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NFT: Getting Kids to Sleep

ImThatGuy : 1/21/2017 9:39 pm
My 5 year old and 2.5 year old share a room and individually they will go to sleep fine but when they go to bed at the same time, they cause a ruckus. We are currently an hour+ into bedtime and they just continue to egg each other on. They more or less sleep fine thru the night but they think now it's party time.

So far they've lost TV/iPad privileges, no dessert after dinner and stuffed animals are starting to be removed. But they continue to go nuts.

Any suggestions (ideally we would put them in separate rooms but won't work now).
This  
robbieballs2003 : 1/21/2017 9:43 pm : link
......  
Micko : 1/21/2017 10:01 pm : link
Bed time sucks. Let me know if u figure it out. Lol
did you threaten  
pjcas18 : 1/21/2017 10:07 pm : link
them with Santa? If Santa doesn't work and you're Catholic you can try Jesus.

Once they don't fear Santa or Jesus you may as well move out, you're done as a parent.
RE: did you threaten  
ImThatGuy : 1/21/2017 10:11 pm : link
In comment 13335159 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
them with Santa?


Ha wish I could but we are Jewish
Tell them about Sodom and Gamora  
Hammer : 1/21/2017 10:19 pm : link
That'll do the trick. :-)
________  
I am Ninja : 1/21/2017 10:21 pm : link
Take naps away. My 4.5 yr old gets to sleep at bedtime bc he can make it thru w/o a nap. My 2.5 year old will give himself a nap (literally, go up to his room at go to sleep) and so, at 1020p, he is here next to me. Its tough.
consider  
spike : 1/21/2017 10:23 pm : link
putting one to sleep (younger) an hour earlier than the older?

Routine routine routine  
Young Elijah : 1/21/2017 10:36 pm : link
We dont deviate from it under any circumstance. With a 1 and 3 year old. We dont joint bath time at 7ish, theyll watch a PBS show. Little guy gets tossed in his crib and left to cry it out until he knocks out.

Older one takes some work, a game of hide and seek where he tells you where to hide and where hes hiding, a few puzzles, 2 books, some story telling and some hair scratching - but hes down by 8:30-8:45.

I consider us a bit extreme with this because we will avoid going out (prefer having people over) not to disturb the balance but overall it works. I think within a day or two of setting the routine the kids understand the boundaries and expectations.
A few thoughts  
steve in ky : 1/21/2017 10:54 pm : link
First off they will eventually tire themselves out if left alone. Right now you have kind of created a little game of "us against them" which can be a little fun and excited among siblings. If you put them in and simply leave them alone after enough nights they will likley fall into a more regular routine.

Make sure they get enough physical activities during the day to where they are physically tired at night.

Read them some bedtime stories. Laying there listening to them and imagining it in their minds will calm them and tire them down.

Along those lines if you have any children stories on cd you may want to play that for them. As they lay there listening they will be more quiet and inclined to drift off.

Don't worry these things usually will just work themselves out.
Good luck  
trueblueinpw : 1/21/2017 11:03 pm : link
Never one answer with the kids but I'd consider a few things. No electronics at least two hours before going to bed. Plenty of research that the electronics, including TV make it more difficult to sleep no matter your age. Ditto with food, but that can be tougher. Our youngest had/has a habit of being hungry right at bed time. Usually that's okay, some fruit or toast or something.

Positive reinforcement works best, tell them Eli gets 10 hours of sleep or the Giants only draft guys that go to bed on time. That kind of thing. If you both go to sleep on time for two weeks we'll get ice cream. Since they're brothers you could try some competition, see who can fall asleep first the most nights in a row. Keep it positive.

You might try reading to them before bed each night. That really helped with us and it's good for everyone.

I might reconsider taking away the stuffed animals because that's the sort of thing to cause anxiety and that won't help them sleep.

It's tough, a lot times I would loose my cool, yelling and dish out the punishments and that never helped. I think whatever you can do to avoid direct conflict and ultimatums is generally helpful.

It's a tough age but you'll get through it. Good luck!
I tell my kids we will send them to an orphanage.  
Boy Cord : 1/22/2017 12:05 am : link
I always keep an application on my desk. Some days I drive them past the orphanage and comment on how well adjusted the kids look and that it can't be that bad of a place.
Cough medicine  
SHO'NUFF : 1/22/2017 12:42 am : link
and chloroform always does the trick.
Books work best, I started them on the hobbit  
Jim in Forest Hills : 1/22/2017 1:16 am : link
And they can barely rake a few pages before passing out
getting kids to sleep  
SomeFan : 1/22/2017 5:51 am : link
is why I have a wife!
Agree with routine and patience  
Shecky : 1/22/2017 8:17 am : link
Though easier said than done. Best thing for the "routine" is to automate the house. Tv shuts off at X. Lights downstairs off at Y. Upstairs hallway lights go, dim for a certain amount of time and shut off to complete darkness at Z. Reason this has helped us so much is w can't control the routine. It's automated. It will happen. No deviation. And the kids eventually learn that.
Wish I could help.  
Gmen1982 : 1/22/2017 8:21 am : link
I have a 4 year old and a 1.5 year old. They are in separate rooms so my advice would be useless. I will say that your situation does not seem uncommon. My two feed off of each other as well and I am sure would keep each other up. It's a tough situation. Maybe when the little one gets older it will get better. Hang in there.
Sometimes no naps  
UConn4523 : 1/22/2017 8:37 am : link
is a bad decision. The times we've powered our 16 month old through a busy day with minimal naps she always sleeps less at night. But if she gets 2 hours of naps everyday, she sleeps from 7pm-7am without any trouble.
This may not apply to your current situation, but it....  
Crispino : 1/22/2017 9:18 am : link
may down the road: when my son was around five, he would get out of bed constantly and come in to our room with a question, or complaint, or anything to keep engaged with us and not going to sleep. So I came up with a strategy: I told him that unlike other kids his age, he would henceforth have no bedtime. He could stay up as late as he wanted, every night. But the only rule was that he had to stay in bed. He thought the idea that he could stay up late was awesome. It kept him in bed, and of course, he fall asleep in no time. Just the idea that it was all under his control did the trick.
I have a 4 year old and a 3 year old  
eclipz928 : 1/22/2017 10:00 am : link
They've always shared the same room. Yes, ROUTINE is the key thing. What we do: In the evening, after dinner they have play time or watch a couple of their favorite shows on the tv/tablet.

Around 7:30 we round them up to put pajamas on, wash up and brush teeth. Afterwards we dim the lights in their room, and we get them in to the bed and read 1 or 2 short books. Btw, if you don't have one I would definitely suggest getting a dimmer switch or dimmable lamp in your kids room - it really helps to wind them down.

We then put their night light on and leave the room. Sometimes they both go right to sleep, sometimes one or both will still be rustling around. If they aren't settling down then my wife or I will sit in the room (occasionally throwing them back into their bed if they get up) until they go asleep - which usually takes about 30mins.

Both of my kids still take naps midday, so I don't think whether or not they take naps always has an effect at night time. My opinion is that the key thing is to make sure they have the same routine at the same time each evening, and to not keep them up too late (they should be asleep before 9:00pm and get 9-10 hours sleep).
RE: getting kids to sleep  
aimrocky : 1/22/2017 10:40 am : link
In comment 13335241 SomeFan said:
Quote:
is why I have a wife!


Haha, agree 1000%

Right now we're going through sleeping issues with our 10 month old. He'll have 2-3 hour stretches before he wakes up for a bottle or nursing. We've tried letting him cry it out, but he's gone an hour+ of crying without tiring.

He's the total opposite of my daughter who slept all night from the beginning.
RE: RE: did you threaten  
Gman11 : 1/22/2017 10:48 am : link
In comment 13335163 ImThatGuy said:
Quote:
In comment 13335159 pjcas18 said:


Quote:


them with Santa?



Ha wish I could but we are Jewish


What does Santa have to do with religion? Religion was just how the myth got started, but it has nothing to do with religion now.
Thanks all for the advice  
ImThatGuy : 1/22/2017 11:12 am : link
They eventually tired themselves out and probably fell asleep close to 10pm. They are exhausted this morning - should be a fun day
RE: did you threaten  
djm : 1/22/2017 2:24 pm : link
In comment 13335159 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
them with Santa? If Santa doesn't work and you're Catholic you can try Jesus.

Once they don't fear Santa or Jesus you may as well move out, you're done as a parent.


Lol yup. We use Santa for our three year old. It's great because she insists that the North Pole is a big building to the northwest of the view from our condo so the Santa factor looms large. We also only have one kid.
RE: Routine routine routine  
djm : 1/22/2017 2:27 pm : link
In comment 13335180 Young Elijah said:
Quote:
We dont deviate from it under any circumstance. With a 1 and 3 year old. We dont joint bath time at 7ish, theyll watch a PBS show. Little guy gets tossed in his crib and left to cry it out until he knocks out.

Older one takes some work, a game of hide and seek where he tells you where to hide and where hes hiding, a few puzzles, 2 books, some story telling and some hair scratching - but hes down by 8:30-8:45.

I consider us a bit extreme with this because we will avoid going out (prefer having people over) not to disturb the balance but overall it works. I think within a day or two of setting the routine the kids understand the boundaries and expectations.


We are the same. We rarely go out at that time of day to disrupt the routine. Sometimes it can suck but it has worked.
RE: RE: Routine routine routine  
spike : 1/22/2017 2:29 pm : link
In comment 13335536 djm said:
Quote:
In comment 13335180 Young Elijah said:


Quote:


We dont deviate from it under any circumstance. With a 1 and 3 year old. We dont joint bath time at 7ish, theyll watch a PBS show. Little guy gets tossed in his crib and left to cry it out until he knocks out.

Older one takes some work, a game of hide and seek where he tells you where to hide and where hes hiding, a few puzzles, 2 books, some story telling and some hair scratching - but hes down by 8:30-8:45.

I consider us a bit extreme with this because we will avoid going out (prefer having people over) not to disturb the balance but overall it works. I think within a day or two of setting the routine the kids understand the boundaries and expectations.



We are the same. We rarely go out at that time of day to disrupt the routine. Sometimes it can suck but it has worked.


Yup, thats why my wife and I rarely go out at night anymore. I can't trust anyone to uphold the sleep routine.
Just noticed this article  
jpennyva : 1/22/2017 4:54 pm : link
I had seen this thread earlier today so when I saw this article on the Washington Post website, I thought I would share it as it could be helpful for others viewing this thread, even if it isn't specifically answering the OP's question.
WaPo Item on Children, Fear and Sleep - ( New Window )
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