Going through a stressful time at work right now, and I am finding it very hard to relax. I have a continuous tightness in my chest that I can't kick (no pain), and a general feeling of extreme angst.
Yes, I know about happy endings and blastings in the butt - thanks - but any serious answers would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Good luck.
A change of job is worth considering too.
I'm no doctor, but I do know at least 4 people on a mild anti-anxiety medication regimen with successful results, including a close relative.
Yoga and meditation can help as well, but require considerable discipline that can be hard to achieve when one is anxious to begin with. .
I also usually rub one out on my own 3 times a day whether I need it or not. Definitely keeps me centered.
Exercise
Maybe not in that order, but all 3 can help!
But when things are good, puff puff pass.
Try some out and find the one that works best for you.
Try some out and find the one that works best for you.
What was wrong with mine? That helps me tremendously when I get stressed out.
i read it, on my phone, on the bus to work everyday. before bed sometimes, too.
tao te ching- stephen mitchell translation - ( New Window )
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All of the replies so far on this thread have been really good and will all help to some degree (except FEK's).
Try some out and find the one that works best for you.
What was wrong with mine? That helps me tremendously when I get stressed out.
Just my opinion, but I don't think apathy is the way to go. Sure, you won't be stressed for a bit, but in the context of your life certain things absolutely do matter and opining about being dust in the wind isn't going to change that.
I also usually rub one out on my own 3 times a day whether I need it or not. Definitely keeps me centered.
2) Find what makes you laugh your balls off and watch it
It's not apathy. On a day-to-day basis we are of course going to regularly care about virtually everything we do. Anything from what we decide on for lunch to the people we choose to keep in our lives and the jobs that burden us. There's no stopping it because we are hardwired to care.
But in a particularly stressful time, which the OP seems to be experiencing, I absolutely think it's helpful to take a step back and appreciate how little it truly does mean... then go back to life as you know it when you're ready.
2) Find what makes you laugh your balls off and watch it
Even when I'm not stessed, I always found it to be a nice release to let go a bellowing yell while under water.
Once you're moving in a positive direction, the other stuff will keep you from getting back to this state.
Another idea is to write a vicious letter to those who are behind your stress - or who you can conveniently blame - make it vicious and nasty, then destroy it. It helps to extract the venom and make your problems tangible instead of intangible.
I was going to suggest the same thing. Get on the floor and wrestle around with them. Nothing melts stress away faster than your little laughing their asses off.
Nothing says relaxation like a job interview.
Do you not have stressful periods at work?
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Do you not have stressful periods at work?
I have indeed and the escapism of looking for a new job, plus actual prospect of getting what might be a better job if the stress doesn't go back to normal is helpful.
Completely random, but agreed. I recently asked my stepfather to call me when he needs to chop it up since I love doing it. Also great exercise if you are at it for more than 20 minutes.
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In comment 11630312 chris r said:
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Do you not have stressful periods at work?
I have indeed and the escapism of looking for a new job, plus actual prospect of getting what might be a better job if the stress doesn't go back to normal is helpful.
Interesting - that wouldn't work for me at all.
Playing with your kids is also a great idea.
One thing I never really understood was how going to the range relieves stress. Unless you get pleasure from just destroying things or the loud noise (then more power to you), I don't see how shooting a gun is at all stress relieving. Now if you take it on as a hobby and just enjoy getting better at shooting, then I can see it becoming your "zen" thing...but I think that's still sort of counterproductive since trying to master something requires some amount of stress inducement...no?
Something you can do at your desk is take 5 minutes to just to deep Yoga breathing:
Breathe IN, though your nose, on a count to 4 ("one-one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand, four one-thousand)...taking care to start at the bottom of your respiratory tract (breathing from the diaphragm) and filling up into the lower, then upper chest from there.
Hold the breath for 10 seconds.
Then exhale through your mouth, lips pursed, on a count to 6 (in same way as above).
As you breathe in close your eyes and envision that you are breathing in clean, crisp blue and golden air.
As you exhale, envision that you are expelling out, with your breath, all the brown smoke of toxins, stress and poisonous thoughts and feelings...all the tension coming out.
You can also imagine, as you do the breathing exercise, that you are moving blue-golden light from the tips of your toes and gradually up the body and ultimately out of the crown of your head...think rays of light coming out from the crown.
This is one powerful little exercise. Helps you get build your mind-body's awareness that you are storing stress in your chest. Be sure to spend extra time envisioning the golden blue light filling your lungs and chest...easing the tension.
Another thing I used to do when I had monkey-mind (brain and thoughts racing and stressing me out) was to focus on the feeling of my feet in my socks.
If you can make time for a Yoga class, it does help immensely to relieve stress and help you build a discipline and practice for coping with stress in the middle of your day.
You should try more things that can relax you. If you were already running or doing some type of exercise, continue that, but don't add something now.
I find Epsom salt baths very relaxing. I try to make it as hot as I can and add 2 cups of Epsom salt and soak as long as I can. Your body actually absorbs the magnesium through the skin and that relaxes you. Plus it is great for your skin. And if you have aches and pains, it helps with that too.
You should try more things that can relax you. If you were already running or doing some type of exercise, continue that, but don't add something now.
I find Epsom salt baths very relaxing. I try to make it as hot as I can and add 2 cups of Epsom salt and soak as long as I can. Your body actually absorbs the magnesium through the skin and that relaxes you. Plus it is great for your skin. And if you have aches and pains, it helps with that too.
Just don't do bath salts...I heard that will just make you hungry.
Find that something or somebaody and make sure its feeling more stress than you are. The whole mechanism of stress is to get you to deal with difficult situations. Take it for what it is, deal with it and move on
I second Phil on the walking idea. Don't think strenuous exercise is a good idea if you're feeling pain, but be aware that your inflammation rises when you combine sarc and high stress, so some of those pains might be related (I have a lymph node I can practically pinpoint by hand that hurts when I'm seriously stressed). Take a good walk, don't think about work, and remember that jobs come and go but you've got young kids that need you around.
I meditate 20 minutes every day.
another thing that helps me is to hit a golf ball. Go to a driving range and hit golf balls. My father told me a "A man has to hit something" he was kind of a psycho but it does help.
I taught myself how to play harmonica. It's pretty easy to learn and it helps alleviate stress.
I'm not a psychopharacologist/psychiatrist, but if it were me I'd be looking for a long-acting Benzodiazepene if I were going the med route. Extended release (not short-acting) Xanax is one; Clonazepam (Klonopin) is another, cheaper alternative.
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3 times a day? Are you a Freshman in college? Let us know your secret so we can all enjoy.
Not going into detail about my time with my wife, but I am (around) 40 and can tell you that you don't need to be young to handle thrice daily.
What Hades said with the caveat that as with just about anything different folks have different sex drives.
I'm just thinking Kleenex costs alone would be astronomical. Even if you're firing one off in the shower, don't hot water bills add up?
Please advise.
Often, the dosage can be cut or eliminated entirely over time, once the stress subsides.
I'm just thinking Kleenex costs alone would be astronomical. Even if you're firing one off in the shower, don't hot water bills add up?
Please advise.
You don't use it, you lose it.
Gotta keep the wedding tackle in good shape. Just be careful going dry, you don't want to build up calluses.
Another thing that I find relieves a lot of stress is reading the bible. So if you are a man of faith setting aside some quiet time each day for just that purpose can really be rewarding.
Also try taking up a brand new hobby. You will be surprised how much learning something completely different and new to you can take your mind off the routine grind you have become accustomed to.
Heh. I watched it just a few months ago on Netflix.
I'm still in love with Mary Stuart Masterson.
I'm no doctor, but I do know at least 4 people on a mild anti-anxiety medication regimen with successful results, including a close relative.
Yoga and meditation can help as well, but require considerable discipline that can be hard to achieve when one is anxious to begin with. .
This is also something that you should look into, IMO.
I had the same symptoms that you are describing when I quit drinking regularly. Felt like a constant panic attack. Until I went to the doctor I had no idea that it was alcohol withdrawl.
She gave me a script for anti-anxiety meds that helped temendously. I didn't take the whole month's worth because I didn't like the side effects, but it really helped me get through the first few weeks of withdrawl symptoms.
Nothing like petting a tamed pussy to make you forget your troubles.
I'm not a psychopharacologist/psychiatrist, but if it were me I'd be looking for a long-acting Benzodiazepene if I were going the med route. Extended release (not short-acting) Xanax is one; Clonazepam (Klonopin) is another, cheaper alternative.
You don't even need a benzo. SSRIs have been successful for anxiety and stress reduction and they aren't addictive as benzo's can me, although you do need to taper on/off them.
What I do is just walk and observe everything I see.
I.e There's a red car, there's a pink flower. This gets you out of the discursive mind. You'll find after about fifteen minutes that your more peaceful.
Nothing like petting a tamed pussy to make you forget your troubles.
Don't you mean one that needs to be tamed?
Definitely entering legend territory.
practice good sleep habits - everything seems worse when you haven't recovered.
eat heathy foods - cut out fatty/friend/sugary processed goods.
write down (1) what is the specific thing causing you stress? diagnose it and be as clear as possible (2) why is it stressing you out? (3) what do you believe the causes of the stressor are? (4) what do you believe the effects of the stressor are on your emotions and your actions?
challenge your beliefs of the causes, the reasons why it's stressing you and likely outcomes on your emotions and consequent actions.
For example, if your stressor is that you are overworked and the reason it is stressing you out is that if you don't get everything done on time you'll be fired or sued for professional negligence you need to think hard about whether that's a realistic outcome, what are the causes of it - is it because you can't say no, are underresourced, it's a crazy time of the year? And what emotions/actions would actually occur if everything you believed would happen in the catastrophic situation, would indeed occur.
A second thing that I did when I felt really harried was to reorganize my desk and files. I would put each case file in reverse chrono order and leave a note in each file as to what I had to do next and when it had to be done. I'd also prepare a detailed calendar schedule of all the things that I had to do.
It might take an afternoon to do all that stuff, but it was worth it. It really speeded things up, and I did not get stressed out searching for files and documents. They were all where they were supposed to be.
Maybe you can do a lot of that stuff electronically, but my point is: better organization saves you time and effort. That will reduce your stress.
and see if you're spending enough time with family and friends. life's too short to simply spend it as a mule hooked up the plow wagon
Find that something or somebaody and make sure its feeling more stress than you are. The whole mechanism of stress is to get you to deal with difficult situations. Take it for what it is, deal with it and move on
I'm an attorney myself. Attorneys have one of the highest heart attack rates of any profession - due to the incredibly high stress levels of the profession. They also have some of the highest frequencies of anxiety disorders.
So, your advice about "deal with it and move on" almost certainly will not work because there isn't an "IT" - rather it is the nature of the work itself. One long term solution is to change your profession. A less drastic, but also less successful, way to deal with it is to get some medical help with the anxiety levels (because the stress isn't going to disappear so long as you remain an attorney).
I echo this post. It worked for me (in terms of actually finding one).
I have to totally agree on getting a consistent workout in and a good sleep schedule.
And for me, find time to enjoy a cigar....
lawguy-
That's exactly how I started drinking. I know it's cliche or whatever, but next it was a couple, then it was "As long as I don't start drinking until 7PM", then it was 5PM. My choice of drink started with Crown, then switched to Burbon, then to vodka. When I decided that maybe I ought to slow down with the drinking a bit I was up to about 2 liters of vodka a week.
Not saying you're turning into an alcoholic, but from personal experience, it can lead to that if you don't take care of the rest of your life. Be it stress or depression, the drinks can be a form of self-medication (probably pretty much always is), and if you don't actually fix the problem (like getting back into P90X or however you figure to manage your stress) you could find yourself endlessly treating the symptoms instead of finding the cure.
17 years sober now. I would advise something other than alcohol.
Meditation - try lying down and listening to some walk-through meditation. They have a bunch of scenic meditation on You Tube.
Go to the gym: do anything. Wanna lift weights? Go for it. Wanna walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes? That's ok. Wanna run? Good. But exercise is a great stress-reliever.
And if it doesn't go away, look for a therapist and/or a psychiatrist. I took Klonopin for a couple of years back when I was 14 or 15 and it really helped me a lot (warning though: the stuff is addicting and it's very hard to wean yourself off of it so consult a doctor). I still take it as needed.
Oh and ask Phil in LA. He helped me tremendously when I was going through a major crisis.
I echo this post. It worked for me (in terms of actually finding one). [/quote]
You guys are fucking weird.
And if you still feel like shit, go home and get frisky with the wife.
See! That's why you're so angry. ;)
float tanks in nyc - ( New Window )
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See! That's why you're so angry. ;)
#notenoughschtuppingforangerjortsismyproffesionaldiagnosis
Easier said than done, Nate
That does sound intriguing, but even after reading it, I still don't get it. You just lie in a pool with infrared shooting across? Is that safe? Personal experience?
umm, no.
it's a sensory deprivation experience. you float in the tank because of the salinity of the water (similar to the Dead Sea), so you feel weightless. you hear nothing, see nothing. great way to clear your head.
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That does sound intriguing, but even after reading it, I still don't get it. You just lie in a pool with infrared shooting across? Is that safe? Personal experience?
umm, no.
it's a sensory deprivation experience. you float in the tank because of the salinity of the water (similar to the Dead Sea), so you feel weightless. you hear nothing, see nothing. great way to clear your head.
And then there's the sauna.
It does sound intriguing, but $80 for floating in a pool for an hour?
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That does sound intriguing, but even after reading it, I still don't get it. You just lie in a pool with infrared shooting across? Is that safe? Personal experience?
umm, no.
it's a sensory deprivation experience. you float in the tank because of the salinity of the water (similar to the Dead Sea), so you feel weightless. you hear nothing, see nothing. great way to clear your head.
it's definitely not cheap, but i love it.
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In comment 11631722 Greg from LI said:
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See! That's why you're so angry. ;)
#notenoughschtuppingforangerjortsismyproffesionaldiagnosis
Incorrect. I come from a long line of people prone to fly into rages. It's in the blood.
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Past regrets and future anxiety are poisons. Thank you Eckhart Tolle for this very simple life-changing concept.
For sure Anak. Changing your life take a lot of practice/hard work. Sometimes bad things force this change.
Easier said than done, Nate
It is an amazing experience. Some are are more like a small pool than a tank. Look for one of those.