NFT: Report: missed chances to help Newtown shooter Adam Lanza

Is this why mass shootings are seemingly more prevalent today? These mentally disturbed people are no longer mostly on an island with their crazy thoughts. And on top of that they actually receive affirmation for their thoughts online from other crazies.

And while this may come off as mean spirited and even outright inhumane, fuck that miserable excuse for a mother. Her irresponsibility directly contributed to this horrific tragedy. Even though I am not religious, if there is such a thing as hell, I hope she has a permanent residence there.

Ugh...she could have done so much more for her disturbed son. Yet all she did was to make the situation worse and even make it easy for something so tragic to happen.

she did a really shitty job of dealing with this guy, and basically enabled him to go forth with that disaster. Knowing what she did about his personality, then surrounding him with guns?

Too bad she didn't have to live to see the aftermath, that would have been a more fitting punishment than being killed by that lunatic.

Amen. No need to qualify that comment. How a mother lets her kid slip away like that is beyond me.

With her life. I'm sure if she were alive she'd be pretty damn ashamed that her son became a mass murderer. Having a special needs kid is no walk in the park. I'm sure she couldn't imagine that he had such evil in him.

In comment 11992721 That Said said:

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Amen. No need to qualify that comment. How a mother lets her kid slip away like that is beyond me.

And you're not even getting into the fact she had guns in the house that he could access readily. It's really unbelievable.

time bombs are out there? Scarier than ISIS.

There are probably a lot of violent mentally disturbed people out there. Lots of em in philly rooti ng for the eagles.

but she likely was in a some denial of how bad he had become and probably genuinely never could of imagined her "baby" could or would ever do anything remotely like he did. Hindsight is always much more reveling.

In comment 11992865 IronGiants1973 said:

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With her life. I'm sure if she were alive she'd be pretty damn ashamed that her son became a mass murderer. Having a special needs kid is no walk in the park. I'm sure she couldn't imagine that he had such evil in him.

She's not the only one who paid for her mistakes.

That is definitely true. I had to drive to Hartford CT from White Plains about 1 week after the massacre and I remember how sick I felt driving past the Newtown exit on 84.

One of my rugby buddies has a boy and a girl who were in school that day. Luckily for them, their classes were in the other end of the school. Their lives will never be the same.

As a parent, you try to do your best. Hindsight. It's all we have here. She failed. Big time.

In comment 11992883 steve in ky said:

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but she likely was in a some denial of how bad he had become and probably genuinely never could of imagined her "baby" could or would ever do anything remotely like he did. Hindsight is always much more reveling.

Steve, ignoring that he locked himself in his room for 3 months and he only communicated with her via email goes way beyond "denial". She also was aware of how little nourishment he was getting to slim down to 112 pounds. I assume he was not that underweight before his self exile. I can't het my head around that scenario.

Did the minimal to remain engaged with his son and the whole situation.

Denial as to how bad he had really become, not that he didn't have a problem. Do you really believe this lady had any inkling at all that her son would commit such a horrific act?

Being a parent of someone like that has to wear you down mentally something awful and by the time he was that age if she believed that while obviously broken was best left to himself when he chose to be than I can understand her leaving well enough along so to speak.

Again I said she should have done more, I don't disagree with that at all. I just have a little empathy for what her life must have been like and choose not to judge her as harshly as other apparently do simply because I have the benefit of knowing the outcome and viewing it from afar.

the father isn't more to blame here. Since he is alive today we should hear from him.

What was she denying? Of course "mass murderer" or harming others was probably the furthest thing from her mind. But the welfare of her child locked in his room for three months and who won't speak to her should raise more than a little concern for his physical as well as mental well being. Suicide certainly should have occurred to her.

the things she may have attempted to do to get him to eat more or come out of his room more do you? Or for that matter all the things she may have had tried to do for him throughout the years. She very well me one of the worst and most neglectful mother of all time or she may have been a women mentally weary and emotionally numb from raising that boy by herself for so long who made some serious errors near the end of their lives.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions and if you feel she should be vilified that is your prerogative. I simply don't know enough about her daily life in raising and then caring for him to be so absolute about it or willing to judge so harshly other than I agree she should have done more.

In comment 11992960 Fish said:

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the father isn't more to blame here. Since he is alive today we should hear from him.

From the report ...

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There is no indication that Mr. Lanza concluded that AL’s mental or physical health had significantly deteriorated or that Mr. Lanza sought to facilitate a mental health intervention. In later interviews, Mr. Lanza indicated that he felt Mrs. Lanza was a contributing factor to AL distancing himself from him. Mr. Lanza stated that Mrs. Lanza often said that AL was doing well or better, and that the email in November that he was having great difficulty came as a surprise. Mr. Lanza noted that Mrs. Lanza did not tell other family members about the depths of what Mr. Lanza called AL’s “seclusion.” After the shootings on December 12, 2012, Mr. Lanza spoke to a close relative of Mrs. Lanza’s who also confirmed that Mrs. Lanza had not shared the gravity of AL’s presentation in the waning months of his life.

I'm all for having empathy for parents going through tough time with disabled child(ren). However, if you read the article (among others as well), this mother didn't heed the advice of professionals against removing her son from social interaction, which they predicted would make his condition worse. If she thought she knew how to deal with her kid better than what the professionals were telling her, then she completely failed at how she did deal with her son that he isolated himself away from everyone for such a long time. Or she was a fucking selfish idiot (I've seen several people like her, who shunned any professional assistance for their disabled children because they overestimated their own abilities), who was in complete denial. No matter, she doesn't deserve any sympathy for directly contributing not only to the tragic loss of so many kids and teachers but also for allowing her son to spiral so out of control because she overestimated her own abilities or was too lazy/stupid to do her duties as a parent. Fuck that bitch.

But as usual, many are missing the point.


Her ignoring professionals and failing to treat her son's mental health is not nearly as condemnable as allowing him unfettered to multiple firearms and unlimited amounts of ammunition for those guns.

some of the nuanced and thought responses here. Im feeling more comfortable about starting a thread about family mental illness and just may do it

I agree, the firearms is the number one mistake that comes to my mind that she made.

Just two weeks before the Newtown shooting, Nancy discovered ghastly and sinister pictures in her son’s room featuring dead bodies, but she did not confront him.

“One (drawing) had a woman clutching a religious item, like rosary beads, and holding a child, and she was getting all shot up in the back with blood flying everywhere,” a friend said.

“Nancy was disturbed, really disturbed, but didn’t confront him,” he said. “She wanted to think it over.”
Nancy Lanza was the problem - ( New Window )

to say that she could have and should have done more, she simply didn't.

happened in Newtown. But with a troubled son how can you not fear he could be a danger to himself. How do you have guns in the house let alone ones of that magnitude? I can not imagine what the Sandy Hook parents must be feeling when they read this report. My heart continues to go out to them.

locked up in his room and not letting him out or feeding him? I just don't know what to think anymore. I read that he had brain damage from anorexia. Very disturbing. I know that no one thinks their child could do something like this, but if your kid was that messed up, you have to do something.

with obsessive compulsive disorder and would only eat food if arranged a certain way, would not eat food if it was served on certain plates, etc. he would also change his clothes up to 20 times a day, which she accommodated by doing his laundry daily.

despite all this, and despite him apparently not having left his room in months, she opted to leave him alone in the house for a two-day getaway in new hampshire, apparently as part of an experiment in letting him stay home alone and be independent.

the massacre occurred the morning after she got back.

i think it's safe to say she was batshit crazy herself, and completely enabled his coming unglued.

to the shooting range and taught him how to shoot.
Link - ( New Window )

She would be appropriators vilified - but cause she's dead no one goes there - similar to mike brown

Please do because such a thread is long overdue.

In fairness, she in no way could foresee the horrific act; however, she could see that her son had a serious medical condition. True but - because she denied her son's access to the recommended medical treatment. - she is to some degree responsible for the consequences of that decision. Similarly, had he not committed the act, she would have been responsible for any pain and suffering he experienced.

If you reject the opinion of professionals, which is sometimes the correct thing to do, you had better do so with an alternative, well researched treatment option.

I'm a little troubled by the conclusion that "in the end, Adam Lanza, he and he is responsible for this monstrous act" because I am not certain that given the missed treatment opportunities and the ill advised access to firearms, someone in that condition, is completely responsible for their actions.

Is an example of one of these guys that got help and went on the shooting spree anyway.

At least that's how I heard it.

Mrs. Lanza F'd up, sure, but if this kid was that far gone, where's she gonna get help in this society anyway?
rodger - ( New Window )

I had a friend who had a troubled son. She tried everything. But the day he turned 18 he left the house and started living a very destructive lifestyle. There was nothing she could do since he was 18. Obviously these parents should have done something way before then (gotten power of attorney or had him committed) but we all know how poor or mental health system is. It sounds to me like the mother was in complete denial.

In comment 11993292 aquidneck said:

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Is an example of one of these guys that got help and went on the shooting spree anyway. At least that's how I heard it. Mrs. Lanza F'd up, sure, but if this kid was that far gone, where's she gonna get help in this society anyway? rodger - ( New Window )

C'mon, she wasn't poor or ignorant - she could have gotten him more/better help than she did. It's fair to suggest that the additional help might not have benefited him at all, but it's a nice cop out to suggest she did all she could.

She went into denial, masking the issues from her ex-husband and family, and turned the kid on to high powered firearms. As a mother, she was an abject failure.

The report said recommendations from Yale psychologists that he be medicated and undergo rigorous treatment as a child for anxiety and other conditions were rejected by his mother, who eventually took him out of school.

"Is the community more reluctant to intervene and more likely to provide deference to the parental judgment and decision-making of white, affluent parents than those caregivers who are poor or minority?" the report asks. "Would (Adam Lanza's) caregivers' reluctance to maintain him in school or a treatment program have gone under the radar if he were a child of color?"

Lanza's father is a financial services executive. The son and his mother lived in an exclusive neighborhood in the wealthy bedroom community, 70 miles north of Manhattan.

Research has found that upper-middle-class parents are far more likely to be resistant, defensive and even litigious when presented with treatment options suggested by school service providers, said Suniya Luthar, a professor of Psychology at Arizona State University, who has written extensively on the topic of affluence and mental health.

Deferring to those parents can have grave consequences, allowing nascent problems to escalate to serious and sometimes dangerous levels, she said.

Read more: - ( New Window )

I suspect that could also cut the opposite way - lower SES parents being more unlikely to challenge/question professional recommendations (e.g., special education) resulting in unnecessary and harmful treatments/interventions (compelled medication, special education).

Mom not only failed to help, but provided the kid with guns.

Rodger shows that sometimes even with parents involved, violence due to mental illness is possible.

Lanza didn't get, but might have been beyond professional help.

Institutionization for Lanza might have been the only solution. How easy is it for a parent to get that for their child?

On a societal level, will medicsl insurance pay for it?