Is standing in the hallway talking to a female colleague while you put on your belt and tuck in your shirt an example of male privilege? I didn't think much of it at all, until someone got triggered this morning. I haven't even had my coffee yet.
of when people at my office are called a different name in email, some get furious. Happens to me all the time and I couldn't care less.
If I had a dollar for every time my last name is misspelled in correspondence after a phone conversation I'd be giving Gates and Buffett a run for their money. Just shrug it off like you did.
what's this called?
My buddy took that pic yesterday, commuting home on a train in Israel. "The dark side of putting outlets on public transportation."
It was on a tech podcast. The woman's explanation for what it was horrified me.
Basically to avoid micro-aggressions - never assume anything about anyone ever and never say anything ever to anyone you don't know already know everything about. Speak only in vague terms and only to people you know.
but less benign than you think. Certainly uncouth. What about zipping your fly (that actually goes both ways, since an unzipped fly is aggressive). What about opening your pants to tuck? What about slightly lowering them?
I dont re-tuck even in front of male colleagues. I wait until I have a little privacy.
RE: I actually finally heard the word(s) - micro-aggression
It was on a tech podcast. The woman's explanation for what it was horrified me.
Basically to avoid micro-aggressions - never assume anything about anyone ever and never say anything ever to anyone you don't know already know everything about. Speak only in vague terms and only to people you know.
Also: spend no time with oversensitive people who wouldn't hesitate to destroy you for hurting their feelings. In short, avoid crybullies.
puts on their belt and tucks their shirt in at work while in a hallway speaking to a female? Anything out of the ordinary is subject to a heightened awareness. If a woman was adjusting her bra in a hallway in front of men I'm sure somebody would do a double take b/c the action isn't ordinary.
Then again, I've seen some colleagues snort a line in clear view of many and nobody blinked.
puts on their belt and tucks their shirt in at work while in a hallway speaking to a female? Anything out of the ordinary is subject to a heightened awareness. If a woman was adjusting her bra in a hallway in front of men I'm sure somebody would do a double take b/c the action isn't ordinary.
Then again, I've seen some colleagues snort a line in clear view of many and nobody blinked.
You should not be grooming yourself in public, in general. You are putting people in your personal space and they may not want to be there.
is how easy it is get someone so ass-hurt and straight up mad over little to nothing. I have a great time with it in my day to day life.
I know. It's incredible. Granted it's a no class, stupid thing to do, but was it that bad to cause any sane person to turn redder than her shirt with bulging eyeballs anger?
I would routinely unbutton my pants at my desk. I was project manager for 10 developers so there was no worry. We all know that women can't code so there was no one to offend.
I think you can make judgments about both parties here
yeah, it's probably odd to put on the belt and tucking in the short. Although, I've seen tons of guys tightening their shirts a bit in public (I am sure I've done it myself). Using someone's above example, I've seen many ladies adjusting their bra straps in public and pulling out wedgies as well. Heck, I used to work in a place where people cam in early to punch the clock and then take a half hour to put on their make-up from scratch at their desk. Now that was weird because they all looked like shit when they came and then (some anyway) turned to hot a little while later.
But you see these things, and you make a note about the person in your head and normal people move on and keep quiet. To make a public scene about it in response is way worse IMO. You've got to be a special kind of disturbed.
That you can't finish getting dressed at home ? Or in the bathroom at work ? You sound like an inappropriate douchebag who should get kicked in your male privileges with one of my heels.
Wait... You locked your office with her inside with you and then with your undone shirt took of your unzipped pants and belt and retucked your shirt?
I can see her point...
Now if you mean you locked your office from the hallway and adjusted yourself in the hallway that's just moderately rude more than anything. Assuming your dick wasn't out of course.
I was leaving my office to see another jeweler and locked up
I was outside in the hallway and tucked my shirt in. I didn't unzip my pants, just loosened the belt enough to tuck the shirt back in, and redid the belt. It's not like a I dropped trousers. I was in a rush and thought nothing of it.
not male privilege. A woman fixing a wardrobe issue might be in bad taste or immodest but unless it is couple with something more I doubt most men are triggered, and unless you're regularly sexually harassing women, if you're generally demure and respectful, I would imagine most would decline to find it offensive.
RE: I was leaving my office to see another jeweler and locked up I was outside in the hallway and tucked my shirt in. I didn't unzip my pants, just loosened the belt enough to tuck the shirt back in, and redid the belt. It's not like a I dropped trousers. I was in a rush and thought nothing of it.
This certainly changes the calculus. Was it a pick, or a scratch...? Were there any sounds resembling primal grunts...?
microaggressions, and the general culture of aggrievance will continue going forward or will fade away? Because if it's going to continue on its present trajectory, I don't want to be around to see where it leads. What a miserable world we'd live in.
BTW, pants tucking was kind of dumb under the circumstances described. I wouldn't handle it that way. A little more discretion was called for, but if somebody reacted it in a pissed manner spouting "male privilege" I'd be inclined to tell her to fuck off.
I do find it interesting to see your stance on this.
I do find it interesting to see your stance on this.
Right?
If I had a dollar for every time my last name is misspelled in correspondence after a phone conversation I'd be giving Gates and Buffett a run for their money. Just shrug it off like you did.
Broads have privileges.
This
My buddy took that pic yesterday, commuting home on a train in Israel. "The dark side of putting outlets on public transportation."
(more inappopriate than offensive really)
Basically to avoid micro-aggressions - never assume anything about anyone ever and never say anything ever to anyone you don't know already know everything about. Speak only in vague terms and only to people you know.
I dont re-tuck even in front of male colleagues. I wait until I have a little privacy.
Basically to avoid micro-aggressions - never assume anything about anyone ever and never say anything ever to anyone you don't know already know everything about. Speak only in vague terms and only to people you know.
Also: spend no time with oversensitive people who wouldn't hesitate to destroy you for hurting their feelings. In short, avoid crybullies.
Then again, I've seen some colleagues snort a line in clear view of many and nobody blinked.
Then again, I've seen some colleagues snort a line in clear view of many and nobody blinked.
You should not be grooming yourself in public, in general. You are putting people in your personal space and they may not want to be there.
^
This
So if, on a windy day, I comb my hair after walking into a building it's a microaggression?
Is the young woman overreacting? Definitely
Then again, I've seen some colleagues snort a line in clear view of many and nobody blinked. [/quote]
Where the fuck do you work and are they hiring?
I know. It's incredible. Granted it's a no class, stupid thing to do, but was it that bad to cause any sane person to turn redder than her shirt with bulging eyeballs anger?
But you see these things, and you make a note about the person in your head and normal people move on and keep quiet. To make a public scene about it in response is way worse IMO. You've got to be a special kind of disturbed.
Wait... You locked your office with her inside with you and then with your undone shirt took of your unzipped pants and belt and retucked your shirt?
I can see her point...
Now if you mean you locked your office from the hallway and adjusted yourself in the hallway that's just moderately rude more than anything. Assuming your dick wasn't out of course.
Agreed. And for some reason I keep thinking of the Niemoller quote in the context of the PC police: "And then they came for me"
This certainly changes the calculus. Was it a pick, or a scratch...? Were there any sounds resembling primal grunts...?
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mostly because I've always considered David to be more the triggeree type than the triggerer. But, it's the internet...
Agreed. And for some reason I keep thinking of the Niemoller quote in the context of the PC police: "And then they came for me"
+1 I suspect it goes to needing to validate that he wasn't the bad guy in this situation. He went to the place where he knew he'd get some support.
BTW, pants tucking was kind of dumb under the circumstances described. I wouldn't handle it that way. A little more discretion was called for, but if somebody reacted it in a pissed manner spouting "male privilege" I'd be inclined to tell her to fuck off.
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In comment 13241671 Bill L said:
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mostly because I've always considered David to be more the triggeree type than the triggerer. But, it's the internet...
Agreed. And for some reason I keep thinking of the Niemoller quote in the context of the PC police: "And then they came for me"
+1 I suspect it goes to needing to validate that he wasn't the bad guy in this situation. He went to the place where he knew he'd get some support.
Appreciate the armchair psychoanalysis, but I only asked because I frankly had no idea this was a clear example of male privilege.
Is it a privilege or is it how other people want to be treated? If the former, then the implication is that others who are fine, just not privileged.
I just love all these new terms so people can place themselves into an advantageous position and that is all that it is - gaining an advantage.
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mostly because I've always considered David to be more the triggeree type than the triggerer. But, it's the internet...
Agreed. And for some reason I keep thinking of the Niemoller quote in the context of the PC police: "And then they came for me"
I dont think the situations are all that analogous.