NFT: Burnt out on life

Yourself.Stop watching the news. I even stopped watching sports. I will only watch the Giants. Give your brain a break. Meditation also helps with the stresses of the day. I don't know enough about your life to tell you to look for another job. Many variables. My boss is alright. It's my lazy coworker. They won't get rid of him because his dad is a higher up and helped my my manager's son get a job. Smh.

I would drive almost two hours to work, be stuck there for 8.5 hours for a job I hated and then drive two hours home. Honestly, fuck that shit. No amount of money is worth that.

Sometimes I could be going through the worst situations (that do not resolved themselves overnight) and even though I should be freaking out - I am fine throughout.
Then other times, everything is going so smooth in my life and I am just miserable for no reason.

The good thing is you seem to have a reason for your stress (your job and your boss). I hate to state the obvious but, stress can be physically draining.
There are some days - when I come home I have to take a NAP - Despite doing nothing physically taxing all day.


About 2 weeks ago, there was an article about folks who exercise, meditate, eat well, and get a good night's sleep
(same life style type that has been reported about for almost decades now) tend to be happier than those who do not.


Do you think you can be clinically depressed ... even slightly?

I have to stay away from the 24 hour news format networks (FOX, CNN, etc ...). They have to broadcast something so it is the same thing (unless there is something that changes during the day).
Also, they are all in competition for ratings - so everything seems like it is drama filled (needlessly) or that particular network's political slant.

I try to stick to the local news and the national news from 1 of the 4 major networks .... and that is it.

Good luck - things will change. You will make them change! You will do it consciously (immediate action based on a plan) or sub-consciously (your emotions will affect your behavior slightly).

You'll be alright.

Countless times where you feel like you're just going through the motions. My advice is to shake things up, whether it be finding a new job or getting a new hobby.

Best of luck. This too shall pass.

The stress of dealing with the biggest responsibility you could ever have, along with having a very hormonal wife and being in a dead end job, working for a hormonal bitch was enough to turn me into mush. I'd go on drives just to get away and let my mind relax. I'd sleep in my car during lunch hour to get away from my toxic office.

Then, I realized I could make small changes to my attitude that may correct things. Be more positive at home and work and positive things will happen. I was right... My wife and I learned how to work as a team. My hard work and attitude were recognized enough at work that I've had several promotions since, and now I'm at the same level as my old, pain in the ass boss. We sold our starter home and bought a new home in a much better town, that we love. We also had a second kid. Life went from being a complete drag to a fun adventure in a blink of an eye.

My suggestion would be to always take a positive attitude and not to sweat the small things.. It will get better as long as you can adjust yourself. I'd also recommend pulling yourself away from technology, as others have mentioned. I can feel when my mind is running on empty. That's when I shut everything down and do something relaxing.

Are you married with children and how old are you. If you have kids and are married I'd look for employment elsewhere if it's truly that bad, get the job first, then give two weeks notice. Don't do anything stupid that may bite you in the ass down the road. One day you may need a recommendation and you don't want to burn any bridges because you may need to cross them in the future.

When I was younger I went through a similar rough patch. I just wanted to run to the hills and become a hermit. It just seemed like everything was piling up on me and no matter how hard I tried to dig out from underneath I couldn't get to the top.

But when I thought about it good and hard I realized that's what life is all about. Because after all what's the alternative. So, you have to accept the challenge and even in the most difficult of situations you figure things out and get through it. It makes you a stronger person. Someone your family can count on. Someone who when the chips are down finds a way to enjoy that aspect of life too. The daily challenges. It won't all be peaches and cream and you have to reconcile that. Life throws you plenty of rotten apples. Now the question is how do you deal with them.

Don't give up and don't give in and enjoy life no matter the circumstance because everyday is a challenge and know that tomorrow is not guaranteed. But listen, when you come out the other end you'll see things much clearer. Trust me.

As a possibility Las Vegas has much to offer. Great weather, a booming city, lot's of job opportunities, new roads etc.
sports starting 3 hours earlier for you, Monday night football ending at 8:30pm.
In the winter no snow just looking up through palm trees at snow covered mountains.
Legal marijuana
asians in yoga pants everywhere
super friendly people

give it a try what the hell

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Agree with those who say get rid of the news (of all kinds) and stop being addicted to it. (Easier said than done -- but possible.) After all, what's going on out there is surely absolutely beyond your ability to affect it. So who cares what's actually going on and why -- very hard to have any real idea about either and, even if you could, you'd still be helpless to to do anything about any of it.

Job change ought to at least get some consideration if it's draining you to the degree it seems it is. Having enough time to enjoy things, and to relearn how to do that, is key.

I am in my early 50s and totally get the burning out on life and I have no kids or even a job that demands as much as some of you I am sure are faced with. I feel fortunate to have grown up as well as have my first half or so of my career without the technical advances as well as media coverage like it is today. Its so out of control and just soaks up so much of the daily 24 hours we have. Life just seemed much simpler to me 20 years ago.
I have a bunch of 20 and 30 somethings I supervise and I feel for them everyday. The demands they are faced with are much different than I had at that age. The need for double incomes, kids and activities, technology, social media, this ugly world, gangs, drugs, etc...... it never ends. We need to relearn its ok to say NO once in awhile or just cant do it. The overall respect for one another as well as self accountability continues to deteriorate. Its pretty sad.

So what I do today like many of you have mentioned is make it a point to step back every know and then and just take deep breaths and enjoy family, friends and the good things in life. Escape for a few hours in a hobby. Try to live each day like it may be your last, though that is challenging some days, I know.

is great. It's a total clusterfuck of information, why even bother is my take. Be selfish and spend time on yourself, no one else will.

In comment 13565396 UConn4523 said:

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is great. It's a total clusterfuck of information, why even bother is my take. Be selfish and spend time on yourself, no one else will.

I agree +10000

These talking heads now take sides, and promote one side or the other. No one just tells you the facts. Everything is twisted to sounds like the other side is "evil" and trying to destroy us. Its shameful what the media does now. I stopped watching it daily and am much happier. I also realized that 100% of my daily interactions with people are positive and have no bearing or relation to what CNN is yelling at me.

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Seriously, life if what you make it. Important things are what you make them. Decide what you like to do/watch/make and do those things/ideas/beliefs.

Other than that, Prozac or Valium should work.

Disconnect from all the bullshit and the constant marketing.

I usually turn my phone off at the end of the work days and sometimes I shut it off over the weekends.

Make a mental picture of the way you would like things to be and work towards that goal.

I started my own business in 2003 - I usually work in basketball at lunchtime 1-2 times a week. I was going to go over the fence if I continued to work for someone.

I was/am going through something similar. I work 6 days a week including weekends while my wife works mon-fri. We have a 5 year old son plus a 2 year old daughter in which i get them ready every morning then take them to the babysitter on my way to work. My schedule rotates every week so i either watch the kids two or three days a week until 6 then I go to work until 11. I rarely do anything for myself except for the occasional trip to the gym where I am lucky to go 2 days a week if that. I have been feeling struggling lately in which I have been having some dark thoughts that I have never had before. Last night I went out with my old friends for dinner then my wife and I went out after for drinks. My advice to you would be to try to do this more often as I feel better today than I have in a long time despite a mild hangover.

depressing. lol

i'm 30 and have everything i want: a job with lots of money, control, and upside, a beautiful and sweet girlfriend, a nice apartment to myself in manhattan.... but somehow i just cant find the time to relax.

80 hours a week, if it wasnt for my family, thats parents, sister and nieces, id be cool with being done with the world. it aint what it used to be, Having said that, since im still here, when off i try to enjoy those times. too few and far between

sounds like a Millennial thing.

If you're older and have a wife and kids, no shit it's called a midlife crisis. I never had one, but some of my friends do and they all result in different things, divorce, drugs, career change, relocation, gambling/debt, some people just move past it with no damage.

My advice is to get a hobby, something you enjoy and make time for yourself, get a gun and join a rod and gun club, or just join one and take up fishing, take up gardening, cycling, other sports league, exercising, etc. something you like and can do without your family.

Once you get something like this you will look forward to it.

In comment 13565417 gtt350 said:

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Reported

Adults follow the news. If you advocate avoiding the 24/7 hyper-partisan dogshit in favor of a weekly publication or nightly 1/2 show, that's one thing. But adults follow the news.

You don't want to be like one of those morons on Kimmel's Lie-Witness News who can't name the Attorney General or locate North Korea on a map. That's pathetic.

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I'm one of those people who will always hate work, and that's while working for a killer company that treats us so well. Work blows. I second those who said pick up a new, challenging hobby. Once you start to get good you'll feel a sense of accomplishment.

New instrument, learn to cook or draw or play pool. Or there's always the reliable standby of getting in ripped good shape. You'll look & feel better and turn female heads which is always rewarding. The best is when they immediately subconsciously start fixing their hair right as they pass you. As Dave Chappelle once said..."gotchya bitch!"

Good luck OP. It's a relatable problem.

I'd like to echo the advice to see a counselor. It helped me tremendously and I am huge metal health advocate because of my good experience. I'll also echo that it does help to have a hobby. Reading is great for me because I can read a chapter at lunch at work where I get completely away from work during that time and feel refreshed for facing the afternoon. But it does sound like changing jobs could help you. Doing what you can to find more joy in life will make a difference, too.

because I had enough of the bosses bullshit. He got on my nerves once too often so I walked back to my office, got my things, told the receptionist I'll back to pick up my pay check the following week and walked out.

It felt like the weight of an elephant was taken off my back.

don't know your age or marital status. That would help a lot.

Single? Quit you job and if you have any construction skills, go to whee there is a government job and get hired on buy on of the multi-national companies.

It's an adventure and opens up the whole world if you continue your education.

When I retired from the FD, I also was a certified as a Safety Engineer thru the Society of Safety Engineers. I was offered stupid money to take 3 month contracts. Never did it because I set myself and my family up. Except for a few small companies I have for tax purposes, I will not work again

A lot of work and education to set up what I have while I did what I loved,FD.

Moral of the story? Life s shorter than you can believe. Go for it.

No regrets. Good luck.

Best advice I ever got was from an old Italian guy over pasta and vino. He said, "The three things that are most important in life: your family, your health and your God. The rest is all bullshit."

He was 100% right.

It's easy to get lost in the weeds. Focus on the important.

For me, it's a framework that includes a thirst for learning/ideas/conceptual knowledge/the arts/the history of science and humanity. Others will have a somewhat different #3, but there are lots of people who do just fine without belief in a god in their "Big 3."

why not? Does naming the attorney general get you anything?

The news is horrid. Don't want to turn the thread into why you shouldn't watch the news but taking a break from following it isn't silly at all. Doesn't mean you can learn things from other avenues but a nice clean break from following politics will probably do many people a lot of good.

In comment 13565667 manh george said:

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For me, it's a framework that includes a thirst for learning/ideas/conceptual knowledge/the arts/the history of science and humanity. Others will have a somewhat different #3, but there are lots of people who do just fine without belief in a god in their "Big 3."

Agree 100% and I am not an atheist. Joseph Campbell is the go to course for myth and mythology.

In comment 13565668 UConn4523 said:

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why not? Does naming the attorney general get you anything? The news is horrid. Don't want to turn the thread into why you shouldn't watch the news but taking a break from following it isn't silly at all. Doesn't mean you can learn things from other avenues but a nice clean break from following politics will probably do many people a lot of good.

I mean I guess you can make an argument that if being informed is bumming one out, it makes sense to embrace "ignorance is bliss".

When ignorance is unaccompanied by self-righteousness, it's fairly harmless.

Speaking frankly, I'd be embarrassed to not know basic facts about global affairs, but I understand that's not a universal sentiment. News junky-ism does tend to make one more cynical. but again there are many dry and unhysterical sources out there (PBS NewsHour, e.g.)

one of the guests only lived there maybe 3 years.

said he was -very happy- there due to "less choices".

Less shopping options, less media options, fewer social options.

Some say simplicity is the ultimate luxury (maybe some rich guy made that up, ok, but anyway).

Maybe truck driving. I dunno. Something without all the social complexity.

Remember, simplicity does not equal stupidity!

from 2015, but it is, imo, one of the most important articles ever written on thriving emotionally in an environment where the value of work--financially and psychicallly--is eroded by increasing competition from automated solutions. As many here know, I have been tracking the implications of accelerating technological change for work,, the economy, income disparity, etc. for a while--nearly 5 years by my estimate. Articles and books that approach the issue the way the linked article does remain exceedingly rare.

The following quote gets at only one of a group of important ideas in the article about how we as a society and as individuals might--or might not--make the needed adaptations. The article relates directly to CMicks' initial question, I think.

Quote:

One theory of work holds that people tend to see themselves in jobs, careers, or callings. Individuals who say their work is “just a job” emphasize that they are working for money rather than aligning themselves with any higher purpose. Those with pure careerist ambitions are focused not only on income but also on the status that comes with promotions and the growing renown of their peers. But one pursues a calling not only for pay or status, but also for the intrinsic fulfillment of the work itself. When I think about the role that work plays in people’s self-esteem—particularly in America—the prospect of a no-work future seems hopeless. There is no universal basic income that can prevent the civic ruin of a country built on a handful of workers permanently subsidizing the idleness of tens of millions of people. But a future of less work still holds a glint of hope, because the necessity of salaried jobs now prevents so many from seeking immersive activities that they enjoy.

The article is long and challenging. I would appreciate feedback from anyone who gets through it.
Link - ( New Window )

You can't change your family, relationships and the obligations involved. But you can change your job. Take it from someone who's been in the workforce for over 35 years, you don't want to be in a shit job with no light at the end of the tunnel until you're ready for Social Security. I don't know what your background is , I don't know what field you're in, and I don't know what your financial situation is. Maybe you can quit now or maybe you have to plan for it for the near future. Like everyone says the economy is good so even if you have to go to school and learn a new business, this is the time to do it. Having something to look forward to is better than working in a dead end job.

Buy an iPhone a corvette and get a slam piece from one of those sugar baby websites.

the job isn't what you do, it is who you are- then it's all cake.

It's sort of like the old, "find a job you love and you'll never work another day".

I've found this whole idea of separating what you do and who you are to be disingenuous. It also leads to frustration at work and it isn't exactly a great attitude to have for success at work- which can be just as fulfilling as any personal success you have once you realize that it is not just "something to pay the bills" and is actually just as much of a defining part of you as family.

remember:

-there is no spiritual rule or community responsibility that says 'you needith to payith a mortgage' or 'thou mustith drive a new car'.

Or even HAVE a car.

Treat random people with love and respect and you are doing a hell of a lot more that plenty of guys who tow the line on 'career' and all that stuff.

think about the stuff you really don't need; TV, beer, donuts, nice car, etc., reduce those and replace with a new hobby, holding the door for old ladys, trust me, this is a fun and rewarding hobby. and no, its not a 'pick-up trick' or any other scheme - there is an entire universe built on random, common, acts of kindness.

little things, not necessarily always random, do make a big difference. When I walk into a store and am greeted with "Hello, how are you today?" I always respond positively and ask how they are doing. More than a few times I have had sales clerks respond that hardly anyone ever asks that. I have greeted shuttle drivers by name and have been told how much they appreciate it when customers do that. I am friendly in general but it defintely helps elevate my mood when it seems like I might have helped elevate someone else's mood just by being friendly. This can be huge, too, after getting off a long, crummy flight from an exhausting work trip.

maybe because you are not expecting any response or reward, but you are opening your (call it what you want) to the humanity of a random stranger.

could just be some 'ugly', 'old', 'lady' in a 7-11.

Your opennesss here moved me. I really am rooting for you. You have received a lot of good advice so I don't have anything new. However, what helped me get through difficult times like yours was deleting my Facebook account and I never watch any news at all. It's all slanted and mostly meant to sway you, not report news. As for TV, I usually limit my viewing to two hours per day, and it is only for entertainment. Like many here, I went through a career change too, so find out what it is that really excites you. Take care.

(and i have been really bad at this at times myself, completely terrible) to stay awake and aware, one may think, teens may think (I have two) of it as banal "politeness" but that act, those habits, help a person keep the (channels) open so one can SEE (for a random example) the old lady in time to OPEN that door for her.

so, what may seem like list of silly social rules for teenagers become like a set of keys to unlocking your own personal awareness once you start.

to not be preoccupied and therefor tuned out.

a simple way to practice might be to carry a heavy complex shaped object with someone, you need to tune into what they are doing.

or hacky sack, for kids.

that's 101, manual labor helps a lot.

but, the next thing, the 'agape' thing even maybe, is being tuned in more broadly for random strangers and for no 'reason'.

maybe all this is why we find texting drivers and rude mindless type drivers so annoying, its as if they are saying, 'no, I wont be aware, fuck all you people, i am busy!'.

play a huge role. We all need to take a step back and disconnect at times.

I seem to find the same names on this site every time I visit, posting countless times a day lol. I work in an environment where I'm constantly moving and can't even check my phone for texts as often as I'd like. I'm in construction and some days if I so much as stop to adjust my balls I have someone on my ass about wasting time. I hate my job. I hate my boss. But if you have responsibilities outside of yourself you suck it up and find a way to make it work. If it gets to be at a level you can't take, quit and find something else. My whole thing is I don't tolerate being disrespected. Happened one time at my current job and I quit on the spot. I'm fortunate my boss kind of needs me and all but begged for me to return and gave me a raise to do so, but I've worked in other jobs where that wasn't the case and I had to start up a new search. Most people probably hate their job on some level. Few of us wind up doing what we dream of growing up. Focus on the people you love and come to the realization that you put yourself through this for them. It's called Manning up. Even if you're working a 50 hour work week like I do it means you're still free about 70% of the time. None of us are in sweat shops

Manh George - that's a worthwhile article. Thanks for posting it. I'm curious why the writer didn't talk about a more dystopian future, but guess he couldn't cover everything.

i leave my house at 5:45 and get home at 6:30 monday through friday, throw in a client dinner 3 or 4 times a month.

And this has only been the last 25 years. The only thing I can say is that you get used to it.

I think we've all been there. But when you hate your job, boss, etc than it doesn't matter if you work 20 hours a week or 70. Obviously have to pay the bills but you shouldn't just deal with being miserable. It can effect your spouse or your kids or you family and that doesn't seem worth it.

do you want people to feel sorry for you in life or look up to you in life?

wealth does not define the answer to that question either.

to a guy who did a hit and run OP thread start.

In comment 13571197 UConn4523 said:

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I think we've all been there. But when you hate your job, boss, etc than it doesn't matter if you work 20 hours a week or 70. Obviously have to pay the bills but you shouldn't just deal with being miserable. It can effect your spouse or your kids or you family and that doesn't seem worth it.

I had to leave a sales job in the past for this reason. Cold calls at 8am trying to sell an auto insurance policy - brutal.

I've found myself sifting thru early retirement websites more than a few times (Im 38). I recently started my own firm with a few other lawyers, leaving a job working for assholes where I was only-kinda-sort-of a "partner". I'd be surprised if Im working when my 18 month old goes to college (ie when Im 55).

In comment 13571024 Sean said:

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play a huge role. We all need to take a step back and disconnect at times.

What are you saying?
That us news/sports junkies take following news/sports like another task from our job that we can never keep on top of?