NFT: Advice sought from the Dads of BBI

The term Daddies little girl is around for a reason. You will love her and she will drive you completely bonkers. Mine is 11 and simultaneously going on 5 years of age and 21 years of age.

Your wife will handle the girly issues. You will be her rock. Congrats.

As much as your son is like you I bet you will see ways she will be like you that you never considered. As much as you have bonded with your son I bet you bond just as much but in knew and different ways with your daughter. Look forward to it you will embrace it and do just fine.

is a little different. You'll get use to it. If she's athletic, you can coach her and playing with her is as fun as playing with a son. All you worry about with boys (I have two) is that they don't get some girl pregnant. You'll be a lot more protective, I promise you. Fending off potential boyfriends is fun. Nothing beats putting the fear of God into a high school kid.

Quick story: we meet the new boyfriend from college, daughter is telling us about his new radar detector.

Me, "You speed with her in the car?"
Him, "Not too much."
Me, "Anything happens to her while you're driving and you'd better hope you die because I'll kill you."

They got married in 2006 and have two boys. Walking your daughter down the aisle, be careful, you might lose it. ;)

Long way to go, yet. Have fun.

And yeah, let your wife handle the girly stuff. Jesus.

because of all the experience you have from the first child.

The second child, whether boy or girl, will be different in many ways from the first even if you raise him/her the same as the first. It's in the DNA.

I guarantee that you will love a little girl as much as a little boy. The only terrors you need to worry about:

1. You will get even less sleep
2. The cost of little girl clothes. DO NOT go shopping with you wife for children's clothes and that includes shoes.

Congratulations dad.

There is a built in ramp up system.

You will grow as a parent as your child grows. You don't need all thhe answers day 1

but trust yourself, do the best you can and you'll probably be amazed at how well you do with a girl. Your wife can handle the "womanly" issues but those are so far down the road you shouldn't worry about them.

Show her love. Show her affection. Be someone she can always count on and the rest will take care of itself.

in raising a little girl, but you will absolutely have the greatest time with her. As stated earlier by another poster, you already know how to deal with the baby issues, so you are already prepared for 75% of raising a little girl.

Our little one girl is three now, and I also was terrified of having a daughter for two reasons. First was because I had never dealt with a baby before in my life, and the second, because I wasn't sure my personality was set to be a dad for a little girl. Boy was I wrong. As my wife puts it, having our little girl was the greatest learning experience for me not only as a dad but as a man. My daughter allowed me to let go of my cultural inhibition in showing affection (Asian culture), and I realized that the concept of "daddy's little girl" is about a true as it gets. She has me completely wrapped around her little finger.

I so wanted another daughter, but fate has it that we will be welcoming a little boy at the end of this year. So I'm terrified in an opposite way from you...I'm terrified that I'll ruin the little guy by being too hard on him compared to his older sister.

Congrats, good luck, and you've got this!

You'll be fine. Don't be a tool bag and threaten her bf when she gets older especially if you're a skinny dude or fat slob

and definitely do threaten the boyfriends! (bx)

people. Stay equally connected regardless of gender.

Give her love, make her laugh, show her how women ought to be respected by the way you respect her mother. She will watch and learn every bit of that relationship and model it for her own future relationships.

There's no need to threaten or instill fear in her boyfriend. Get them to respect you instead. Then he'll become an ally of yours and not a combatant.

and easy for a dad to love a girl. Don't over think it. The differences only arise when they grow up a bit. I am raising my girls to be badass little ladies.

anything about raising boys before you had one, even if you think you did.

I have three daughters, and when we found out our twins were girls (first kids) I was in shock for a couple months.

From the time we found out my wife was pregnant, any time I pictured those babies being born and growing up it was always as boys, but now that they're born and I've been their father for 11 years old I couldn't imagine it any other way.

I don't have any advice because I'm still figuring things out, so other than some of the suggestions above which apply to any gender (love your child, raise your child, support your child, etc.) not much to add.

You'll see.

In comment 11775699 Moondwg said:

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and easy for a dad to love a girl. Don't over think it. The differences only arise when they grow up a bit. I am raising my girls to be badass little ladies.

And by badass, he means prim and proper philosophical badasses. I mean, we are talking about Moondwg here, so how badass can anyone get learning from him?...;)

In comment 11775705 RC02XX said:

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In comment 11775699 Moondwg said: Quote: and easy for a dad to love a girl. Don't over think it. The differences only arise when they grow up a bit. I am raising my girls to be badass little ladies. And by badass, he means prim and proper philosophical badasses. I mean, we are talking about Moondwg here, so how badass can anyone get learning from him?...;)

Hey! Bastard. I meant that they can already shoot BB rifles and are learning karate. They also like cool stuff like Lord of the Rings. Not just frilly bullshit!

Also, apropos of your thoughts, they could hopefully hold their own in "verbal warfare", at least my younger one, who is for better or worse, daddy's little girl in that respect.

it was so easy I said to myself 'hey, I could have ten kids, this is a piece of cake'.

Fast forward three years later when my oldest son was one, and I was thinking 'if I had this guy first, that would have been it for me'.

Girls are the easy ones. A few dodgy years in the teens that I'm not looking forward to, but teach them to be independent and smart and make good decisions and that can't be too bad either.

little girl, turns one in a few days, and she is an absolute delight. she finds everything i do from coughing to peekaboo to be hilarious. i know that there will be some challenging teen years ahead and there will be a period where she finds everything i do to be lame, so just trying to enjoy this fun time now. congrats!!

In comment 11775713 jcn56 said:

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Girls are the easy ones.

HAH!!!! Not always the case. I love my little pumpkin (that was a term of affection she demanded for herself, btw) but my god she is a handful and a half. She was by far the more placid of the two as a baby, but as they get older she's turned into a whiny, screaming tornado. To be fair, her brother tries to provoke her quite a bit, but still. We've been trying for over a year now to impress upon her the fact that she doesn't have to react to every minor annoyance or disappointment by shrieking at the top of her lungs, but it still hasn't taken yet.

In comment 11775709 Moondwg said:

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Hey! Bastard. I meant that they can already shoot BB rifles and are learning karate. They also like cool stuff like Lord of the Rings. Not just frilly bullshit! Also, apropos of your thoughts, they could hopefully hold their own in "verbal warfare", at least my younger one, who is for better or worse, daddy's little girl in that respect.

You're like a warrior monk...kudos. And I'm with you, man. When my little one turns five, I'm going to take her to our local MMA/Jujitsu Gym and see if she wants to learn. If not, no big deal...but I want to afford her that chance. At this time, she's doing ballet...but she refused to wear the outfit my wife bought her...haha.

From newborn to about 10 or so, she is daddy's little girl. Will adore you for just about everything, we only have one but it was great while she was young.
However beware of the tween through teen years, she will tick you off, break your heart and adore you all within a day or so.
Also a heads up but girls’ friends are much different than guy friends. They can be absolutely hideous and mean. Be careful you will have lots of her coming home in tears over girlfriends.
My daughter has graduated from college and moved back home, Has her resume out for a job. I look at sometimes and see the two or three year old that always loved her daddy.
She has gotten over the teenage years and had become a pretty good young woman,

You'll do great. After one girl and then with one on the way, I was hoping for another girl...and thankfully we now have two great, healthy girls.

I remember the day I found out about 8 years ago that I was having a girl. I was almost in shock. I grew up with 3 boys in my family, I had no clue what it was like. All I knew was that she was going to eventually meet guys like me and that scared the crap out of me.

Fast forward 7 years later and holy crap. You can't fathom the kind of bond and love that you will have for this little itty bitty human being. She is my world and your daughter will be yours. Well, until they turn 14 and start to hate us, but I have another 6 years before then!

shit. Just try hard and you'll figure it out.

want to reassure you that everything will be fine. All you need to do is give her love and your attention, just like with any other child, and set limits as you would with any other child.

If the love is there, everything else will follow.

aside from clean up with diaper change, as infants there isn't much difference. I have two daughters, both great. One athletic, the other a girly, girl (that likes going to shooting range, btw). Your wife will take care of the girl education part, other than that, treat them like equals (brother and sister), if you try to be too protective you will "smother" her.

Enjoy!

5 and she is my best friend. She is a daddies girl through and through. My brother had 3 girls and my friends all had girls and I wanted a boy so bad. I openly admit when we first found out there was about 30 seconds of disappointment. But after that I was fine. She is amazing. And makes me a better man. It is a love that you didn't know existed.
I am the first person she wants when she is sick or hurt or sad. And I LOVE that. We got had boy in January '13 and our family is complete.

Your story is so close to mine. After our son was born, I shared your feelings. When my wife was pregnant with our first daughter, I shared your feelings.

Then she was born. It was by far the most amazing day of my life. Everyone knows sons are great, but I had no idea how profoundly inspiring it is to be the father of a girl. I get the chills just thinking about it. Enjoyl. You are lucky.

Sometimes, they want to play and you are tired or don't have time. I often feel like that. But I try to remember that soon enough, they will get big and stop wanting to play and I will miss these times terribly. So I try to say "yes" even when I don't always feel like it.

In comment 11775732 RC02XX said:

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You're like a warrior monk...

Finally, someone who understands me as I understand myself.

completely different but we love her so much... very emotional times. shes absolutely wonderful.

beyond that, cant talk about raising a female. we, like you, will figure it out.

Reminds me of my son. He's a hugger, always wanted to be hugged (he calls it his "snuggles"). I told him one time that I have to enjoy his hugs now because someday when he gets older he won't want hugs anymore and he told me, "Don't be silly Daddy, I'll always want my snuggles!" heh

they are my life and i will destroy the earth for them(if i have super powers of course)

it will be tough because my wife assumes most of the duties of girl things(bathroom and such) but they look to daddy for protection and the love.

I always wanted a boy but i thank god everyday for the love my girls give me

In comment 11775776 WideRight said:

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Your story is so close to mine. After our son was born, I shared your feelings. When my wife was pregnant with our first daughter, I shared your feelings. Then she was born. It was by far the most amazing day of my life. Everyone knows sons are great, but I had no idea how profoundly inspiring it is to be the father of a girl. I get the chills just thinking about it. Enjoyl. You are lucky.

i totally agree

and my daughter is by far the more athletic of the 2 and is much more into watching the games with me. I know he is only 6 but even at his age she was showing a lot more interest in it. I didn't plan it out like that she just has taken a big interest in it. I have a great relationship with my son, its just we don't share the sports stuff as much as with my daughter.

Thank you all so much for the congratulations, encouragement and insight. I am a very lucky man. There is no doubting that. I feel so inept but it's comforting knowing that I'm not the first to have those feelings. I was actually hoping for a girl but once I got my wish, I panicked.

I will obviously give her my all in life and be as good of a Dad with her as I am to my son. No one could have properly explained the bond that I instantaneously felt with my son so I look forward to feeling that all over again.

I hope you everything goes well for you and your new little girl. Enjoy every moment of it. Being a Dad is just great.

I'm on the verge of having my third. While I'm sure my son will rise above the whining and annoyance that goes along with being 2, right now my girls are cuter and much funnier than he is so I can recommend them highly. They will melt your heart.

But I raised two beautiful girls but i think the philosophy is the same, I always rewarded behavior that was in my girls best interest and did not reward behavior that wasn't (I stopped spanking very early on). All I ever asked my kids for was their best efforts. If their best efforts resulted in subpar grades I rewarded it(bullshit never got rewarded though). This went a long way in their growth to become the fine young ladies they are today.

In comment 11775808 Greg from LI said:

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I'll always want my snuggles!" heh

We can only hope.

Of all the things I was surprised to learn about being a parent, the bittersweet nature of it all was the biggest surprise. Didn't realize that their growing up would be so sad at times.

there is something about a little girl...

Congratulations. Two kids is WAY harder than just one, but your heart is so much bigger for it. Best wishes.

In comment 11776047 Greg from LI said:

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Of all the things I was surprised to learn about being a parent, the bittersweet nature of it all was the biggest surprise. Didn't realize that their growing up would be so sad at times.

It kills me. Of course we want them to grow up and have wonderful fulfilling lives, but it kills me that it is happening so fast. Like you said about the hugging or if you see them not playing with what used to be their favorite toys because they outgrow them. It is harder for me than I ever imagined it would be. Even that scene one one of the Toy Story movies where the girl grows up and forgets her childish toys got to me. Maybe because I am an older dad it makes it even harder because I know the reality is I may not be there for as many of their adult years or maybe it is this hard for everyone, but as you said that part of it is harder than I knew it was going to be.

Yet as they have aged it has opened up so many new things that we share and enjoy together so it really is ongoing. The thing to remember is today is going to be tomorrows "yesterday" and this year will soon be "last year" so I try to savor every moment I have with them and spend as much time with them doing as many things as I am able.

If so, my answer is that there is no answer. Just treat her, teach her, guide her as you would a boy or anyone for that matter. It should be instinctive. I have three girls, I try to direct them to do things that I think will improve their lives, that they would enjoy, and that they may be good at.

Do what in your instinctive mind makes sense. Encourage her with her interests whether they be stuffed animals or toy trucks.

You married a woman (or am I being presumptuous these days?) so you have a good understanding of girls in general. I really don't think you need advice here.

but there are always future milestones in their lives that you will take part in. Looking forward to those is part of the fun and a normal process.

Me, I am looking a little bit forward to an empty nest or at least only one kid at home in about 3 - 5 years.

to all my friends that have kids, do what you think is right and hopefully you wont screw them up too much and watch out for hair tunicates. Have twins, one of each, and I'd be lying if I tried to say I didn't favor her a little. They'll be 2 in Sept. I'll never forget she was crying in the incubator after birth and I stroked the side of her head and she stopped, hasn't worked since. Diaper change now, someone pooped.

In comment 11776184 Some Fan said:

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If so, my answer is that there is no answer. Just treat her, teach her, guide her as you would a boy or anyone for that matter. It should be instinctive. I have three girls, I try to direct them to do things that I think will improve their lives, that they would enjoy, and that they may be good at. Do what in your instinctive mind makes sense. Encourage her with her interests whether they be stuffed animals or toy trucks. You married a woman (or am I being presumptuous these days?) so you have a good understanding of girls in general. I really don't think you need advice here.

It's not really a question. I guess that I just needed a vote of confidence. Also, I'm glad to know that I'm not a complete jerk for feeling the way that I do. I'm sure that I'll do fine but I'm traveling into the unknown. That is for sure!!

She doesn't have to have a little wee-wee between her legs for you to relate to her.

In comment 11776165 steve in ky said:

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In comment 11776047 Greg from LI said: Quote: Of all the things I was surprised to learn about being a parent, the bittersweet nature of it all was the biggest surprise. Didn't realize that their growing up would be so sad at times. It kills me. Of course we want them to grow up and have wonderful fulfilling lives, but it kills me that it is happening so fast. Like you said about the hugging or if you see them not playing with what used to be their favorite toys because they outgrow them. It is harder for me than I ever imagined it would be. Even that scene one one of the Toy Story movies where the girl grows up and forgets her childish toys got to me. Maybe because I am an older dad it makes it even harder because I know the reality is I may not be there for as many of their adult years or maybe it is this hard for everyone, but as you said that part of it is harder than I knew it was going to be. Yet as they have aged it has opened up so many new things that we share and enjoy together so it really is ongoing. The thing to remember is today is going to be tomorrows "yesterday" and this year will soon be "last year" so I try to savor every moment I have with them and spend as much time with them doing as many things as I am able.

I have never known greater joy or greater pain. Greater pride or greater confusion. Greater love or greater concern. No regrets tho. None.

I have a 7-yr old daughter. Little girls are wonderful creatures.

BTW, I'm much more worried about her girlfriends than her eventual boyfriends when she is older. It's the female bitchiness that has always worried me.