30 day rehab and 7 day detox.

Its depressing honestly, nothing seems to be working. Now my Uncle who is the best guy, is heartbroken. He thought he had a wrap on his kid. I tried talking sense into him several times but once their hooked, talking is only that- talking. So he lost a good job working for the local town municipality.
More of me ranting, but where is the answer to this? Anyone else have a family member battling this crap? The numbers keep rising by the month. Especially the northeastern part of our country.
Cocaine and pot are being replaced by opiates. Starting with percocets and ending with a needle in their arm shooting heroin or snorting heroin. So terrible. If anyone has any advice Ive probably heard it, but you never know.

It boggles my mind knowing that you will end up in prison, rehab, or a morgue and yet sooo many kids are doing this. Ive got like 5 cousins who are entering HS over the next few years and their parents(my cousins) are so worried.

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I feel extremely lucky that I don't have the propensity to be an  
buford : 4/18/2014 6:30 am : link
addict, at least not to pain killers. I've had so many scripts for vicodin and flexaril and xanax but I rarely take them. They don't get me high, just do what they are supposed to do. In fact, vicodin makes me nauseous and I can't sleep on it. The only time I felt high from a drug was when I had dilaudid in the hospital. But maybe it was just the relief from the awful pain. I think some people have the genetics or whatever to get addicted very quickly. I do think doctors over prescribe medications. I've had a harder time getting a refill for my thyroid medication than for Xanax or vicodin.
I have  
ctc in ftmyers : 4/18/2014 7:51 am : link
a nephew who is in jail right now because he can't shake an addiction.

Had a high school friend die from heroin addiction. Was an all star baseball player. Died 3 years after high school. I use to drive him to Paramus to get his methadone treatments. He always said he would kick the shit out any of us who even thought of trying the stuff. He died in 73'.

If anyone remembers, good old Joe Friday had a episode on Dragnet on trying to close down a pill mill doctor in LA. How long ago was that?

Pain pill mills in Fla. are basically done. Feds cracked down on them a few years back.

Buford. I'm like you. I still have vicodin left from a prescription from 2 years ago. Every once and a while I'll take a half of pill at bedtime if I'm sore somewhere. They do nothing to me but take pain away. Never had a feeling of getting "high" or have an urge to "need" one. Guess we are lucky that way.

narcotics anonymous could be a very good place to start  
alligatorpie : 4/18/2014 8:35 am : link
. 12 step program like AA.
Jesus Joey......  
Robert : 4/18/2014 8:46 am : link
I'm sorry to hear that. I know how hard it is when you're trying to save someones life, and they have no interest in saving themselves. They have the party and you pick up the mess. It's a shame.
Joey's story mirrors my mother since ~1998  
Kyle : 4/18/2014 9:23 am : link
It's pretty terrible.
Shatterproof  
rusty shackleford : 4/18/2014 9:39 am : link
is an org I recently worked with, a new non-profit started by a father who lost his son to drugs. In the aftermath Gary, a successful businessman, wondered why there's no Autism Speaks national organization to combat this, to explore the science of how the brain works, to focus on prevention and families with younger children as much as recovery, to influence legislation.

http://www.shatterproof.org/

You can also hear him talk at the Clinton Foundation in 2013 where he tells his story and his son Brian's, when the organization was called Brian's Wish.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wGjtajI0IE

Sorry if there's a way to embed link. I'm not that savvy!

This is a huge issue for our communities. It's robbing many of us of our key investment, resource and love.

We need to have a national response to this that moves beyond the simple stigma of moral failing to a rational approach to "getting high" whether pills, powders or even alcohol.
RE: RE: I know so many kids from great families  
Randy in CT : 4/18/2014 9:50 am : link
In comment 11625927 napoleon said:
Quote:
In comment 11625764 Randy in CT said:


Quote:


with lots of money who don't fall into this, so this group of people are the least likely for me to feel sorry for. Good luck, I guess.





I guess you didn't feel bad for rich parents who had their kids killed by Adam Lanza. Some people are so retarded.
Let me be clear. First your example was stupid. Stupid.
I do feel bad when people's lives get messed up no matter what their financial status--tragedy is tragedy.

However, this isn't a no-solution scenario that so many people find themselves in--without the means to address this from a medical standpoint. Without the education to know what to do. This group of folks is in a scenario where the means, the ability and the knowledge are there to a) try to avoid the situation from starting (see it coming; communicating with the kids), as it is happening, be aware of it and address it by every means possible. To me it sounded a little like Robert Downey Jr started a thread telling us how rough it was being wealthy because it is so easy to fall into the trap of drugs when you have a ton of dough and are bored.

Best of luck to the thread starter--I didn't mean to be a dick.
Unfortunately yes. My brother...  
ImaGiant86 : 4/18/2014 10:04 am : link
..went from pills to heroin over a 4-5 year period. It took losing his fiancé, his daughter, his home, his job, sleeping in the streets of Camden, and an overdose that resulted in him waking up in the a emergency room before he finally committed himself to taking back control of his life. I'm proud to say that his one year clean mark is approaching in a few weeks. There are so many who have fallen victim to addiction and were not fortunate enough to get the second chance my brother has. He now has the chance to be a part of his daughter's life, something the addiction took from the both of them.
I've known too many people as well.  
drkenneth : 4/18/2014 10:05 am : link
Scary stuff. Heroin and pills are bad news.

Good luck to you.
Damn Joey.  
Curtis in VA : 4/18/2014 10:05 am : link
Thats brutal. I'm so sorry to hear that.
yup, knowledge is all it takes  
fkap : 4/18/2014 10:22 am : link
with a side dose of means and ability.

that's why you see so few smokers or fat people these days.

Keep digging Randy, you're almost there  
Headhunter : 4/18/2014 10:37 am : link
RE: yup, knowledge is all it takes  
Randy in CT : 4/18/2014 10:38 am : link
In comment 11626660 fkap said:
Quote:
with a side dose of means and ability.

that's why you see so few smokers or fat people these days.
So, your point is that people are helpless and there's nothing that can be done? Or that someone else is to blame for our own indiscretions?
more than a close family member  
Sonic Youth : 4/18/2014 10:40 am : link
I was an addict myself. I had a dialaudid drip after eye surgery, got OC to bring home, and struggled with addiction for a few years. It was miserable.
i understood where Randy was coming from  
GMANinDC : 4/18/2014 10:40 am : link
The OP made it seem like these were great kids with great parents and that they were victims of "thugs" from Newark who were supplying the pills. I read it the same way.

Being wealthy doesn't make you a great parent or immune to falling victim to drugs or alcohol..it actually makes them more accessible because you have the means to get them..
"thugs" from Newark who were supplying the pills  
Headhunter : 4/18/2014 10:46 am : link
They are thugs and they are destroying their own communities first and foremost
....  
BrettNYG10 : 4/18/2014 10:48 am : link
This thread's a depressing read, especially since it involves many I like and respect.
Brett  
GMANinDC : 4/18/2014 10:50 am : link
I feel the same way..
the part thats tough for family and friends  
Sonic Youth : 4/18/2014 10:58 am : link
Is the realisation that there is absolutely nothing you can do stop someone. They have to choose to stop. Addicts will always rationalize, and talking sense to them does nothing. I've gone to addiction therapists while high. Ive had heartfelt talks with friends and family and then went straight to get "blues". It took me wanting to truly stop to get clean, plus medical help and monitored medication. Happy to say ive been clean roughly 2 years now, with no desire to use anymore. The number of my friends u graduated with our around that went to rehab is staggering. Im only 25, and id say the number is in the 50s at least.
To the OP,  
Pork and Beans : 4/18/2014 10:58 am : link
Everyone in the kid's life needs to commit to stop enabling him at all. Giving him food, shelter anything while he is using is enabling him to continue the addiction. Let him know you will all be there to support him when he wants to get clean, but while he is using, he needs to be out of your lives. That is near impossible, but I think its the only way to stop it. All addicts have enablers, you can't live that life without them.
RE: i understood where Randy was coming from  
jcn56 : 4/18/2014 11:20 am : link
In comment 11626695 GMANinDC said:
Quote:
The OP made it seem like these were great kids with great parents and that they were victims of "thugs" from Newark who were supplying the pills. I read it the same way.

Being wealthy doesn't make you a great parent or immune to falling victim to drugs or alcohol..it actually makes them more accessible because you have the means to get them..


It amazes me how many people don't get this. Whenever I saw dealing going down in the projects, there was a common thread - expensive car that wasn't from around there. For some reason, people think living in a good neighborhood and having some money automatically insulates you from every evil the world has to offer.
We tend to differentiate between users...  
Dunedin81 : 4/18/2014 11:23 am : link
dealers who only deal to finance their own habits, and those who treat it as a long-term commercial venture, and we tend to heap the greatest scorn, and the most punishment, on the latter of the three.
jcn  
GMANinDC : 4/18/2014 11:43 am : link
I think people don't want to see it. It would fit better if the scorn and disgust were placed on those areas where people think drug using and dealing is normal.. Like Dune said, people tend to imply the most scorn and disgust toward the supposedely drug dealers..
The serious drug trafficking...  
Dunedin81 : 4/18/2014 11:48 am : link
often done by or at least in collaboration with gangs, frequently does kinda sorta fit that sort of caricature. But in most places the minor stuff, the street-level pushers, are at worst guys looking to move up but more often guys (or girls) trying to finance their own addictions. Culpable, sure, but maybe a few notches shy of evil.
All  
Joey in VA : 4/18/2014 12:08 pm : link
Thanks for the kind words. I debated opening up but I cannot really lay this out for my family, it's too much for them to deal with so I'm laying it out for my second family in hopes that others who have seen this or are going through know they are not alone and addiction is the problem, not the person or the people affected. It has been miserable at times, the good times were amazingly good, the bad just as far in the other direction.

To this day I still reach out to help her, I know it's not easy and I feel an obligation to assist. Marriage vows don't last and I'm not a church goer but I do firmly believe in the promise I made that day, it is that oath I took in front of my family and friends that keeps me helping her. It's the whole "What GOd has joined, no man may break" thing that really struck me and it still pushes me to help.
Joey  
GMenLTS : 4/18/2014 12:11 pm : link
got nothing to offer but well wishes, sir, same to everyone else on this thread going through or having been through these difficult circumstances.
Part of the blame falls on the DARE program  
AcesUp : 4/18/2014 12:14 pm : link
Our drug laws and how we educate. You can't villainize ALL drugs as bad and make things black and white. If you do that, a kid will reluctantly try weed then move on to pills then heroine. That's when marijuana becomes a gateway drug, somebody tries something "bad" and sees that its relatively harmless. Makes it much easier to move on to pills, which aren't villainized enough. I remember 10 years ago in college/high school, it was no big deal for somebody to start breaking down oxys/vicodin/percs at a party but a huge taboo for anybody to just break out coke. They need to be put in that class, because they're actually worse, there's a physical addiction that comes into play and it happens overnight. We need to stop telling kids "drugs are bad" and put more of an effort into educating them about the side effects and where these pills come from. If people truly understand what an opiate is, and how these pills are basically cousins of heroine, then they might be more reluctant to try them.
Joey  
GMANinDC : 4/18/2014 12:21 pm : link
my heartfelt sympathy to you and family and since I'm a church goer, I will pray for you, wife and family..Hope things get better as time goes by..
I hope for the best, Joey  
jcn56 : 4/18/2014 1:10 pm : link
and that she eventually finds her way. I remember you posting that she lost her father not too long ago, and it seems as if she's been to hell in that time period. Hopefully, she pulls it together, she's still a young woman and could salvage the rest of her life if she takes serious action now.
Randy  
fkap : 4/18/2014 4:48 pm : link
not even close.

addiction is not a class issue. it hits every possible combo of class, race, sex, out there. It doesn't care if you're intelligent, stupid, hopeless, or have it all going for you. rules of logic need not apply.

that doesn't mean the individual doesn't hold a great deal of responsibility in the matter. It does, however, mean you're a big dumbass if your view is that 'you can afford rehab, what's your fucking problem?'.
Sonic Youth....  
Robert : 4/18/2014 6:10 pm : link
Congrats. Getting clean is a very hard thing to do. I'm glad you made the choice to do that. I'm sure it's already paid off.
Joey  
MookGiants : 4/18/2014 6:17 pm : link
sorry to hear your story. Best of luck to you moving forward.
bizzare timing of this thread...  
Sonic Youth : 4/18/2014 8:25 pm : link
This kid I went to HS with died uesterday. heroin OD. Just found out. Posted on fb about hockey, dad finds him dead in living room w needle in his arm few hours later.
Thanks for sharing some stories and giving advice  
BillyBoy8384 : 4/19/2014 9:28 am : link
You guys are right, these 30 day rehabs are just another way to rip off people when their down. Ive known countless kids who are on their 4th 5th 6th rehab stint. I know of a guy who went to a 6 month rehab and now is a family man with a good job. Rehabs need to be longer then 30 days. Thats just a black-out period for the user. Meaning no drugs. The minute they get home they must want to back to using right away.

I wasnt saying anything in regards to rich/poor families. I noted several times that this addiction doesnt discriminate. The poor, the rich, whoever. Im just saying it seems kids from great families(and a great family doesnt have to be 'rich' with money) are falling prey to this.

Its time the government really tries to find an opiate cure bc i've seen too many pointless 30 day rehabs not work. It has for some though so kudos to them. It just seems more then a month is needed to recover.

Thanks to those who can relate or have noticed this disturbing trend and added some advice or information to the convo. Why some people have to be dicks about everything is beyond me. I told those that didnt want to post about to exit. At yet i get a message telling me that someone doesnt care about my situation bc the user was rich? ADDICTION DOESNT DISCRIMINATE. Rich, poor, blck, white, latino, The homeless to CEO's to NFL players are all in the same situation. Thanks for the input guys
BillyBoy thanks for opening the door to a great conversation.  
BlueLou : 4/19/2014 10:49 am : link
I think any parent anywhere should be concerned about this "epidemic."

Special thanks also to Joey for the intimate revelation and heart wrenching story, and Kudos! to Sonic Youth for fixing himself. There's a lot of wisdom and insight above.

One general comment to add. I think the root or underlining of addiction is a mental disorder, and I think it's a mistake to just try to separate the "addiction" itself from some form of mental illness that precedes or at least coexists with it. We as Americans have far, far too little sympathy and support systems for mental illness in our culture, and I think it's sad. This I have dealt with, a little brother who I've been out of touch with for years because he's mentally ill, and I fear potentially violent.

Joey, watch out that you have not been sucked into some kind of "hero" thing regarding your soon to be ex-wife. You gotta take care of yourself man. Like Sonic said, the path to recovery HAS TO start within. I am a bit afraid that all you do for your wife is enabling her. I hope you have had the opportunity to get some psychological therapy yourself while you have undergone this nightmare...

I hope that comes off ok, I am not a psych/shrink and have zero training in that area. But I have lived with mental illness in my immediate family. I think family members need counseling almost as much as the ill ones do.
Thanks to everybody  
Mike from SI : 4/19/2014 12:50 pm : link
for sharing. Addiction/substance abuse is awful, especially because it seems (from the outside) like the person is doing it to himself/herself.

I firmly believe that some people are more prone to addiction than others. I don't know if it's 100% biology, some combination of nature/nurture, or whatever, but it's scary.
This stuff is big business  
GMANinDC : 4/22/2014 11:35 am : link
It's not just gangs and poor people trying to get rich..
Pill Ring - ( New Window )
That reads like someone's MBA project...  
Dunedin81 : 4/22/2014 11:43 am : link
complete with motivated salesmanship. It seems like it was more recreational drugs than the opiates and such we were talking about here but the point is well-taken.
..  
Kyle : 4/22/2014 11:58 am : link
Quote:
And it’s that contrast that has shocked some in the Haverford community. “This is a huge story because of the prestige of the schools involved,” one of Brooks’s friends, who requested anonymity, told The Washington Post. “It’s not like this is the first time there has been a drug bust. It’s the uniqueness of the perpetrators.”


This paragraph alone makes me want them thrown in jail and forgotten. OH THE PRESTIGE.
On the bright side...  
Dunedin81 : 4/22/2014 12:17 pm : link
this experience will really bring those college essays to life.
It's really is a big business  
GMANinDC : 4/22/2014 1:18 pm : link
and the potential reach is staggering..Think of the many walks of people this can reach..
I'm  
NJGiantFan84 : 4/22/2014 1:52 pm : link
sorry to hear about your cousin. Rehab is definitely the first step, but there are many steps after that. Relapse is very common in all addictions, but especially so with opiate addiction. Make sure the addict gets involved in some sort of self help group after rehab. 30 or 90 days ain't fixing him. The support of recovering addicts with years of sobriety is most important, IMO. Don't let the 12 steps or "god" stuff dissuade him. There are plenty of groups that don't require either, just keep searching until you find the right one.

That being said, there are plenty of success stories out there, it just takes will and hard work. But it has been done and will continue to be done. So there is no reason your loved one can not be successful. But recovery is an ongoing process for life and must be the most important thing in the recovering addicts life above all else.

Family members need to get involved in al-anon or something similar. So much can be learned, especially about enabling behaviors that one wouldn't even know is hurting the recovery of the addict.

The stigma of bad parenting as the most common reason for addiction is not necessarily true. True, many addicts do come from rough family backrounds, but I know plenty who came from great families whose siblings were all successful but they fell into addiction for myriad reasons. Emotional and mental issues like depression, anxiety, poor self esteem etc. are at the helm.

Tell your Uncle not to be too hard on himself. The past is not important right now. Just look to the future and getting your cousin better one day at a time. An al-anon group or something similar can do wonders for your cousins family. I cannot reiterate enough how important it is to be educated on the topic of addiction through these groups. They have to learn they have no control over the situation and can only provide support, but it has to be the right kind of support.

Best of luck.
About three years ago  
Mike in Long Beach : 4/22/2014 2:11 pm : link
I suffered a fractured ankle and was prescribed a mild pain killer for about a month.

Even with this very common experience and without abusing the medicine at all, I was given a sneak peak at what people potentially deal with. I'd be lying if I said I didn't develop an inconsequentially small dependence.... dependence is the wrong word. I didn't need it. But there were cravings. It was a release to take the medicine even when I wasn't experiencing pain. It reminded me of when in college I found my cigarette intake increased to about a pack a week and there was suddenly this subtle desire within to have more.. and more. I recognized it and quit cigarettes soon after.

I didn't have an issue with the pills. My injury was very minor, my prescription ran out and I returned to my life, but it got me thinking about people who undergo things like serious back surgeries and how all of us are very susceptible to developing a dependency. I was very lucky to experience my mild cravings in the way I did. If I do suffer a more serious injury someday I'll be prepared... I wasn't prepared last time.
Damn, Joey...  
FatMan in Charlotte : 4/22/2014 2:22 pm : link
sorry to hear that bud. I remember your posts when you got married - how proud you were of your wife's photography and how much in love you seemed to be.

I hate when something like that is taken away by addiction. My sister went through something similar and two years later is still trying to cope with getting her life restarted and not being a crutch for her ex-husband. It really does tear the entire relationship down - both parties.

My thoughts are with you.
I'll second FatMan's sentiments  
Phil from WNY : 4/22/2014 2:38 pm : link
Really sorry to read that you're going through this ordeal as well as feeling empathy for your wife's troubles. Good things usually happen for guys who take the high road. Hoping you get an extra helping of happiness on the back-end of your troubles.
It's too  
NJGiantFan84 : 4/22/2014 3:53 pm : link
bad that people aren't more "open" about dealing with a loved ones addiction. Most people know somebody who suffers from either drug or alcohol addiction and it really helps people to understand that they are not alone, but due to the stigma attched to it, most people keep quiet about it and rely on family members who are just as confused as they are.

I'm not sure that this can ever be totally changed, but it certainly has improved, I imagine, from previous generations. I think the internet is really helpful in terms of openning up about your feelings on adiction message boards and remaining anonymous, but nothing is more powerful than a face to face discussion.
Powerful thread.  
WideRight : 4/23/2014 2:20 pm : link
Bump
A few years ago a doctor kicked me out of his primary care practice  
Spackler : 4/23/2014 5:39 pm : link
for trying to refill a pain pill prescription too quickly. I was in a lot of pain at the time because there was a large bone chip embedded in my sciatic nerve in my lower back from a previous botched surgery. You'd think as a doctor you would try to help somebody that you thought was an addict, but this a-hole just sent me a letter in the mail telling me I wasn't welcome back, not only at his office, but also at the 20 or so affiliated practices scattered throughout the South Carolina low country.
Spackler  
steve in ky : 4/23/2014 5:56 pm : link
Doctors are under tremendous scrutiny themselves. My doctor who not only has been my doctor for years but also know socially from our boys having played sports together throughout the years still is very guarded when prescribing me pain medication if I ask. He explained that he is now required to fill out a detailed form each time he does and really is not supposed to do so regularly for a patient but instead refer them to a pain clinic.

If the interpreted your actions as tying to game the system in any way they likely took those steps to protect their practice from unwarranted scrutiny.
I am a supervisor for  
JerryNYG : 4/23/2014 6:01 pm : link
foster care caseworkers at one of the Social Services districts in New York State. In my line of work I have seen some crazy stuff when it comes to addiction. My perception is that nowadays in the communities that I work in most people who a few years ago were popping vicodins, percocets, etc. have moved on to heroin or at least to more serious pharamceuticals like fentanyl, oxy, etc. There is cheap and plentiful heroin in even the most rural areas of the state.

What I am absolutely certain of is that 28 day rehab is a joke and a waste of time. The only way people get clean is a sincere desire and a long term lifestyle change including severing ties with former drug buddies, sometimes even relocating.

All I can say to the people sharing stories about themselves or loved ones is you have my best wishes.
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