older teen boys who are having sex with someone they barely know (like a teacher who teaches them for 1 year) vs family members or friends of family members who have known them for a long time..
in those situations I can see that the older person had power over them and preyed on them.. However as a 16 year old after having sex with a teacher you should know that the power dynamics have changed and now you have the power and not the teacher..
girl in her 20s, what the hell are you thinking having sex with underage high school kids? Just go to any dating app or out to any bar and she could get laid any night she wants.
dad gives them the nod of approval when mom leaves the room.
If my future son ever did that, I'll pour him a glass of the finest whiskey. He deserves it.
A friend of mine's college-age son was banging a divorced woman in their neighborhood, maybe 15 years older than him. Literally sneaking in her house's back door in the wee hours. The father only found out by accident, and told his son, "Don't knock her up and don't let Mom find out." Fortunately, the son went back to college, and that was the end of that. Dad was about HALF laughing about it, but realized that telling his son to stop wasn't going to work.
She wasn't a knockout, but she was cute. Mid-20s. There was a rumor for most of senior year that she was banging one of the guys in our class. FWIW he always denied it.
I understand the jokes being made & that all of us, at one time or another, fantasized about some of our teachers. However, on a serious note, I hate when something like this occurs & creates a dark cloud on my profession. I personally have seen this type of thing occur during my 37 years of teaching & these people are a stain on the teaching profession.They are a minuscule number when it comes to the amount of quality professionals that educate our youth every day yet the sensationalism of these type of actions draw the media's attention. Just a rant from a teacher who will always be proud to say that I'm a teacher.Okay, you can go back to your jokes! lol
we may joke about this sort of thing and say that our 16 yr old selves would enjoy such a moment. But we say this as a grown adult who is most likely sexually experienced and not as our actual 16-17-year-old selves who probably are just horny and not aware of the emotional ramifications once you are engaged in this sort of activity.
girl in her 20s, what the hell are you thinking having sex with underage high school kids? Just go to any dating app or out to any bar and she could get laid any night she wants.
Definitely something wrong upstairs.
That's probably the thing folks forget. That women - young ones, too - have preferences. Or issues. Whatever you'd call them. And for some 25-year-olds, why is it hard to understand that they wouldn't want a guy their own age because he might be pushy, or controlling, or even confident, and the girl might not want that. She might just want to be in control. Or to feel younger, if she's feeling her youth slip away? Hell, maybe she's accomplished a college degree and grabbed a job (teaching jobs are everywhere these days) but is socially very immature. Could have been a late-bloomer and now loves the attention, and it was just about (a) proximity (they're around attentive teen boys daily) and (b) lousy decision-making and/or impulse control.
girl in her 20s, what the hell are you thinking having sex with underage high school kids? Just go to any dating app or out to any bar and she could get laid any night she wants.
Definitely something wrong upstairs.
That's probably the thing folks forget. That women - young ones, too - have preferences. Or issues. Whatever you'd call them. And for some 25-year-olds, why is it hard to understand that they wouldn't want a guy their own age because he might be pushy, or controlling, or even confident, and the girl might not want that. She might just want to be in control. Or to feel younger, if she's feeling her youth slip away? Hell, maybe she's accomplished a college degree and grabbed a job (teaching jobs are everywhere these days) but is socially very immature. Could have been a late-bloomer and now loves the attention, and it was just about (a) proximity (they're around attentive teen boys daily) and (b) lousy decision-making and/or impulse control.
Good post. Older people think of 25 as so "young" but if you think back to those days, 25 can be when you start realizing you are getting older.
Also, if this were a guy with three young women, everyone would be "typical." But when it is a woman, we find it so strange and ask why she does not go on a date app. But really isn't it the same thing, whether the perpetrator is male or female?
Thats the thing if I had sex with a hot teacher and you would have asked me if I had been preyed on.. i would say hell no.. I wanted to do it and glad I did.. preyed on seems to insinuate that the boys had to be convinced to have sex with her.. if they were 12 or 13 I would agree but at 16 they probably just had to be asked and I am sure most boys would just say yes.. in fact most would pursue it.. hence I won't use the word prey..
You seem to imply that because they had sex early that they are bound to messed up.. I am saying that in most cases something like this shouldn't mess up a kids life.. If you can actually show studies that this is very harmful to kids, I'd definitely change my opinion but without hard facts, I can only go by how it would impact me and the guys I know.. We would be just fine regardless of our encounter with hot teacher..
The "preyed upon" phrase isn't only dependent on age... (although age factors in, IMO, absolutely)... it's also dependent on the fact that this is a teacher/student scenario. Teaching is a position of authority... power dynamics factor in.
And when I suggest that such improper, early sexual encounters "mess up" a kid... I'm not necessarily talking about a kid ending up in the gutter with a heroin needle in his/her arm (or whatever). Far more likely, IMO, would be that such incidents become a roadblock towards a person developing mature and healthy sexual relationships down the road.
One doesn't need look far for evidence. Look outside your front door. How many folks seemingly can't keep relationships together... or engage in self-destructive habits... etc?
girl in her 20s, what the hell are you thinking having sex with underage high school kids? Just go to any dating app or out to any bar and she could get laid any night she wants.
Definitely something wrong upstairs.
That's probably the thing folks forget. That women - young ones, too - have preferences. Or issues. Whatever you'd call them. And for some 25-year-olds, why is it hard to understand that they wouldn't want a guy their own age because he might be pushy, or controlling, or even confident, and the girl might not want that. She might just want to be in control. Or to feel younger, if she's feeling her youth slip away? Hell, maybe she's accomplished a college degree and grabbed a job (teaching jobs are everywhere these days) but is socially very immature. Could have been a late-bloomer and now loves the attention, and it was just about (a) proximity (they're around attentive teen boys daily) and (b) lousy decision-making and/or impulse control.
Good post. Older people think of 25 as so "young" but if you think back to those days, 25 can be when you start realizing you are getting older.
Also, if this were a guy with three young women, everyone would be "typical." But when it is a woman, we find it so strange and ask why she does not go on a date app. But really isn't it the same thing, whether the perpetrator is male or female?
That's just it. (And I'm not defending these moves by the women going for the teen boys.) 25 is not the same for every person. Just like 15 isn't the same for every person. A lot of major differences depending on physiology, mental maturity, family and upbringing, social/personal experiences, etc.
Some women that age have lived a lot already. Some are often like 16-year-olds.
if you are 25 and feeling old, go on a dating app and pick up an 18 year-old to feel young. For an attractive 25 year-old to have sex with multiple 16/17 year-old students makes her nuts.
gets the dog and cat that lives with her and takes care of them. Pets are always left behind in situations like this. She is going to jail and was fired so I don't feel the need to comment on her wrongdoing too.
if you are 25 and feeling old, go on a dating app and pick up an 18 year-old to feel young. For an attractive 25 year-old to have sex with multiple 16/17 year-old students makes her nuts.
I don't think she's nuts.
I mean, she COULD be. More likely, imo, just horrible judgment, immature, and yes, millennial, so ... the "me" thing likely played a part.
president of our teacher's union. It's pretty much the worst. While I haven't had to deal with something like this yet, I have had to deal with young female teachers (22-25) showing up to school events (prom) wasted and dancing inappropriately with students, which has found its way to social media and caused a total nightmare for the teachers and our district.
The further along in my career that I get, the more I see that the young teachers just don't have any common sense. I put a ton of that on social media and the slow degradation of societal norms. I can only judge on what I see with my colleagues and students, but things are way different than they were 12 years ago. There's no shame anymore...the teachers I'm having to defend currently are both smart and good in the classroom, yet somehow, they thought it'd be OK to be under the influence around their students, and are shocked that there's repercussions. I can't help but wonder what else they've gotten away with to this point.
Young people these days are dealing with an adolescence without any consequences. They enter their professional careers with some twisted idea that they can basically do whatever they want. They can't. I hope someone decides to teach them that along the way...soon.
First, make no mistakes, this is a form of sexual assault and harassment, even if the boys consented. Two, there should not be a double standard based on gender. This is not one bit different than a male teacher doing this with girls. Three, stop pretending that if this was your son you'd be high fiving him. The reality is you would be pissed. Four, stop pretending if it was you, you would have jumped at the opportunity. The reality is most of you would have been intimidated, scared shitless, and not gone through with it. Five, whether or not the teacher is attractive doesn't change any of this.
It is wrong on many levels from the teacher's perspective and the kid's perspective. Don't glorify this.
There are no victims!
in those situations I can see that the older person had power over them and preyed on them.. However as a 16 year old after having sex with a teacher you should know that the power dynamics have changed and now you have the power and not the teacher..
Definitely something wrong upstairs.
For all I know (this is more than 40 years ago now), she's either dead or weighs more than the Fridge, but I can close my eyes and see her right now.
Quote:
the students mothers were mortified ...
dad gives them the nod of approval when mom leaves the room.
If my future son ever did that, I'll pour him a glass of the finest whiskey. He deserves it.
A friend of mine's college-age son was banging a divorced woman in their neighborhood, maybe 15 years older than him. Literally sneaking in her house's back door in the wee hours. The father only found out by accident, and told his son, "Don't knock her up and don't let Mom find out." Fortunately, the son went back to college, and that was the end of that. Dad was about HALF laughing about it, but realized that telling his son to stop wasn't going to work.
Definitely something wrong upstairs.
That's probably the thing folks forget. That women - young ones, too - have preferences. Or issues. Whatever you'd call them. And for some 25-year-olds, why is it hard to understand that they wouldn't want a guy their own age because he might be pushy, or controlling, or even confident, and the girl might not want that. She might just want to be in control. Or to feel younger, if she's feeling her youth slip away? Hell, maybe she's accomplished a college degree and grabbed a job (teaching jobs are everywhere these days) but is socially very immature. Could have been a late-bloomer and now loves the attention, and it was just about (a) proximity (they're around attentive teen boys daily) and (b) lousy decision-making and/or impulse control.
Quote:
girl in her 20s, what the hell are you thinking having sex with underage high school kids? Just go to any dating app or out to any bar and she could get laid any night she wants.
Definitely something wrong upstairs.
That's probably the thing folks forget. That women - young ones, too - have preferences. Or issues. Whatever you'd call them. And for some 25-year-olds, why is it hard to understand that they wouldn't want a guy their own age because he might be pushy, or controlling, or even confident, and the girl might not want that. She might just want to be in control. Or to feel younger, if she's feeling her youth slip away? Hell, maybe she's accomplished a college degree and grabbed a job (teaching jobs are everywhere these days) but is socially very immature. Could have been a late-bloomer and now loves the attention, and it was just about (a) proximity (they're around attentive teen boys daily) and (b) lousy decision-making and/or impulse control.
Good post. Older people think of 25 as so "young" but if you think back to those days, 25 can be when you start realizing you are getting older.
Also, if this were a guy with three young women, everyone would be "typical." But when it is a woman, we find it so strange and ask why she does not go on a date app. But really isn't it the same thing, whether the perpetrator is male or female?
Having said that, teacher + student sex (both ways gender-wise) happens WAY more often than people think...
You seem to imply that because they had sex early that they are bound to messed up.. I am saying that in most cases something like this shouldn't mess up a kids life.. If you can actually show studies that this is very harmful to kids, I'd definitely change my opinion but without hard facts, I can only go by how it would impact me and the guys I know.. We would be just fine regardless of our encounter with hot teacher..
The "preyed upon" phrase isn't only dependent on age... (although age factors in, IMO, absolutely)... it's also dependent on the fact that this is a teacher/student scenario. Teaching is a position of authority... power dynamics factor in.
And when I suggest that such improper, early sexual encounters "mess up" a kid... I'm not necessarily talking about a kid ending up in the gutter with a heroin needle in his/her arm (or whatever). Far more likely, IMO, would be that such incidents become a roadblock towards a person developing mature and healthy sexual relationships down the road.
One doesn't need look far for evidence. Look outside your front door. How many folks seemingly can't keep relationships together... or engage in self-destructive habits... etc?
Quote:
In comment 13499414 PaulBlakeTSU said:
Quote:
girl in her 20s, what the hell are you thinking having sex with underage high school kids? Just go to any dating app or out to any bar and she could get laid any night she wants.
Definitely something wrong upstairs.
That's probably the thing folks forget. That women - young ones, too - have preferences. Or issues. Whatever you'd call them. And for some 25-year-olds, why is it hard to understand that they wouldn't want a guy their own age because he might be pushy, or controlling, or even confident, and the girl might not want that. She might just want to be in control. Or to feel younger, if she's feeling her youth slip away? Hell, maybe she's accomplished a college degree and grabbed a job (teaching jobs are everywhere these days) but is socially very immature. Could have been a late-bloomer and now loves the attention, and it was just about (a) proximity (they're around attentive teen boys daily) and (b) lousy decision-making and/or impulse control.
Good post. Older people think of 25 as so "young" but if you think back to those days, 25 can be when you start realizing you are getting older.
Also, if this were a guy with three young women, everyone would be "typical." But when it is a woman, we find it so strange and ask why she does not go on a date app. But really isn't it the same thing, whether the perpetrator is male or female?
That's just it. (And I'm not defending these moves by the women going for the teen boys.) 25 is not the same for every person. Just like 15 isn't the same for every person. A lot of major differences depending on physiology, mental maturity, family and upbringing, social/personal experiences, etc.
Some women that age have lived a lot already. Some are often like 16-year-olds.
For all I know (this is more than 40 years ago now), she's either dead or weighs more than the Fridge, but I can close my eyes and see her right now.
I don't think she's nuts.
I mean, she COULD be. More likely, imo, just horrible judgment, immature, and yes, millennial, so ... the "me" thing likely played a part.
The further along in my career that I get, the more I see that the young teachers just don't have any common sense. I put a ton of that on social media and the slow degradation of societal norms. I can only judge on what I see with my colleagues and students, but things are way different than they were 12 years ago. There's no shame anymore...the teachers I'm having to defend currently are both smart and good in the classroom, yet somehow, they thought it'd be OK to be under the influence around their students, and are shocked that there's repercussions. I can't help but wonder what else they've gotten away with to this point.
Young people these days are dealing with an adolescence without any consequences. They enter their professional careers with some twisted idea that they can basically do whatever they want. They can't. I hope someone decides to teach them that along the way...soon.
It is wrong on many levels from the teacher's perspective and the kid's perspective. Don't glorify this.