I was at Rite Aid the other day and witnessed a kid (likely 6-9) throwing a temper tantrum for something he had wanted as his father stood in line waiting to pay at the register. The father having enough, either tolerating his kid or the embarrassment he felt in a public setting promptly picks the boy up by his left arm smacks his behind three times and proceeds to head for the exits as he leaves the shopped for items behind since his kid had put his screams into gear 6.
I couldnt help but cringe at the course of actions I'd had just witnessed. But didnt feel wise to intrude in another's ways of parenting. The other 5 customers on the line/vicinity along with the cashier didnt react much at all to the occurrence, presumably in lines with my thinking at the time.
Is Corporal Punishment in a public setting a social taboo, or a lesson that is necessary to teach during the moment? Curious on opinions
I would agree, but that is not how I would describe a loving discipline incorporating a few swats to the rear end.
People are lumping in any beating with the word "spanking".
That would be like someone saying well when you talk to your child you must be screaming, belittling and cursing in their face.
Sure, I guess as a steadfast rule an absolute no spanking home could mean that there is no physical abuse, which is great. But, it doesn't guarantee there is no abuse of any kind in that home and it doesn't guarantee the kids are better parented or better off.
If you're talking about actual abuse, people who whip their kids with belts or wooden spoons or whatever, then I agree with you. If you're talking about a swat on the butt, that's completely different.
I post without further comment other than FYI.
http://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/corporal-punishment-in-the-home-parenting-tool-or-parenting-fail/ - ( New Window )
I find the notion that "you don't have kids, you don't know how you need to spank a kid's ass" to be laughable, though, because then I wonder "well, what would these same people say to my parents for how they handled their situation?".
No-nonsense blue-collar people, too, not New Age let the kid break things to express his inner self yuppie parents.
And Hell, to some, what appears to be a hug would be the wrong thing anyway as some would perceive that as rewarding a tantrum or poor behavior. The bottom is each child is unique in their behaviors and needs. Without real knowledge of that child and parent combination, most judgements should really be reserved.
I find the notion that "you don't have kids, you don't know how you need to spank a kid's ass" to be laughable, though, because then I wonder "well, what would these same people say to my parents for how they handled their situation?".
No-nonsense blue-collar people, too, not New Age let the kid break things to express his inner self yuppie parents.
Whenever you hear an expectant parent say "I'll never let my kid watch children's TV" check back in three years, after they've realized laundry and dishes won't do themselves. Everyone wants to reinvent the wheel when it comes to parenting, but sometimes things happen for a reason. And that reason isn't that the 80% or whatever that article says of parents who spank want to brutalize their children, or are lazy or stupid. Some are lazy and stupid and some flirt with abuse, but for the great mass of them they do it because if used judiciously it seems a reasonably effective means of correcting bad or dangerous behavior.
On the flip side, he mentions the superior effectiveness of timeouts and removing privileges. I can say that we have tried several methods with one of my sons. All of them had success for a limited window and then were lost on him. there is no end all, be all.
Simply telling a child no or giving them a five minute time out and nothing more takes little investment on the parents part.
Taking the time to attempt to explain and best communicate that their maturity will absorb, whether that involves a few swats to the bottom or not is a lot harder to stop and do when you having a stressful or busy day. They key is loving them enough to invest that time. The child will know the difference.
What he's saying is that the without spankings, the hypothetical kid would have also turned out fine, and might have turned out better.
He's not saying that the kid would definitely have turned out better.
I don't necessarily agree with the "of course" statement, but I also don't think he's said what you've classified as an assumption that they would have been "much better off".
Like the parent in the OPs example? That's effective? The kid screamed louder and the parent had to leave the store. I don't hit my kids for any reason, but I can guarantee that no matter how tired my kid is, that my use of a time out in the store and a quick discussion with him would have produced a better outcome for everyone.
It wasn't expressly to contradict your post but I was responding to it. Just pointing out that the issue can be better understood as child development in between particular milestones (the ability to do dangerous or mean things and the ability to respond to logical cues) than the primacy of one method over another.