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NFT: Need a bidet recommendation

Taggart : 6/22/2017 2:56 pm
A friend of mine has been feeling a bit self-conscious about cleanliness of his backside. Asked me to help him look into a bidet, but I have no clue. Anybody here use one or have any helpful suggestions of what features to look for?
Taggarts got a dirty asshole!  
j_rud : 6/22/2017 3:00 pm : link
Don't  
River : 6/22/2017 3:17 pm : link
You have a Garden hose?
Who asks for help looking into a bidet?  
Mike from Ohio : 6/22/2017 3:40 pm : link
What's the nature of this...friendship?
.  
River : 6/22/2017 3:45 pm : link
LOL  
Sec 103 : 6/22/2017 3:46 pm : link
WTF???
I'll just keep refreshing this thread and Anaks  
Brown Recluse : 6/22/2017 3:49 pm : link
for the rest of the day.
,  
River : 6/22/2017 3:53 pm : link
Brondell Swash 1000  
ImThatGuy : 6/22/2017 4:28 pm : link
Er uh, well that's what model my friend told me has ...

Hey if you got a mudslide on your driveway would you just try and clean it up with paper towels? Or would hose it down?

BBI has the answers to everything
I got one on sale  
NoPeanutz : 6/22/2017 4:39 pm : link
On Amazon for about $20.
Easy to install, and easy and effective where it counts.
I'm sorry butt  
Larry in Pencilvania : 6/22/2017 4:43 pm : link
Who the hell goes on bbi for a bidet
This model looks like it would do a good job  
8 Ball : 6/22/2017 4:51 pm : link
this should cure your itch  
idiotsavant : 6/22/2017 5:06 pm : link
RE: Who asks for help looking into a bidet?  
Sonic Youth : 6/22/2017 5:46 pm : link
In comment 13508133 Mike from Ohio said:
Quote:
What's the nature of this...friendship?
LOL
"asking for a friend"
You all are  
superspynyg : 6/22/2017 5:55 pm : link
Relentless
Good on ya for the Bidet Taggart!!  
Johnny5 : 6/22/2017 6:02 pm : link
I mean think about it really. Who is the freaking DOPE that popularized toilet paper??? It defies all logic.

Let's say you are bopping down the street, and you trip. You put your hand down to keep from cracking your face on the side walk... SUMPF! Your hand lands right in that rather large and still steaming pile of your neighbor's German Shephard's excrement.

Do you look for the nearest paper product, wipe your hand and keep on walking? Of course not. YOU WASH THAT SHIT WITH SOAP AND WATER. Scrub even.

No sir. French got it right if you ask me. Bidet all the way.
Having done "business" overseas many times  
mattlawson : 6/22/2017 6:03 pm : link
I love em. I have no Recs because I'm a guest but they really are great. So fresh and so clean like outkast.

I've even used the sprayer things - only to find out they are actually for feet washing before prayer. But um, they work
If you stop trying to blow air out of your ass  
River : 6/22/2017 6:09 pm : link
and let it happen naturally you will find you will not need a bidet.
get flushable wipes  
Moondawg : 6/22/2017 7:01 pm : link
for your "friend".
Butt Blaster 3000?  
Pete in MD : 6/22/2017 7:10 pm : link
.
I got one from Costco last year  
oghwga : 6/22/2017 8:41 pm : link
$249 I think. Heated water, hot air dryer, the works. Easy install if you're the least bit handy.

It's the greatest. I hate pooping away from home. Don't knock it til you've tried it.
I don't understand  
Mr. Nickels : 6/22/2017 10:19 pm : link
why they aren't a fixture in America.
i didn't know guys used them  
gtt350 : 6/22/2017 10:40 pm : link
dont you shower??
.  
arcarsenal : 6/22/2017 11:00 pm : link
LOL... "for a friend"

CMON MAN!
Luxe Bidet Neo 120  
widmerseyebrow : 6/22/2017 11:11 pm : link
Got two of em at $35 bucks each. Simple install that goes under your existing toilet seat. There was no way I was going to spend hundreds on a bulky electric Japanese unit that had 95 more buttons than I wanted.

These are awesome and you'll never feel totally clean without them. Read the reviews.




Amazon - ( New Window )
What I don't really understand  
Taggart : 6/23/2017 1:35 am : link
(er, what I'm trying to explain to my friend) is how to avoid what I'll call "overspray" and then how to actually dry the area. I think its obvious that you dont want to create more of a mess than whats already there. And then how do you dry? If you use the TP it will just shred and you'll end up with bits of wet TP stuck to your tush, won't you? Is there a certain type or design sprayer to look for? Do you need to keep a towel nearby to dry?
Handy  
BigK : 6/23/2017 7:34 am : link
How to guide
lonk - ( New Window )
RE: What I don't really understand  
NoPeanutz : 6/23/2017 10:14 am : link
In comment 13508981 Taggart said:
Quote:
(er, what I'm trying to explain to my friend) is how to avoid what I'll call "overspray" and then how to actually dry the area. I think its obvious that you dont want to create more of a mess than whats already there. And then how do you dry? If you use the TP it will just shred and you'll end up with bits of wet TP stuck to your tush, won't you? Is there a certain type or design sprayer to look for? Do you need to keep a towel nearby to dry?

Just dab gently to dry with TP. There's no over spray because you control the strength of the stream.
Opposite of bidet...  
x meadowlander : 6/23/2017 10:18 am : link
...these fucking auto-flush toilets at my job.

Some of them aren't calibrated so they flush WHILE YOU'RE SHITTING. >:(

RE: What I don't really understand  
widmerseyebrow : 6/23/2017 10:52 am : link
In comment 13508981 Taggart said:
Quote:
(er, what I'm trying to explain to my friend) is how to avoid what I'll call "overspray" and then how to actually dry the area. I think its obvious that you dont want to create more of a mess than whats already there. And then how do you dry? If you use the TP it will just shred and you'll end up with bits of wet TP stuck to your tush, won't you? Is there a certain type or design sprayer to look for? Do you need to keep a towel nearby to dry?


If I feel like it's messy, I'll do one pass with TP beforehand just to clear the wreckage. The spray is more of a stream, so you can hit the, uh, bulls eye with little adjustment. Then one last pass of TP to dry up.
Try this  
Bubba : 6/23/2017 1:16 pm : link
RE: Opposite of bidet...  
Elisthebest : 6/23/2017 1:38 pm : link
In comment 13509249 x meadowlander said:
Quote:
...these fucking auto-flush toilets at my job.

Some of them aren't calibrated so they flush WHILE YOU'RE SHITTING. >:(
You say it like it's a bad thing
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