I'd like to get an objective opinion on a situation that is occurring within a group of roommates.
The roommates live in a 6 BR house. 3 of the roommates lived there the previous year. When the time came to renew the lease last year, the 6th roommate planned on moving out. There was nobody lined up to fill the room, which would increase rent.
After the lease started, the 6th roommates housing plans fell out. As such, he asked to stay temporarily, paid all applicable rent and utilities from November up until this point, but was not on the lease. He now wants to move out.
Legally, he is not obligated to pay the remainder of the rent due. However, is he morally obligated to, as his move increases the rent for everyone else?
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and he said it was temporary.
Good lord.
JFC lol, everyone is coming at me as if I'm one of the guys staying.
I'm the dude moving out. My roommates are asking me to throw them 2 months rent. I don't think I am obligated to.
I don't think so.
So legally he doesn't owe it because he's not on the lease, but he's jobbing his buddies for three months rent (assuming he paid July), just because he wants to move out now. Thats a poor decision on his part.
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In comment 12353128 Mike in Long Beach said:
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and he said it was temporary.
Good lord.
JFC lol, everyone is coming at me as if I'm one of the guys staying.
I'm the dude moving out. My roommates are asking me to throw them 2 months rent. I don't think I am obligated to.
Not everyone. A bunch of us saw what you were doing.
I hear you. I was pretty confident I am in the right here... but since theres 5 people 5 disagreeing, I wanted to get an outside opinion to make sure I wasn't just deluding myself and convincing myself that I was correct.
These are very close friends of mine, so I will probably give them one months rent just to make sure we aren't on bad terms. Most of us go all the way back to high school, and the last thing I want to do is strain friendships over money.
Future advice, put shit in writing so there are no issues
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In comment 12353170 Sonic Youth said:
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In comment 12353128 Mike in Long Beach said:
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and he said it was temporary.
Good lord.
JFC lol, everyone is coming at me as if I'm one of the guys staying.
I'm the dude moving out. My roommates are asking me to throw them 2 months rent. I don't think I am obligated to.
Not everyone. A bunch of us saw what you were doing.
I hear you. I was pretty confident I am in the right here... but since theres 5 people 5 disagreeing, I wanted to get an outside opinion to make sure I wasn't just deluding myself and convincing myself that I was correct.
These are very close friends of mine, so I will probably give them one months rent just to make sure we aren't on bad terms. Most of us go all the way back to high school, and the last thing I want to do is strain friendships over money.
Future advice, put shit in writing so there are no issues
Yeah, that's my big takeaway. Even if you're dealing with friends, having things in writing is key.
They've known for a while that I have been looking to move out. This morning, I told them all that I'd be moving out on August 1st (some knew yesterday when I got back from the signing).
Ron, that was pretty much the key to me. If they had someone lined up to move in for the year, and I prevented that person from moving in, I would 100% pay for all of the remaining rent.
However, that wasn't the case.
I suppose the argument could be made that by staying in the room, they inherently couldn't fill it... but to be real, nobody was looking for or seeking a roommate. At no point did they say "we found someone who wants to live here till our lease is up"... and they were going to start off the year with 5 people anyway.
Agree. I gave them a month notice, and have paid for July. But I do not want to pay for August.
I'm not trying to leave them high and dry, or screw anyone over; however, at the same time, I don't want to be on the short end of the stick as well.
No matter how you cut it, you are a jerk if you make them pay anything for your room because you want to move out.
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In comment 12353128 Mike in Long Beach said:
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and he said it was temporary.
Good lord.
JFC lol, everyone is coming at me as if I'm one of the guys staying.
I'm the dude moving out. My roommates are asking me to throw them 2 months rent. I don't think I am obligated to.
Not everyone. A bunch of us saw what you were doing.
Ah okay, I didn't realize you were framing the narrative. So basically all of the positive qualities I thought you were attributing to your opposition are now qualities you were attributing to yourself.
This who thread is disingenuous at best on your part. I wish I picked up on the scent like Big Al and others did. Jokes on me for taking your post at face value.
No matter how you cut it, you are a jerk if you make them pay anything for your room because you want to move out.
I have to concur here. By stating in the beginning that it was temporary in the beginning you implied that you would only be there for a short time. When it exceeded 2-3 months (a reasonable "temporary" time) the other roommates rightfully assumed you were going to be there for the whole year so did not actively look for a replacement roommate and kick you out. Legally you are not obligated to pay but morally I believe you are for exceeding the "temporary" period
Ah okay, I didn't realize you were framing the narrative. So basically all of the positive qualities I thought you were attributing to your opposition are now qualities you were attributing to yourself.
This who thread is disingenuous at best on your part. I wish I picked up on the scent like Big Al and others did. Jokes on me for taking your post at face value.
WTF does this post even mean? Positive qualities?
I laid out the situation using indefinite articles to keep it ambiguous.
I have no idea what "joke" you're referring to, or what you mean by taking the post at "face value".
I'm trying to see what people's opinions are, not argue against them. Which is why I'm not trying go back and forth or defend my point of view from people who disagree with me.
No matter how you cut it, you are a jerk if you make them pay anything for your room because you want to move out.
I was paying rent and utilities, as well as my share for everything of the house. They didn't have anyone to live in that room.
I don't see how staying there when they had nobody to live there is receiving a favor.
The fact that I stayed in the room lowered the rent for everyone.
One thing that I think might be a factor is that the room is not exactly appealing. it's extremely small with no closet, and has the same rent cost as other larger rooms on the floor. The reason I bring this up is because it is not a room that would exactly be easy to fill, especially since my roommates don't want to live with strangers. If I didn't live there, I'm not sure they'd have been able to fill it within a 3 month time frame. In fact, it actually wasn't the room
Another thing... I didn't sneak this on them as a surprise. They knew I was looking to get out of that room, as it's tough to live in.
Again, I am the one moving.
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Everyone knew the situation. You should have tried to add him to the lease again if you wanted security.
Again, I am the one moving.
Jackass, you referred to yourself as "he" throughout your entire OP. This entire thread is absolute bullshit.
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Everyone knew the situation. You should have tried to add him to the lease again if you wanted security.
Again, I am the one moving.
I only read the original post. Either way I guess I'm on your side for a change.
Jackass, you referred to yourself as "he" throughout your entire OP. This entire thread is absolute bullshit.
Hahaha wow. Yeah, no shit I did. i did that because I wasn't trying to make it obvious which person I was in this situation, in order for me to get an OBJECTIVE opinion.
Which is why I said "A group of roommates", not my roommates.
I'm kind of awestruck but your reaction to this extremely simple concept. Ok, so "he" isn't an indefinite article, but you get the fucking point.
If they knew you were looking at apartments or a room elsewhere, then in all reality they were notified at that point, and it shouldn't be a surprise.
The fact that you are giving them 30 days either way is pretty sufficient.
Is there a clause in the lease when they need to notify the landlord if they want to re-up the lease, or if the landlord decides he no longer wants to lease it to them? How much time are they required to give him...Hopefully that timeline works in your favor, but maybe use that as a guide for your notice.
For me, if I have a friend ask to stay and I allow him to stay, I am not going to look for rent from him after he has been paying his portion this long..
If they knew you were looking at apartments or a room elsewhere, then in all reality they were notified at that point, and it shouldn't be a surprise.
The fact that you are giving them 30 days either way is pretty sufficient.
Is there a clause in the lease when they need to notify the landlord if they want to re-up the lease, or if the landlord decides he no longer wants to lease it to them? How much time are they required to give him...Hopefully that timeline works in your favor, but maybe use that as a guide for your notice.
For me, if I have a friend ask to stay and I allow him to stay, I am not going to look for rent from him after he has been paying his portion this long..
Initially, I was looking immediately. My search died down for a while, but picked back up around mid April or maybe late March.
It's definitely not a surprise to any of them. We are all good friends and I've spoken to them about restarting my search, sometimes extensively, for a couple months now at this point. I've had individual conversations with each of them about this.
I'm not trying to throw them under the bus. Whether I pay them the money or not, they're still some of very close friends. But I find that people often lose the ability to see an issue from all angles when money is involved, particularly amongst friends. I know that I'm not immune to this, which is why I wanted to pose my question and see what the general consensus was.
Yeah, I've put up a status on Facebook and am trying to help them fill the room. I know I'm not legally liable, but I don't want to leave anyone hanging.
I don't know if they were really helping me out per se. I already lived there the previous year (albeit in a different room for most of the year), and by staying there, I lowered the rent for everyone else. It worked out for both sides, and I never thought of myself as a charity case, because I could have just gone home at my hometown at any point.
The big thing to me is that I would have never stayed there in any capacity if I was asked to be locked in the entire year. My roommates understand this and aren't even asking for all of the rent - just a couple months.
I don't think, even morally, I'm obligated to give them anything considering the fact they hadn't found someone to live in that room. I might just do it to leave things on a good note, but even if I go that avenue, I'm going to explain my viewpoint to them.
Did the prior tenant of that room also pay an equal share?
And to answer the obvious, yes they could say the same thing, but that is on them and you should only concern yourself with your own conduct and decision making.
Many times when it comes to money and friends there is a grey area and obviously whether to pay through August 1st or pay an additional month (Sept 1st) is the grey area. Take the high road and leave no doubt about your character and offer to pay one additional month so as not to leave any question about leaving them short. It is simply the old "under promise and over deliver" approach that usually will serve you well in any situation in life.
IMO and from my experience if you pay an additional month you will be glad you did and if you don't you will regret it.
They could find a tenant between now and then (but it sounds like they should lower the rent for this room)
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favor to you? The first mistake you guys made is by not putting this stuff in writing so there's no confusion. Have you tried mitigating your damages and helping them find another roommate? You probably don't legally owe them anything because it sounds like they didn't enter the lease based on your action of living there and they knew this was temporary based on your side of the story. However if you want to maintain your friendships you need to help find them another suitable roommate or fork over an extra month's rent. This is just my opinion.
Yeah, I've put up a status on Facebook and am trying to help them fill the room. I know I'm not legally liable, but I don't want to leave anyone hanging.
I don't know if they were really helping me out per se. I already lived there the previous year (albeit in a different room for most of the year), and by staying there, I lowered the rent for everyone else. It worked out for both sides, and I never thought of myself as a charity case, because I could have just gone home at my hometown at any point.
The big thing to me is that I would have never stayed there in any capacity if I was asked to be locked in the entire year. My roommates understand this and aren't even asking for all of the rent - just a couple months.
I don't think, even morally, I'm obligated to give them anything considering the fact they hadn't found someone to live in that room. I might just do it to leave things on a good note, but even if I go that avenue, I'm going to explain my viewpoint to them.
I would suggest putting up an add on Craigslist and have your other roommates be part of the interview and selection process. Be specific on what type of person you are looking for (age/profession/activities). I live in Denver and have found a lot of quality and normal roommates through this process.
Just remember that they view you as the bad guy right now. Even if you feel you aren't. Go the extra mile to help them out.
I hear you. We're all going to talk about it civilly, and we weren't in a room screaming about it. So I do want to make it clear this isn't some sort of full blown gigantic argument. I was just making the post to hear outside opinions on the matter.
They asked me to pay another month and a half to two months (out of the three months left), and I disagreed, but they won't let it get to the point of ruining our friendship even if I don't pay (and neither will I).
I'm going to take Steve's advice and give them something just so there isn't a sour taste in anyone's mouth, and I'm sure we'll find a compromise.
It's just baffling to me that they even thought I would be responsible for any of it, or that I'd be morally obligated to do so.
In terms of my search dying down and assuming that I'd stay there the whole year... I mean I repeatedly stated to them that I wasn't going to live there the whole year, and that I hated my room. In my opinion, it's not really fair for them to assume that I'd stay there all year just because I hadn't moved.
One of the major impetuses for my move was a change in my financial situation that's given me some more flexibility in where I can afford to live. Once I received this financial boost, I decided to immediately begin looking and found a place shortly after.
The one thing that I think might be "more to the story" is that two of the guys (who didn't live with me last year) are saying that they were always told by the other roommates that it would be 6 people, with rent as X.
But these two same individuals knew, when we all started living together, that I was living there temporarily.
So in my eyes, I'm almost like "who was the 6th roommate? You knew I was there temporarily, but you're claiming that the others told you there were 6 roommates. If my housing didn't fall through, who was the 6th person going to be?".
Knowing that I would not be living there all year, but at the same time saying they were told they would be 6 roommates while not having anyone to actually fill the spot once I left makes no sense to me. In my opinion, it's not my fault if the other guys who lived in the house last year told the newer guys that there would be 6 people without actually having 6 people (since I was supposed to have moved out by then).
If the roommates who were already there told the two newer roommates that there were 6 people without having 6 people, I kind of saved their ass for this long.
I definitely do want to help fill the room, but they don't want to live with "complete strangers" and the room sucks (plus its a short amount of time), so it's going to be a hard sell. I'm hoping I can find someone though and just resolve the situation completely for them.
There's two floors with rooms. The second floor has bigger rooms and higher rent. The third floor has smaller rooms and lower rent.
I pay the same as the other two rooms on my floor, but don't have a closet or heater.
He already has a new place.
for sure. I think a bunch of us are going to sands tonight, so I told them if I win money I'm gonna give it to the house :D
If that was understood by your housemates, why are they asking you for moeny now?
If that was understood by your housemates, why are they asking you for moeny now?
nah, not really. I was just living there temporarily until I was able to move out. which was implicitly understood.
The reason they're asking for money is straightforward, to be honest: they don't want their rent increased because they got used to paying more, even though they knew the deal the whole time.
Anyway, it's all sorted out. We're good. I got a text that was pretty much from everyone saying "we love you dude, we'll miss you. its no biggie, lets not talk about it anymore and all hit sands casino tonight. if you can pay something past july that'd be awesome, if not, its no big deal".
So I'm gonna try my hardest to pro-rate a month of rent over the next three months.
Thanks for the input guys, I'll delete this thread soon.
My advice would be to offer to place an ad on craigslist and find a new roomate. That way they don't lose any money. If they rject that, then they are just being a-holes and I would just walk away and not worry about it.