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NFT: Teen has sex with a stuffed animal at Walmart, puts it back

MookGiants : 10/21/2014 12:52 pm
Sean Johnson, 19, “selected a brown, tan, and red stuffed horse from the clearance shelf in the garden department.” He then went to the comforter aisle in the housewares section, “proceeded to pull out his genitals,” and“proceeded to hump the stuffed horse utilizing short fast movements.” The lewd act was captured by surveillance cameras. After Johnson “achieved an orgasm and ejaculated on the stuffed horse’s chest area,” he placed the “soiled stuffed horse on top of a bed in a bag (comforter set) contaminating that property also.”

I'll give you one guess to figure out which state this happened in
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FL!  
Vin R : 10/21/2014 12:53 pm : link
.
Come again?  
shepherdsam : 10/21/2014 12:54 pm : link
.
So it's a twice stuffed animal  
vibe4giants : 10/21/2014 12:55 pm : link
.
My Little Baloney Pony?  
Rocky Thompson : 10/21/2014 12:56 pm : link
...
Comforter aisle?  
Randy in CT : 10/21/2014 12:57 pm : link
This is writing itself!
I'm really surprised they haven't come up with a cable channel  
Giants11 : 10/21/2014 12:58 pm : link
called like the Florida News Network. The could cover stories like this shit all day 7 days a week.
I hope  
natefit : 10/21/2014 12:59 pm : link
it was a brood mare at least
I'd frost...  
Chris in Philly : 10/21/2014 1:02 pm : link
that horse like a wedding ca...

Wait, what?
How could you guys miss the first comment under the article?!!!  
T-Bone : 10/21/2014 1:02 pm : link
Quote:
Neigh means neigh


LMAO!!!!!
So I guess he rode that pony bareback, huh?  
Jon from PA : 10/21/2014 1:05 pm : link
.
We need a clean up in housewares please  
Zebra3 : 10/21/2014 1:06 pm : link
.
I always  
Pete in MD : 10/21/2014 1:11 pm : link
operated under the assumption that most things in a Florida Walmart are semen-stained.
RE: We need a clean up in housewares please  
Rocky Thompson : 10/21/2014 1:13 pm : link
In comment 11933899 Zebra3 said:
Quote:
.


Herb, we were never in aisle 6, I swear!

Wasn't a cousin, was it Zebra?
How's a broney supposed to find a suitable mate  
Cam in MO : 10/21/2014 1:13 pm : link
without testing it first?

I don't see the big deal here.


Hey, now look here.  
Johnny5 : 10/21/2014 1:15 pm : link
Bestiality is only funny if you are phucquing a hyena.
not sure why he  
pjcas18 : 10/21/2014 1:21 pm : link
"puts it back" is part of the headline.

Isn't that the normal thing to do after defiling a stuffed animal in a major retail store?

RE: not sure why he  
Rob in NYC : 10/21/2014 1:41 pm : link
In comment 11933919 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
"puts it back" is part of the headline.

Isn't that the normal thing to do after defiling a stuffed animal in a major retail store?


A lot of times, I will buy it, after all, we just shared a moment...
RE: not sure why he  
Jon from PA : 10/21/2014 1:50 pm : link
In comment 11933919 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
"puts it back" is part of the headline.

Isn't that the normal thing to do after defiling a stuffed animal in a major retail store?


I'm not sure, what is proper brony etiquette? Cam?
It was only the fourth....  
Crispino : 10/21/2014 2:06 pm : link
weirdest thing that happened at that Walmart last week.
RE: RE: not sure why he  
Cam in MO : 10/21/2014 2:14 pm : link
In comment 11933983 Jon from PA said:
Quote:
In comment 11933919 pjcas18 said:


Quote:


"puts it back" is part of the headline.

Isn't that the normal thing to do after defiling a stuffed animal in a major retail store?




I'm not sure, what is proper brony etiquette? Cam?


Depends...Rainbow Dash definitely is the type of pony that likes the crop and wants to be kicked to the curb.

i must be coming don with a cold.  
manh george : 10/21/2014 2:15 pm : link
i'm feeling a little horse.
Easy to sit there on your high horse  
NoGainDayne : 10/21/2014 2:23 pm : link
can you all honestly say you have never locked eyes with a stuffed animal in a walmart and got lost in the moment?
They played Johnny Ride The Pony...  
manh george : 10/21/2014 2:27 pm : link
differently when I as a kid.
Is this a Florida story  
section125 : 10/21/2014 2:31 pm : link
or another people of Walmart story..?
Kid was feeling his oates today  
Rocky Thompson : 10/21/2014 2:33 pm : link

Certainly did stirrup a lot of controversy, truly a tale of whoa...
Poor bastard will never live this down.  
shepherdsam : 10/21/2014 2:34 pm : link
He'll be saddled with it the rest of his life.
What a  
Zebra3 : 10/21/2014 2:38 pm : link
(Wait for it)
Night-mare!
You guys are just beating a dead....  
vibe4giants : 10/21/2014 2:40 pm : link
something.
RE: What a  
pjcas18 : 10/21/2014 2:40 pm : link
In comment 11934097 Zebra3 said:
Quote:
(Wait for it)
Night-mare!


You're just jealous.
He mistook it for a toy ship.  
manh george : 10/21/2014 2:42 pm : link
Which, of course, is where you put all the seamen.
if this had happened in another state  
Greg from LI : 10/21/2014 2:43 pm : link
would it have been a horse of a different color?
Lots of sicko's out there today,  
Dave in Hoboken : 10/21/2014 2:43 pm : link
not a surprise.
I would hope he put  
ctc in ftmyers : 10/21/2014 2:46 pm : link
it back. If not, that be stealing.

Now they just got him for horsing around.
considering where it was  
Jon from PA : 10/21/2014 2:46 pm : link
I assume he wasn't doing the act furlong...
I' bet this guy would love  
Jon from PA : 10/21/2014 2:48 pm : link
to wake up to a little horse head in his bed first thing in the morning.
Was she a ,"Mudder I'd Like to F___?"  
MOOPS : 10/21/2014 2:49 pm : link
.
at least he was careful  
FJ : 10/21/2014 2:55 pm : link
Quote:
Johnson “achieved an orgasm and ejaculated on the stuffed horse’s chest area,”

Didn't want to get the stuffed horse pregnant.
He was trained for this  
Rocky Thompson : 10/21/2014 2:56 pm : link

The name in his underwear was jockey...
RE: How could you guys miss the first comment under the article?!!!  
Hades07 : 10/21/2014 3:01 pm : link
In comment 11933891 T-Bone said:
Quote:


Quote:


Neigh means neigh



LMAO!!!!!
I saw it, cracked me up.
Pearl necklaces are in jewelry dept  
Zebra3 : 10/21/2014 3:01 pm : link
Too.
Zebra3  
manh george : 10/21/2014 3:09 pm : link
Was the victim related?
RE: at least he was careful  
BMac : 10/21/2014 3:10 pm : link
In comment 11934146 FJ said:
Quote:


Quote:


Johnson “achieved an orgasm and ejaculated on the stuffed horse’s chest area,”


Didn't want to get the stuffed horse pregnant.


Tried to do a facial and missed.
He has been at this a while. Here's the family.  
manh george : 10/21/2014 3:26 pm : link

Sean Johnson, 19, “selected a brown, tan, and red stuffed horse  
Zebra3 : 10/21/2014 3:28 pm : link
No one goes for black and white anymore.
For you older guys or film buffs  
Rocky Thompson : 10/21/2014 3:29 pm : link

I bet he wishes he was invisible when that camera was on him
Should have done his best Claude Reins impersonation...
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?  
BeerFridge : 10/21/2014 3:30 pm : link
I tell you, I gotta plead ignorence on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon... you know, cause I've been to a lot of WalMarts, and I tell you, people do that all the time.
RE: For you older guys or film buffs  
BMac : 10/21/2014 3:42 pm : link
In comment 11934243 Rocky Thompson said:
Quote:

I bet he wishes he was invisible when that camera was on him
Should have done his best Claude Reins impersonation...


When it Reins, it pours.
.  
FJ : 10/21/2014 3:48 pm : link
WHORES? I thought you said HORSE.
He should have done it  
old man : 10/21/2014 3:50 pm : link
in 'Vegas.
What happens in Vegas......

He did nothing wrong; he was just horsing around.

That man needs to be body slammed.
I can see this in court now...  
JohnF : 10/21/2014 4:01 pm : link
"But Your Honor, he was just horsing around!"
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