Favorite scene(s) from comedies

In comment 12972501 Dirt1 said:

Quote:

Pinto's Conscience (Devil): Fuck her! Fuck her brains out! Suck her tits. Squeeze her buns. You know she wants it. Pinto's Conscience (Angel): For Shame! Lawrence I'm surprised at you. Pinto's Conscience (Devil): Ah! Don't listen to that Jackoff. Look at those gazongas. You'll never get a better chance. Pinto's Conscience (Angel): If you lay one hand on poor sweet, helpless girl, you'll despise yourself forever. [Pinto then covers Clorette up.] Pinto's Conscience (Angel): I'm proud of you, Lawrence. Pinto's Conscience (Devil): You Homo!

The first few dozen times I saw Animal House I couldn't even hear this dialogue because the audience was laughing so loud. I don't think I ever heard the full scene until the video came out.

I'd have to say though that the funniest scene was the Delta's grade point averages/ Flounder throwing up in Dean Wormer

Who's on First, 7 x 13 = 28, The Dice Game, Two Tens for a Five, and of course...
The Susquehanna Hat Co. - ( New Window )

Old School,
Frank (Will Ferrell): "We're streaking, we're streaking".
Frank's wife: "who's streaking"?
Frank: "Everybody"

or the toast to Will's wedding by Mitch (Luke Wilson): ""True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend…"

Wedding Crashers,
Jeremy Grey (Vince Vaughn): "Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye."

Vacation, (I'm paraphrasing here)
Clark Griswald (Chevy Chase) buying a car, "I distinctly ordered the arctic blue super sports wagon"
Salesman: "what, you didn't order metallic pea?"
Clark: "This isn't even the right model"
Salesman: "This is a damn fine automobile"
Clark: "look, I'm not your ordinary everyday fool. I know what I ordered and I'm not taking this car, where's my old car?"
{{!Crash! as old car is being destroyed}}
Salesman: "I'm just as upset about this as you are. Truth is, this model here is just the automobile you want to take across country. If you think you hate it now, just wait til you drive it...(I died laughing at that line)

Dumb and Dumber,
After trading the dog van for a mini-bike:
"Just when I think you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do somethin' like this -- and totally redeem yourself!"

or

- "What's the chances you would ever go out with a man like me"
- "About 1 in a million"
- YEAH...so you're telling me there's a chance

or after the cop drinks from a bottle of piss
- "Care for a tic tac??"

-------------------------

If I went on with Christmas Vacation, it would take me all day as I'd have to quote the whole friggin movie. Funniest movie in history as far as I'm concerned

Pet Detective
Ace Ventura being threatened by Lois Einhorn at the police station:

Louis: "How would you like me to make your life a living hell?"
Ace: "Well...thanks Lois, but I'm already in a relationship."

City Slickers
The scene in which Phil's wife finds out he's screwing a girl from the grocery store while at Mitch's 40th Birthday Party at his house:

[door bell rings - answers door - Nancy standing there]

Phil Berquist: Nancy, what are you doing here, shouldn't you be at the store?

Nancy: I'm late"

Phil Berquist: What do you mean you're late?

Nancy: I missed my period!

Arlene Berquist: Why is she telling you this... Phil?

Phil Berquist: Because... because I'm her boss! And... we... we have a health plan!

Arlene Berquist: You son of a bitch - you screwed this little girl in my father's store?

Phil Berquist: No... no! No!

Nancy: It was in his car! And I'm not a little girl; I'm twenty.

Arlene Berquist: Get out of this house, you little whore.

Phil Berquist: Hey! I will not permit you to talk to her that way.

Arlene Berquist: Fine. I'll tell my father what you did!

Phil Berquist: Don't you call Mister Levine! Hey! Give me that phone...

[struggles to take the phone from her]

Arlene Berquist: You're crazy!

Phil Berquist: That's right - not having sex for TWELVE YEARS will do that to a person!

[she breaks the phone]

Arlene Berquist: I'll call from the bedroom.

Phil Berquist: The bedroom? How the hell would you know where the bedroom is?

Arlene Berquist: I'm calling...

Phil Berquist: Go ahead, call him - I'm sure he's home. It's his night to meet with the other escaped Nazis!

Arlene Berquist: I hate you!

Phil Berquist: I hate you more; if hate were people, I'd be China!

Mitch Robbins: [awkward pause] Let's bring out the cake!

is the best part of that dialog. LOL, who calls their father-in-law Mr.

"Its all ball bearings these days"

Kentucky Fried Movie and Don't be a Menace to South Central while Drinking your Juice in the Hood.

Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein

Lon Chaney Jr. "You see when the sun goes down and the moon comes up I turn into a wolf."

Lou Costello "You and 20 million other guys."

Blazing Saddles

Among many
"Hey, where all the white women at?"

4 Weddings and a Funeral

Chick flicks seem to be permitted

The second wedding. "Do you take this woman as your awfully wedded wife?" "In the name of the father and the son and the holy spiggot.."

(When his films still made a little sense) I loved the line and scene where after stealing some invaluable piece of art from one century the time bandits jump backwards 100 years and claim: "fantastic! Try that in a court if law!"
Try THAT in a court of law... - ( New Window )

Ace Ventura When Nature Calls

Shikaka

Shiskabob
Shawshank Redemption
Chicago

You're Out of Here. Go On. Get Out. Go.

In comment 12972425 B in ALB said:
[quote]

To me, the funniest scene in that or any movie was the scene in which Steve Martin has to keep pretending his legs are lifeless while Michael Caine as a fake doctor is examining him for the benefit of the girl they're both trying to con, and who's called Caine to help the "paralytic" Martin. Caine knows he has him dead to rights and escalates his torture and Martin holds in his pain. As a comedy writer, the comedy of the scene comes from the audience knowing what the girl doesn't know, i.e., the charade between Caine and Martin. Hysterical through and through.

with Jim Carrey not being able to tell a lie, so he rips each and every one of the board members unmercifully during a meeting

Rex Cramer vs. Airport Missionaries. It so great that it's Robert Stack doing the stunts.
Airplane Missionaries - ( New Window )

Old School - when Will Ferrell takes a tranquilizer gun to neck and falls into pool. And then comes out and gives tongue when he is given mouth-to-mouth by a guy. Tremendous.

Wedding Crashers - whole movie is strong but love the midnight rape scene and then Jeremy describing it next morning over brunch. And really any scene with Sack (Bradley Cooper) is great...strong performance.

In comment 12972566 mgreenie03 said:

Quote:

So many in that movie. You guys are the worst bounty hunters Ive ever seen.

Another classic!

Hank contract two twenties, check me out. Do the litmus configuration.

Have you seen any suspicious looking individuals around here?

No, sir.

Do you live around here?

Fletch - scenes at country club playing tennis. Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a water buffalo? Hey doc, do you have the whole fist up there?

Animal House - fraternity/court room scene - we're not going to sit here and listen to you bad mouth the United States of America. Flounder - face it..you fuk'd up...you trusted us. We need the dues.

In comment 12972956 TheBigBlueOne said:

Quote:

Rex Cramer vs. Airport Missionaries. It so great that it's Robert Stack doing the stunts. Airplane Missionaries - ( New Window )

Scientologyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

mean anything to you?

- Interview Training: "some days you win, some days you lose, some days it rains...think about that."

- "Candlesticks always make a nice gift, and maybe you could find out where she's registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern...Okay, let's get two!"

- Crash: "Why are you shaking me off?"
Ebby Clavin: "I want to give him the heat and announce my presence with authority!"

- Coach: "You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry..."
Larry: "Lollygaggers!"

In comment 12972960 Jimmy Googs said:

Quote:

Old School - when Will Ferrell takes a tranquilizer gun to neck and falls into pool. And then comes out and gives tongue when he is given mouth-to-mouth by a guy. Tremendous.

Oh yeah...that was funny. Another scene that made me roar was when he was at the shrink's office for marital counseling with his wife and was told it was a "safe place...you can say anything". So he babbles on about being at a restaurant and wondering what kind of underwear the waitress is wearing. There is no such thing as a safe zone to say such stupid shit in front of your wife if you wish to stay married..lol

The name's Francis Soyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you.

Hitchhiker: No! No, no, not 6! I said 7. Nobody's comin' up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes? You won't even get your heart goin, not even a mouse on a wheel.
Ted: That - good point.
Hitchhiker: 7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 doors. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.
Ted: Why?
Hitchhiker: 'Cause you're fuckin' fired!
-----------------------------

At Police headquarters:

Ted: "I'm telling you, I did not solicit sex! I was just stopping to go the bathroom, next thing I know I tripped over something - well someone - and, poof, there's cops and lights and ..."

Detective Stabler: "Okay, calm down, Ted, we believe you. The problem is we found your friend in the car."

Ted: "Oh. The hitchhiker. That's what this is all about. Isn't that just my luck - I get caught for everything."

Detective Krevoy: "So you admit it?"

Ted: "Guilty as charged. I'm not gonna play games with you. I could give you a song and dance but what's the point? I did it and we all know it. The hitcher himself told me it's illegal. The irony."

Detective Krevoy: "Well, uh, can you tell us his name?
Ted: Jeez, I didn't catch it."

Detective Stabler: "So he was a stranger? It was totally random?"

Ted: "He was the first hitcher I saw, what can I tell you? Now cut to the chase, how much trouble am I in?"

Detective Stabler: "First tell us why you did it."

Ted: "Why I did it? I don't know. Boredom? I thought I was doing the guy a favor."

Detective Krevoy: "This wasn't your first time, was it, Ted? How many we talking?"

Ted: "Hitchhikers? I don't know - 50... 100 maybe - Who keeps track? Hey, I know this is the Bible Belt, but where I come from this is not that big a deal."

Detective Krevoy: "You son of a bitch! You're gonna fry!"

[then slams Ted's face into the table]...lmao

Susan: A real woman could stop you from drinking.

Arthur: It'd have to be a real BIG woman.

"I'm listening to the fucking song!"
Pre-Game Brawl - Slap Shot (7/10) Movie CLIP (1977) HD - ( New Window )

When the monster meets the blind man (Gene Hackman). The blind man pours soup in the monster's lap, breaks his mug when they toast each other and the blind man lights the monster's thumb on fire instead of the cigar he gave him. Hilarious scene!

Come back! I was going to make espresso.

Rodney ripped his way through the dinner at the country club dumping and insulting everyone

staying with the old Jewish couple.

Frank takes a leak.
Link - ( New Window )

Just give me a sign -
Link - ( New Window )

In comment 12972996 Shirk130 said:

Quote:

The name's Francis Soyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you.

One of the funniest movies of all time
"C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like going into Wisconsin."

"Well I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it!"

In comment 12973008 TheBigBlueOne said:

Quote:

"I'm listening to the fucking song!" Pre-Game Brawl - Slap Shot (7/10) Movie CLIP (1977) HD - ( New Window )

haha Slapshot was like a machine gun of classic scenes!
"I got a good deal on those boys. The scouts said they showed a lot of promise."
"They brought their fuckin' TOYS with 'em!"

"Well, I'd rather have em playin with their toys than playin with themselves"
"They're too dumb to play with themselves!"

NSFW.
PROFANITY.
Harry and Ken - ( New Window )

"The Great Race".......what happened between Max and Professor Fate, throughout the movie was hilarious.....

At the start of the race Max booby traps the opposing cars....

Professor Fate: What's next?
Max: Car number five, the engine falls out!
Professor Fate: Car number five! Ha ha ha ha!
[beat]
Professor Fate: Er, Max... *we're* number five.



This always cracks me up from My Big fat Greek Wedding:

"What do you mean you don't eat no meat.... that's ok, I make lamb."

Groucho: That clause is in every contract. That's a sanity clause.

Chico: Oh, no. You can't fool me. There's no such thing as Sanity Claus,

In the movie "The Gods Must Be Crazy," the scene where the Bushman, who knows nothing about civilization, drives the jeep while standing on the hood of the car, in front of the steering wheel.

in the 1966 movie "The Wrong Box," the set of scenes where the prior schoolboys who are involved in a bet to see who stays alive longest all die, save two. That section of movie is linked.
Link - ( New Window )

.
Let's party - ( New Window )

Amazed no one has mentioned it.

"Brick killed a guy . . . did you throw a trident???"

There's millennials out there who use "Boy, that escalated quickly" as a meme, and have never actually seen the movie. It's classic.

RE: Planes, Trains & Automobiles:
I Love Clams Casino : 11:14 am : link : reply
In comment 12972157 Chris684 said:
Quote:


The Cable Guy: The morning after the party when Carrey tells him about the prostitute.


Agreed....great scene

Also The Frozen Dog Snarling in the back of the Pick Up

Are you saying Jesus Christ can't hit a curve ball?

.

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. My wife and I saw it originally approximately 52 years ago. We both left the Theater with pain in our sides.

When he goes on that southern Maury Povich show with the African American adopted baby who he names 'OJ'.

In comment 12973008 TheBigBlueOne said:

Quote:

"I'm listening to the fucking song!" Pre-Game Brawl - Slap Shot (7/10) Movie CLIP (1977) HD - ( New Window )

I thought the fashion show was even funnier. "Everybody but my wife is going to be running for the exits."
Link - ( New Window )

but side slappin funny IMHO

Big Bang Theory

Leslie Winkle: "Listen, neither of us are neuroscientists, but we both understand the biochemistry of sex. I mean, dopamine in our brains is released across synapses, causing pleasure. You stick electrodes in a rat's brain, give him an orgasm button, he'll push that thing until he starves to death."

Leonard Hostetler: "Well, who wouldn't?"

but this piano duet between Harpo and Chico Marx is one of the funniest clips I've seen.
Link - ( New Window )

Christopher Walken (SNL)

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/the-continental/2869241

The scebne which DeVito answers the phone:

The following: DeVito is talking to a cop about being ruthless.

DeVito answers-- "Hello?"
He answers. The person on the other line asks for Debbie. DeVito doesn't know Debbie.

DeVito asks "Debbie?" He waits for the confirming reply. Then it goes as follows:

"Yeah Debbie's here. Who's this?"

"Well Ralph, Debbie can't talk right now. My dyck's in her mouth." (quick pause) "How about if I have her call you back when I'm done?"

He slams down the phone.

"I love wrong numbers."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruYwQzps33M



--------
Favorite scene in a movie. Monty Python and The Dark Knight.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eMkth8FWno

favorite TV scenes:

Super Dave Osborne Most Famous Fall

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTxiW3DRb3E

Fire Marshall Bill at School

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIZLsOtUpJM

In comment 12974660 giantstock said:

Quote:

The scebne which DeVito answers the phone: The following: DeVito is talking to a cop about being ruthless. DeVito answers-- "Hello?" He answers. The person on the other line asks for Debbie. DeVito doesn't know Debbie. DeVito asks "Debbie?" He waits for the confirming reply. Then it goes as follows: "Yeah Debbie's here. Who's this?" "Well Ralph, Debbie can't talk right now. My dyck's in her mouth." (quick pause) "How about if I have her call you back when I'm done?" He slams down the phone. "I love wrong numbers." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruYwQzps33M -------- Favorite scene in a movie. Monty Python and The Dark Knight. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eMkth8FWno favorite TV scenes: Super Dave Osborne Most Famous Fall https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTxiW3DRb3E Fire Marshall Bill at School https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIZLsOtUpJM

Supposed to be Monty Python and the Black Knight.

Not the "Dark Knight."