A friend of mine thinks I would make a good match with her friend. She talks to the friend, presumably shares a photo of me where I'm not completely hideous, and she provided her phone number to be shared with me.
I get that you're "supposed to call," but what the hell would I say to the girl? I know literally nothing about her besides her name, and I feel like it would just be an awkward conversation.
I'm not self-conscious or nervous about it. I'm comfortable on the phone, but I wonder how comfortable she would be.. and then if she doesn't answer, do I call back? Leave a voicemail???? Weird!
What's the move here? Text to set something up or give her a call?
My sense of humor is well in tact thanks, I couldn't figure out if you were seriously thinking I was gender confused or not.
Moving on indeed
'Nak gives nips, not tips in his videos.
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You're overthinking it
JonC : 11:15 am : link : reply
Call her, don't text her, set a good precedent from the start. Don't overthink it, just be positive and keep the convo light and let it breathe.
Call her and breathe into the phone.
Another good one!
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In comment 12391232 JonC said:
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you never disappoint!
Lyle, I was gonna suggest posting that!
It was either that or suggest fekker make a youtube video tribute!
I vote for this.
'Nak, any tips?
Shirtless and talk about Kimye. You can't go wrong.
There's this impression of people my age, that we are too soft or ironic or afraid to pick up the phone and ask a girl out. Now I say this from a position of humility and without bravado, because if I like a girl, I could definitely become a stuttering nancy boy to this day...
But calling a stranger on the phone? Not a fear. I'd be happy to and would prefer to call. But for anyone who's seen the trailer for Trainwreck (or the film itself), there's a joke in it that's very accurate. When Bill Hader calls Amy Schumer, and the friend is like "I'm calling the police!"
Many, if not the majority of girls do not want you calling them early on, making "the right move" murky.
And finally, for the love of God, I'm definitely not taking this seriously :D
'omgz becky, your friend you just tried to set me up with just randomly called me to hang out/talk/blah/blah, it was sooo awkward lol, what kind of weirdo are you trying to set me up with? He could have just not been weird and just texted me...'
Don't hurt yourself trying to understand the logic, it just is. This is what we deal with these days.
That's a good point. I guess I will always believe that if the guy is confident and well spoken the conversation and her impression of it wouldn't be as you described but have the opposite effect. However your point is a good one and maybe being likable and well spoken on the phone with a girl is a lost art because of technology and the safer route for many is texting.
Also, this post is amazing because I legitimately can't tell if it's for real.
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either through your friend's facebook, her phone number, or her name. Then see what some of her interests from there.
Also, this post is amazing because I legitimately can't tell if it's for real.
Oh c'mon, don't act like you didn't already check out her Facebook to see if you even want to go on a date with this girl.
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either through your friend's facebook, her phone number, or her name. Then see what some of her interests from there.
Also, this post is amazing because I legitimately can't tell if it's for real.
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In comment 12391228 madgiantscow009 said:
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either through your friend's facebook, her phone number, or her name. Then see what some of her interests from there.
Also, this post is amazing because I legitimately can't tell if it's for real.
Oh c'mon, don't act like you didn't already check out her Facebook to see if you even want to go on a date with this girl.
Haha, I definitely did, yes... I was more referring to the idea of using her interests for conversation material.
So, what do you think of the shows Glee, Pretty Little Liars and The Bachelorette. "Oh my God, they're my 3 favorites!"
Checking Facbeook for anything more than pictures is weird to me lol
This is a set up, it's not like you have to even spit some text game. Just a quick light intro and you ask to grab a drink or whatever. Save it for the main event. This is an open and shut case.
Also, one more piece of advice. The most important thing with women is that you are confident. It doesn't matter what anyone else says, do what you will be most comfortable with so you put your best foot forward.
Yes texting is the "right" thing to do here as in you have the highest chance of succeeding in getting the date but that shouldn't be your goal. Your goal should be being with someone that you match well with, so regardless of what gives you the best chance you should be yourself. You don't want to spend a second being someone you are not, the best case scenario is that you "win" her and one day your true self comes through and you sold her on a false bill of goods.
I get that the guys who are 40+ think calling is more appropriate because the generation prior to this one and every one before that, it was the only way and that's just how it was.
Girls in their 20's (I'm assuming this girl is in her late 20's?) would probably rather you text them anyway.
I mean, if you're good on the phone and not super weird you can call her but I feel like randomly calling a girl you don't know or "setting up a time" to call her is weird and uncomfortable.
Make it 4. I wanna know who this girl is!
However, the youngsters seem to have an aversion to spoken words. calling someone up is a weird phenomenon.
if you have to ask which, you're probably lacking confidence, and lacking confidence is the number one reason people don't get laid, er, dates.
but you're not randomly calling up some girl. your friend has set you up. she's willing, you're willing. to meet. if the mode of communication kills the deal, there was no future anyway.
I used to get int to these long and often great conversations. What I found was that I would make a mental image of the person that absolutely could have no relationship to reality -- yet another hurdle to overcome in meeting someone in this semi-awkward arrangement to begin with. So I keep the into call very short (not rude, of course).
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Give her a call. Girls these days appreciate it.
Then when you figure out that she's a wildebeest and you ignore her she knows exactly why.
And of course the opposite of true as well. She might look at you and vomit in her mouth.
No less passive aggressive then texting her.
Or you could just grow a pair, be a man and can her.
In an ideal world, what your friends should have probably done instead of getting/passing you her # was just set up a happy hour with all of you together.
Like I said, people overthink this shit. Your texting or phone conversation won't matter nearly as much as how you present yourself in person.
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But a little market research on Facebook is genius.
This.
I am 30, I know a lot of girls who are 25-30 years old and this is just how it is now. The majority would be totally fine with a text and probably feel more comfortable that way. Time to think about responses, less pressure, etc. Not saying you have to agree with how times have changed but I am betting most of you guys who are saying "grow a pair" are older and don't know girls in that age bracket right now.
Once you actually meet and know the girl better, sure.. phone conversations are totally normal and in play. But to call blind isn't really necessary.
People here are advocating that you look her up on FB. I personally wouldn't if you've already seen a few photos of her. She'll most likely look you up and you can say you just aren't into the FB thing and then tease her for being a stalker. But that's just me.
For the older generation, the problem with phone calls is that you might not be saved in the girl's phone, so it'll look like you are a telemarketer. If they do pick up, they might be in an inconvenient situation. They could be driving or at the supermarket.
Some girls might like a guy that calls them a lot, and that's something you can find out over the first few dates. But for this situation, she obviously already likes the way you look, just set up a date and go from there.
Good luck!
Along with plane crash threads.
Once you actually meet and know the girl better, sure.. phone conversations are totally normal and in play. But to call blind isn't really necessary.
I'm not doubting any of that, but it's still fucking bizarre that people are terrified of talking to another human being.
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I am 30, I know a lot of girls who are 25-30 years old and this is just how it is now. The majority would be totally fine with a text and probably feel more comfortable that way. Time to think about responses, less pressure, etc. Not saying you have to agree with how times have changed but I am betting most of you guys who are saying "grow a pair" are older and don't know girls in that age bracket right now.
Once you actually meet and know the girl better, sure.. phone conversations are totally normal and in play. But to call blind isn't really necessary.
I'm not doubting any of that, but it's still fucking bizarre that people are terrified of talking to another human being.
Agreed, Greg. In fact, I'd prefer to call. Because a conversation has an ebb and flow that makes each response organic. Will there be an awkward moment or two? Probably. But it's better than "Hey X.. A gave me your number.. how's it going?"
Lame. And an over-the-top joke? Too contrived. I'm with you. I just want to pick up the phone... but it's 95% certain no one will answer.
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I am 30, I know a lot of girls who are 25-30 years old and this is just how it is now. The majority would be totally fine with a text and probably feel more comfortable that way. Time to think about responses, less pressure, etc. Not saying you have to agree with how times have changed but I am betting most of you guys who are saying "grow a pair" are older and don't know girls in that age bracket right now.
Once you actually meet and know the girl better, sure.. phone conversations are totally normal and in play. But to call blind isn't really necessary.
I'm not doubting any of that, but it's still fucking bizarre that people are terrified of talking to another human being.
I don't think being terrified really has anything to do with it. You're texting to set up a date under the assumption you're actually going to have to talk to that person on said date. It's more of a convenience thing tbh
But that's me - I only text if I'm in situation where I need to remember something (like my wife texting me a list of items to pick up at the store) or when I don't want people around me to hear what I'm saying. Outside of those kinds of situations, texting sucks.
I text my best friends all the time. People I've known for years. I'm certainly not afraid of talking to them on the phone, I just find it generally unnecessary and inconvenient.
I also grew up in a world where cell phones barely existed so I'm not some kid who had an iPhone in Grade School. I went through all of High School with no cell phone. I called my friends and girlfriends on a landline phone to make plans and hang out regularly. I know what that world is like as well and know both sides of the coin.
Whether he calls or texts this girl will make little to no difference in anything.
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call her is probably not dating girls in the age bracket we're talking about here. Things are different these days, and regardless of whether you're old fashioned, most girls would rather just text, at least to set up a first date. It's less pressure on them, and it's easier because they don't have to take time out to have a phone conversation. It's not being a pussy or lacking confidence, it's just how dating is when you're in your 20s these days. I mean, we have an app specifically designed to get people laid with the least amount of effort, people don't want to talk on the phone. Save the talking for the actual date.
This.
I am 30, I know a lot of girls who are 25-30 years old and this is just how it is now. The majority would be totally fine with a text and probably feel more comfortable that way. Time to think about responses, less pressure, etc. Not saying you have to agree with how times have changed but I am betting most of you guys who are saying "grow a pair" are older and don't know girls in that age bracket right now.
Once you actually meet and know the girl better, sure.. phone conversations are totally normal and in play. But to call blind isn't really necessary.
LOL30
My man Micky knows what he's talking about.