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NFT: Friend is setting you up with a girl: call or text?

Mike in Long Beach : 7/29/2015 11:11 am
A friend of mine thinks I would make a good match with her friend. She talks to the friend, presumably shares a photo of me where I'm not completely hideous, and she provided her phone number to be shared with me.

I get that you're "supposed to call," but what the hell would I say to the girl? I know literally nothing about her besides her name, and I feel like it would just be an awkward conversation.

I'm not self-conscious or nervous about it. I'm comfortable on the phone, but I wonder how comfortable she would be.. and then if she doesn't answer, do I call back? Leave a voicemail???? Weird!

What's the move here? Text to set something up or give her a call?
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This falls into the category of, if you have to ask, you know  
mfsd : 7/29/2015 12:57 pm : link
the answer

Give her a call. Girls these days appreciate it.
Go out with a group of people  
B in ALB : 7/29/2015 1:00 pm : link
and make sure she doesn't have a club foot or webbed feet.

Then when you figure out that she's a wildebeest and you ignore her she knows exactly why.

And of course the opposite of true as well. She might look at you and vomit in her mouth.

No less passive aggressive then texting her.


Or you could just grow a pair, be a man and can her.
Do what Jay said.  
phil in arizona : 7/29/2015 1:00 pm : link
I'd say via text, especially if the girl is in her 20s or early 30s.

In an ideal world, what your friends should have probably done instead of getting/passing you her # was just set up a happy hour with all of you together.
I just find it endlessly amusing that the act of actually speaking to  
Greg from LI : 7/29/2015 1:03 pm : link
someone is considered creepy or aggressive or whatever. Oh no, vocalizations!
.  
arcarsenal : 7/29/2015 1:13 pm : link
I think "scheduling" a time to talk on the phone is just too forced. It's not necessary. You can talk on the phone after you've actually met in person and gotten to at least know each other somewhat. You don't have to text the girl all day long, just set up a time to meet up and hang out.

Like I said, people overthink this shit. Your texting or phone conversation won't matter nearly as much as how you present yourself in person.
This is why the japanese aren't having enough babies  
Torrag : 7/29/2015 1:14 pm : link
Lack of human contact. Too plugged in. Dial the fucking phone already.
Correct way to approach a woman  
Big Al : 7/29/2015 1:15 pm : link
with Tom Brady.
Link - ( New Window )
Tim in Mystic 2015  
NNJ Tom : 7/29/2015 1:24 pm : link
For the record, grow a set and call her.

But a little market research on Facebook is genius.

Honestly, anyone who's saying you should  
732NYG : 7/29/2015 1:32 pm : link
call her is probably not dating girls in the age bracket we're talking about here. Things are different these days, and regardless of whether you're old fashioned, most girls would rather just text, at least to set up a first date. It's less pressure on them, and it's easier because they don't have to take time out to have a phone conversation. It's not being a pussy or lacking confidence, it's just how dating is when you're in your 20s these days. I mean, we have an app specifically designed to get people laid with the least amount of effort, people don't want to talk on the phone. Save the talking for the actual date.
run for about 8 hours straight, real hard  
micky : 7/29/2015 1:34 pm : link
then immediately call her. The heavy breathing should be a good start. (click)
RE: Honestly, anyone who's saying you should  
arcarsenal : 7/29/2015 1:58 pm : link
In comment 12391593 732NYG said:
Quote:
call her is probably not dating girls in the age bracket we're talking about here. Things are different these days, and regardless of whether you're old fashioned, most girls would rather just text, at least to set up a first date. It's less pressure on them, and it's easier because they don't have to take time out to have a phone conversation. It's not being a pussy or lacking confidence, it's just how dating is when you're in your 20s these days. I mean, we have an app specifically designed to get people laid with the least amount of effort, people don't want to talk on the phone. Save the talking for the actual date.


This.

I am 30, I know a lot of girls who are 25-30 years old and this is just how it is now. The majority would be totally fine with a text and probably feel more comfortable that way. Time to think about responses, less pressure, etc. Not saying you have to agree with how times have changed but I am betting most of you guys who are saying "grow a pair" are older and don't know girls in that age bracket right now.

Once you actually meet and know the girl better, sure.. phone conversations are totally normal and in play. But to call blind isn't really necessary.
Mike  
phil in arizona : 7/29/2015 2:00 pm : link
it sounds like you already passed the eye exam. You are most likely in. Shoot her some simple texts like Jay said, toss her a compliment, and then ask to meet you out. It's not rocket science.

People here are advocating that you look her up on FB. I personally wouldn't if you've already seen a few photos of her. She'll most likely look you up and you can say you just aren't into the FB thing and then tease her for being a stalker. But that's just me.

For the older generation, the problem with phone calls is that you might not be saved in the girl's phone, so it'll look like you are a telemarketer. If they do pick up, they might be in an inconvenient situation. They could be driving or at the supermarket.

Some girls might like a guy that calls them a lot, and that's something you can find out over the first few dates. But for this situation, she obviously already likes the way you look, just set up a date and go from there.

Good luck!
Fekker  
dep026 : 7/29/2015 2:18 pm : link
relationship threads are gold.
RE: Fekker  
RC02XX : 7/29/2015 2:41 pm : link
In comment 12391699 dep026 said:
Quote:
relationship threads are gold.


Along with plane crash threads.
RE: RE: Honestly, anyone who's saying you should  
Greg from LI : 7/29/2015 2:45 pm : link
In comment 12391659 arcarsenal said:
Quote:
I am 30, I know a lot of girls who are 25-30 years old and this is just how it is now. The majority would be totally fine with a text and probably feel more comfortable that way. Time to think about responses, less pressure, etc. Not saying you have to agree with how times have changed but I am betting most of you guys who are saying "grow a pair" are older and don't know girls in that age bracket right now.

Once you actually meet and know the girl better, sure.. phone conversations are totally normal and in play. But to call blind isn't really necessary.


I'm not doubting any of that, but it's still fucking bizarre that people are terrified of talking to another human being.
less to do with being terrified to talk to people  
GMenLTS : 7/29/2015 2:48 pm : link
much more to do with the convenience of texting.
RE: RE: RE: Honestly, anyone who's saying you should  
Mike in Long Beach : 7/29/2015 2:48 pm : link
In comment 12391765 Greg from LI said:
Quote:
In comment 12391659 arcarsenal said:


Quote:


I am 30, I know a lot of girls who are 25-30 years old and this is just how it is now. The majority would be totally fine with a text and probably feel more comfortable that way. Time to think about responses, less pressure, etc. Not saying you have to agree with how times have changed but I am betting most of you guys who are saying "grow a pair" are older and don't know girls in that age bracket right now.

Once you actually meet and know the girl better, sure.. phone conversations are totally normal and in play. But to call blind isn't really necessary.



I'm not doubting any of that, but it's still fucking bizarre that people are terrified of talking to another human being.


Agreed, Greg. In fact, I'd prefer to call. Because a conversation has an ebb and flow that makes each response organic. Will there be an awkward moment or two? Probably. But it's better than "Hey X.. A gave me your number.. how's it going?"

Lame. And an over-the-top joke? Too contrived. I'm with you. I just want to pick up the phone... but it's 95% certain no one will answer.
RE: RE: RE: Honestly, anyone who's saying you should  
732NYG : 7/29/2015 2:49 pm : link
In comment 12391765 Greg from LI said:
Quote:
In comment 12391659 arcarsenal said:


Quote:


I am 30, I know a lot of girls who are 25-30 years old and this is just how it is now. The majority would be totally fine with a text and probably feel more comfortable that way. Time to think about responses, less pressure, etc. Not saying you have to agree with how times have changed but I am betting most of you guys who are saying "grow a pair" are older and don't know girls in that age bracket right now.

Once you actually meet and know the girl better, sure.. phone conversations are totally normal and in play. But to call blind isn't really necessary.



I'm not doubting any of that, but it's still fucking bizarre that people are terrified of talking to another human being.


I don't think being terrified really has anything to do with it. You're texting to set up a date under the assumption you're actually going to have to talk to that person on said date. It's more of a convenience thing tbh
I can talk faster than I can type  
Greg from LI : 7/29/2015 2:51 pm : link
Especially on those shitty little virtual keyboards on phones, so I'm not seeing the convenience angle. It's also being said that girls will be "uncomfortable" if he were to call, which belies the idea that it's a matter of convenience, as if the act of speaking is some kind of unwanted familiarity or intrusion.

But that's me - I only text if I'm in situation where I need to remember something (like my wife texting me a list of items to pick up at the store) or when I don't want people around me to hear what I'm saying. Outside of those kinds of situations, texting sucks.
.  
arcarsenal : 7/29/2015 2:54 pm : link
It has absolutely nothing to do with being "terrified".

I text my best friends all the time. People I've known for years. I'm certainly not afraid of talking to them on the phone, I just find it generally unnecessary and inconvenient.

I also grew up in a world where cell phones barely existed so I'm not some kid who had an iPhone in Grade School. I went through all of High School with no cell phone. I called my friends and girlfriends on a landline phone to make plans and hang out regularly. I know what that world is like as well and know both sides of the coin.

Whether he calls or texts this girl will make little to no difference in anything.
RE: RE: Honestly, anyone who's saying you should  
BrettNYG10 : 7/29/2015 2:59 pm : link
In comment 12391659 arcarsenal said:
Quote:
In comment 12391593 732NYG said:


Quote:


call her is probably not dating girls in the age bracket we're talking about here. Things are different these days, and regardless of whether you're old fashioned, most girls would rather just text, at least to set up a first date. It's less pressure on them, and it's easier because they don't have to take time out to have a phone conversation. It's not being a pussy or lacking confidence, it's just how dating is when you're in your 20s these days. I mean, we have an app specifically designed to get people laid with the least amount of effort, people don't want to talk on the phone. Save the talking for the actual date.



This.

I am 30, I know a lot of girls who are 25-30 years old and this is just how it is now. The majority would be totally fine with a text and probably feel more comfortable that way. Time to think about responses, less pressure, etc. Not saying you have to agree with how times have changed but I am betting most of you guys who are saying "grow a pair" are older and don't know girls in that age bracket right now.

Once you actually meet and know the girl better, sure.. phone conversations are totally normal and in play. But to call blind isn't really necessary.


LOL30
RE: run for about 8 hours straight, real hard  
BrettNYG10 : 7/29/2015 2:59 pm : link
In comment 12391600 micky said:
Quote:
then immediately call her. The heavy breathing should be a good start. (click)


My man Micky knows what he's talking about.
RE: I can talk faster than I can type  
732NYG : 7/29/2015 3:01 pm : link
In comment 12391784 Greg from LI said:
Quote:
Especially on those shitty little virtual keyboards on phones, so I'm not seeing the convenience angle. It's also being said that girls will be "uncomfortable" if he were to call, which belies the idea that it's a matter of convenience, as if the act of speaking is some kind of unwanted familiarity or intrusion.

But that's me - I only text if I'm in situation where I need to remember something (like my wife texting me a list of items to pick up at the store) or when I don't want people around me to hear what I'm saying. Outside of those kinds of situations, texting sucks.


When was the last time you dated a 25 year old girl? When was the last time you were 25? You're giving your opinion on a demographic of which you know little about. Nobody is terrified, you're just out of touch with how it is to date in your 20s in 2015.
my female friends tell me all the time, greg  
GMenLTS : 7/29/2015 3:02 pm : link
they honestly find it weird when a guy calls first with no initiating text. I can't explain it nor do I care to understand it. It's 21st century girl logic. I just adapted, fuck trying to figure it out.

They like having the time to think through responses and/or ignore/play hard to get, at will.

I still prefer to call a girl up because my sarcastic wit doesn't always come through well on a text. But fortunately I think I've finally found a keeper so I need not deal with any of that crap anymore.

Also, speaking of texting, kids today, they'll never understand what texting used to be like..

RE: RE: RE: Honestly, anyone who's saying you should  
arcarsenal : 7/29/2015 3:03 pm : link
In comment 12391807 BrettNYG10 said:
Quote:
In comment 12391659 arcarsenal said:


Quote:


In comment 12391593 732NYG said:


Quote:


call her is probably not dating girls in the age bracket we're talking about here. Things are different these days, and regardless of whether you're old fashioned, most girls would rather just text, at least to set up a first date. It's less pressure on them, and it's easier because they don't have to take time out to have a phone conversation. It's not being a pussy or lacking confidence, it's just how dating is when you're in your 20s these days. I mean, we have an app specifically designed to get people laid with the least amount of effort, people don't want to talk on the phone. Save the talking for the actual date.



This.

I am 30, I know a lot of girls who are 25-30 years old and this is just how it is now. The majority would be totally fine with a text and probably feel more comfortable that way. Time to think about responses, less pressure, etc. Not saying you have to agree with how times have changed but I am betting most of you guys who are saying "grow a pair" are older and don't know girls in that age bracket right now.

Once you actually meet and know the girl better, sure.. phone conversations are totally normal and in play. But to call blind isn't really necessary.



LOL30


Are you inviting me to your Sweet16 this year or what? Don't leave me out.
Just remember...  
B in ALB : 7/29/2015 3:06 pm : link
You're in!  
BrettNYG10 : 7/29/2015 3:06 pm : link
Next Friday!

Btw, LTS - good looks on Iliza Schlesinger (sp?). Watched both specials last weekendd.
RE: Just remember...  
BrettNYG10 : 7/29/2015 3:08 pm : link
In comment 12391828 B in ALB said:
Quote:


BBI ads are based on your personal search history.
Using a phone as a phone  
Enoch : 7/29/2015 3:15 pm : link
is so 2005.
Link - ( New Window )
RE: RE: Just remember...  
B in ALB : 7/29/2015 3:17 pm : link
In comment 12391833 BrettNYG10 said:
Quote:
In comment 12391828 B in ALB said:


Quote:






BBI ads are based on your personal search history.


I was just trying to help anak out.
RE: You're in!  
GMenLTS : 7/29/2015 3:18 pm : link
In comment 12391830 BrettNYG10 said:
Quote:
Next Friday!

Btw, LTS - good looks on Iliza Schlesinger (sp?). Watched both specials last weekendd.


Nice, which one did you like better? I tend to prefer War Paint
I liked War Paint a bit better as well.  
BrettNYG10 : 7/29/2015 3:22 pm : link
I regret not seeing her a couple months ago when she was in the city. Sure she'll be around again. I like her a lot now.
RE: RE: I can talk faster than I can type  
RC02XX : 7/29/2015 3:24 pm : link
In comment 12391813 732NYG said:
Quote:
In comment 12391784 Greg from LI said:


Quote:


Especially on those shitty little virtual keyboards on phones, so I'm not seeing the convenience angle. It's also being said that girls will be "uncomfortable" if he were to call, which belies the idea that it's a matter of convenience, as if the act of speaking is some kind of unwanted familiarity or intrusion.

But that's me - I only text if I'm in situation where I need to remember something (like my wife texting me a list of items to pick up at the store) or when I don't want people around me to hear what I'm saying. Outside of those kinds of situations, texting sucks.



When was the last time you dated a 25 year old girl? When was the last time you were 25? You're giving your opinion on a demographic of which you know little about. Nobody is terrified, you're just out of touch with how it is to date in your 20s in 2015.


Even when Greg was in his 20's he was out of touch with others in their 20's. Let's get that straight.
RE: RE: I can talk faster than I can type  
Greg from LI : 7/29/2015 3:25 pm : link
In comment 12391813 732NYG said:
Quote:
When was the last time you dated a 25 year old girl? When was the last time you were 25? You're giving your opinion on a demographic of which you know little about. Nobody is terrified, you're just out of touch with how it is to date in your 20s in 2015.


Aw man, I'm sorry - didn't mean to trigger you, sweetie.
HAH!  
Greg from LI : 7/29/2015 3:25 pm : link
Ronnie gets me.
Yea I'm pissed I missed that as well  
GMenLTS : 7/29/2015 3:27 pm : link
me and the gf are gonna try and go down to Baltimore to see her, I think it's in early november.

RE: RE: RE: I can talk faster than I can type  
GMenLTS : 7/29/2015 3:28 pm : link
In comment 12391887 RC02XX said:
Quote:
In comment 12391813 732NYG said:


Quote:


In comment 12391784 Greg from LI said:


Quote:


Especially on those shitty little virtual keyboards on phones, so I'm not seeing the convenience angle. It's also being said that girls will be "uncomfortable" if he were to call, which belies the idea that it's a matter of convenience, as if the act of speaking is some kind of unwanted familiarity or intrusion.

But that's me - I only text if I'm in situation where I need to remember something (like my wife texting me a list of items to pick up at the store) or when I don't want people around me to hear what I'm saying. Outside of those kinds of situations, texting sucks.



When was the last time you dated a 25 year old girl? When was the last time you were 25? You're giving your opinion on a demographic of which you know little about. Nobody is terrified, you're just out of touch with how it is to date in your 20s in 2015.



Even when Greg was in his 20's he was out of touch with others in their 20's. Let's get that straight.


Yea this is probably truth.
RE: HAH!  
RC02XX : 7/29/2015 3:28 pm : link
In comment 12391892 Greg from LI said:
Quote:
Ronnie gets me.


I don't get you. NO ONE GETS YOU!

You're an enigma wrapped in a mystery shrouded in darkness behind a lead wall. NO ONE GETS YOU.
Well, you think what you want about me  
Greg from LI : 7/29/2015 3:31 pm : link
I'm not changing because I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me, because I'm the genuine article. What you see is what you get.
RE: RE: RE: I can talk faster than I can type  
732NYG : 7/29/2015 3:37 pm : link
In comment 12391890 Greg from LI said:
Quote:
In comment 12391813 732NYG said:


Quote:


When was the last time you dated a 25 year old girl? When was the last time you were 25? You're giving your opinion on a demographic of which you know little about. Nobody is terrified, you're just out of touch with how it is to date in your 20s in 2015.



Aw man, I'm sorry - didn't mean to trigger you, sweetie.


Haha seriously? What in my post implied that I was upset? You don't have to get all butt hurt because I pointed out the obvious.
RE: Well, you think what you want about me  
Mike in Long Beach : 7/29/2015 3:57 pm : link
In comment 12391913 Greg from LI said:
Quote:
I'm not changing because I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me, because I'm the genuine article. What you see is what you get.


oh come on  
Greg from LI : 7/29/2015 3:59 pm : link
It's not a damn Stuart Smalley quote - I have better taste than that.
Haha I missed that you were actually quoting something  
Mike in Long Beach : 7/29/2015 4:02 pm : link
I thought that was just you... I'm glad you were.

But yeah, Trains, Planes & Automobiles (and no I didn't look it up!)
being a man (and more importantly a gentleman)  
Victor in CT : 7/29/2015 4:05 pm : link
never goes out of style. If you're so worried about how "everybody else" does it in 2015, you've already lost. Grow a pair and take charge.
RE: Haha I missed that you were actually quoting something  
Victor in CT : 7/29/2015 4:05 pm : link
In comment 12392015 Mike in Long Beach said:
Quote:
I thought that was just you... I'm glad you were.

But yeah, Trains, Planes & Automobiles (and no I didn't look it up!)


Those were not PILLOWS!!
Haha, This thread is great.  
BeerFridge : 7/29/2015 4:11 pm : link
My advice: Do whatever is most comfortable with the confidence that a) you will be less likely to fuck it up for being nervous that way and b) whatever choice you make will have a marginal at best effect on the outcome of this potential romantic pairing. You two will either like each other and be attracted to each other or you won't.
I mean  
Greg from LI : 7/29/2015 4:14 pm : link
When I started reading the vomit bag didn't that give you a clue that, hey, maybe this guy isn't interested?
Whatever you do  
B in ALB : 7/29/2015 4:17 pm : link
Don't let her know you're the FEKer on bbi.
Pictures  
Beer Man : 7/29/2015 8:45 pm : link
or GTFO!
Shit...  
Modus Operandi : 7/30/2015 1:33 am : link
If there anything better than a Fekker thread on women? Maybe a Rich in Houston thread on Astrophysics?

These are a few of my favorite things!
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