I am kind of in a personal rut right now just not being able to really enjoy things. My life feels too repetitive. I'm not depressed or anything I just feel robotic. If you have felt this way, how did you get back to having fun?
You've got to find and invent ways to get yourself out of your regular routines, get outside of the box that the routines tend to create around you.
Try new food, a new watering hole and places to eat, read different books, hit the gym, get your ass outdoors and exercise, travel, etc. It's about re-framing your perspective, simple terms.
I work hard during the week and always make weekend plans with friends so that I have things to look forward to.
I usually wind up working a few hours on the weekends as well - but I always try to make sure I give myself a day or night out to be social and just take a break from the monotony.
It's really just a matter of identifying what you enjoy doing and who you enjoy doing it with.
NHL playoffs are always fun - we have a pretty big group of Rangers fans and we always get together for the weekend games and make a day or night of it.
Otherwise, go check out some live music you like or go hit a new restaurant in your area. If you're a baseball fan go to a game. If you like being outdoors, plan a bike ride or hike or something.
Even in my early 30's, I still think it's important to give myself a little time each week to do something I enjoy and see people Im close with. As long as I put in the work during the week, I never feel guilty about it.
I know it's cliche, but life's short. Figure out what you like doing and go do it.
a weekend trip is a good suggestion (NOLA, Vegas depending on your $ situation), an amusement park if that's your thing, a live sporting event if you haven't been in awhile. It gives you something to look forward to, you enjoy it while you're doing it, and it gives you something to look back on.
When they say here today gone tomorrow it is absolutely true. I lived it when my father passed away at the age of 45. He was literally here one minute and gone the next. Died of what they called a massive coronary thrombosis. I was 14.
When I get bummed out about life I reflect on that and sometimes it's not easy we all go through it but remember tomorrow is not guaranteed. So look for any reason to enjoy the struggle because that's what life is. A struggle. And when you conquer whatever your struggles are the satisfaction is priceless.
when I have a free day and the weather permits, i'm doing one of those things. Get married, have kids, lose your mind, then cherish those rare moments where you have time to yourself. Enjoy family. Work as little as possible while making enough money. Pray the Giants don't piss you off. then pray for the other teams in your life. Cherish the winning moments. Really cherish the championship moments. Have perspective. Get every ounce out of the good. Don't wallow in the bad. Get enough sleep. Floss more than once a year. Eat right but eat bad too. Drink lots of water.
not to mean lazy, but don't live to work. Leave work at work. People get way too invested in their jobs and end up forgetting that there's a lot more to life than making someone else rich. It's one thing to work smart but one can definitely work too hard.
Repetitive activities will suck the life out of you. Even things you love can get boring. Anyone who's vacationed multiple times at the same location can relate.
Don't underestimate what your feeling, btw - you're likely suffering from depression. If you don't have one, find a good therapist.
Some where you always wanted to go. Go to the Bunny Ranch they will show you a good time!!!
Very true. Even if it's a family outing, take a year to plan your vacation spot and make it happen. The whole ride before and during is exciting....Afterward...not so much.
My husband and I have the problem that there are so many hobbies that we have and want to try. We don't have nearly as much time for them as we'd like but we do make it a point to try to spend at least a little time each week on one of them.
One thing that has also helped me is to check into some local community happenings, such as going to a free or low cost concert at a church or local school play or local theater club. I was amazed at how much was offered around my community once I looked.
My husband and I also love to travel (though I traveled plenty by myself before I met him). Some of that depends on $ but there are some less expensive ways to see other places (camping, for instance).
Married no kids. I work, do chores on the weekend and do it all over again. Making my ends meet, but really don't have any funds to play with.
It doesn't cost anything to find a reading group or hobbyist group that may share interests (or have interests you want to explore and try out) and you end up looking forward to Thursday night (or whatever) when you can meet up with people that share some interests.
Go fishing. Ride a bike. Workout at the gym. There are activities you can engage in that are great for relaxing and don't cost much at all, if anything.
Unless your wife is the type that takes issue with you having any breathing room... then what you really need is a marriage counselor. :)
Also not sure this relates to you or not but I have often witnessed that people I have known who always need to be with others in order to have fun often struggle with this issue. Take a day or two off and just go do something enjoyable by yourself. I have always believed that if you can be both content and enjoy alone time with yourself that you will always be pretty happy.
Good luck with it,I hope you get through it quickly.
job/relationship are causing you to be down or if you just never feel happy no matter what the situation. If its the latter you may have a form of depression and need counseling/medication. Physical activity/working out pumps up those good chemicals in your brain as an alternative.
I try to live by counting my blessings and not my problems, be grateful for what you have, humble, curious and excited about the simple things in life. If you are physically healthy, love someone and they love you, have a roof over your head and food on the table you are better off than 90% of the world.
things that seem fun but really aren't good for you and can leave you feeling less fulfilled.
Obvious choices like hookers and blow, etc. Seriously though you have to watch out for friends where what you do is get drunk together.
I had to relearn how much fun it was for me to go out jump on the trampoline or ride my bike. I almost forgot how much I love fishing, hiking, and camping. I had become consumed with partying and shopping, always reading about the newest coolest thing and planning my life around acquisition of those things. My friends thought the same way and kept me in that way of thinking.
Best trick though for getting out of any rut is to go provide real service to other people. Focusing on what you can give to those in need will inspire and uplift you and drive your sense of purpose.
Married no kids. I work, do chores on the weekend and do it all over again. Making my ends meet, but really don't have any funds to play with.
Reading new authors, new genres, etc. can really open up lots of new interests. Podcasts are also great, so much interesting content to enjoy and they pair great with doing chores, yardwork, etc. to make it less tedious. Both of those suggestions are very cheap.
Pets also are a great way to enrich your life, but can get a little pricier.
Getting away for a night with the wife, even if just to a nearby city for dinner and a movie can be a nice treat once in a while when you have the money. A cheaper way to do it is make a day trip to go to a national park, the beach, or a museum so you don't have to pay for a hotel.
Exercise in the form of walking, running, yoga, local softball leagues, etc. are great outlets. So too are yoga and meditation.
Everyone falls into a rut sometimes. If you find this going on for a long time and nothing will snap you out of it, you might want to consider talking to someone, as anhedonia (lack of pleasure in life) is a sign of depression.
Married no kids. I work, do chores on the weekend and do it all over again. Making my ends meet, but really don't have any funds to play with.
I'm dead serious with my previous post. Get out of NYC, I could be wrong but i think you mentioned you moved there. NYC is the last place I would want to live with no funds to play with. Move somewhere where you aren't stuck in a concrete jungle, don't have to have well over a million dollars to own a decent place. You may take a big pay cut but also find that you have a lot more time to do stuff as well as some extra money because of the cost of living adjustment.
I don't know how people do NYC their whole lives especially ones that commute a far distance in for work every day. I know some people who spend 4 hours of their day just commuting to and from work. Fuck that, no amount of money would be worth it to me to do that.
and are single, yet have no funds to play with...get the fuck outta there. You're not making enough money by a sight. If you were killing it and making a ton of money, you still might not be fulfilled. But you're most likely in a position to have a shit load of fun in another city (based solely on the fact that you're surviving on your own in NYC).
Try moving to a place like Austin or Atlanta or Charlotte or Denver. Hell, even KC might be a good fit - young, up and coming, good scene. Cheap.
NYC is a rat race - lived there for years as a single guy pushing the same buttons hoping for a different outcome. Didn't want WS or any of the IPOs my college pals were sweating. Got out when I could, found a great city, had a shit load of fun and adventure, met my wife, and structured my life from there.
You've got to find and invent ways to get yourself out of your regular routines, get outside of the box that the routines tend to create around you.
Try new food, a new watering hole and places to eat, read different books, hit the gym, get your ass outdoors and exercise, travel, etc. It's about re-framing your perspective, simple terms.
I usually wind up working a few hours on the weekends as well - but I always try to make sure I give myself a day or night out to be social and just take a break from the monotony.
It's really just a matter of identifying what you enjoy doing and who you enjoy doing it with.
NHL playoffs are always fun - we have a pretty big group of Rangers fans and we always get together for the weekend games and make a day or night of it.
Otherwise, go check out some live music you like or go hit a new restaurant in your area. If you're a baseball fan go to a game. If you like being outdoors, plan a bike ride or hike or something.
Even in my early 30's, I still think it's important to give myself a little time each week to do something I enjoy and see people Im close with. As long as I put in the work during the week, I never feel guilty about it.
I know it's cliche, but life's short. Figure out what you like doing and go do it.
When I get bummed out about life I reflect on that and sometimes it's not easy we all go through it but remember tomorrow is not guaranteed. So look for any reason to enjoy the struggle because that's what life is. A struggle. And when you conquer whatever your struggles are the satisfaction is priceless.
That's all.
Don't underestimate what your feeling, btw - you're likely suffering from depression. If you don't have one, find a good therapist.
Very true. Even if it's a family outing, take a year to plan your vacation spot and make it happen. The whole ride before and during is exciting....Afterward...not so much.
One thing that has also helped me is to check into some local community happenings, such as going to a free or low cost concert at a church or local school play or local theater club. I was amazed at how much was offered around my community once I looked.
My husband and I also love to travel (though I traveled plenty by myself before I met him). Some of that depends on $ but there are some less expensive ways to see other places (camping, for instance).
The world is your playground! Go get dirty!
Married no kids. I work, do chores on the weekend and do it all over again. Making my ends meet, but really don't have any funds to play with.
Quote:
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Married no kids. I work, do chores on the weekend and do it all over again. Making my ends meet, but really don't have any funds to play with.
It doesn't cost anything to find a reading group or hobbyist group that may share interests (or have interests you want to explore and try out) and you end up looking forward to Thursday night (or whatever) when you can meet up with people that share some interests.
But you will have a lot of meaning/fun.
I wouldn't go that far. They might advise him to buy a gun.
Unless your wife is the type that takes issue with you having any breathing room... then what you really need is a marriage counselor. :)
Also not sure this relates to you or not but I have often witnessed that people I have known who always need to be with others in order to have fun often struggle with this issue. Take a day or two off and just go do something enjoyable by yourself. I have always believed that if you can be both content and enjoy alone time with yourself that you will always be pretty happy.
Good luck with it,I hope you get through it quickly.
Quote:
You wont have any free time
But you will have a lot of meaning/fun.
Having a kid has given me a profound appreciation for the quiet or "boring" moments. I'm never truly bored anymore and if I am it won't last lol.
I try to live by counting my blessings and not my problems, be grateful for what you have, humble, curious and excited about the simple things in life. If you are physically healthy, love someone and they love you, have a roof over your head and food on the table you are better off than 90% of the world.
Obvious choices like hookers and blow, etc. Seriously though you have to watch out for friends where what you do is get drunk together.
I had to relearn how much fun it was for me to go out jump on the trampoline or ride my bike. I almost forgot how much I love fishing, hiking, and camping. I had become consumed with partying and shopping, always reading about the newest coolest thing and planning my life around acquisition of those things. My friends thought the same way and kept me in that way of thinking.
Best trick though for getting out of any rut is to go provide real service to other people. Focusing on what you can give to those in need will inspire and uplift you and drive your sense of purpose.
Good luck!
Quote:
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Married no kids. I work, do chores on the weekend and do it all over again. Making my ends meet, but really don't have any funds to play with.
Reading new authors, new genres, etc. can really open up lots of new interests. Podcasts are also great, so much interesting content to enjoy and they pair great with doing chores, yardwork, etc. to make it less tedious. Both of those suggestions are very cheap.
Pets also are a great way to enrich your life, but can get a little pricier.
Getting away for a night with the wife, even if just to a nearby city for dinner and a movie can be a nice treat once in a while when you have the money. A cheaper way to do it is make a day trip to go to a national park, the beach, or a museum so you don't have to pay for a hotel.
Exercise in the form of walking, running, yoga, local softball leagues, etc. are great outlets. So too are yoga and meditation.
Everyone falls into a rut sometimes. If you find this going on for a long time and nothing will snap you out of it, you might want to consider talking to someone, as anhedonia (lack of pleasure in life) is a sign of depression.
Hope things turn around for you!
Quote:
.
Married no kids. I work, do chores on the weekend and do it all over again. Making my ends meet, but really don't have any funds to play with.
I'm dead serious with my previous post. Get out of NYC, I could be wrong but i think you mentioned you moved there. NYC is the last place I would want to live with no funds to play with. Move somewhere where you aren't stuck in a concrete jungle, don't have to have well over a million dollars to own a decent place. You may take a big pay cut but also find that you have a lot more time to do stuff as well as some extra money because of the cost of living adjustment.
I don't know how people do NYC their whole lives especially ones that commute a far distance in for work every day. I know some people who spend 4 hours of their day just commuting to and from work. Fuck that, no amount of money would be worth it to me to do that.
Try moving to a place like Austin or Atlanta or Charlotte or Denver. Hell, even KC might be a good fit - young, up and coming, good scene. Cheap.
NYC is a rat race - lived there for years as a single guy pushing the same buttons hoping for a different outcome. Didn't want WS or any of the IPOs my college pals were sweating. Got out when I could, found a great city, had a shit load of fun and adventure, met my wife, and structured my life from there.