I have been out a few times with a woman I work with and have had a lot of fun but there are danger signs everywhere and think I should cut bait soon. She is 44 and very fit and attractive.No kids. She looks like she is 30 and behaves that way too. She is always impeccably groomed and well dressed and has a terrific sense of humor and fun. The problems are she married and divorced young. She has been on spring break for 20 years. She has mostly guy friends. She is friendly with her exes. She can't cook, has no pets, and can't even keep a house plant alive. Her mother is on her 4th marriage.
Also - she is a Jet fan.
She is a very hot date and fun to be with but there is a reason she has been left on the shelf. She is a classic pump and dump girl and I think it is best to get out before I start to really care about her. I am looking for something real and don't think she is capable of that.
Advice ?
I feel the same about whatever guy you are with.
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You need to hold on like grim death to any woman that can even tolerate you.
I feel the same about whatever guy you are with.
Absolutely hilarious. You implied he's a homosexual! Truly great, mature humor. Sure showed him!
She needs to run from you as fast as she can.
Apparently she has better things to do tonight that don't involve you.
Why don't you try getting serious with her? Are you looking for someone less independent? Why?
If I were in your shoes I would want a girl that was like her - no real risk if it doesn't go wrong anyway - she's not psycho with her exes or anything. Just keep it going - take the relationship where it naturally wants to go. Either you're both into each other and it starts to get serious, or she's playing with you and having fun.
I don't see the downside to either scenario, to be honest.
Actually, the only downside I see is that you dump her because you are afraid she might be wanting to let the relationship grow deeper. And this is the one scenario you are seriously considering?
This place is getting more hyper sensitive than Good Housekeeping.
And this guy.
Is this Uncle Leo?
Tf you know that, you kinda answered your own question.
Unless it's the only place you can get laid?
Anyway - isn't it your job to change her desires? To make her want you and no one else?
Perhaps you're not looking for that kind of a challenge. Find a lesser girl - one that isn't as desirable in every way this girl is - and go after her. It's likely she'll want to stay with you forever. And that's what you're really saying you're interested in.
No offense, but I don't get guys like you. You remind me of a lot of girls I've known over the years. You're looking for a relationship - have found a girl you totally like in (almost) every way - and you're considering letting her go because she might not want the same relationship (yet) that you do?
Here's my advice. Man up. Recognize that you're going after a girl that's out of your league, not because she's not into you but because she's in love with her independence. Make a decision to go after her ANYWAY and win her over. Take on the challenge of turning her love for you into something greater than her love for herself. Give it a shot for a year or two. Don't worry about things - if you prove unable to convince her then you will find plenty more women at that age who are definitely looking for a life-companion.
But in all seriousness, i usually ask myself can i see this women being the mother of my children? In your case, she is 44 so i don't see how this will imply to you (unless if you both have kids from your previous marriage).
It's funny that she sees all relationships as temporary but in your OP one of your excuses for calling her "pump and dump" is that there must be something wrong with her since god forbid no man decided to marry her.
Sounds to me like she doesn't want to be tied down and enjoys her "Spring Break" lifestyle. Why would she want some possessive misogynist fucking that up?
And this guy.
LOL manh george
Went out with her for a while. She dumped me, came back with hat in hand, we went out again and she flaked one more time.
About three months later she came back for another round and I told her sorry, but I'm done.
16 years later she's still single and will, most like, stay that way.
If I were you I'd give it a go and enjoy the ride as long as it lasts. When it's over you won't be surprised and, hopefully, not that badly hurt.
If it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger.
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And homophobic, what educated woman wouldn't want such a fine catch?
we aren't talking about Greg from Li...the OP isn't THAT bad.
Whoa! Can't believe what I just heard. Hey Spider, here. This is for you...
It's important to have standards.
Link - ( New Window )
My suggestion would be to chat with her and see where it goes. If she blows the topic off, evades the questions or simply plays word games then you know what to do which is move on. If she responds favorably then you have something from which you can build.
Ask yourself this question: Are you reluctant to invest in her because you're scared she'll lost interest in you before you do in her? That's a pretty legit doubt, no one wants to get hurt, embarrassed, made a fool. But the only way to find out is to play it cool for a while and see where her feelings go.
As far as not being nurturing and all that. Dude she's 44, kid time, house time is not happening. If she looks great and acts great at 44, she is who she is. That sounds like an awesome partner if you are around her age.
If you are looking for wife material it doesn't sound like she is one.
If you have been burned in the past or cheated on in the past, you are going to look for that in her
Having been in similar situations, my advice would be:
1. Be kind but don't dote on her.
2. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Don't cheat or hit on other women, but keep other possibilities open until your relationship with this woman matures.
3. Watch how she behaves in public with you. If she is constantly flirting with the bartender or other guys, that shows a lack of respect. In that case, just enjoy the relationship for as long as it lasts but don't invest emotionally.