The thread regarding aging, maturity, and nostalgia got me thinking yesterday on when I actually felt that I had turned the corner in my professional life. While there are those, who hit the ground running the moment they enter their professions, some of us take a little more time (or a lot more time) before we feel that we've arrived professionally. And I don't mean that we've finally been promoted to a high enough position to feel that we've accomplished something but rather that we feel more confidence in our decisions and actions than doubt.
Did you have a specific job or position that helped you to arrive at that revelation regarding your professional life?
As far as my personal life goes, even after being married for seven years and with two little kids, I often feel like I have no clue what I'm doing and am just winging it as best as I can. So obviously I need more time to turn that corner (if I ever will).
Actually...I was talking to my wife about this, and I've always admitted that I was at best an average junior officer, who benefited greatly from having good people around me. For the first four years of my career, I knew what I was doing, but I was always in doubt of whether my decisions were the right decisions and how they may impact those around me and the mission. While I would like to say that it was just me being introspective, I have to admit that I didn't consistently have the confidence that other officers seemed to show. I mean, I masked it well, but there was always an internal doubt.
But when I deployed to Ramadi as an assistant team lead for an advisor team of 11, I found myself extremely confident in my actions. Not sure what made that particular deployment different (maybe it was just being out there on our own that forced me to feel that way), but I grew up a lot during that deployment. And while I was an average at best Lieutenant, I was a great Captain and find myself a pretty damn good Major. Even in my civilian capacity, my clients know that I'm the guy, who holds the entire operation together.
Handled my personal life the same way with similar results.
I took what money I had managed to save and spent a couple of years as a ski bum. I coached, bartended, landscaped and got a really good perspective on life from the other side of the cash register. Had a great time until it got scary. Got my shit together, dedicated myself to becoming better at what I did and lucked into a really good situation that would allow me to fill in all of the gaps my career neglect had created. Sky's the limit now but I really took the idiot's path to get here.
my hunch is that realizing it fully, for me at least, may be a life's pursuit as well. where I am currently is directly attributable to being lucky with prior positions beginning and ending, good fortune in terms of relationships and timing, and also on a personal level that I'm married to a wonderful, smart, intelligent woman who everyone loves - including the folks that hired me.
Simplistically, I think the questions for me are how do you measure yourself? What is success to you? Once those are answered, then you can put the effort in to pursue money, family, career, lifestyle, whatever it is that makes you satisfied.
I became a lead engineer 4 years of out college and became an engineering manager 7 years out of college at 28. A major company hiring took place the year I became a manager; I'd like to think because I had done very well as a lead engineer, plus, "right place at the right time".
Hiring in straight out of college with no engineering experience, I wondered whether I could cut it with other "rocket scientists". When I was named engineering manager of a key analysis team, I felt like I had "arrived".
My wife OTOH, has an amazing career that keeps getting more challenging and rewarding, but she definitely could have married better.
I think when you arrive in your professional life, it's time to reboot and arrive again.
oghwga : 12:46 pm : link : reply
Now I ain't sayin' oghwga gold digger
But...
But when I had my first couple of serious journal articles accepted in late grad school it was an important and gratifying milestone that gave me confidence that I can do this.
I am coming up on another Big shift with my second look for CW5. I will Either make the rank or I will be told my services are no longer needed. If I am told to go, I will retire with 21 years and start a new chapter and new career. The choice will be to chase the money or to chase a job I think I will enjoy. I am hoping for a combination of the two.
Damn you!
Quote:
that your professional life is a noine and that your personal life is a 2?
Damn you!
Haha...I guess. But at least I didn't put it in the OP...I merely answered.
June 1998. I was 28, and a young VP at Smith Barney. I ran the sales area at the time for the firm's proprietary money manager division, but in many ways was still finding my way, cutting my teeth, and working hard to show my superiors I was worthy of my role as well with an eye to future advancement. But I was still a pup in a lot of ways.
On that particular day, I was en route from NYC to Hartford, CT, to deliver a 2 hour presentation to 250 brokers on how my group could help them attract and close business. I had trained for months, but it was my first big presentation like that (which today doesn't faze me, but as a 28 year old entrusted to his first solo mission...I was a little nervous). Coincident to that, my father, in Boca Raton where he had moved, was going into the hospital for a scheduled heart bypass operation, which was to be fairly routine given it was his second one and the docs had the situation well in hand.
I had practiced for days, and was running through the presentation in the car again as I closed in on the location. 10 minutes away from the Hartford location, I got a phone call that changed everything for me. My stepmother was sobbing uncontrollably and I had to pull off the road. My father had suffered a massive stroke on the operating table and the docs said at the time he'd never speak or walk again. Not only my father, he was my best friend. I was speechless, so many emotions running through me. I ran a quick situation assessment and realized I had to stay calm. I was faced with the decision to turn around, hop a plane, and get to Florida ASAP...or, to fulfill my duty, this particular presentation to be looked at by my superiors as reflective of their trust in me and a shot for me to show they had the right person for the job. I also knew my father would have wanted me to take care of my obligations first.
I remember walking in to the auditorium, but not much else. I did my presentation, and there was a huge line afterwards of people wanting to let me know they thought I did a great job. To this day, I have no idea what I said, but I knew it would be a needed temporary distraction before facing the reality of what just happened. I then drove back to NY, packed a bag, and flew to see my dad. Not only did he survive, but he did walk again despite speech being an issue until he passed in late 2014.
Bottom line...my father was my touchstone for life advice. Once the stroke hit, it rendered his ability to provide the advice I so often looked towards for counsel an impossibility. Ultimately it was this day and situation that forced me to become self-reliant on making effective, non-distracted decisions, and that skill is something I view as incredibly important not only professionally but on a personal level. It has helped me carve out a nice life for my family and myself. I look at that as a moment I "arrived" at a higher level of maturity that's suited me well today.
Thanks!
I am looking forward to that too!
Don't worry, your ability to fuck up hasn't ended
-John Jastremski and Jim McNally
I'll hazard a guess and say the Mrs ghostwrote that for you? :)
I'll hazard a guess and say the Mrs ghostwrote that for you? :)
I'm sure she would agree...but I do feel like I'm just winging it half the time when it comes to my personal life. Like I'm still an idiot kid trying to play adult with two little ones looking to me to keep them alive and not turn them into menaces.
Thankfully, I do have an amazing wife.
This is how I feel sometimes...
you never arrive. ever. if you feel you have arrived you set new goals so you never arrive. until you die. then you're dead.
you never arrive. ever. if you feel you have arrived you set new goals so you never arrive. until you die. then you're dead.
Good point, "arrival" just means you're not going be going anywhere else....
Quote:
like you have arrived complacency has set in and you're done as a person and we're done as a team.
you never arrive. ever. if you feel you have arrived you set new goals so you never arrive. until you die. then you're dead.
Good point, "arrival" just means you're not going be going anywhere else....
Yeah...as I've stated in my previous post, I think "arrive" was the wrong word. Maybe "found your voice, confidence, place...in your professional life" would have been a better way to put it. But I think most people got the gist of what was being posed in the OP.
Quote:
In comment 13004584 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
like you have arrived complacency has set in and you're done as a person and we're done as a team.
you never arrive. ever. if you feel you have arrived you set new goals so you never arrive. until you die. then you're dead.
Good point, "arrival" just means you're not going be going anywhere else....
Yeah...as I've stated in my previous post, I think "arrive" was the wrong word. Maybe "found your voice, confidence, place...in your professional life" would have been a better way to put it. But I think most people got the gist of what was being posed in the OP.
I was just messing around. I know what you meant.
I measure success in $$$ unfortunately since I don't have a career I'm passionate about, so I arrived when I switched to a commission based sales role and basically controlled my earning potential and from there kind of skyrocketed to the winner I am today.
I'm not a winner because I want to be one. I'm a winner because I've got strength and speed... kinda like a racehorse. It's about how involved I am in what's happening to me.
There's no point to any of this except whatever value or meaning one assigns to it. And that's arbitrary, and in and of itself, meaningless as well.
Sure there's pleasure, both physical and mental, but there's also pain. Plenty of it.
I suppose the best thing to do is to grab onto some good old religion/spirituality and go into happy denial, and for those who can do that good for you. As a kid that worked, as an adult not so much.
So when "you arrive" is just another arbitrary marker you create so you can pat your self on the back with and sleep well at night.
Having said all that, I rather enjoy myself, as long as O.J. is in prison...
I'll arrive when I'm dead, thanks.
I'll arrive when I'm dead, thanks.
Never stop climbing until you retire.
Drinking age in Jersey was 21 at the time, NY state, 18.
Any way I was hooked.
Through a lot of hard work and luck climbed to the top of the heap at the right time with many accomplishments.
In retirement, I still give back to the community as an elected official and volunteer when the shit hits the fan locally, or multi statewide. I can also plug into the system nationwide if it gets bigger.
My life was blessed, not only with my family life, but with my chosen career.