Favorite scene(s) from comedies

Many funny scenes, The John Candy scene driving where he is driving down the wrong side. He splits the 2 head on trucks. Steve Martin looks at him and John is in a Devil Suit. Wife had to pause the VHS tape because I lost my breath laughing so hard.

"wait a minute wait a minute one jerk at a time"

In comment 12972184 FatMan in Charlotte said:

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crack up at the scene at the Dr. office in Fletch.

How about the Fred "The Dorf" Dorfman scene? "Not gonna sing for us are you, Sammy?"

An all-time favorite movie.

In comment 12972164 I Love Clams Casino said:

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when Michael Cain whips Steve Martin's shins with a stick and he has to pretend to not feel a thing link - ( New Window )

Great call on this one!

In comment 12972319 Trainmaster said:

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"Does your dog bite?" "No" Dog bites Clouseau "I thought you said your dog didn't bite?" "That's not my dog."

This

In comment 12972322 mattlawson said:

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another great scene from PTA Link - ( New Window )

You crushed it. Great job.

It's a Mad mad mad world

In comment 12972376 Chris in Philly said:

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.

"No, I'm meeeeester Nussbaum!"

In comment 12972378 yatqb said:

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has to be top three good call

I was in the jungle. The bush we called it. For approximately nine months...

-Nine months! That must have really been something!

-It was. I saw things. They have tsetse flies down there the size of eagles!

You sure these are flies you are talking about?

- Flies. The natives had a name for them Jose Greco de Muertos, flamenco dancers of death. The enormous flies flapping away slowly into the sunset...small brown babies clutched in there beaks.

- Beaks? Flies with beaks?!

In comment 12972376 Chris in Philly said:

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.

That was the first that came to my mind… And then there was this:

" They're always coming and going and going and coming and always too soon!"

Lili Von Schtupp - Blazing Saddles

in Slapshot.

Jerry: Osgood, I'm gonna level with you. We can't get married at all.

Osgood: Why not?

Jerry: Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde.

Osgood: Doesn't matter.

Jerry: I smoke! I smoke all the time!

Osgood: I don't care.

Jerry: Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I've been living with a saxophone player.

Osgood: I forgive you.

Jerry: [tragically] I can never have children!

Osgood: We can adopt some.

Jerry: But you don't understand, Osgood! Ohh...

[Jerry finally gives up and pulls off his wig]

Jerry: [normal voice] I'm a man!

Osgood: [shrugs] Well, nobody's perfect!

Great scenes.

"Mother? Not Mother?"

"May I go to the bathroom? (shits his pants) Thank you."

"OKLAHOMA, OKLAHOMA, OKLAHOMA, OKLAHOMA, OKLAHOMA!!!!"

Here's another one. It's a Lincoln Continental, Mark IV, 1973. It's loaded. It's got air conditioning. It's got a stereo. It's got white-wall radial tires. It's got power steering, power brakes, power seats, power windows. And a price that is just too high.

in that movie.

Some others that come to mind. The waxing scene in 40 Year Old Virgin. Most scenes from Meet The Parents. The more I watch the 40 Year Old Virgin the worse it gets. The more I watch Meet The Parents the funnier it gets.

In comment 12972407 gtt350 said:

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It's a Mad mad mad world

ANYTHING Mad Mad Mad World!
Sid Cesar "Why can't ya have a little CONFIDENCE in me"...

In comment 12972407 gtt350 said:

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It's a Mad mad mad world

Good one and also from the same movie after the old lady calls her son for help:

I'm comin momma I'm comin mamma. The son totally over reacts.

not a classic, but some good moments:

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Bob Wiley: You ever hear of Tourette's syndrome? Involuntarily shouting profanity? Dr. Leo Marvin: It's exceptionally rare. Bob Wiley: Shit-eating son-of-a-bitch! Bastard, douche-bag, twat, numb-nuts, dickhead, BITCH! Dr. Leo Marvin: Why exactly are you doing this? Bob Wiley: If I fake it, then I don't have it.

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Dr. Leo Marvin: [Hangs up phone] That patient, the one who called before, he committed suicide. Fay Marvin: Oh, Leo, how horrible. Dr. Leo Marvin: Oh well, let's not let it spoil our vacation.

.
click - ( New Window )

It's Germany before Hitler you can see that! I don't know what people are going to do when a six pack of Budweiser cost $1,200.00

Next time we're in Tejada Shel don't let me forget, they make a chicken sandwich down here...they serve on a hard roll, they heat it up...with oragne juice you know grande...a big one or pineapple juice and coffee. Do you take coffee Shel? Expresso with the beautiful foam..

The benefits are terrific. The trick is not getting killed. That's really the key to the benefits program.

You know, if Chiang had ever made it back to mainland China, Billy and Bing would be anchoring the evening news, that's how beloved they were.

These are the best security men in the world. They used to work for J.C. Penney.

The Guacamole Act of 1917.

Ileft those slides in a suit i had martinized, they would have won me a pulitzer prize.

I'm such a good driver, it's incomprehensible they took my license away.

-Did we hit the little boy on Sixth Avenue? -No, we missed him by a good foot and a half.

My car has flames!

Is this coffee freeze dried? It's really good.

The Ocean? It's over the ocean to Scranton Pennsylvania?!

Very nice. A little greasy, but very nice. Crumble some crackers into it Shell, that will help to absorb the grease.

There's no reason to shoot at me, I'm a dentist.

.

Frank McRae was awesome in Used Cars.

Jeff: Nuns? Really?
Rudy: Yeah....Jim had to turn the fire hose on them.
Jim: And I knocked them motherfuckers right on they ass, too!

" How much for the little girl… Your wife, your daughters? I want to buy your women… Sell me your children! "

Assholes, assholes.

I'm surrounded by assholes.

"Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.



Elwood: You don't like it?
Jake: No I don't like it...
[Elwood Blues floors the pedal and jumps over an open drawbridge]
Jake: Car's got a lot of pickup.
Elwood: It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it's got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what?
[a brief thinking pause while Jake attempts to light a cigarette]
Jake: Fix the cigarette lighter.


"Donald 'Duck' Dunn: We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline."



"[to man in restaurant]
Jake: [fakes accent] How much for the little girl? How much for the women?
Father: What?
Jake: Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters... sell them to me. Sell me your children."



Jake:
How often does the train go by?

Elwood:
So often you don't even notice it.

the scene in Raising Arizona when Hi robs the convenience store, then gets chased and shot at through the streets, a grocery store, in a stolen truck, and someone's house.

In comment 12972492 Greg from LI said:

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the scene in Raising Arizona when Hi robs the convenience store, then gets chased and shot at through the streets, a grocery store, in a stolen truck, and someone's house.

Loved raising arizona, loved this scene - better when you watch it obviously.

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Gale: All right, ya hayseeds, it's a stick-up. Everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground. Feisty Hayseed: Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm a-gonna be in motion. You see... Gale: Shut up! Feisty Hayseed: Okay then. Gale: Everybody down on the ground! Evelle: Y'all can just forget that part about freezin' now. Gale: Better still to get down there. Evelle: Yeah, y'all hear that, don't ya? [Everybody lays down. Gale looks at the now-empty teller windows] Gale: Shit! Where'd all the tellers go? Teller's voices: We're down here, sir. Evelle: They're on the floor as you commanded, Gale.

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.


Christ! Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the fucking peace corps!


Dean Wormer: Well, well, well. Looks like somebody forgot there's a rule against alcoholic beverages in fraternities on probation!
Otter: What a tool.
Dean Wormer: I didn't get that, son, what was that?
Otter: Uh, I said, "What a shame that a few bad apples have to spoil a good time for everyone by breaking the rules."
Dean Wormer: Put a sock in it, boy, or else you'll be outta here like shit through a goose.


My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.



Pinto's Conscience (Devil): Fuck her! Fuck her brains out! Suck her tits. Squeeze her buns. You know she wants it.
Pinto's Conscience (Angel): For Shame! Lawrence I'm surprised at you.
Pinto's Conscience (Devil): Ah! Don't listen to that Jackoff. Look at those gazongas. You'll never get a better chance.
Pinto's Conscience (Angel): If you lay one hand on poor sweet, helpless girl, you'll despise yourself forever.
[Pinto then covers Clorette up.]
Pinto's Conscience (Angel): I'm proud of you, Lawrence.
Pinto's Conscience (Devil): You Homo!

.
The Commie Gets No Food - ( New Window )

The sex scene was great among many great scenes.

-Not even your code name?

Oh, right, my code name.

-Y'all hear that? We're usin' code names.



And from the police investigating at the home of Nathan Arizona.....


Cop - Was the baby wearing anything when he was abducted?
Nathan - Nobody sleeps naked in this house!
FBI - We'll ask the questions here, officer.
Cop - Well, if we're going to put out an APB I need a description of his-
FBI - Look, we're better trained in handling a crisis situation!
*to Nathan* What was the child wearing?
Nathan - A dinner jacket. What do you think? He was wearing his damn jammies!
FBI - He was wearing his jammies. Happy now?
Cop - What did the pajamas look like?
Nathan - Hell, I don't know, they were jammies! They had pictures of Yodas on em and shit!

Pretty much the whole movie.

"Hey Johnny. How bout' some coffee?"

"No thanks!"
Johnny - ( New Window )

In comment 12972517 TheBigBlueOne said:

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. The Commie Gets No Food - ( New Window )

Hah....my best friend still quotes that movie all the time. Both that scene, and the bit about "There are certain sacred things in this world that you don't ever mess with. One of those things happens to be another man's fries."

When a poster says "I'm surprised nobody mentioned X?", X has already been mentioned 99% of the time but the poster just didn't bother looking.

movie quotes to something useful. I'd have cured cancer by now, or made a fortune, or both.

In comment 12972530 Greg from LI said:

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In comment 12972517 TheBigBlueOne said: Quote: . The Commie Gets No Food - ( New Window ) Hah....my best friend still quotes that movie all the time. Both that scene, and the bit about "There are certain sacred things in this world that you don't ever mess with. One of those things happens to be another man's fries."

Men at Work= very underrated. Tons of great lines.

"What's a fernologist?"

"I feel and interpret the size of Walt's asshole."

Warning, there is flatulence in this scene.
Weekend Warriors - Nuclear blast fart - ( New Window )

So many in that movie.

You guys are the worst bounty hunters Ive ever seen.

-That's right.

So how come no one's after you?



What's the name of this establishment?
-Red's Corner Bar.
You Red?
-Yes sir.
You dye your hair?
-No.
So why do they call you Red?
-Oh, it's a nickname, short for Redwood. My last name's Wood.
What's your first name?
-Bill.

"Shi gwine man chitlun down for mo sho."
(Tell him to relax and I'll be back as quickly as I can with some medicine.)

Drugs, Frank....drugs.

-Nurse, get this man some drugs!

No, Frank....heroin.

-*lowers voice*Nordberg, that's a pretty tall order, you're gonna have to give me a couple of days for that one.

The Blue Oyster.
The Blue Oyster Bar - ( New Window )

When Tim Matheson and crew go to the all girls college pretending to pick up his girl friend Fawn Leibowitz who died in a tragic Kiln accident and they go to the Dexter Lake Club to see Otis Day and the Knights. I especially like the part when he is in the car with the girl and he says "I used to touch Fawn this way" and the girl says "I know." He pauses, looks up to the camera and grins and then go s back to business. It's a well timed scene

when Tim Matheson sees the Dean's wife handling a cucumber in the supermarket and he said, "mine's bigger."


Police Academy(forget which one) when one of the teachers would have an orgasm and her scream was heard throughout the Gym

In comment 12972630 Big Blue '56 said:

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when Tim Matheson sees the Dean's wife handling a cucumber in the supermarket and he said, "mine's bigger." Police Academy(forget which one) when one of the teachers would have an orgasm and her scream was heard throughout the Gym

That sounds more like a scene from Porky's. Kim Catrall is howling as the teacher is screwing her.

Which reminds me of another scene from Porky's is the tallywhacker scene in the Principal's office.
Poor visual and audio quality youtube clip. Also NSFW. - ( New Window )

from Zoolander. I used to laugh so hard in college every time I saw that scene.

Jim taking the drivers written test ... hey Alex! What do you do when you come to a yellow light? Slow down...