Favorite scene(s) from comedies

"Never trust a Sicilian when death is on the line!"

was it over when the German's bombed Pearl Harbor?

Serpentine!!

I agree that the "When Harry Met Sally" scene you mentioned was awesome. I also love the scene at a Giants game when Harry tells Jess about his wife sleeping with an accountant.

Opening scene for "Office Space" is also awesome when Michael Bolton is listening to gangsta rap in his car.

Chicken?

Dennis the Constitutional peasant
I'm 37. I'm not old. - ( New Window )

It's so hard to cut it down to just one or two, but if I must....the rental counter scene in Planes Trains and Automobiles. Runner up - when Vinny arrives in prison and interviews Stan in My Cousin Vinny.

She turned me into a newt!
A Newt?
I got better

Steve Martin rental car scene.

The Cable Guy: The morning after the party when Carrey tells him about the prostitute.

Grumpy Old Men: Any scene with Burgess Meredith.

Vegas Vacation: Clark and Eddie digging up cash and going to the "casino".

Uncle Buck: When the clown comes the front door.

Pretty much anything Peter Sellers or Mel Brooks.

The Inquisition in History of the World probably tops my list.

when Michael Cain whips Steve Martin's shins with a stick and he has to pretend to not feel a thing
link - ( New Window )

The Elephant Scene

In comment 12972157 Chris684 said:

Quote:

The Cable Guy: The morning after the party when Carrey tells him about the prostitute.

Agreed....great scene

The end of the first Pink Panther, when Clouseau is being driven away in the police car. He's been successfully framed for the Phantom heists, his wife has left him and helped set him up.....now he's sitting morosely on his way to prison when the police guards note jealously how he has so many female admirers. And Clouseau, of course, begins to falsely boast of his exploits with a smile growing on his face. At his lowest point, the bumbling fool finally found a way to earn respect and admiration. Even if it means admitting to crimes he didn't commit, he rolls with it because it brings the recognition he craved.

Not an uproariously funny scene, but very amusing and well written.

When Froedrick grills Igor about the true identity of the brain he stole. "Oh, it was Abby something. Abby Normal, I think"

The scene with Craig and Pinky in Pinky's shop..

crack up at the scene at the Dr. office in Fletch.

It's pretty damned funny beginning to end. Hard to remember now, but Chevy Chase was really funny way back when.

It's a shame about Ed.

-Yeah, it was a shame. To go so suddenly like that...

Aaaah, he was dying for years.

-Well, right, but the end was very sudden.

He was in intensive care for eight weeks!

-Right, but at the very end, when he actually died? That was sudden.




Just what kind of name is Poon, anyway?
-Comanche Indian

The dinner party scene from Seems Like Old Times is hilarious. "Eat the chicken, Fred"

Bucket!"
Link - ( New Window )

it's all ball bearings!

Who's The Man - All of the Dennis Leary and Dr Dre scenes

Christmas Vacation - Chevy Chase shopping at the mall, and Cousin Eddie at the sewer

8 Heads in a Duffel Bag - Joe Pesci and Grandma

Great Outdoors - Bear Scene

Still cracks me up and I've had to see that movie over 200 times.

and some gauze pads, and I'm going to need two gallons of antifreeze. Preferably Pennzoil....no, no, better make that Quaker State.

"It tastes nutty"

from the Odd Couple, when Felix (Jack Lemmon) unclogs his ears at the diner.

In comment 12972153 Greg from LI said:

Quote:

It's so hard to cut it down to just one or two, but if I must....the rental counter scene in Planes Trains and Automobiles. Runner up - when Vinny arrives in prison and interviews Stan in My Cousin Vinny.

Cause it's the funniest damn scene! What an underrated brilliant comedy.

Of the the Bradley Fighting Vehicle.

Digging deep! That's a great movie, though almost no one has seen it.

"We need sheep specs"

also the PMS episode of Everybody loves raymond

,

.

Collins' slideshow presentation in Idiocracy. "Upgrayedd, spelled thusly. The double D is for a double dose of his pimping"

...

You got change for a hundred?

"Does your dog bite?"

"No"

Dog bites Clouseau

"I thought you said your dog didn't bite?"

"That's not my dog."

another great scene from PTA
Link - ( New Window )

Cheating during foreign service exam. With an assist from Frank Oz as the unamused exam proctor.

"Can you hold my wallet? There's a thousand dollars in there. Or maybe there isn't. Know what I mean?"

Plenty from Caddyshack, especially when Chevy plays through in Bill Murray's hut. Or Rodney Dangerfield at the country club dinner

"I bet you were something before electricity!"

In comment 12972309 leatherneck570 said:

Quote:

... You got change for a hundred?

Haha. Chris Rock looked like a crackhead back then.


There are so many. I can pick a bunch of scenes from Dumb and Dumber, Caddyshack, The Other Guys, etc. I dont know why but as a kid I remember laughing uncontrollably at the scene with the bricks in Home Alone 2. Another hysterical moment not in a comedy was in The Wire. It was the episode where Jimmy went undercover to the whore house and got caught banging those 2 chicks. His facial expression was priceless.

Ted has hundreds of them, though I admit it's not what everyone finds funny. I loved it.

one of my favorites:

Quote:

Frank: You think you got what it takes? Ted: I'll tell you what I got. Your wife's pussy on my breath. Frank: Nobody's ever spoken to me like that before. Ted: That's because their mouths were full of your wife's box. Frank: You're hired. Ted: Shit.

Aw, man, fuck the cup - pour it in my hand for a dime!

when they find the Baby Ruth bar, and later Bill Murray eats it. Also any scene with Rodney in it.

Holy Grail with Tim the Enchanter on the bridge, and the Rabbit scene.

Life of Brian when the crowd is trying to hear the sermon- " Blessed are the Cheese makers".

Also any scene between Barth Gumble and Jerry Hubard from Fernwood 2nite. Not too many people remember that show. Classic. Could never get away with that show 2day.

I'm sure if you asked me this tomorrow I would have a completely different list. But I'm trying to think of some of the scenes that made me laugh the absolute hardest the first time I saw them

See No Evil, Hear No Evil- Interrogation Scene
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5O5jd5cqZA

Borat- naked wrestling scene
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Et01RbKv8AU

Bad Santa- fight between Tony Cox and Bernie Mac
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1MHXYx2820

There's Something About Mary- Zipper Scene
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzRuKnb2uuY

Step Brothers- Sweet Child O'Mine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tm2Jy64b0dI

Team America: World Police - Love Scene
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7tXpBrpecA

The Naked Gun- Frank Drebin fights with the umpires
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzoXUrYP2R4

Dumb and Dumber- I'm... Shaving!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwcVJMvVWDA

Rat Race- Jon Lovitz drives Hitler's car
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dsgQb3jkk4

Austin Powers 2: Urine Sample with Mini Mie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_iPFHi1SWE

From "Enrico Pallazo's" performance, to Drebin calling 2 pitches down the middle balls, to getting in a rundown as an umpire, that was just classic!

The water ballet was classic, the entrance of the Judge's niece.

Opening romp through London in Austin Powers

Stripes graduation or mud wrestling

Montage of weddings in Wedding Crashers

Black Knight scene in Holy Grail

.

"You're going the wrong direction!"

"He says we're going the wrong direction..."

"How the hell would he know where we're going...?"

.

"Ray, pretend for a moment that I don't know anything about metallurgy, engineering, or physics, and just tell me what the hell is going on?"

The next scene at the mayor's office is great, too.

Many funny scenes, The John Candy scene driving where he is driving down the wrong side. He splits the 2 head on trucks. Steve Martin looks at him and John is in a Devil Suit. Wife had to pause the VHS tape because I lost my breath laughing so hard.

"wait a minute wait a minute one jerk at a time"

In comment 12972184 FatMan in Charlotte said:

Quote:

crack up at the scene at the Dr. office in Fletch.

How about the Fred "The Dorf" Dorfman scene? "Not gonna sing for us are you, Sammy?"

An all-time favorite movie.

In comment 12972164 I Love Clams Casino said:

Quote:

when Michael Cain whips Steve Martin's shins with a stick and he has to pretend to not feel a thing link - ( New Window )

Great call on this one!

In comment 12972319 Trainmaster said:

Quote:

"Does your dog bite?" "No" Dog bites Clouseau "I thought you said your dog didn't bite?" "That's not my dog."

This

In comment 12972322 mattlawson said:

Quote:

another great scene from PTA Link - ( New Window )

You crushed it. Great job.

It's a Mad mad mad world

In comment 12972376 Chris in Philly said:

Quote:

.

"No, I'm meeeeester Nussbaum!"

In comment 12972378 yatqb said:

Quote:

.

has to be top three good call

I was in the jungle. The bush we called it. For approximately nine months...

-Nine months! That must have really been something!

-It was. I saw things. They have tsetse flies down there the size of eagles!

You sure these are flies you are talking about?

- Flies. The natives had a name for them Jose Greco de Muertos, flamenco dancers of death. The enormous flies flapping away slowly into the sunset...small brown babies clutched in there beaks.

- Beaks? Flies with beaks?!

In comment 12972376 Chris in Philly said:

Quote:

.

That was the first that came to my mind… And then there was this:

" They're always coming and going and going and coming and always too soon!"

Lili Von Schtupp - Blazing Saddles

in Slapshot.

Jerry: Osgood, I'm gonna level with you. We can't get married at all.

Osgood: Why not?

Jerry: Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde.

Osgood: Doesn't matter.

Jerry: I smoke! I smoke all the time!

Osgood: I don't care.

Jerry: Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I've been living with a saxophone player.

Osgood: I forgive you.

Jerry: [tragically] I can never have children!

Osgood: We can adopt some.

Jerry: But you don't understand, Osgood! Ohh...

[Jerry finally gives up and pulls off his wig]

Jerry: [normal voice] I'm a man!

Osgood: [shrugs] Well, nobody's perfect!

Great scenes.

"Mother? Not Mother?"

"May I go to the bathroom? (shits his pants) Thank you."

"OKLAHOMA, OKLAHOMA, OKLAHOMA, OKLAHOMA, OKLAHOMA!!!!"

Here's another one. It's a Lincoln Continental, Mark IV, 1973. It's loaded. It's got air conditioning. It's got a stereo. It's got white-wall radial tires. It's got power steering, power brakes, power seats, power windows. And a price that is just too high.

in that movie.

Some others that come to mind. The waxing scene in 40 Year Old Virgin. Most scenes from Meet The Parents. The more I watch the 40 Year Old Virgin the worse it gets. The more I watch Meet The Parents the funnier it gets.

In comment 12972407 gtt350 said:

Quote:

It's a Mad mad mad world

ANYTHING Mad Mad Mad World!
Sid Cesar "Why can't ya have a little CONFIDENCE in me"...

In comment 12972407 gtt350 said:

Quote:

It's a Mad mad mad world

Good one and also from the same movie after the old lady calls her son for help:

I'm comin momma I'm comin mamma. The son totally over reacts.

not a classic, but some good moments:

Quote:

Bob Wiley: You ever hear of Tourette's syndrome? Involuntarily shouting profanity? Dr. Leo Marvin: It's exceptionally rare. Bob Wiley: Shit-eating son-of-a-bitch! Bastard, douche-bag, twat, numb-nuts, dickhead, BITCH! Dr. Leo Marvin: Why exactly are you doing this? Bob Wiley: If I fake it, then I don't have it.

Quote:

Dr. Leo Marvin: [Hangs up phone] That patient, the one who called before, he committed suicide. Fay Marvin: Oh, Leo, how horrible. Dr. Leo Marvin: Oh well, let's not let it spoil our vacation.

.
click - ( New Window )

It's Germany before Hitler you can see that! I don't know what people are going to do when a six pack of Budweiser cost $1,200.00

Next time we're in Tejada Shel don't let me forget, they make a chicken sandwich down here...they serve on a hard roll, they heat it up...with oragne juice you know grande...a big one or pineapple juice and coffee. Do you take coffee Shel? Expresso with the beautiful foam..

The benefits are terrific. The trick is not getting killed. That's really the key to the benefits program.

You know, if Chiang had ever made it back to mainland China, Billy and Bing would be anchoring the evening news, that's how beloved they were.

These are the best security men in the world. They used to work for J.C. Penney.

The Guacamole Act of 1917.

Ileft those slides in a suit i had martinized, they would have won me a pulitzer prize.

I'm such a good driver, it's incomprehensible they took my license away.

-Did we hit the little boy on Sixth Avenue? -No, we missed him by a good foot and a half.

My car has flames!

Is this coffee freeze dried? It's really good.

The Ocean? It's over the ocean to Scranton Pennsylvania?!

Very nice. A little greasy, but very nice. Crumble some crackers into it Shell, that will help to absorb the grease.

There's no reason to shoot at me, I'm a dentist.

.

Frank McRae was awesome in Used Cars.

Jeff: Nuns? Really?
Rudy: Yeah....Jim had to turn the fire hose on them.
Jim: And I knocked them motherfuckers right on they ass, too!

" How much for the little girl… Your wife, your daughters? I want to buy your women… Sell me your children! "

Assholes, assholes.

I'm surrounded by assholes.

"Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.



Elwood: You don't like it?
Jake: No I don't like it...
[Elwood Blues floors the pedal and jumps over an open drawbridge]
Jake: Car's got a lot of pickup.
Elwood: It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it's got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what?
[a brief thinking pause while Jake attempts to light a cigarette]
Jake: Fix the cigarette lighter.


"Donald 'Duck' Dunn: We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline."



"[to man in restaurant]
Jake: [fakes accent] How much for the little girl? How much for the women?
Father: What?
Jake: Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters... sell them to me. Sell me your children."



Jake:
How often does the train go by?

Elwood:
So often you don't even notice it.

the scene in Raising Arizona when Hi robs the convenience store, then gets chased and shot at through the streets, a grocery store, in a stolen truck, and someone's house.

In comment 12972492 Greg from LI said:

Quote:

the scene in Raising Arizona when Hi robs the convenience store, then gets chased and shot at through the streets, a grocery store, in a stolen truck, and someone's house.

Loved raising arizona, loved this scene - better when you watch it obviously.

Quote:

Gale: All right, ya hayseeds, it's a stick-up. Everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground. Feisty Hayseed: Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm a-gonna be in motion. You see... Gale: Shut up! Feisty Hayseed: Okay then. Gale: Everybody down on the ground! Evelle: Y'all can just forget that part about freezin' now. Gale: Better still to get down there. Evelle: Yeah, y'all hear that, don't ya? [Everybody lays down. Gale looks at the now-empty teller windows] Gale: Shit! Where'd all the tellers go? Teller's voices: We're down here, sir. Evelle: They're on the floor as you commanded, Gale.

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.


Christ! Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the fucking peace corps!


Dean Wormer: Well, well, well. Looks like somebody forgot there's a rule against alcoholic beverages in fraternities on probation!
Otter: What a tool.
Dean Wormer: I didn't get that, son, what was that?
Otter: Uh, I said, "What a shame that a few bad apples have to spoil a good time for everyone by breaking the rules."
Dean Wormer: Put a sock in it, boy, or else you'll be outta here like shit through a goose.


My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.



Pinto's Conscience (Devil): Fuck her! Fuck her brains out! Suck her tits. Squeeze her buns. You know she wants it.
Pinto's Conscience (Angel): For Shame! Lawrence I'm surprised at you.
Pinto's Conscience (Devil): Ah! Don't listen to that Jackoff. Look at those gazongas. You'll never get a better chance.
Pinto's Conscience (Angel): If you lay one hand on poor sweet, helpless girl, you'll despise yourself forever.
[Pinto then covers Clorette up.]
Pinto's Conscience (Angel): I'm proud of you, Lawrence.
Pinto's Conscience (Devil): You Homo!

.
The Commie Gets No Food - ( New Window )

The sex scene was great among many great scenes.

-Not even your code name?

Oh, right, my code name.

-Y'all hear that? We're usin' code names.



And from the police investigating at the home of Nathan Arizona.....


Cop - Was the baby wearing anything when he was abducted?
Nathan - Nobody sleeps naked in this house!
FBI - We'll ask the questions here, officer.
Cop - Well, if we're going to put out an APB I need a description of his-
FBI - Look, we're better trained in handling a crisis situation!
*to Nathan* What was the child wearing?
Nathan - A dinner jacket. What do you think? He was wearing his damn jammies!
FBI - He was wearing his jammies. Happy now?
Cop - What did the pajamas look like?
Nathan - Hell, I don't know, they were jammies! They had pictures of Yodas on em and shit!

Pretty much the whole movie.

"Hey Johnny. How bout' some coffee?"

"No thanks!"
Johnny - ( New Window )

In comment 12972517 TheBigBlueOne said:

Quote:

. The Commie Gets No Food - ( New Window )

Hah....my best friend still quotes that movie all the time. Both that scene, and the bit about "There are certain sacred things in this world that you don't ever mess with. One of those things happens to be another man's fries."

When a poster says "I'm surprised nobody mentioned X?", X has already been mentioned 99% of the time but the poster just didn't bother looking.

movie quotes to something useful. I'd have cured cancer by now, or made a fortune, or both.

In comment 12972530 Greg from LI said:

Quote:

In comment 12972517 TheBigBlueOne said: Quote: . The Commie Gets No Food - ( New Window ) Hah....my best friend still quotes that movie all the time. Both that scene, and the bit about "There are certain sacred things in this world that you don't ever mess with. One of those things happens to be another man's fries."

Men at Work= very underrated. Tons of great lines.

"What's a fernologist?"

"I feel and interpret the size of Walt's asshole."

Warning, there is flatulence in this scene.
Weekend Warriors - Nuclear blast fart - ( New Window )

So many in that movie.

You guys are the worst bounty hunters Ive ever seen.

-That's right.

So how come no one's after you?



What's the name of this establishment?
-Red's Corner Bar.
You Red?
-Yes sir.
You dye your hair?
-No.
So why do they call you Red?
-Oh, it's a nickname, short for Redwood. My last name's Wood.
What's your first name?
-Bill.

"Shi gwine man chitlun down for mo sho."
(Tell him to relax and I'll be back as quickly as I can with some medicine.)

Drugs, Frank....drugs.

-Nurse, get this man some drugs!

No, Frank....heroin.

-*lowers voice*Nordberg, that's a pretty tall order, you're gonna have to give me a couple of days for that one.

The Blue Oyster.
The Blue Oyster Bar - ( New Window )

When Tim Matheson and crew go to the all girls college pretending to pick up his girl friend Fawn Leibowitz who died in a tragic Kiln accident and they go to the Dexter Lake Club to see Otis Day and the Knights. I especially like the part when he is in the car with the girl and he says "I used to touch Fawn this way" and the girl says "I know." He pauses, looks up to the camera and grins and then go s back to business. It's a well timed scene

when Tim Matheson sees the Dean's wife handling a cucumber in the supermarket and he said, "mine's bigger."


Police Academy(forget which one) when one of the teachers would have an orgasm and her scream was heard throughout the Gym

In comment 12972630 Big Blue '56 said:

Quote:

when Tim Matheson sees the Dean's wife handling a cucumber in the supermarket and he said, "mine's bigger." Police Academy(forget which one) when one of the teachers would have an orgasm and her scream was heard throughout the Gym

That sounds more like a scene from Porky's. Kim Catrall is howling as the teacher is screwing her.

Which reminds me of another scene from Porky's is the tallywhacker scene in the Principal's office.
Poor visual and audio quality youtube clip. Also NSFW. - ( New Window )

from Zoolander. I used to laugh so hard in college every time I saw that scene.

Jim taking the drivers written test ... hey Alex! What do you do when you come to a yellow light? Slow down...

In comment 12972639 TheBigBlueOne said:

Quote:

In comment 12972630 Big Blue '56 said: Quote: when Tim Matheson sees the Dean's wife handling a cucumber in the supermarket and he said, "mine's bigger." Police Academy(forget which one) when one of the teachers would have an orgasm and her scream was heard throughout the Gym That sounds more like a scene from Porky's. Kim Catrall is howling as the teacher is screwing her. Which reminds me of another scene from Porky's is the tallywhacker scene in the Principal's office. Poor visual and audio quality youtube clip. Also NSFW. - ( New Window )

Yup, my bad

Still - funny as hell scene! Whaaaaaat .... dooooooo .... youuuuuuu.... doooooooo.... whennnnnn..... youuuuuuu.... come....... tooooooooo aaaaaaaaaaaa yelloooooooooow light

In comment 12972501 Dirt1 said:

Quote:

Pinto's Conscience (Devil): Fuck her! Fuck her brains out! Suck her tits. Squeeze her buns. You know she wants it. Pinto's Conscience (Angel): For Shame! Lawrence I'm surprised at you. Pinto's Conscience (Devil): Ah! Don't listen to that Jackoff. Look at those gazongas. You'll never get a better chance. Pinto's Conscience (Angel): If you lay one hand on poor sweet, helpless girl, you'll despise yourself forever. [Pinto then covers Clorette up.] Pinto's Conscience (Angel): I'm proud of you, Lawrence. Pinto's Conscience (Devil): You Homo!

The first few dozen times I saw Animal House I couldn't even hear this dialogue because the audience was laughing so loud. I don't think I ever heard the full scene until the video came out.

I'd have to say though that the funniest scene was the Delta's grade point averages/ Flounder throwing up in Dean Wormer

Who's on First, 7 x 13 = 28, The Dice Game, Two Tens for a Five, and of course...
The Susquehanna Hat Co. - ( New Window )

Old School,
Frank (Will Ferrell): "We're streaking, we're streaking".
Frank's wife: "who's streaking"?
Frank: "Everybody"

or the toast to Will's wedding by Mitch (Luke Wilson): ""True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend…"

Wedding Crashers,
Jeremy Grey (Vince Vaughn): "Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye."

Vacation, (I'm paraphrasing here)
Clark Griswald (Chevy Chase) buying a car, "I distinctly ordered the arctic blue super sports wagon"
Salesman: "what, you didn't order metallic pea?"
Clark: "This isn't even the right model"
Salesman: "This is a damn fine automobile"
Clark: "look, I'm not your ordinary everyday fool. I know what I ordered and I'm not taking this car, where's my old car?"
{{!Crash! as old car is being destroyed}}
Salesman: "I'm just as upset about this as you are. Truth is, this model here is just the automobile you want to take across country. If you think you hate it now, just wait til you drive it...(I died laughing at that line)

Dumb and Dumber,
After trading the dog van for a mini-bike:
"Just when I think you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do somethin' like this -- and totally redeem yourself!"

or

- "What's the chances you would ever go out with a man like me"
- "About 1 in a million"
- YEAH...so you're telling me there's a chance

or after the cop drinks from a bottle of piss
- "Care for a tic tac??"

-------------------------

If I went on with Christmas Vacation, it would take me all day as I'd have to quote the whole friggin movie. Funniest movie in history as far as I'm concerned

Pet Detective
Ace Ventura being threatened by Lois Einhorn at the police station:

Louis: "How would you like me to make your life a living hell?"
Ace: "Well...thanks Lois, but I'm already in a relationship."

City Slickers
The scene in which Phil's wife finds out he's screwing a girl from the grocery store while at Mitch's 40th Birthday Party at his house:

[door bell rings - answers door - Nancy standing there]

Phil Berquist: Nancy, what are you doing here, shouldn't you be at the store?

Nancy: I'm late"

Phil Berquist: What do you mean you're late?

Nancy: I missed my period!

Arlene Berquist: Why is she telling you this... Phil?

Phil Berquist: Because... because I'm her boss! And... we... we have a health plan!

Arlene Berquist: You son of a bitch - you screwed this little girl in my father's store?

Phil Berquist: No... no! No!

Nancy: It was in his car! And I'm not a little girl; I'm twenty.

Arlene Berquist: Get out of this house, you little whore.

Phil Berquist: Hey! I will not permit you to talk to her that way.

Arlene Berquist: Fine. I'll tell my father what you did!

Phil Berquist: Don't you call Mister Levine! Hey! Give me that phone...

[struggles to take the phone from her]

Arlene Berquist: You're crazy!

Phil Berquist: That's right - not having sex for TWELVE YEARS will do that to a person!

[she breaks the phone]

Arlene Berquist: I'll call from the bedroom.

Phil Berquist: The bedroom? How the hell would you know where the bedroom is?

Arlene Berquist: I'm calling...

Phil Berquist: Go ahead, call him - I'm sure he's home. It's his night to meet with the other escaped Nazis!

Arlene Berquist: I hate you!

Phil Berquist: I hate you more; if hate were people, I'd be China!

Mitch Robbins: [awkward pause] Let's bring out the cake!

is the best part of that dialog. LOL, who calls their father-in-law Mr.

"Its all ball bearings these days"

Kentucky Fried Movie and Don't be a Menace to South Central while Drinking your Juice in the Hood.

Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein

Lon Chaney Jr. "You see when the sun goes down and the moon comes up I turn into a wolf."

Lou Costello "You and 20 million other guys."

Blazing Saddles

Among many
"Hey, where all the white women at?"

4 Weddings and a Funeral

Chick flicks seem to be permitted

The second wedding. "Do you take this woman as your awfully wedded wife?" "In the name of the father and the son and the holy spiggot.."

(When his films still made a little sense) I loved the line and scene where after stealing some invaluable piece of art from one century the time bandits jump backwards 100 years and claim: "fantastic! Try that in a court if law!"
Try THAT in a court of law... - ( New Window )

Ace Ventura When Nature Calls

Shikaka

Shiskabob
Shawshank Redemption
Chicago

You're Out of Here. Go On. Get Out. Go.

In comment 12972425 B in ALB said:
[quote]

To me, the funniest scene in that or any movie was the scene in which Steve Martin has to keep pretending his legs are lifeless while Michael Caine as a fake doctor is examining him for the benefit of the girl they're both trying to con, and who's called Caine to help the "paralytic" Martin. Caine knows he has him dead to rights and escalates his torture and Martin holds in his pain. As a comedy writer, the comedy of the scene comes from the audience knowing what the girl doesn't know, i.e., the charade between Caine and Martin. Hysterical through and through.

with Jim Carrey not being able to tell a lie, so he rips each and every one of the board members unmercifully during a meeting

Rex Cramer vs. Airport Missionaries. It so great that it's Robert Stack doing the stunts.
Airplane Missionaries - ( New Window )

Old School - when Will Ferrell takes a tranquilizer gun to neck and falls into pool. And then comes out and gives tongue when he is given mouth-to-mouth by a guy. Tremendous.

Wedding Crashers - whole movie is strong but love the midnight rape scene and then Jeremy describing it next morning over brunch. And really any scene with Sack (Bradley Cooper) is great...strong performance.

In comment 12972566 mgreenie03 said:

Quote:

So many in that movie. You guys are the worst bounty hunters Ive ever seen.

Another classic!

Hank contract two twenties, check me out. Do the litmus configuration.

Have you seen any suspicious looking individuals around here?

No, sir.

Do you live around here?

Fletch - scenes at country club playing tennis. Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a water buffalo? Hey doc, do you have the whole fist up there?

Animal House - fraternity/court room scene - we're not going to sit here and listen to you bad mouth the United States of America. Flounder - face it..you fuk'd up...you trusted us. We need the dues.

In comment 12972956 TheBigBlueOne said:

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Rex Cramer vs. Airport Missionaries. It so great that it's Robert Stack doing the stunts. Airplane Missionaries - ( New Window )

Scientologyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

mean anything to you?

- Interview Training: "some days you win, some days you lose, some days it rains...think about that."

- "Candlesticks always make a nice gift, and maybe you could find out where she's registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern...Okay, let's get two!"

- Crash: "Why are you shaking me off?"
Ebby Clavin: "I want to give him the heat and announce my presence with authority!"

- Coach: "You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry..."
Larry: "Lollygaggers!"

In comment 12972960 Jimmy Googs said:

Quote:

Old School - when Will Ferrell takes a tranquilizer gun to neck and falls into pool. And then comes out and gives tongue when he is given mouth-to-mouth by a guy. Tremendous.

Oh yeah...that was funny. Another scene that made me roar was when he was at the shrink's office for marital counseling with his wife and was told it was a "safe place...you can say anything". So he babbles on about being at a restaurant and wondering what kind of underwear the waitress is wearing. There is no such thing as a safe zone to say such stupid shit in front of your wife if you wish to stay married..lol

The name's Francis Soyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you.

Hitchhiker: No! No, no, not 6! I said 7. Nobody's comin' up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes? You won't even get your heart goin, not even a mouse on a wheel.
Ted: That - good point.
Hitchhiker: 7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 doors. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.
Ted: Why?
Hitchhiker: 'Cause you're fuckin' fired!
-----------------------------

At Police headquarters:

Ted: "I'm telling you, I did not solicit sex! I was just stopping to go the bathroom, next thing I know I tripped over something - well someone - and, poof, there's cops and lights and ..."

Detective Stabler: "Okay, calm down, Ted, we believe you. The problem is we found your friend in the car."

Ted: "Oh. The hitchhiker. That's what this is all about. Isn't that just my luck - I get caught for everything."

Detective Krevoy: "So you admit it?"

Ted: "Guilty as charged. I'm not gonna play games with you. I could give you a song and dance but what's the point? I did it and we all know it. The hitcher himself told me it's illegal. The irony."

Detective Krevoy: "Well, uh, can you tell us his name?
Ted: Jeez, I didn't catch it."

Detective Stabler: "So he was a stranger? It was totally random?"

Ted: "He was the first hitcher I saw, what can I tell you? Now cut to the chase, how much trouble am I in?"

Detective Stabler: "First tell us why you did it."

Ted: "Why I did it? I don't know. Boredom? I thought I was doing the guy a favor."

Detective Krevoy: "This wasn't your first time, was it, Ted? How many we talking?"

Ted: "Hitchhikers? I don't know - 50... 100 maybe - Who keeps track? Hey, I know this is the Bible Belt, but where I come from this is not that big a deal."

Detective Krevoy: "You son of a bitch! You're gonna fry!"

[then slams Ted's face into the table]...lmao

Susan: A real woman could stop you from drinking.

Arthur: It'd have to be a real BIG woman.

"I'm listening to the fucking song!"
Pre-Game Brawl - Slap Shot (7/10) Movie CLIP (1977) HD - ( New Window )

When the monster meets the blind man (Gene Hackman). The blind man pours soup in the monster's lap, breaks his mug when they toast each other and the blind man lights the monster's thumb on fire instead of the cigar he gave him. Hilarious scene!

Come back! I was going to make espresso.

Rodney ripped his way through the dinner at the country club dumping and insulting everyone

staying with the old Jewish couple.

Frank takes a leak.
Link - ( New Window )

Just give me a sign -
Link - ( New Window )

In comment 12972996 Shirk130 said:

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The name's Francis Soyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you.

One of the funniest movies of all time
"C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like going into Wisconsin."

"Well I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it!"

In comment 12973008 TheBigBlueOne said:

Quote:

"I'm listening to the fucking song!" Pre-Game Brawl - Slap Shot (7/10) Movie CLIP (1977) HD - ( New Window )

haha Slapshot was like a machine gun of classic scenes!
"I got a good deal on those boys. The scouts said they showed a lot of promise."
"They brought their fuckin' TOYS with 'em!"

"Well, I'd rather have em playin with their toys than playin with themselves"
"They're too dumb to play with themselves!"

NSFW.
PROFANITY.
Harry and Ken - ( New Window )

"The Great Race".......what happened between Max and Professor Fate, throughout the movie was hilarious.....

At the start of the race Max booby traps the opposing cars....

Professor Fate: What's next?
Max: Car number five, the engine falls out!
Professor Fate: Car number five! Ha ha ha ha!
[beat]
Professor Fate: Er, Max... *we're* number five.



This always cracks me up from My Big fat Greek Wedding:

"What do you mean you don't eat no meat.... that's ok, I make lamb."

Groucho: That clause is in every contract. That's a sanity clause.

Chico: Oh, no. You can't fool me. There's no such thing as Sanity Claus,

In the movie "The Gods Must Be Crazy," the scene where the Bushman, who knows nothing about civilization, drives the jeep while standing on the hood of the car, in front of the steering wheel.

in the 1966 movie "The Wrong Box," the set of scenes where the prior schoolboys who are involved in a bet to see who stays alive longest all die, save two. That section of movie is linked.
Link - ( New Window )

.
Let's party - ( New Window )

Amazed no one has mentioned it.

"Brick killed a guy . . . did you throw a trident???"

There's millennials out there who use "Boy, that escalated quickly" as a meme, and have never actually seen the movie. It's classic.

RE: Planes, Trains & Automobiles:
I Love Clams Casino : 11:14 am : link : reply
In comment 12972157 Chris684 said:
Quote:


The Cable Guy: The morning after the party when Carrey tells him about the prostitute.


Agreed....great scene

Also The Frozen Dog Snarling in the back of the Pick Up

Are you saying Jesus Christ can't hit a curve ball?

.

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. My wife and I saw it originally approximately 52 years ago. We both left the Theater with pain in our sides.

When he goes on that southern Maury Povich show with the African American adopted baby who he names 'OJ'.

In comment 12973008 TheBigBlueOne said:

Quote:

"I'm listening to the fucking song!" Pre-Game Brawl - Slap Shot (7/10) Movie CLIP (1977) HD - ( New Window )

I thought the fashion show was even funnier. "Everybody but my wife is going to be running for the exits."
Link - ( New Window )

but side slappin funny IMHO

Big Bang Theory

Leslie Winkle: "Listen, neither of us are neuroscientists, but we both understand the biochemistry of sex. I mean, dopamine in our brains is released across synapses, causing pleasure. You stick electrodes in a rat's brain, give him an orgasm button, he'll push that thing until he starves to death."

Leonard Hostetler: "Well, who wouldn't?"

but this piano duet between Harpo and Chico Marx is one of the funniest clips I've seen.
Link - ( New Window )

Christopher Walken (SNL)

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/the-continental/2869241

The scebne which DeVito answers the phone:

The following: DeVito is talking to a cop about being ruthless.

DeVito answers-- "Hello?"
He answers. The person on the other line asks for Debbie. DeVito doesn't know Debbie.

DeVito asks "Debbie?" He waits for the confirming reply. Then it goes as follows:

"Yeah Debbie's here. Who's this?"

"Well Ralph, Debbie can't talk right now. My dyck's in her mouth." (quick pause) "How about if I have her call you back when I'm done?"

He slams down the phone.

"I love wrong numbers."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruYwQzps33M



--------
Favorite scene in a movie. Monty Python and The Dark Knight.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eMkth8FWno

favorite TV scenes:

Super Dave Osborne Most Famous Fall

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTxiW3DRb3E

Fire Marshall Bill at School

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIZLsOtUpJM

In comment 12974660 giantstock said:

Quote:

The scebne which DeVito answers the phone: The following: DeVito is talking to a cop about being ruthless. DeVito answers-- "Hello?" He answers. The person on the other line asks for Debbie. DeVito doesn't know Debbie. DeVito asks "Debbie?" He waits for the confirming reply. Then it goes as follows: "Yeah Debbie's here. Who's this?" "Well Ralph, Debbie can't talk right now. My dyck's in her mouth." (quick pause) "How about if I have her call you back when I'm done?" He slams down the phone. "I love wrong numbers." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruYwQzps33M -------- Favorite scene in a movie. Monty Python and The Dark Knight. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eMkth8FWno favorite TV scenes: Super Dave Osborne Most Famous Fall https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTxiW3DRb3E Fire Marshall Bill at School https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIZLsOtUpJM

Supposed to be Monty Python and the Black Knight.

Not the "Dark Knight."