NFT: When did you finally arrive in your professional life?

you've probably had more responsibility already than many folks do their whole career.

at the right time. Timing and opportunity is a key, free will and circumstance. Beyond that, it was incremental. I landed my dream job at age 36. I'm sure there are many very capable people who for a number of reasons beyond their control never get the opportunity.

In comment 13004295 Moondawg said:

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you've probably had more responsibility already than many folks do their whole career.

Actually...I was talking to my wife about this, and I've always admitted that I was at best an average junior officer, who benefited greatly from having good people around me. For the first four years of my career, I knew what I was doing, but I was always in doubt of whether my decisions were the right decisions and how they may impact those around me and the mission. While I would like to say that it was just me being introspective, I have to admit that I didn't consistently have the confidence that other officers seemed to show. I mean, I masked it well, but there was always an internal doubt.

But when I deployed to Ramadi as an assistant team lead for an advisor team of 11, I found myself extremely confident in my actions. Not sure what made that particular deployment different (maybe it was just being out there on our own that forced me to feel that way), but I grew up a lot during that deployment. And while I was an average at best Lieutenant, I was a great Captain and find myself a pretty damn good Major. Even in my civilian capacity, my clients know that I'm the guy, who holds the entire operation together.

Figured out what i wanted to do between my junior and senior years in college. Worked for 15 years in NYC but never really engaged. Took the path of least resistance and had the talent and brains to half-ass it to the director level before 2009 blew up the world and I washed out.

Handled my personal life the same way with similar results.

I took what money I had managed to save and spent a couple of years as a ski bum. I coached, bartended, landscaped and got a really good perspective on life from the other side of the cash register. Had a great time until it got scary. Got my shit together, dedicated myself to becoming better at what I did and lucked into a really good situation that would allow me to fill in all of the gaps my career neglect had created. Sky's the limit now but I really took the idiot's path to get here.

and some ways i havent arrived yet.

my hunch is that realizing it fully, for me at least, may be a life's pursuit as well. where I am currently is directly attributable to being lucky with prior positions beginning and ending, good fortune in terms of relationships and timing, and also on a personal level that I'm married to a wonderful, smart, intelligent woman who everyone loves - including the folks that hired me.

not sure I have ever feel arrived. If I did, I may get lazy.

Simplistically, I think the questions for me are how do you measure yourself? What is success to you? Once those are answered, then you can put the effort in to pursue money, family, career, lifestyle, whatever it is that makes you satisfied.

Going over options for life after my current situation now because eventually this shit will come to a sudden halt.

(that was 1980) - became partner at age 32 and went from there. No complaints, it's been a long and good run.

told me I was bottom bitch

a combination of hard work and good timing is typically involved for one to "arrive" professionally IMHO.

I became a lead engineer 4 years of out college and became an engineering manager 7 years out of college at 28. A major company hiring took place the year I became a manager; I'd like to think because I had done very well as a lead engineer, plus, "right place at the right time".

Hiring in straight out of college with no engineering experience, I wondered whether I could cut it with other "rocket scientists". When I was named engineering manager of a key analysis team, I felt like I had "arrived".

.

professionally haven't done shit and I'm way too old to turn anything around but I don't care. I get to help people in my job and that makes me happy but my marriage is the apex of happiness that makes everything else worthwhile.

My wife OTOH, has an amazing career that keeps getting more challenging and rewarding, but she definitely could have married better.

I think when you arrive in your professional life, it's time to reboot and arrive again.

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I married well, really well oghwga : 12:46 pm : link : reply

Now I ain't sayin' oghwga gold digger
But...

there are many small steps that create your career.

But when I had my first couple of serious journal articles accepted in late grad school it was an important and gratifying milestone that gave me confidence that I can do this.

First was when I finished college and joined the Army to pay off my loans and let Uncle Sam teach me a trade I could do in the Summers when not teaching. After being in the Army for only A year I realized I wanted to become A Warrant Officer and stay until the Wife or the Army told me to get out.

I am coming up on another Big shift with my second look for CW5. I will Either make the rank or I will be told my services are no longer needed. If I am told to go, I will retire with 21 years and start a new chapter and new career. The choice will be to chase the money or to chase a job I think I will enjoy. I am hoping for a combination of the two.

that your professional life is a noine and that your personal life is a 2?

Non-humble humble brag.

but my personal life is at a 2.

In comment 13004404 Randy in CT said:

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that your professional life is a noine and that your personal life is a 2?

Damn you!

In comment 13004415 Jints in Carolina said:

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In comment 13004404 Randy in CT said: Quote: that your professional life is a noine and that your personal life is a 2? Damn you!

Eat my dust!!

In comment 13004408 Berrylish said:

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Non-humble humble brag.

Haha...I guess. But at least I didn't put it in the OP...I merely answered.

What a joke that was...in my defense I was young rather than immature...but anyways, I didn't get my real career going until I was 40 or so.

I'll preface this by saying I don't consider this a moment of "arrival" (and I agree with an earlier post that "arrival" is necessarily a tangible thing), more a moment when I gained confidence that's been an important piece in helping me mature quicker and "strap on the big boy pants", as they say.

June 1998. I was 28, and a young VP at Smith Barney. I ran the sales area at the time for the firm's proprietary money manager division, but in many ways was still finding my way, cutting my teeth, and working hard to show my superiors I was worthy of my role as well with an eye to future advancement. But I was still a pup in a lot of ways.

On that particular day, I was en route from NYC to Hartford, CT, to deliver a 2 hour presentation to 250 brokers on how my group could help them attract and close business. I had trained for months, but it was my first big presentation like that (which today doesn't faze me, but as a 28 year old entrusted to his first solo mission...I was a little nervous). Coincident to that, my father, in Boca Raton where he had moved, was going into the hospital for a scheduled heart bypass operation, which was to be fairly routine given it was his second one and the docs had the situation well in hand.

I had practiced for days, and was running through the presentation in the car again as I closed in on the location. 10 minutes away from the Hartford location, I got a phone call that changed everything for me. My stepmother was sobbing uncontrollably and I had to pull off the road. My father had suffered a massive stroke on the operating table and the docs said at the time he'd never speak or walk again. Not only my father, he was my best friend. I was speechless, so many emotions running through me. I ran a quick situation assessment and realized I had to stay calm. I was faced with the decision to turn around, hop a plane, and get to Florida ASAP...or, to fulfill my duty, this particular presentation to be looked at by my superiors as reflective of their trust in me and a shot for me to show they had the right person for the job. I also knew my father would have wanted me to take care of my obligations first.

I remember walking in to the auditorium, but not much else. I did my presentation, and there was a huge line afterwards of people wanting to let me know they thought I did a great job. To this day, I have no idea what I said, but I knew it would be a needed temporary distraction before facing the reality of what just happened. I then drove back to NY, packed a bag, and flew to see my dad. Not only did he survive, but he did walk again despite speech being an issue until he passed in late 2014.

Bottom line...my father was my touchstone for life advice. Once the stroke hit, it rendered his ability to provide the advice I so often looked towards for counsel an impossibility. Ultimately it was this day and situation that forced me to become self-reliant on making effective, non-distracted decisions, and that skill is something I view as incredibly important not only professionally but on a personal level. It has helped me carve out a nice life for my family and myself. I look at that as a moment I "arrived" at a higher level of maturity that's suited me well today.

can pursue to give you some confidence in your abilities?

I retired after many years of failure.

wasn't wholly appropriate or accurate. But it's great to see some very interesting responses.

Thanks!

In comment 13004473 Big Al said:

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I retired after many years of failure.

I am looking forward to that too!

That's a great story. Obviously, your Dad did a great job.

In comment 13004473 Big Al said:

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I retired after many years of failure.

Don't worry, your ability to fuck up hasn't ended

"When Tom Brady gave us (private) instruction on doing our job."


-John Jastremski and Jim McNally

about 10 minutes before the boss gets in.

"As far as my personal life goes, even after being married for seven years and with two little kids, I often feel like I have no clue "

I'll hazard a guess and say the Mrs ghostwrote that for you? :)

In comment 13004492 AP in Halfmoon said:

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That's a great story. Obviously, your Dad did a great job.

Thanks, AP. That's kind of you to say.

out of respect.

In comment 13004511 fkap said:

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"As far as my personal life goes, even after being married for seven years and with two little kids, I often feel like I have no clue " I'll hazard a guess and say the Mrs ghostwrote that for you? :)

I'm sure she would agree...but I do feel like I'm just winging it half the time when it comes to my personal life. Like I'm still an idiot kid trying to play adult with two little ones looking to me to keep them alive and not turn them into menaces.

Thankfully, I do have an amazing wife.

This is how I feel sometimes...

when someone thinks they know what they're doing is when they're wrong. only slight hyperbole. when you know that you don't know something is when you are wisest.

I have moved twice for my current company and I am in the middle of my 5th year with them. I figured starting a new branch and getting it to the top of the company in 3 years would help me get promoted into the next phase of my career... And I was wrong. They offered me the opportunity to run an office in a very tough market, which I accepted. On arrival I found out that I was not running the office at all, they have me reporting to someone who has been in the business for around a year now, and I just got laterally "promoted", so I no longer am eligible for my quarterly bonus. Last year they rolled out new year end bonuses in June. I'm not one to back down from a challenge, but giving me a new year goal that at the time was really in realistic to achieve since I had half way through it really pissed me off. Everytime I start making good money they figure out a way to take it back. Pretty over it, and I want to leave, but I am having a real hard time even applying to like 10 jobs a week.

like you have arrived complacency has set in and you're done as a person and we're done as a team.

you never arrive. ever. if you feel you have arrived you set new goals so you never arrive. until you die. then you're dead.

Retirement is a wonderful thing. I don't have to know shit... except the "to do" list.

In comment 13004584 pjcas18 said:

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like you have arrived complacency has set in and you're done as a person and we're done as a team. you never arrive. ever. if you feel you have arrived you set new goals so you never arrive. until you die. then you're dead.

Good point, "arrival" just means you're not going be going anywhere else....

In comment 13004633 WideRight said:

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In comment 13004584 pjcas18 said: Quote: like you have arrived complacency has set in and you're done as a person and we're done as a team. you never arrive. ever. if you feel you have arrived you set new goals so you never arrive. until you die. then you're dead. Good point, "arrival" just means you're not going be going anywhere else....

Yeah...as I've stated in my previous post, I think "arrive" was the wrong word. Maybe "found your voice, confidence, place...in your professional life" would have been a better way to put it. But I think most people got the gist of what was being posed in the OP.

In comment 13004650 RC02XX said:

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In comment 13004633 WideRight said: Quote: In comment 13004584 pjcas18 said: Quote: like you have arrived complacency has set in and you're done as a person and we're done as a team. you never arrive. ever. if you feel you have arrived you set new goals so you never arrive. until you die. then you're dead. Good point, "arrival" just means you're not going be going anywhere else.... Yeah...as I've stated in my previous post, I think "arrive" was the wrong word. Maybe "found your voice, confidence, place...in your professional life" would have been a better way to put it. But I think most people got the gist of what was being posed in the OP.

I was just messing around. I know what you meant.

I measure success in $$$ unfortunately since I don't have a career I'm passionate about, so I arrived when I switched to a commission based sales role and basically controlled my earning potential and from there kind of skyrocketed to the winner I am today.

I'm not a winner because I want to be one. I'm a winner because I've got strength and speed... kinda like a racehorse. It's about how involved I am in what's happening to me.

And I guess I felt I "arrived" after years of experience and seeking out personal development, but it's probably different for every profession. Good luck in your journey and never stop trying to improve.

And the bottom line is none of it matters. We're all going to die, sooner or later, just like our parents did and our children will.

There's no point to any of this except whatever value or meaning one assigns to it. And that's arbitrary, and in and of itself, meaningless as well.

Sure there's pleasure, both physical and mental, but there's also pain. Plenty of it.

I suppose the best thing to do is to grab onto some good old religion/spirituality and go into happy denial, and for those who can do that good for you. As a kid that worked, as an adult not so much.

So when "you arrive" is just another arbitrary marker you create so you can pat your self on the back with and sleep well at night.

Having said all that, I rather enjoy myself, as long as O.J. is in prison...

not a destination.

I'll arrive when I'm dead, thanks.

In comment 13005190 Wuphat said:

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not a destination. I'll arrive when I'm dead, thanks.

Never stop climbing until you retire.

a buddy of my brothers said you have to join the volunteer FD in my hometown in Jersey when I turned 21.

Drinking age in Jersey was 21 at the time, NY state, 18.

Any way I was hooked.

Through a lot of hard work and luck climbed to the top of the heap at the right time with many accomplishments.

In retirement, I still give back to the community as an elected official and volunteer when the shit hits the fan locally, or multi statewide. I can also plug into the system nationwide if it gets bigger.

My life was blessed, not only with my family life, but with my chosen career.

We expanded to reach a worldwide market and network that also had the desired effect of gaining additional highly skilled man power to compete for bigger jobs. Been doing well ever since

moved to Florida and became a paid firefighter and after a lot of schooling became a director on the board of Fire Instructors as well as other state and regional appointments.

director of operations of a major shipping company, at 7:15 in the morning, without an appointment to ask for a position as 2nd in command of a cargo ship. I had been recommended by a couple of captains and advised by them to go speak to the boss. He was a grumpy old cuss that very few liked or wanted to work for when he was captain.
Long story, short, he hired me. I never had so much fun as I did when I was promoted to that position. After the first assignment he sent me to a new ship under construction, approximately 4 times bigger ship, 1/2 the crew and one less officer under me. At that point I knew I had found my niche. Getting to captain was just an extension of that initial assignment as chief officer.

In comment 13004530 fkap said:

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when someone thinks they know what they're doing is when they're wrong. only slight hyperbole. when you know that you don't know something is when you are wisest.

Wow!

In comment 13005337 BMac said:

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In comment 13004530 fkap said: Quote: when someone thinks they know what they're doing is when they're wrong. only slight hyperbole. when you know that you don't know something is when you are wisest. Yeah. Wow!

I was a college drop out. I'm 51 now but back in my 20's I wanted to be a rock singer. I had a band and we were a good cover unit. Got a girl pregnant who I eventually married. I cut my hair and became a low level plastics salesman but my business career was launched at 13k per year.

I worked my way up from degree-less customer service rep to purchasing manager at my current company. I've been here for 16 years. Started out as the number 4 buyer and now I hold a position that would not be held by anyone else without a degree. The moment of truth came in 2010 when my company moved and I managed the buying and new building contracts and did a great job. I'm set here for the remaining 17 years I plan to work.

In comment 13004650 RC02XX said:

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In comment 13004633 WideRight said: Quote: In comment 13004584 pjcas18 said: Quote: like you have arrived complacency has set in and you're done as a person and we're done as a team. you never arrive. ever. if you feel you have arrived you set new goals so you never arrive. until you die. then you're dead. Good point, "arrival" just means you're not going be going anywhere else.... Yeah...as I've stated in my previous post, I think "arrive" was the wrong word. Maybe "found your voice, confidence, place...in your professional life" would have been a better way to put it. But I think most people got the gist of what was being posed in the OP.

Confidence? Maybe 2 or 3 years after grad school ended. I still have plenty of things I want to accomplish over the next 15 or 20 years. I am happy with what has transpired so far, but I still have a lot left to do.

Warren Buffet tell me "great presentation".

.

I worked for a big law firm the past 15 years in IT then project management. It wasn't a particularly accomplished position, but I was a Director with a good salary and benefits, and I was great at my job. Figured I was pretty well on my way to a Then out of nowhere I was fired, no real explanation, literally no one said good bye or offered to help me in any way. Pretty fucked up. This past year I've been wondering around trying to figure out what's next. So I think about this question a lot or a variation which is more like "have I missed the boat entirely".

to move from private law practice and the partnership track at a big law firm to in house. I took a pay cut, I went from being a profit generator in a fancy downtown building, with a good size office including a great view of the lake from the 43rd floor, that had assistants, document specialists and IT staffat my beck and call to a cost centre that had no one at my beck and call, in a windowless tiny office in a soulless suburban commercial complex away from the action of downtown. That said, I provided the same level of service to my internal clients than I did to external ones. I enjoy being a legal generalist, being able to dive into new areas of law that I wouldn't have the luxury of doing being billed ou at $600/hour. I'm able to sleep 7-8 hours a night, work out as much as I'd like and my weekends are my own. I'm happy, I get great reviews, I've been given increased responsibility, and one day, hopefully I'll find a chief legal officer/general counsel type position.

8:00am this morning. About the same time as yesterday.

received a letter from our CEO to stop pissing off Steve Jobs, then CEO of NeXT. Then the CEO concluded offline "nice work".

a heart attack and I would have to take over as Operations Manager until they could find a replacement. I started taking the phone calls and doing the job and after about 1/2 hour my self-confidence soared. I thought to myself "Hey I can do this". About an hour later two senior officials in the company showed up and watched me work for about 20 minutes. They said to me "You don't look like you need any help". At that moment I knew I had arrived.

In comment 13005373 kicker said:

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Warren Buffet tell me "great presentation".

I dont care what DC told you. A small one man fighter is a threat and you should have a tighter defense.

and this may sound ridiculous but the one clear answer to me is when I was only eighteen had the opportunity to travel, work with, and be trained by the best salesman I ever met in my life. He was a true salesman and was as enthused to mentor and teach me as I was to learn. I was only eighteen at the time and only worked for him for one year but from that point on I fell in love with the art of sales and because of the things I learned from him was able to greatly succeed in what I loved doing for the rest of my life. There wasn't a sales position I held where I wasn't told I was the best salesman that they employed.

I continued to always try hard to learn from each and every opportunity I had throughout my career but that one single man passed on to me a skill set that I could build upon and become the foundation which eventually led to my opening my own business and succeed beyond my wildest dreams.

Because of his example I have always tried to do the same and mentor people while passing along the knowledge and skills I have learned. I found that to be even more satisfying than any personal success I had.

In comment 13008541 steve in ky said:

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and this may sound ridiculous but the one clear answer to me is when I was only eighteen had the opportunity to travel, work with, and be trained by the best salesman I ever met in my life. He was a true salesman and was as enthused to mentor and teach me as I was to learn. I was only eighteen at the time and only worked for him for one year but from that point on I fell in love with the art of sales and because of the things I learned from him was able to greatly succeed in what I loved doing for the rest of my life. There wasn't a sales position I held where I wasn't told I was the best salesman that they employed. I continued to always try hard to learn from each and every opportunity I had throughout my career but that one single man passed on to me a skill set that I could build upon and become the foundation which eventually led to my opening my own business and succeed beyond my wildest dreams. Because of his example I have always tried to do the same and mentor people while passing along the knowledge and skills I have learned. I found that to be even more satisfying than any personal success I had.

Steve - I've been in sales my whole career in one capacity or another but other than one short lived seminal moment I'm don't think I've ever felt that I've "arrived". If it's not too forward I'd be interested in knowing what your mentor taught you and what you learned over the years on your own to make you successful. I'm always looking to incrementally improve and learn wherever and whenever I can. Suffice it to say, I don't feel that I have arrived and I'm not sure that I ever willl.

But last year I was promoted into a position managing the production for our companies largest client. I've been with the company for 10 years and always felt like an after thought. The confidence sky rocketed and my drive changed from being noticed to being relied on.

code blue, brought the person back... yep... dazzit.

arriving at the scene.

In comment 13008684 Berrylish said:

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code blue, brought the person back... yep... dazzit.

Awesome!

I just saved a life...no big deal.

Drops mic and walks away...:)

In comment 13008684 Berrylish said:

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code blue, brought the person back... yep... dazzit.

More satisfying than assisting on a root canal?

In comment 13008684 Berrylish said:

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code blue, brought the person back... yep... dazzit.

Awesome - well down. Damn, this shit really works!

Way better than oral surgery and root canals and all that stuff. But waaaaayyyyyy scarier.

Like a lot.

Fear. Every day.

In comment 13009103 Berrylish said:

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Way better than oral surgery and root canals and all that stuff. But waaaaayyyyyy scarier. Like a lot. Fear. Every day.

Almost every nurse that I have met have been amazing. Truly incredible people.

The more traditional definition in the sense that I got a corner office somewhere or a VP title, not yet. But I'm 29 so that's not overly shocking.

You definition I'll say in my MBA internship. I've had three what I'd call real jobs in my life. That excludes undergrad internships and working with my mom in a medical office when I was 16 and doing things like filing. So my first job I thought went well and my boss liked me. But my second job by boss while a nice guy for some things was a bitch to work for. Not to go into long detail but he would insinuate that I was dumb or incompetent on a semi-regular basis and would often compare me unfavorably to my coworkers. So after some time I started to believe I was dumb and incompetent. So in part because I felt like I was in a career rut I ended up applying to business schools and ended up going to a good school.

For my MBA internship I was worried that I would be in over my head because of how dumb and incompetent I supposedly was. But instead while working for the best boss in my life and one of the smartest people I ever met I got mostly positive feedback (with some constructive criticism mixed in). Apparently people from all the teams liked working with me. I was seen as a sort of expert on the client because the company was a B2B company that serviced the industry that I worked in for over 5 years. So people from the CEO down would listen to my input. It was the most empowering experience of my life. That feeling of empowerment and appreciation only compares with a few experiences I've had in my life. So I think going forward I could always lean on my experience in my last job and build from there. Now I just need a job, haha.

In comment 13009219 RC02XX said:

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In comment 13009103 Berrylish said: Quote: Way better than oral surgery and root canals and all that stuff. But waaaaayyyyyy scarier. Like a lot. Fear. Every day. Almost every nurse that I have met have been amazing. Truly incredible people.

Yes the are.

Two of my Paramedic's went on to become RN's. One a Nurse Practitioner.

They work the FD and the hospital full time.

Guess what department they work in?

After years of working at a job I hated and led nowhere, and following a series of failed relationships, I was recently fortunate to take several steps in both that have left me much happier.

A couple of years ago I met the love of my life while she was on a temp assignment in NY with my he Veterans Administration. We dated long distance for a while, traveling back and forth. About 4 months ago, I finally built up the courage to take the chance of moving out to Northern California to be with her - leaving behind everything I've known (job, family, friends, etc).

Meeting her has been the singular best and biggest change in my life.

Shortly after settling in at NorCal, I left the company I was working with (following the initial transfer) for work I now enjoy w/ a higher ceiling.

But none of it would have been possible had she not come into my life and given me the impetus to made these changes.

the moment I walked in the room.