Archived Thread

NFT: DIY question - how to induce labor?

Dunedin81 : 7/28/2014 11:24 pm

Give me your dumbest, most illogical, funniest and maybe if you remember your most effective means of getting things started. The time has come to serve an eviction notice, preferably before the doctor does so in a week. And don't just give a generic recommendation for sex because, well, everyone else does.

Patience.

section125 : 7/28/2014 11:27 pm : link

They will come when they are ready. The day my wife was supposed to be induced her water broke at 0430.

This is kid 4...

Dunedin81 : 7/28/2014 11:27 pm : link

patience is not an option.

my daughter was two weeks late

mikeygiants : 7/28/2014 11:32 pm : link

so I took a dirt road home from work after picking up the wife. i didn't expect anything to happen, i was laughing about it. but after taking a few bumpy miles things started to happen fast. my daughter was almost born in the car.

List of things tried so far...

Dunedin81 : 7/28/2014 11:35 pm : link

bumpy roads
red raspberry leaf tea
spicy food (took this a little too far, went with the ghost chili BBQ sandwich)
pizza
lemon everything, including lemon drop cupcakes that claim 100+ induced births w/in 24 hours
walking (to the extent that my wife can)

Wife bounced on excercise ball

BlueHurricane : 7/28/2014 11:35 pm : link

Water broke same day she started doing it.

jumping

MookGiants : 7/28/2014 11:37 pm : link

jacks.

Wife is a cripple...

Dunedin81 : 7/28/2014 11:38 pm : link

vigorous exercise, to include bouncing, is very difficult.

I could be totally

MookGiants : 7/28/2014 11:38 pm : link

wrong about jumping jacks anyways, I read it somewhere years ago and it could be complete bs. I really have no clue obviously

eggplant parmigiana

D HOS : 7/28/2014 11:40 pm : link

There is some science to it...
I think you'll like some of these... - ( New Window )

We did the eggplant parm too...

Dunedin81 : 7/28/2014 11:41 pm : link

didn't mean to omit that. Coaxed her into making some pretty awesome chicken parm to go along with it so while it didn't succeed everyone won.

Make it...

Chris in Philly : 7/28/2014 11:44 pm : link

a direct order?

...

kmed : 7/29/2014 12:11 am : link

Sperm

coughing

M in CT : 7/29/2014 5:02 am : link

my wife had a little cold at the end and she coughed so much that her water broke from the pressure. baby was born 18 hours later.

no, I don't recommend getting her sick deliberately. just tell her to cough.

oh, and make her laugh too. can't hurt - unless your jokes suck.

sex

ImThatGuy : 7/29/2014 5:59 am : link

Same thing that got you into the mess

vigorous

Pork and Beans : 7/29/2014 6:38 am : link

Anal

First time I got drunk in 3 months (out of sympathy)

if_i_knew : 7/29/2014 7:05 am : link

out she came

I would consider alcohol...

Dunedin81 : 7/29/2014 7:15 am : link

to put up with my wife's hormonal rage and incessant whining, but she's not a very good driver when she isn't in labor, I doubt her skills would improve if her water breaks.

WTF is wrong with BBI?

Jim in Fairfax : 7/29/2014 7:16 am : link

BLAST HER IN THE BUTT!!!

I second Jim

Mike in NY : 7/29/2014 7:22 am : link

Blast her in the butt (or use a small enema if you don't want to do that). I have seen mixed reports on the internet regarding eating fresh (not canned) pineapple

Sex made my wife go into labor

GMENGianni : 7/29/2014 7:36 am : link

it was a Sunday night around 10:45PM, we had some good sexy time and she went into labor at 1:45AM Monday morning. Unfortunately for her, the labor lasted 27 hours, poor girl.

nothing is sexier

Moondwg : 7/29/2014 8:22 am : link

than a obscenely bloated woman with an alien in her stomach.

RE: nothing is sexier

Cam in MO : 7/29/2014 8:42 am : link

In comment 11784987 Moondwg said:

Quote:

than a obscenely bloated woman with an alien in her stomach.

Ew. No.

I'd love to help

Greg from LI : 7/29/2014 8:43 am : link

But both of our kids were in a serious damned hurry to get started in the world. No inducements were necessary.

Who the fuck wants to blast a pregnant chick in the butt?

pmmanning : 7/29/2014 8:52 am : link

Have her walk in while you're blasting the 21 year old babysitter in the butt.

That kid will come flying out.

It's a win win!

So one life will come into the world...

Dunedin81 : 7/29/2014 8:55 am : link

just as another one leaves it. In the alternative, I like my wife and alimony is expensive.

RE: So one life will come into the world...

Moondwg : 7/29/2014 9:00 am : link

In comment 11785035 Dunedin81 said:

Quote:

just as another one leaves it. In the alternative, I like my wife and alimony is expensive.

It's the circle of life.

RE: Wife bounced on excercise ball

mattlawson : 7/29/2014 10:07 am : link

In comment 11784896 BlueHurricane said:

Quote:

Water broke same day she started doing it.

this was recommended, did it during labor as well, and we still use it for bouncing the baby to sleep every night. works like a charm

RE: RE: Wife bounced on excercise ball

Cam in MO : 7/29/2014 10:10 am : link

In comment 11785138 mattlawson said:

Quote:

In comment 11784896 BlueHurricane said:

Quote:

Water broke same day she started doing it.

this was recommended, did it during labor as well, and we still use it for bouncing the baby to sleep every night. works like a charm

Exercise balls are friggin' awesome.

I'd revisit the dirt road

mikeygiants : 7/29/2014 10:23 am : link

and be an asshole about it.

spicy chinese food

goldy1313 : 7/29/2014 10:58 am : link

done

My sister is a Doula in NYC and has assisted over 600 births

SwirlingEddie : 7/29/2014 1:02 pm : link

She has more tricks and tips than I can count, but in the end each birth is different.

You could show her this thread

Moondwg : 7/29/2014 1:06 pm : link

and she will probably either laugh enough or get angry enough to jostle things around.

I already did...

Dunedin81 : 7/29/2014 1:31 pm : link

she was amused.

You may have to wait

buford : 7/29/2014 1:44 pm : link

until the next full moon. Births always spike during full moons.

Screw the exercise ball.

manh george : 7/29/2014 1:55 pm : link

Hace her jump on a golf ball.

Alternatively

manh george : 7/29/2014 2:00 pm : link

Have her jump on Jonas Seawright, if you can find him. He can do anything.

castor oil

Tom in Kzoo : 7/29/2014 7:42 pm : link

My wife(6 kids) andMy guess is by in a good friends ( 5 or 6 ) say it works. My guess is it induces labor by stimulating smooth muscle contraction(of gut, and by extension, uterus).

2 kids

Walt in MD : 7/29/2014 7:56 pm : link

Sex the night before labor both times.