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NFT: Female coworker: how do I tell her?

santacruzom : 5/27/2016 1:33 pm
That she annoys the ever-loving shit out of me; that she's among the most intellectually vacuous people I've ever met; that I don't care to hear about how the guys she dates are beneath her absurd and undeserved standards; that her fake laugh sounds like a zoo monkey being chainsawed in half; that I can hear the shitty techno through her dollar store headphones and yes, it sucks; that it's ridiculous to be disappointed that she can't take a three week vacation four months after being hired even if she mentioned she might go to Europe in the summer during her interview; that I don't watch to hear her complain about having to do hard work; that I won't pat her on the back for doing the ordinary; and that she sucks?
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I was joking too  
santacruzom : 5/27/2016 2:03 pm : link
I should have just posted the freaking gif

RE: RE: RE: Pretend to hit on her  
santacruzom : 5/27/2016 2:04 pm : link
In comment 12973818 Cam in MO said:
Quote:
In comment 12973816 santacruzom said:


Quote:


In comment 12973805 spike said:


Quote:


And she will want to stop interacting with you



That wouldn't bode well for me. She was convinced that another recent hire was constantly staring at her whenever she'd leave or enter the room and was ready to complain until I managed to convince her that he's just an oddly alert guy who tends to be alerted by everyone who does that.



Welp, it's your fault then, Bucky. You should have never had that much interaction with her to begin with.

Now you're stuck and she thinks you're her friend.



I know... I dug my own grave by being nice to her when she was hired (only three weeks after I was), and now I need to figure out how to climb out of it tactfully.
RE: go to taco bell  
muhajir : 5/27/2016 2:06 pm : link
In comment 12973796 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
buy one of their cheap soft chicken tacos, and before a long weekend like this one tape it to the underneath part of her desk.

I did this years ago and forgot about it. months later the person I did it too was rummaging through her cube because something smelled like sweat.

she couldn't find it for the life of her.

then she called over a fat, gigantically fat, co-worker (she was very pale and one year got badly sunburned so we called her hey-koolaid) got down on her hands and knees and was like a bloodhound and she found it almost instantly it had turned to maggots and the grease almost ate through the formica or whatever the cube was made out of.

I was surprised it took so long, and it was glorious.

the person who worked in that cube knew that whoever did it hated them.

Lmao@ like a blood hound
Just be  
spike : 5/27/2016 2:07 pm : link
Honest with her
RE: Is she  
Reb8thVA : 5/27/2016 2:08 pm : link
In comment 12973745 spike said:
Quote:
A millenial?


That was my first reaction as well.
Obviously,  
Randy in CT : 5/27/2016 2:10 pm : link
it should all start with blasting her in the butt.
I've tried dropping hints  
santacruzom : 5/27/2016 2:13 pm : link
Like always "being busy" when she wants to go to lunch so she can talk about her crazy weekend bullshit, or how the other developers are way lame, or how she really likes the guy she went on a date with but can't take him seriously despite the fact that he's an architect because he has a side job as a musician, but that hasn't worked.

I've never really had to blatantly tell someone I don't like them and that I don't want them to talk to me, especially someone I have to work with.
RE: I've tried dropping hints  
Ron from Ninerland : 5/27/2016 2:17 pm : link
In comment 12973831 santacruzom said:
Quote:
Like always "being busy" when she wants to go to lunch so she can talk about her crazy weekend bullshit, or how the other developers are way lame, or how she really likes the guy she went on a date with but can't take him seriously despite the fact that he's an architect because he has a side job as a musician, but that hasn't worked.

I've never really had to blatantly tell someone I don't like them and that I don't want them to talk to me, especially someone I have to work with.


Did you see the other thread about working from home ?
rational, logical advice is welcome  
santacruzom : 5/27/2016 2:25 pm : link
But as always when I rant about stuff like this, I'm really just ranting out loud.

Millennial + female = one freaking bad combination of a coworker.
I carry around a spray water bottle and shoot it at people when  
BrettNYG10 : 5/27/2016 2:28 pm : link
They talk too much. I start with snapping my fingers and saying no, but when it escalates I use the spray.

Highly recommended.
wrong thread, Ron  
Rocky369 : 5/27/2016 2:31 pm : link
read up on Johnny Depp. He knows how to tell them to piss off.
Send her a link  
Giants2012 : 5/27/2016 2:37 pm : link
to your thread
When I saw the thread title  
Big Al : 5/27/2016 2:42 pm : link
I thought you were assigned to tell her to more fully cover her tits in the workplace but I guess that would be HR.
If you don't have a significant other,  
Randy in CT : 5/27/2016 2:46 pm : link
take her up on her offer for lunch. Then just stare at her boobs the whole time as you converse with her. I think all outcomes would be pretty good.
have Draymond green  
dep026 : 5/27/2016 2:52 pm : link
Kick her in the cooch.
No idea whether serious, but if you are...  
Big Blue Blogger : 5/27/2016 2:52 pm : link
... DO NOT SAY ANYTHING TO HER.

Report to HR that your co-worker is creating a hostile working environment. Document your issues in factual, non-emotive terms, supported by as much objective data as possible (for example, hours spent on personal calls or with music playing audibly). HR will deal with it. That's their job, not yours.

If that doesn't work, BHITB.
This place is slipping  
larryflower37 : 5/27/2016 2:53 pm : link
Not one "bang her in the ass" comment.
RE: This place is slipping  
pjcas18 : 5/27/2016 2:54 pm : link
In comment 12973869 larryflower37 said:
Quote:
Not one "bang her in the ass" comment.


there are at least 3
RE: This place is slipping  
Rocky369 : 5/27/2016 2:55 pm : link
In comment 12973869 larryflower37 said:
Quote:
Not one "bang her in the ass" comment.


I think it may just be your eyesight.
act like you  
Les in TO : 5/27/2016 3:06 pm : link
are a CEO...no time for chit chat, talking about nonsense, gotta focus on your work/schedule. and as soon as there is a vacant office/desk/cubicle that you can possibly move to, take it!!
RE: .  
chopperhatch : 5/27/2016 3:12 pm : link
In comment 12973743 arcarsenal said:
Quote:
Send her the link to this thread?


Bing! Lol
When no one else is around  
PA Giant Fan : 5/27/2016 3:30 pm : link
Whisper in her ear "I can smell your cunt" and walk away.
Do you engage her?  
phil in arizona : 5/27/2016 3:32 pm : link
I'd say just give her indifferent responses or act busy.
so Naked Shorts Boy is Multiple Miggs?  
Greg from LI : 5/27/2016 3:34 pm : link
.
RE: RE: This place is slipping  
Chris in Philly : 5/27/2016 3:42 pm : link
In comment 12973870 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
In comment 12973869 larryflower37 said:


Quote:


Not one "bang her in the ass" comment.



there are at least 3


BBI Rule #715 in action again.
You started the thread  
sphinx : 5/27/2016 3:55 pm : link
by saying "how do I tell her?" so obviously you want to have a discussion with her. I see nothing wrong with asking her to turn down the volume of the music, that it distracts you. That would be a normal workplace request. She may say "ok" and turn it down which would be a small victory or she may answer with something like, "anything else about me annoy you?". Then it's up to you.

it's beyond hope with millenials, i was giving  
gtt350 : 5/27/2016 4:14 pm : link
my assistant her review. acknowledged her good points then told her what needed to be worked on and gave her goals and she broke down crying. I was flabbergasted.
I am not going to ask for a Pic because ...  
Boy Cord : 5/27/2016 5:40 pm : link
... I don't want to get you in trouble. However, what famous person does she most closely resemble ... or get the fuck out.
RE: I'm anticipating someone posting another thread  
SanFranNowNCGiantsFan : 5/27/2016 5:46 pm : link
In comment 12973804 David in LA said:
Quote:
"Male coworker: how do I tell him?"

All fucking year, I've had to listen to this guy brag about the Warriors. So now, I've been blasting shitty techno, and he never seems to stop.


I laughed.
Dammit  
mrvax : 5/27/2016 5:54 pm : link
I had to look up "vacuous". Anyone else?
One  
liteamorn : 5/27/2016 5:54 pm : link
Well timed "Jesus Fucking Christ....WHAT THE FUCK!!!!"
RE: go to taco bell  
mrvax : 5/27/2016 5:57 pm : link
In comment 12973796 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
buy one of their cheap soft chicken tacos, and before a long weekend like this one tape it to the underneath part of her desk.

I did this years ago and forgot about it. months later the person I did it too was rummaging through her cube because something smelled like sweat.

she couldn't find it for the life of her.

then she called over a fat, gigantically fat, co-worker (she was very pale and one year got badly sunburned so we called her hey-koolaid) got down on her hands and knees and was like a bloodhound and she found it almost instantly it had turned to maggots and the grease almost ate through the formica or whatever the cube was made out of.

I was surprised it took so long, and it was glorious.

the person who worked in that cube knew that whoever did it hated them.


Next time, use a shrimp. Works very fast. It will stink horrifically within a week and it's so easy to conceal. (I never posted this.)
RE: act like you  
santacruzom : 5/27/2016 6:03 pm : link
In comment 12973891 Les in TO said:
Quote:
are a CEO...no time for chit chat, talking about nonsense, gotta focus on your work/schedule. and as soon as there is a vacant office/desk/cubicle that you can possibly move to, take it!!


Good call on the move. We have a bunch of clear desks now, as some of the managers moved to a different spot. I do like 3 of my other neighbors though.
RE: I am not going to ask for a Pic because ...  
santacruzom : 5/27/2016 6:04 pm : link
In comment 12974110 Boy Cord said:
Quote:
... I don't want to get you in trouble. However, what famous person does she most closely resemble ... or get the fuck out.


Shut, I don't know. She's a 5'1 foot Indian girl who's cute but not quite as much as she seems to think she is.
RE: RE: I am not going to ask for a Pic because ...  
Modus Operandi : 5/27/2016 6:06 pm : link
In comment 12974132 santacruzom said:
Quote:
In comment 12974110 Boy Cord said:


Quote:


... I don't want to get you in trouble. However, what famous person does she most closely resemble ... or get the fuck out.



Shut, I don't know. She's a 5'1 foot Indian girl who's cute but not quite as much as she seems to think she is.


First you'll have to figure out how to get past the head swivel. Shit's hypnotizing.

boy Warriors fans are just pissed at the world these days...  
Stu11 : 5/27/2016 6:19 pm : link
.
You should hear the sports radio out here  
Modus Operandi : 5/27/2016 6:22 pm : link
Suddenly, the Dubs take too many three's...don't play enough defense...Steve Kerr is getting outcoached...Curry should be traded while his value is still high.

It's scrumtralescent.
RE: RE: I am not going to ask for a Pic because ...  
ron mexico : 5/27/2016 6:28 pm : link
In comment 12974132 santacruzom said:
Quote:
In comment 12974110 Boy Cord said:


Quote:


... I don't want to get you in trouble. However, what famous person does she most closely resemble ... or get the fuck out.



Shut, I don't know. She's a 5'1 foot Indian girl who's cute but not quite as much as she seems to think she is.


Better or worse than Mindy kaling?
RE: BHITB  
Mark from Jersey : 5/27/2016 7:28 pm : link
In comment 12973782 penkap75 said:
Quote:
.
This would also be my recommendation.
She's a developer?  
BestFeature : 5/29/2016 4:02 am : link
Sounds to me like an ad agency girl (this comes from experience).
RE: No idea whether serious, but if you are...  
BestFeature : 5/29/2016 4:07 am : link
In comment 12973866 Big Blue Blogger said:
Quote:
... DO NOT SAY ANYTHING TO HER.

Report to HR that your co-worker is creating a hostile working environment. Document your issues in factual, non-emotive terms, supported by as much objective data as possible (for example, hours spent on personal calls or with music playing audibly). HR will deal with it. That's their job, not yours.

If that doesn't work, BHITB.


I really don't get this new age tell Mommy culture that we have. I can't think of a more cowardly thing to do than not talking to her first and going straight to HR. She can't get a warning before he gets her in trouble with HR? To me that's absolutely despicable.
Or  
BigBlue in Keys : 5/29/2016 6:08 am : link
Have you dropped a deuce in her desk yet  
Shadow : 5/29/2016 7:58 am : link
-Osi
Bestfeature: It sucks, but letting HR handle it is the best option.  
Big Blue Blogger : 5/31/2016 4:45 pm : link
BestFeature said:
Quote:
I really don't get this new age tell Mommy culture that we have. I can't think of a more cowardly thing to do than not talking to her first and going straight to HR. She can't get a warning before he gets her in trouble with HR? To me that's absolutely despicable.

The point isn't to get her in trouble. If HR is any good at their job, they will resolve the issue to everyone's satisfaction without punishing anyone. The problem with santacruzom trying to handle the situation himself is that it leaves him vulnerable to a much more serious harassment rap than the one his co-worker faces.

I basically agree with you that going to HR is a weenie move. Unfortunately, it's also the right move.
Here, send her a love poem, translated from your complaint.  
manh george : 5/31/2016 5:10 pm : link
Roses are red, violets are blue,
You annoy the ever-loving shit out of me, honest you do.

Yes, some roses are red, on that you can bet,
But you are among the most vacuous people I've met;

Making love while on top, is a recent tradition,
your guys being beneath you ain't status, it's position.

It's not that I don't like the way that you laugh,
Then again I like zoo monkeys being chainsawed in half;

You music is sweet, or at least it might be,
On headphones worth more than a dollar oh three.

I agree that its unfair that a vacation you lack,
What would be much worse, though is if you come back.

You work really hard, that I can't deny.
But working hard at complaining is all that you try.

Your work should be praised, really it should,
The next time it turns out to be any good.

The bottom line is that, you suck and you smell,
And in terms of the former, you don't do it well.


Find an old Valentine's card and you are all set.

I'm a millennial woman...  
GoooooGiants : 6/1/2016 2:35 pm : link
And even I find this post whiney
update!  
santacruzom : 6/1/2016 7:17 pm : link
I think I've got my exit strategy figured out, inadvertently.

She caught up to me while in the cafeteria line and started talking to me about how excited she is to go to Europe, about how she can't wait to go clubbing there, how European men are just like SO MUCH MORE WORDLY than American men (may be true, but if so it's definitely true for European women as well), blah blah blah. When we got to the table she asked another coworker (a Dutch guy) when he'd last visited Amsterdam, and after he answered her question we started talking about traveling through Europe with no focus on clubbing or partying. Once the conversation morphed into not being about her or her interests at all, she didn't say a peep and actually left the table 15 minutes before anyone else did!
good luck  
RasputinPrime : 6/1/2016 7:34 pm : link
there is no cure for it. No matter what my wife does i'm never letting her go. It's too scary out there. They make you want to mace yourself and that is something only a wife can protect you from.

Hunt old. Stay safe.
Your are Trapped in the Friendzone.  
Shadow : 6/1/2016 9:22 pm : link
RE: Bestfeature: It sucks, but letting HR handle it is the best option.  
BestFeature : 6/2/2016 12:23 am : link
In comment 12977811 Big Blue Blogger said:
Quote:
BestFeature said:

Quote:


I really don't get this new age tell Mommy culture that we have. I can't think of a more cowardly thing to do than not talking to her first and going straight to HR. She can't get a warning before he gets her in trouble with HR? To me that's absolutely despicable.


The point isn't to get her in trouble. If HR is any good at their job, they will resolve the issue to everyone's satisfaction without punishing anyone. The problem with santacruzom trying to handle the situation himself is that it leaves him vulnerable to a much more serious harassment rap than the one his co-worker faces.

I basically agree with you that going to HR is a weenie move. Unfortunately, it's also the right move.


I guess then this brings up a different issue. You can't confront (non-violently and non-sexually) a woman at work without it being Sexual Harassment?
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