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WSJ's 28 Rules of Thanksgiving Football

njm : 11/22/2017 1:03 pm

Done every year and very tongue in cheek. I can't link but here are a few of the best:

Quote:

8. It'd incredible, but your family's starting quarterback is better than half of this year's NFL starting quarterbacks.

9. Even more incredible: your starting quarterback is Admiral Butterscotch, your sister's standard poodle.

13. I bet Tom Brady has a great Thanksgiving Touch Football game, after which he serves everyone a delicious dinner of steamed lettuce.

14. Rob Gronkowski's turkey, meanwhile, is deep-fried in Jägermeister.

20. Overall, your touch football game shouldn't resemble an NFL game. For starters, you've stayed awake for the whole thing.

25. The Browns want to sign Admiral Butterscotch. I'd suggest he holds out.