...that is at least the size of your hand and can't fly. You keep all of your knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom.
You have two weeks to get from New York to Chicago to turn back into a human... But at the same time, there is a nationwide hunt for you. Everyone knows your new animal form, and if any of the authorities see you they will try and shoot you on the spot.
Which animal do you choose to be?
Nice. Randy sacrifices himself from ever becoming human again to do BBI a solid.
Buy Randy a beer... Or whatever Wolverines like.
Weird.
NYC rats are more like the size of your head then the size of your hand, so you're good there...
Just an exercise in survival and creativity on this lovely Friday.
If that's your goal in life, you could simply visit India after turning back into a human!
Maybe a Liger? Bred for its skills in magic??
Quote:
India...I want to graze/eat all day while shitting on people without any repercussions as I'm treated being treated as a holy diety.
If that's your goal in life, you could simply visit India after turning back into a human!
or run for President of the USA
Next question.
Fail. By turning into a cat, you are increasing the cat population by 1. So getting murdered just nets out and we're still stuck with far too many cats.
From your lips to God's ears let it be so :)
The best anybody would have on me is some grainy video every few weeks.
Quote:
Just to purposely get murdered and have one less cat on earth.
Fail. By turning into a cat, you are increasing the cat population by 1. So getting murdered just nets out and we're still stuck with far too many cats.
No, you're putting your brain into a cat according to the OP.
I like this idea. Can we turn Brett into a cat?
Errrr....get a room?
lol yeah, wtf? That was weird.
That is a damn good answer!
Fail. It would be unable to keep its mission a secret and would thus be publicly revealed.
Mike in Long Beach : 9:40 am
...that is at least the size of your hand and can't fly. You keep all of your knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom.
Do you mean physically? That would make Brent's pussy head even stranger shaped than it is now. There'd be gray matter showing. A pussy skull is too small.
But if you don't mean physically, it makes even less sense because you wouldn't have any of your knowledge, intelligence, or wisdom without the actual physical structure.
If you're talking some sort of magic: there's no such thing.
True. But there's so many other rats and squirrels for other animals to eat. On the other hand there's probably like 10 total bobcats in the Chicago - NYC corridor. Close call.
Definitely, but after putting extensive thought into the question on my morning commute today, I decided to move away from "obvious in a big city" part as much as possible. Almost all animals in a major city other than a rat or a rodent will look out of place, so I'm taking my chances with a lot of creatures. I want something that will have the skills and elusiveness to make the long journey.
River otters are good on land, water, ice, snow, can be nocturnal or diurnal, can eat many different types of food and are small enough to hide somewhat easily. I like it.
You misread the instructions. YOUR brain goes into the Jack Russell. Why would you think that makes it smarter?
I'll be a Chimpanzee because I can keep those opposable thumbs, become 5x stronger than the average human, get all the monkey pussy I've ever wanted, and start an Ape Uprising like in the movies.
Racoon is the answer to your question if I want to become a human in Chicago. Opposable thumbs plus naturally camouflaged and a small size that's easy to hide.
Well, except the being a furry part.
Then I will turn into MacGruber, find you, rip your throat out so you can't "talk to text" on BBI either
Quote:
Honestly, who can resist a smart Jack Russell?
You misread the instructions. YOUR brain goes into the Jack Russell. Why would you think that makes it smarter?
Well I'll answer your question with another question. What makes you think it doesn't?
I might have to Ecco the Dolphin my way up the Erie Canal.
I might have to Ecco the Dolphin my way up the Erie Canal.
You can use your imagination on that, but the guiding motivation is that getting to Chicago is imperative to your survival.
A. Tapeworm
B. River Otter
C. Sasquatch
D. Jack Russell Terrier
Interesting choice of city.
A. Tapeworm
B. River Otter
C. Sasquatch
D. Jack Russell Terrier
Greg's Bobcat should be in the mix, too.
True, but you still have your brain so...you'd be much better at hiding and avoiding dangerous situations. Plus, a bobcat would pretty much have to make the entire trip by foot which would suck. A rat or mouse or squirrel could catch a ride without being detected. Get there safer and much quicker.
All of this is moot though.
Can we kill Brett already? I'm really excited.
2) source of food available
3) easy exit upon arrival
4) meets the size qualifier
cons
1) two week window may be a problem if your not going to chicago
2) source of food available
3) easy exit upon arrival
4) meets the size qualifier
cons
1) two week window may be a problem if your not going to chicago
Yeah, sorry. There aren't enough pro's around to nullify living in poo for two weeks.
I kid.
Plus, I'm badass and have mysterious powers according to Native Americans.
Plus, Chicago has an AHL hockey team called the wolves and if I am smart about it, I can be confused for the Chicago Wolves mascot and just blend in.
Is your friend an actual gray wolf like I would be? Probably. Just proves my plan would work as I expected.
Maybe an ape-like creature would be the move here. Then you can perhaps fit into a mascot costume and no one will know who's underneath.
That sounds weird.
So, based on that, I'd say (1) coyote, or (2) white tailed deer.
I was gonna say skunk, 'cause they don't have many predators to worry about, but I don't think a skunk travel 40 miles a day for 14 days in a row.
Quote:
Rats or squirrels get eaten quite a bit by a variety of predators, so you're not only running a human gauntlet but an animal gauntlet as well. That's why I liked a bobcat. It's not prey for anythin but it's small enough to be inconspicuous.
True. But there's so many other rats and squirrels for other animals to eat. On the other hand there's probably like 10 total bobcats in the Chicago - NYC corridor. Close call.
Way, way more than that. Hell, we have more than that right where I live.
Link - ( New Window )
Just don't go anywhere near a Chinese restaurant.
--Looks like an ordinary lizard
-- Can bury in sand
Need to carry something to keep warm (maybe aluminum foil)
Not sure if it meets the size requirement.
Basiliscus - ( New Window )
This is fucking hysterical....
Chris r, I'm more than a little late. I heard this question last night on old recording of the Ricky Gervais podcast in 2005. Obviously, the question was posed to Karl Pilkington, though the cities were London and Glastonbury.
I'm actually surprised Randy did not choose Chupacabra.
I don't think it is physically possible for a rat or squirrel to travel that distance without breaking down.
At minimum you need an animal that can see well at night. The obvious choices are hardy dogs like a beagle or a mountain lion. Personally I'll go with a wolf.
you can kill, not be killed, hide better than anything, climb trees or mountains, live in any terrain or temperature, and people can't find them even when they try to.
However, I am not sure the mountain lion could swim across the Hudson, in which case a bald eagle with a gun.
However, I am not sure the mountain lion could swim across the Hudson, in which case a bald eagle with a gun.
Except it would be arrested due to the extremely strict gun laws there
Want to stop me? Sure, make my day!