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NFT: The living hell of a man who orgasms 100 times a day...

Danny Kanell : 9/22/2014 12:33 pm
Not really much more I can add to that article title

Quote:
“Imagine being on your knees at your father’s funeral beside his casket, saying goodbye to him — and then you have nine orgasms right there,” he said. “While your whole family is standing behind you.”

Written like an Onion atricle, but it isn't - ( New Window )
The photos are the best.  
FatMan in Charlotte : 9/22/2014 12:35 pm : link
He's dejected on a field and on a park bench. How is this NOT an Onion article?
Why does he have to tell people it's orgasms?  
manh george : 9/22/2014 12:36 pm : link
It sounds as if part of the problem is his own embarrassment.

Call it epilepsy, or migraine headaches, and no one will be the wiser. Then he can lie back and enjoy it.
.  
Danny Kanell : 9/22/2014 12:37 pm : link
lmao

Fatman  
manh george : 9/22/2014 12:37 pm : link
This involves a massive amount of dejaculate.
.  
Danny Kanell : 9/22/2014 12:38 pm : link
so now it's wrong to have an organ at  
oghwga : 9/22/2014 12:39 pm : link
Your father's funeral?

The pussification of America continues!
Well  
Rocky Thompson : 9/22/2014 12:39 pm : link

That came out of nowhere...
So did he go blind  
Deej : 9/22/2014 12:42 pm : link
or not?
So...  
JOrthman : 9/22/2014 12:43 pm : link
He came and his dad went?
That sounds really hard.  
Mike in Long Beach : 9/22/2014 12:43 pm : link
.
Opens  
dorgan : 9/22/2014 12:44 pm : link
up a new market for Depends.
Deej, wrong question.  
manh george : 9/22/2014 12:45 pm : link
You can only go blind if you are, um, giving yourself a hand.
Live Free?  
Motley Blue : 9/22/2014 12:46 pm : link
More like Jizz Free. Hi Oh!
RE: Why does he have to tell people it's orgasms?  
BMac : 9/22/2014 1:11 pm : link
In comment 11876144 manh george said:
Quote:
It sounds as if part of the problem is his own embarrassment.

Call it epilepsy, or migraine headaches, and no one will be the wiser. Then he can lie back and enjoy it.


Why aren't his pants all stained?
he must've opened that happening thread  
micky : 9/22/2014 1:21 pm : link
Then it was all down hill from there
fappening  
micky : 9/22/2014 1:22 pm : link
.
Open my window and a breeze rolls in and  
Tom from LI : 9/22/2014 1:28 pm : link
I JIZZ IN MY PANTS
Jizz in my pants - ( New Window )
I had the same condition  
Mike in Marin : 9/22/2014 1:34 pm : link
when I was 15...but it was more self-imposed, to be honest.
Pretty sure that guy is actually Jeremy Shockey  
SB : 9/22/2014 3:12 pm : link

.  
Modus Operandi : 9/22/2014 3:22 pm : link
Quote:
Occasionally we will [have sex], but it’s very frustrating for both of us as this condition has left me unable to finish,” he said. “I’ve tried reading about it, tried going to doctors, but nobody can help me — I don’t know what I’m going to do. I just want to get my old life back — I just want to get back what this condition has taken from me.”


Alanis Morissette just wrote another verse.
RE: The photos are the best.  
EricNY33 : 9/22/2014 3:33 pm : link
In comment 11876140 FatMan in Charlotte said:
Quote:
He's dejected on a field and on a park bench. How is this NOT an Onion article?


Kinda makes you wonder if all these news sources got duped.
My friends and I were baffled by this all day today.  
arcarsenal : 9/22/2014 8:22 pm : link
I kept looking for the spoof part or the onion link. None of us understand how it is real. And I'm sure this guy is having a tough go of it but the pictures are soooo funny. Him face down in the middle of a field, completely dejected.. and to top it off, he has "LIVE LIFE" tattooed on his fingers.

This cannot possibly be real but I still can't find anything that says it isn't.
Imaging being the wife of a dude...  
arcarsenal : 9/22/2014 8:22 pm : link
...who is creaming himself every 5 minutes but all of a sudden, when he gets in bed with you, he suddenly can't do it. That has to be fucking humiliating.
Odds are he is having number 37  
Headhunter : 9/22/2014 8:26 pm : link
in that picture
Wikipedia on PGAD  
Rick in Annapolis : 9/22/2014 8:29 pm : link
...
Persistent Genital Arousal Disprder - ( New Window )
SNL has a video about this guy  
Jim in Fairfax : 9/22/2014 10:21 pm : link
.
Spot on - ( New Window )
Now  
DanMetroMan : 9/23/2014 12:42 pm : link
with video (not of the orgasm)
Link - ( New Window )
There lives an unfortunate guy  
shepherdsam : 9/23/2014 1:30 pm : link
Whose plight brings a tear to my eye
Forty times a day
He shoots forth DNA
And sixty more times fires dry
He looks like he's in pain  
illmatic : 9/23/2014 1:39 pm : link
every time in happens. He might as well just play it off and act like he gets random killer stomach aches. lol
There was a young man name of Herm  
manh george : 9/23/2014 6:12 pm : link
Who spent most all day shooting sperm.
But he cursed his life
And so did his wife
'Cause for or her, he had not quite a germ.

Though most people though Herm was quite knowing
His life he was constantly blowing
Cause 100 times a day
While going on his way
He was actually coming and going.
There once was a guy with a dick  
shepherdsam : 9/23/2014 6:19 pm : link
that wasn't so long or so thick
but tremendous amounts
of spermatozoa would pounce
from it fantastically often and quick.
There once was a man from Wisconsin  
Mike in Marin : 9/23/2014 6:39 pm : link
Who had such a sensitive johnson
It wasn't much fun
To possess such a gun
As it shot like one owned by Charles Bronson !
There once was a sad man named Dale  
shepherdsam : 9/23/2014 6:49 pm : link
who was selling his come by the pail
after two years
he had no money fears
but was cranky, distracted and frail.
A man with eternal erection  
Mike in Marin : 9/23/2014 7:22 pm : link
Was in need of a doctor's correction
Who said and I quote
"If your cums were a vote"
"My god son, you'd win the election"


Dale called to bitch and to moan  
shepherdsam : 9/24/2014 8:51 am : link
To his dry cleaners over the phone
"I gave you ten dollars"
"There's no starch in my collars"
"And my pants still stand up on their own"
In Two Rivers, there lives a young guy  
Mike in Marin : 9/24/2014 2:24 pm : link
Who shoots and he shoots til he's dry
Though at first it seemed funny
His shorts soon got runny
And could impregnate half of Versailles
.  
shepherdsam : 9/25/2014 10:01 am : link
Sticky wads of goo
Fill my pockets from inside
Here I come again
Shep  
Mike in Marin : 9/25/2014 1:28 pm : link
I'm waving the white flag on my Limericks for this thread. Tired of trying to come up with rhymes for "cake batter" and "drippy socks."
I don't think I'm done yet.  
shepherdsam : 9/25/2014 1:31 pm : link



...he said.
I mean, I don't have anything right now  
shepherdsam : 9/25/2014 1:34 pm : link
but it'll come to me?
hahhh  
Mike in Marin : 9/25/2014 1:35 pm : link
....
I feel lke we should be milking this?  
shepherdsam : 9/25/2014 1:35 pm : link
.
I've had enough...  
Mike in Marin : 9/25/2014 1:50 pm : link



....(signed) Dale Decker's Laundress.
I just came to this thread...  
Dave in Hoboken : 9/25/2014 1:51 pm : link
Feel horrible for the guy.
There once was a guy named Dale Decker  
shepherdsam : 9/25/2014 2:02 pm : link
A truckload daily he passed through his pecker
Said "I could park an SUV, uh,"
"Inside my urethra"
"It's just as annoying as Fekker"
I wonder how it could be  
fkap : 9/25/2014 2:15 pm : link
that arcarsenal cannot see
my hand has no life
nor does my wife
for my fingers say Live Free
here I sit broken hearted  
fkap : 9/25/2014 2:17 pm : link
came to shit but then the orgasms started
I think I know just what to do  
shepherdsam : 9/25/2014 2:33 pm : link
With this mountainous pile of my goo
If I can get them believin'
It's yogurt, not semen
I might make me a quick buck or two
RE: I think I know just what to do  
Taggart : 9/25/2014 3:36 pm : link
In comment 11881490 shepherdsam said:
Quote:
With this mountainous pile of my goo
If I can get them believin'
It's yogurt, not semen
I might make me a quick buck or two


Holy shit. This one is pure gold.
Probably the funniest thread I've read in years on here...  
logan80 : 9/25/2014 4:12 pm : link
Kudos to you both!

You just kept coming, and coming, and coming with shot after shot.
I just can't stay away.....  
Mike in Marin : 9/25/2014 4:45 pm : link
I had no idea a slipped disc
Could carry so evil a risk
Now a pile of goop
Made my shoes fill with soup
Does anyone want some clam bisque ?
poor Dale sat in a funk  
fkap : 9/25/2014 7:23 pm : link
his spirits so low had sunk
you think he'd be glad
with the orgasms he's had
but instead he's tortured by spunk
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