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NFT: Opinions on Public Corporal Punishment?

CromartiesKid21 : 7/20/2014 2:11 pm
I was at Rite Aid the other day and witnessed a kid (likely 6-9) throwing a temper tantrum for something he had wanted as his father stood in line waiting to pay at the register. The father having enough, either tolerating his kid or the embarrassment he felt in a public setting promptly picks the boy up by his left arm smacks his behind three times and proceeds to head for the exits as he leaves the shopped for items behind since his kid had put his screams into gear 6.

I couldnt help but cringe at the course of actions I'd had just witnessed. But didnt feel wise to intrude in another's ways of parenting. The other 5 customers on the line/vicinity along with the cashier didnt react much at all to the occurrence, presumably in lines with my thinking at the time.

Is Corporal Punishment in a public setting a social taboo, or a lesson that is necessary to teach during the moment? Curious on opinions
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Cue the  
natefit : 7/20/2014 2:23 pm : link
"My dad used to beat me to a pulp with his belt and I came out just fine" crowd. That said, a smack on the fanny to break a tantrum is fine but beyond that its bullying imo. Expect your kids to do the same to others as he gets older.
It is a necessity in my opinion  
Joe in Knoxville : 7/20/2014 2:26 pm : link
If you don't correct the behavior at the moment is impossible to go back and say okay it's been an hour but now I am going to spank you for what you did at the store a while ago
I don't any problems if a parent  
steve in ky : 7/20/2014 2:29 pm : link
swats their child's rear. Anywhere else on the body and I would have an issue with it.
Well except  
steve in ky : 7/20/2014 2:31 pm : link
if they were to mild slap at a toddlers hand if he were trying to touch a hot stove or something comparable.
I don't have any children  
moespree : 7/20/2014 2:38 pm : link
But If did I would not hit. Physical punishment, albeit worse than what is described here, happened to me, and I just wouldn't do it.
Three smacks on the behind when a kid is throwing a tantrum  
buford : 7/20/2014 2:42 pm : link
is not corporal punishment, IMO. I don't go in for 'scheduled' spankings. But I have no problem with a parent reacting in this way.
Somehow my wife and I have managed to raise our  
Wuphat : 7/20/2014 3:03 pm : link
daughter without ever hitting her as a form of punishment.

It's amazing that she's not out knocking over liquor stores, right?
Parenting is a very personal thing  
Hammer : 7/20/2014 3:28 pm : link
and its hard to assign your individual views onto others.

That being said, from what the OP describes, it doesn't seem like the dad crossed any lines. We do not know what his son is like or how often he exhibits that type of behavior. In addition, 8 or 9 is a little bit old to be behaving like that if you don't get your way.
Different strokes for different folks...  
Dunedin81 : 7/20/2014 3:39 pm : link
people make due just fine without corporal punishment, while for others refraining from corporal punishment goes along with refraining from much of any punishment and the results can be awful. Conversely, there are parents who do just fine with mild corporal punishment and there are people who tread the line between punishment and abuse.
You don't have enough information to judge  
ZogZerg : 7/20/2014 3:43 pm : link
what the father did. Also, all kids are different.
Just curious  
Spock : 7/20/2014 3:54 pm : link
Does the guy who started this thread have any kids?
Battery  
rjo in fl : 7/20/2014 4:38 pm : link
If you hit an adult it is battery and you are arrested, but you can hit a defenseless child and that is OK because you are a parent - makes perfect sense?
I have seen both instances where a kid....  
Crispino : 7/20/2014 4:40 pm : link
was in need of a good swat on the ass and didn't get one, and where a parent has gone beyond the appropriate use of a spanking. I think a spanking is appropriate and effective if administered appropriately. The real question is whether parents know the difference.
RE: Just curious  
buford : 7/20/2014 4:43 pm : link
In comment 11773613 Spock said:
Quote:
Does the guy who started this thread have any kids?


Well, seeing that he is Cromartie's Kid, he probably has a few. But doesn't see them that much.
Rjo,are you a parent?  
Crispino : 7/20/2014 4:45 pm : link
If your 3 year old repeatedly runs in the street, he made need a swat on the ass to reinforce the seriousness of the deterrent you're trying to convey.
And if you haul off and hit a kid in the face...  
Dunedin81 : 7/20/2014 4:47 pm : link
you have still committed battery.
absolutely  
Mike in NY : 7/20/2014 4:50 pm : link
These kids need more discipline
Well is smacking someone's ass  
Joe in Knoxville : 7/20/2014 4:53 pm : link
Is assault then Brett Favre could serve 2,500 life sentences
Clearly this is a question of degrees and ...  
Crispino : 7/20/2014 5:07 pm : link
appropriateness. Obviously, anyone who says they were subjected to physical abuse was subject to more than the appropriate force or intensity. I know I was spanked, and I have spanked my kids, but I have no sense that it was anything terrible or excessive. I feel confidant that my kids would say the same. They are all happy, week adjusted kids with whom I have excellent relationships.

Some real ignorance on this thread.  
steve in ky : 7/20/2014 5:09 pm : link
describing a parent who spanks their child on the rear as "hitting" or "assault" is just a stupid as someone describing a parent who chooses not to spank as a parent who doesn't discipline their child at all.
RE: Just curious  
CromartiesKid21 : 7/20/2014 5:16 pm : link
In comment 11773613 Spock said:
Quote:
Does the guy who started this thread have any kids?


I have a 10 month old son & expecting a daughter in October, just curious to the responses here.
Knew about the one, didn't know about the other...  
Dunedin81 : 7/20/2014 5:18 pm : link
congrats!
RE: Knew about the one, didn't know about the other...  
CromartiesKid21 : 7/20/2014 5:22 pm : link
In comment 11773668 Dunedin81 said:
Quote:
congrats!


Thanks dune..yea pulled a Cromartie there, less than 3 months after the boy...whoopsies
Kids need a good buttt whippin (within reason)  
Jints in Carolina : 7/20/2014 5:25 pm : link
from time to time
No to corporal punishment  
Jim in Fairfax : 7/20/2014 6:06 pm : link
Yes to corporal captain punishment.
Words can hit as hard as a fist.  
fivehead : 7/20/2014 7:07 pm : link
I was verbally and mentally abused quite severely as a child. Now, as a parent, I don't scold my kids, I just spank them.
RE: RE: Just curious  
LauderdaleMatty : 7/20/2014 7:38 pm : link
In comment 11773667 CromartiesKid21 said:
Quote:
In comment 11773613 Spock said:


Quote:


Does the guy who started this thread have any kids?



I have a 10 month old son & expecting a daughter in October, just curious to the responses here.


Good luck with your kids but boy do you have a long road ahead.

A swat on the butt and removing yourself from a public outburst is IMO pretty normal Beating the kid is not the same as a whack on the butt.

Mine are 15 and 17 and bigger thanI am so now I get to kick the crap out of them . That's a joke just in case someone has their sarcasm meter off.
I would hit my kids in a heartbeat  
pjcas18 : 7/20/2014 8:05 pm : link
if I felt it was the best way to discipline them.

I wouldn't do it because I was frustrated with their behavior.

Luckily my kids are 11, 11, and 6 and I've never felt physically restraining or even hitting them was the best discipline.

And I was regularly hit as a kid and deserved to be (hands, belt, wooden spoon, metal spoon when the wooden one broke, etc.). I was downright awful. I was rude, lazy, disobedient, disrespectful, etc. you forgot ugly, freeloading...where was I?

Seriously, I was a bad kid, but my parents disciplined me fine and I wouldn't hesitate to discipline my children similarly, but haven't.
What about a tire iron to the head outside of the Tick Tock diner  
jcn56 : 7/20/2014 8:06 pm : link
on Christmas Eve? Too much?

-Rich's dad.
Smacking a kid on the butt is hardly battery  
Matt M. : 7/20/2014 8:36 pm : link
Much the same way if you smacked an adult on the ass is battery. I see nothing wrong with a light smack on the ass from time to time as long as that is not the only means of disciplining the child and as long as the child understands why they are being spanked.

More than that and on other parts of the body are not acceptable.
Pretty much against it  
RB^2 : 7/20/2014 10:34 pm : link
Corporal punishment just isn't how civilized people solve problems in the real world. Can a boss punch a subordinate in the shoulder for being disruptive in a meeting?

RE: Smacking a kid on the butt is hardly battery  
Dunedin81 : 7/20/2014 10:36 pm : link
In comment 11773867 Matt M. said:
Quote:
Much the same way if you smacked an adult on the ass is battery. I see nothing wrong with a light smack on the ass from time to time as long as that is not the only means of disciplining the child and as long as the child understands why they are being spanked.

More than that and on other parts of the body are not acceptable.


Back of the hand is still within the range of reasonable, especially when you're trying to convince him not to touch something dangerous.
RB  
steve in ky : 7/20/2014 10:41 pm : link
Who is advocating punching a child?

Reading this thread it is obvious that some people don't have any understanding of what a genuine loving discipline that might incorporate a few swats to the bottom entails.



Dunedin  
Matt M. : 7/20/2014 11:21 pm : link
Agree. It should really read more than that and on other parts of the body...
RE: RB  
RB^2 : 7/21/2014 8:42 am : link
In comment 11773988 steve in ky said:
Quote:
Who is advocating punching a child?

Reading this thread it is obvious that some people don't have any understanding of what a genuine loving discipline that might incorporate a few swats to the bottom entails.



What if it's a "loving" gentle punch? Where else in civilized society is corporal punishment acceptable?
Police have to do it all the time  
Motley Blue : 7/21/2014 9:01 am : link
and people go out of their way to defend it, even when it's obviously not necessary.

The same logic applies. Don't want to get your ass beat by a cop (or mom and/or dad), try not being disrespectful & keep your mouth shut.

People understand when police have to use force  
RB^2 : 7/21/2014 9:22 am : link
to neutralize a threat that itself is likely to harm others. I don't think people have much sympathy for police brutality for its own sake.
RE: Somehow my wife and I have managed to raise our  
BMac : 7/21/2014 12:01 pm : link
In comment 11773590 Wuphat said:
Quote:
daughter without ever hitting her as a form of punishment.

It's amazing that she's not out knocking over liquor stores, right?


Yeah, but what about that bank robbery?
RB  
steve in ky : 7/21/2014 12:13 pm : link
Quote:
What if it's a "loving" gentle punch?


The very first and unwavering rule if a parent thinks it is in their child's best interest to use spanking as a discipline option. Never spank when angry, and never spank out of anger. I can't believe anyone could punch another person without being angry but let alone their own child!

Anyone who associates punching with swatting a child's rear end either doesn't get it or can't control themselves and their anger and it is would be wise for them to never attempt disciplining a child in this manner.
Seriously,  
Matt M. : 7/21/2014 12:13 pm : link
how is a mild spanking equated with police brutality, bar fights, etc. This is some ludicrous thinking here.

Are there plenty (too many) instances of parents physically abusing children, especially young children? Yes. But, i guarantee there are countless more cases of parents that occasionally spank their child without ever approaching or crossing the line to abuse.

I take myself as an example. I was absolutely spanked as a child. I knew enough as a small child I didn't want to be spanked, especially by my dad, when it was a little harder. I was never hit with a belt or any other object. I was never left with a permanent mark. i was never left with anything other than a butt that was sore for a short while after. But, I still didn't want it and certainly altered my behavior to avoid it. Once the tipping point was reached where spanking had no affect on me, it ceased. I will add, that I have several other issues with my parents, including other forms of abuse and neglect, so I am absolutely not sugar coating this.
RB^2 -  
Exit 172 : 7/21/2014 12:14 pm : link
I don't use corporal punishment on my 4-year-old daughter, but you can't compare a parent disciplining his or her child -- whose rational skills are considerably underdeveloped and who is largely driven by emotion and impulse -- with two unrelated adults in a professional context. That analogy is a very weak one.
..  
Kyle : 7/21/2014 12:17 pm : link


My parents were hit as children, my mom badly.

Somehow, my parents raised three kids without hitting (yes, that includes spanking) any of them and we turned out toi be fine upstanding respectful people.
Kyle  
steve in ky : 7/21/2014 12:19 pm : link
So should everyone that was spanked and turned out to be "fine upstanding respectful people" also post?
Kyle  
steve in ky : 7/21/2014 12:22 pm : link
also, if that is her memory and how she describes it as an adult it sounds like your mom may have been abused, which nobody is advocating.
Quote:
My parents were hit as children, my mom badly.
..  
Kyle : 7/21/2014 12:25 pm : link
I would say she was, though I would consider the paddle/switch/stick to the backside to be abuse and "hit badly", thus my wording.
citing a comedy routine  
Greg from LI : 7/21/2014 12:25 pm : link
Always the mark of ace debating.

Reason with a four year old. Go ahead, try it.
RE: citing a comedy routine  
Kyle : 7/21/2014 12:28 pm : link
In comment 11774678 Greg from LI said:
Quote:
Always the mark of ace debating.

Reason with a four year old. Go ahead, try it.


Amazingly, not hitting a four year old can work. It's possible! Stunning, I know.
As to the Louis quote posted  
steve in ky : 7/21/2014 12:28 pm : link
The fact that he thinks talking isn't involved when spanking just proves that he doesn't have a clue, when it actually involves even more time and discussion with your child, or at least it should.
This is a topic where it is too easy to over-generalize  
Matt M. : 7/21/2014 12:30 pm : link
For every kid who was spanked and not abused there is one or more who was abused. for every kid who was spanked and turned out OK, there is one who was a fuck up in at least one way, shape, or form. for every kid that wasn't spanked and turned out OK, there is one who wasn't spanked and is a real asshole with no respect for authority, etc.

There is no complete connection to spanking or not spanking and how children, in general, will turn out. I think it is more a case by case study. The overall philosophy of the parents involved is a huge factor. Their ability to communicate with their children is important. Are they relying solely on spanking? are their children aware of why they were spanked? Is it a regular occurrence? Do tyhe children know they are still loved?

On the flip side, are parents who don't spank efficiently disciplining their kids? Do their children understand consequences, liability, and responsibility? Do their kids understand right from wrong? Do their children respect them and other authority figures? And on and on.

There are good and bad examples on both sides and an awful lot of gray matter in between.
in any case...  
Greg from LI : 7/21/2014 12:30 pm : link
As with so many things, it's a question of degree. A smack or two on the butt with your hand is not abuse.

I never set out to spank, and I fucking hate doing it. I do it occasionally because it works, in that it gets their attention. You can try and reason things out with a 3-4-5-6 year old, but guess what? Their brains don't have the ability to process logic. I can patiently explain to my kids until I'm blue in the face not to swipe each other's toys and do various other things to torment each other, and it has absolutely no effect whatsoever.
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