Archived Thread

Why Your Team Sucks, Cowboys edition

Greg from LI : 7/28/2016 2:45 pm

Quote:

And Sean Lee hurt himself AGAIN. Can someone get this poor bastard some retirement papers already? Here is an actual headline about Sean Lee from this offseason:

Cowboys linebacker Sean Lee’s dream is to play all 16 games for Super Bowl contender

Jesus, what a sad dream. “Inspiring! NFL Player Dreams Of Not Dying!”

Link - ( New Window )

Is Sean Lee actually hurt or was this just a blurt? Â

SGMen : 7/28/2016 2:53 pm : link

When healthy, he is their best player on defense.

I agree about Romo: he is a hit away from retirement.

I love the fact that Jerry Jones has his hand in so much and messes up due to his ego. He is truly my favorite owner followed by Dan "the man" Snyder in Washington.

I also didn't know RB McFadden broke his elbow in that manner. Disasters all off-season for them. But we had ours last year with JPP.

think they were talking about last season Â

Greg from LI : 7/28/2016 2:59 pm : link

The defense has more holes than a pair of Plaxico Burress’ sweatpants Â

Vin R : 7/28/2016 3:05 pm : link

Holy shit hahahahaha

The opener had me laughing. Drew Magary is the man. Â

guitarguybs12 : 7/28/2016 3:05 pm : link

Quote:

Your 2015 record: 4-12. Karma-wise, 4-12 is the ideal record for any team that signs girlfriend-tosser Greg Hardy and then bends over backwards to cover for him as he jacks off at his locker to Gisele Bündchen, shows up late to practice, drives away from media scrutiny in a white Ferrari, gets in public fights with the coaching staff, and puts more effort into his stupid eye black than into rushing the passer. You would think it’s impossible to shame a team owned by Jerry Jones, but it finally happened last year. I’m almost disappointed that they cut him loose. I was hoping (expecting) that they’d double down and make him player/defensive coordinator.

Am i the only one Â

Old Dirty Beckham : 7/28/2016 3:11 pm : link

who doesnt really find these all that funny?

This was great Â

robbieballs2003 : 7/28/2016 3:13 pm : link

Quote:

The Cowboys are a perfect avatar for Dallas, a city that is both large and utterly pointless, surrounded by shithead housewives with Make America Great Again hats, bad roots, and Botox injected directly into their brains. This is a city where a woman was mauled to death by a pack of wild dogs. In 2016! Knowing Dallas, they probably treated the dogs for their injuries first. I hope that, when the aliens come, they make vaporizing the Metroplex a priority.

Got a few chuckles Â

mrvax : 7/28/2016 3:13 pm : link

but it's getting old.

Well, dogs are pretty important, tbh.. Â

Dave in Hoboken : 7/28/2016 3:17 pm : link

LOL Â

Trainmaster : 7/28/2016 4:23 pm : link

Quote:

... I know that Jerry would still love to sign Johnny Effin Football even if he showed up to the Cowboys offices with a needle hanging out of his arm and a dead hooker in the trunk of the car that he crashed into the light pole on the way in.

We must, Â

oldog : 7/28/2016 5:15 pm : link

win opener.

In order to fulfill his dream, Lee is not only going to have ... Â

Boy Cord : 7/28/2016 7:38 pm : link

... to stay healthy, he is going to have to go to another team. The Cowboys are not a Super Bowl contender.

What's that make? Â

Mike B from JC : 7/29/2016 6:42 am : link

4 suspended and how many hurt. Romo, is a injury waiting to happen. Nothing better than the sour look on Jones face, when the cowturds lose again.

That was great Â

AP in Halfmoon : 7/29/2016 7:51 am : link

They nailed it

Sean Lee.. Â

FatMan in Charlotte : 7/29/2016 8:47 am : link

has always been a BBI IQ test.

People treat him as if he's one of the most dangerous defenders out there, but if he was a Giant, those same people would be calling to cut him every year for not being able to stay on the field. Just look at the way Beason was treated here.

Lee is a very good player when healthy. Which means he's rarely any good at all.