Flavortown needs a recount because this portly spawn of Smash Mouth has expanded yet again. Kitchenette goes over the new restaurant's menu in detail, appropriately ridiculing Fieri each step of the way.
I actually attempted to enter Guy's New York American Kitchen & Grill with the fiancé purely just for mockery material but neither of us could muster up the patience after being greeted by Guy's annoying voice being piped out at 80 decibels outside of the joint.
No word on the acoustics but diners in Vegas are greeted by a banner that reads, "Welcome Guy Fieri"...no, you're right. This isn't logical. Are they welcoming Guy or is Guy welcoming you? Apparently after you invest so heavily in R& D to invent Donkey Sauce there are no resources left to execute a proper banner.
As a teaser I'll leave you with a few nuggets from the menu...
Sashimi Won-Tacos $14
Everyone's fave 'cuz they're wicked tasty! Sashimi grade ahi & serious mango-jicama salsa are packed into wonton taco shells + drizzled with "wow-sabi" cream.
The Guy-talian Deli Salad $16
We have built this salad in a crown of prosciutto-wrapped smoked provolone! Filled with crisp romaine lettuce, imported Italian meats & cheeses, pickled Italian veggies + tossed in a red wine vinaigrette.
Guy's Cheesecake Challenge $12
A huge mountain of cheesecake topped with potato chips, pretzels + hot fudge.
|
Guy's Vegas Menu - (
New Window )
All our wings are trimmed into "lollipops" so they're super easy to eat, then we brine & roast each one before frying & tossing in one of our off-da-hook wing sauces.
No one says "ain't nothing but a chicken wing," Guy. No one. That doesn't even rhyme. It's "ain't no thing but a chicken wing." Christ, I'm whiter than a mayonnaise truck accident at the RNC, and even I know that. It shouldn't be physically possible for me to be more disappointed in you as a human being than I already am, but against all odds, every new thing you do is somehow worse than the last horrible thing.
This. Fieri is ridiculous but taking aim at him with the snark-cannon is like challenging a second grader to a game of Scrabble and then celebrating your triumph.
I'm stealing that one. heheh.
In this case I like the snark. I've also never claimed I wasn't a jerk myself
In this case I like the snark. I've also never claimed I wasn't a jerk myself
Bilked? I wouldn't take a trip to Flavortown if you paid me, but considering how much prepackaged shit is sold at sit-down restaurants I really wouldn't afford any unique status to Fieri. And his show, while supremely hokey, has highlighted a number of decent little restaurants, no doubt saving thousands of patrons from the monotony of Mickey D's and BK.
Also, pretty sure his Vegas menu would look okay to me after I was whaling for days in the high stakes room with lady luck bringing me the jing. Ya know?
His personality annoys me and his food disgusts me, but I really like what his show has done. I enjoy Bourdain and Zimmern but for the most part the places they eat are either inaccessible to most of us or cost-prohibitive. His show highlights a lot of good, unique restaurants around the country, even if his own restaurants are neither good nor particularly unique, and most of what he highlights is accessible, both physically and financially, to the masses.
Or pictures...