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NFT: Female coworker: how do I tell her?

santacruzom : 5/27/2016 1:33 pm
That she annoys the ever-loving shit out of me; that she's among the most intellectually vacuous people I've ever met; that I don't care to hear about how the guys she dates are beneath her absurd and undeserved standards; that her fake laugh sounds like a zoo monkey being chainsawed in half; that I can hear the shitty techno through her dollar store headphones and yes, it sucks; that it's ridiculous to be disappointed that she can't take a three week vacation four months after being hired even if she mentioned she might go to Europe in the summer during her interview; that I don't watch to hear her complain about having to do hard work; that I won't pat her on the back for doing the ordinary; and that she sucks?
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it's Friday  
Osi Osi Osi OyOyOy : 5/27/2016 1:36 pm : link
and we're going to have an extended weekend...
.  
arcarsenal : 5/27/2016 1:36 pm : link
Send her the link to this thread?
Is she  
spike : 5/27/2016 1:37 pm : link
A millenial?
..  
26.2 : 5/27/2016 1:39 pm : link
who the hell can listen to techno and do work? do anything really?
of course she's a millenial  
GMenLTS : 5/27/2016 1:39 pm : link
.
Just tell her?  
Cam in MO : 5/27/2016 1:40 pm : link
Maybe in nicer terms.


Just  
spike : 5/27/2016 1:40 pm : link
Get her a work trophy
Start your own business  
Old Dirty Beckham : 5/27/2016 1:42 pm : link
Then you can fire people like her.
haven't heard the word "Techno"  
UConn4523 : 5/27/2016 1:43 pm : link
in ages, haha.
Is she also an OKC fan? :-)  
David in LA : 5/27/2016 1:43 pm : link
.
...  
26.2 : 5/27/2016 1:46 pm : link
is she at least hot? My guess is no, b/c her annoying BS is tolerable if she has big jubbly tits that bounce all around when she throws her little tantrums.
BHITB  
penkap75 : 5/27/2016 1:47 pm : link
.
Dollar store headphones  
Dave in Hoboken : 5/27/2016 1:48 pm : link
make her less than a person, to me.
You could always, sort of... I dunno...  
Curtis in VA : 5/27/2016 1:50 pm : link
not speak to her?
Blast her......  
Vin R : 5/27/2016 1:51 pm : link
.
RE: Is she  
santacruzom : 5/27/2016 1:52 pm : link
In comment 12973745 spike said:
Quote:
A millenial?


Yes, she is.

I did just have this fun interraction:

Me: Hey, I've got a customer who's got a bunch of questions that would better be handled by the developer team... can you take a look at this ticket?
Her: Just send them the link to our developer page
Me: it's not answering their questions
Her: you should be able to find the answers by sear...
Me (turning to other developer on our team): How about you, Sohaib? Do you feel like being helpful?

She did one of those "Awwww, that's such a mean joke!" things, but I wasn't really joking.
Saying something will just make it worse...  
x meadowlander : 5/27/2016 1:52 pm : link
So there's that. :)

Buy nice noise cancelling  
spike : 5/27/2016 1:53 pm : link
Headphones for her and yourself
go to taco bell  
pjcas18 : 5/27/2016 1:53 pm : link
buy one of their cheap soft chicken tacos, and before a long weekend like this one tape it to the underneath part of her desk.

I did this years ago and forgot about it. months later the person I did it too was rummaging through her cube because something smelled like sweat.

she couldn't find it for the life of her.

then she called over a fat, gigantically fat, co-worker (she was very pale and one year got badly sunburned so we called her hey-koolaid) got down on her hands and knees and was like a bloodhound and she found it almost instantly it had turned to maggots and the grease almost ate through the formica or whatever the cube was made out of.

I was surprised it took so long, and it was glorious.

the person who worked in that cube knew that whoever did it hated them.
RE: ...  
njm : 5/27/2016 1:53 pm : link
In comment 12973780 26.2 said:
Quote:
is she at least hot? My guess is no, b/c her annoying BS is tolerable if she has big jubbly tits that bounce all around when she throws her little tantrums.


Can't be hot if she has absurd and undeserved standards.

I like the participation trophy suggestion.
RE: You could always, sort of... I dunno...  
santacruzom : 5/27/2016 1:54 pm : link
In comment 12973785 Curtis in VA said:
Quote:
not speak to her?


She speaks to me... constantly! Usually she mumbles something into the plexiglass that separates our partitions while I'm busy working, and I don't even know for certain she's talking to me, and then she repeats herself with that, "What, are you deaf?" tone entitled people get when they're surprised you're not attuned to every word they speak 24/7.
I'm anticipating someone posting another thread  
David in LA : 5/27/2016 1:56 pm : link
"Male coworker: how do I tell him?"

All fucking year, I've had to listen to this guy brag about the Warriors. So now, I've been blasting shitty techno, and he never seems to stop.
Pretend to hit on her  
spike : 5/27/2016 1:57 pm : link
And she will want to stop interacting with you
RE: Pretend to hit on her  
njm : 5/27/2016 1:58 pm : link
In comment 12973805 spike said:
Quote:
And she will want to stop interacting with you


But HR will.
Wonder if she wrote something similar about you  
GiantFilthy : 5/27/2016 1:59 pm : link
on a different forum and the advice she received was to annoy you into quitting or relocating.
brag?  
santacruzom : 5/27/2016 1:59 pm : link
I don't think that word means what you think it means.
It's a joke  
David in LA : 5/27/2016 2:00 pm : link
lighten up Francis!
RE: Pretend to hit on her  
santacruzom : 5/27/2016 2:01 pm : link
In comment 12973805 spike said:
Quote:
And she will want to stop interacting with you


That wouldn't bode well for me. She was convinced that another recent hire was constantly staring at her whenever she'd leave or enter the room and was ready to complain until I managed to convince her that he's just an oddly alert guy who tends to be alerted by everyone who does that.
RE: RE: Pretend to hit on her  
Cam in MO : 5/27/2016 2:03 pm : link
In comment 12973816 santacruzom said:
Quote:
In comment 12973805 spike said:


Quote:


And she will want to stop interacting with you



That wouldn't bode well for me. She was convinced that another recent hire was constantly staring at her whenever she'd leave or enter the room and was ready to complain until I managed to convince her that he's just an oddly alert guy who tends to be alerted by everyone who does that.


Welp, it's your fault then, Bucky. You should have never had that much interaction with her to begin with.

Now you're stuck and she thinks you're her friend.


Is she a Thunder fan?  
Vin R : 5/27/2016 2:03 pm : link
.
I was joking too  
santacruzom : 5/27/2016 2:03 pm : link
I should have just posted the freaking gif

RE: RE: RE: Pretend to hit on her  
santacruzom : 5/27/2016 2:04 pm : link
In comment 12973818 Cam in MO said:
Quote:
In comment 12973816 santacruzom said:


Quote:


In comment 12973805 spike said:


Quote:


And she will want to stop interacting with you



That wouldn't bode well for me. She was convinced that another recent hire was constantly staring at her whenever she'd leave or enter the room and was ready to complain until I managed to convince her that he's just an oddly alert guy who tends to be alerted by everyone who does that.



Welp, it's your fault then, Bucky. You should have never had that much interaction with her to begin with.

Now you're stuck and she thinks you're her friend.



I know... I dug my own grave by being nice to her when she was hired (only three weeks after I was), and now I need to figure out how to climb out of it tactfully.
RE: go to taco bell  
muhajir : 5/27/2016 2:06 pm : link
In comment 12973796 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
buy one of their cheap soft chicken tacos, and before a long weekend like this one tape it to the underneath part of her desk.

I did this years ago and forgot about it. months later the person I did it too was rummaging through her cube because something smelled like sweat.

she couldn't find it for the life of her.

then she called over a fat, gigantically fat, co-worker (she was very pale and one year got badly sunburned so we called her hey-koolaid) got down on her hands and knees and was like a bloodhound and she found it almost instantly it had turned to maggots and the grease almost ate through the formica or whatever the cube was made out of.

I was surprised it took so long, and it was glorious.

the person who worked in that cube knew that whoever did it hated them.

Lmao@ like a blood hound
Just be  
spike : 5/27/2016 2:07 pm : link
Honest with her
RE: Is she  
Reb8thVA : 5/27/2016 2:08 pm : link
In comment 12973745 spike said:
Quote:
A millenial?


That was my first reaction as well.
Obviously,  
Randy in CT : 5/27/2016 2:10 pm : link
it should all start with blasting her in the butt.
I've tried dropping hints  
santacruzom : 5/27/2016 2:13 pm : link
Like always "being busy" when she wants to go to lunch so she can talk about her crazy weekend bullshit, or how the other developers are way lame, or how she really likes the guy she went on a date with but can't take him seriously despite the fact that he's an architect because he has a side job as a musician, but that hasn't worked.

I've never really had to blatantly tell someone I don't like them and that I don't want them to talk to me, especially someone I have to work with.
RE: I've tried dropping hints  
Ron from Ninerland : 5/27/2016 2:17 pm : link
In comment 12973831 santacruzom said:
Quote:
Like always "being busy" when she wants to go to lunch so she can talk about her crazy weekend bullshit, or how the other developers are way lame, or how she really likes the guy she went on a date with but can't take him seriously despite the fact that he's an architect because he has a side job as a musician, but that hasn't worked.

I've never really had to blatantly tell someone I don't like them and that I don't want them to talk to me, especially someone I have to work with.


Did you see the other thread about working from home ?
rational, logical advice is welcome  
santacruzom : 5/27/2016 2:25 pm : link
But as always when I rant about stuff like this, I'm really just ranting out loud.

Millennial + female = one freaking bad combination of a coworker.
I carry around a spray water bottle and shoot it at people when  
BrettNYG10 : 5/27/2016 2:28 pm : link
They talk too much. I start with snapping my fingers and saying no, but when it escalates I use the spray.

Highly recommended.
wrong thread, Ron  
Rocky369 : 5/27/2016 2:31 pm : link
read up on Johnny Depp. He knows how to tell them to piss off.
Send her a link  
Giants2012 : 5/27/2016 2:37 pm : link
to your thread
When I saw the thread title  
Big Al : 5/27/2016 2:42 pm : link
I thought you were assigned to tell her to more fully cover her tits in the workplace but I guess that would be HR.
If you don't have a significant other,  
Randy in CT : 5/27/2016 2:46 pm : link
take her up on her offer for lunch. Then just stare at her boobs the whole time as you converse with her. I think all outcomes would be pretty good.
have Draymond green  
dep026 : 5/27/2016 2:52 pm : link
Kick her in the cooch.
No idea whether serious, but if you are...  
Big Blue Blogger : 5/27/2016 2:52 pm : link
... DO NOT SAY ANYTHING TO HER.

Report to HR that your co-worker is creating a hostile working environment. Document your issues in factual, non-emotive terms, supported by as much objective data as possible (for example, hours spent on personal calls or with music playing audibly). HR will deal with it. That's their job, not yours.

If that doesn't work, BHITB.
This place is slipping  
larryflower37 : 5/27/2016 2:53 pm : link
Not one "bang her in the ass" comment.
RE: This place is slipping  
pjcas18 : 5/27/2016 2:54 pm : link
In comment 12973869 larryflower37 said:
Quote:
Not one "bang her in the ass" comment.


there are at least 3
RE: This place is slipping  
Rocky369 : 5/27/2016 2:55 pm : link
In comment 12973869 larryflower37 said:
Quote:
Not one "bang her in the ass" comment.


I think it may just be your eyesight.
act like you  
Les in TO : 5/27/2016 3:06 pm : link
are a CEO...no time for chit chat, talking about nonsense, gotta focus on your work/schedule. and as soon as there is a vacant office/desk/cubicle that you can possibly move to, take it!!
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