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Post Your Ben McAdoo Limerick Here

Trainmaster : 12/5/2017 11:33 am
Great post by Del, allowing folks to be creative and vent at the same time. I’m not much of a poet, so crude limericks come to me more easily.

A reminder:

Quote:
A limerick is a humorous poem consisting of five lines. The first, second, and fifth lines must have seven to ten syllables while rhyming and having the same verbal rhythm. The third and fourth lines only have to have five to seven syllables, and have to rhyme with each other and have the same rhythm.


I’ll get it started, expecting to be easily and repeated bested by the creative BBI crowd:

There once was a coach named Ben
Who some thought a leader of men
But he behaved as a dick
With his hairdo quite slick
Of his firing it was never if rather when



...  
gidiefor : Mod : 12/5/2017 11:40 am : link
the once was a coach from Green Bay
who came to teach Eli to Play
he made him throw faster
then came to disaster
when taking him out for a day
You all need to quickly  
oldutican : 12/5/2017 11:42 am : link
get a life.
There once was a man from ol' Macka  
Mark C : 12/5/2017 11:43 am : link
Who sported a greasy slick do

His offense went limp

He became Eli's pimp

Now his keycard is no longer blue
I stole this from the haiku thread:  
mrvax : 12/5/2017 11:43 am : link
How 'bout a limeric?
mrvax : 11:29 am : link : reply

There once was a coach named McAdoo.
All he could do was suspend you.
He tried to be slick
'twas merely a dick
and ended up having to eat poo
at least you posted the rules.  
Rocky369 : 12/5/2017 11:45 am : link
I’m the smartest guy in the room,
Just look at the way that I groom.
11 and 5 earned a pass,
But throw Eli out on his ass -
My coaching career is now doomed.
.  
cjac : 12/5/2017 11:47 am : link
There once was a guy named Ben
He was gonna get fired, but when?
He benched the QB
He's gone, and we see
Everyone on Sunday wearing 10
There once was a coach from Green Bay  
Greg from LI : 12/5/2017 11:48 am : link
What he did well, I couldn't say
But they gave him the job,
Now he runs from the mob,
And we wait for a new coach one day.
RE: There once was a coach from Green Bay  
HomerJones45 : 12/5/2017 11:54 am : link
In comment 13725650 Greg from LI said:
Quote:
What he did well, I couldn't say
But they gave him the job,
Now he runs from the mob,
And we wait for a new coach one day.
You have a gift
...  
Keith : 12/5/2017 11:56 am : link
He came to the Giants for work
He came across like a big jerk
He slicked back his hair
Never was fair
Not long after his key card didn't work
Nice Work, Keep Them Coming (Reese Is Fair Game Too)  
Trainmaster : 12/5/2017 12:00 pm : link


There once was a GM named Reese
Of his peers, he dreamed of the big fleece
But instead of finding blockers
He struck out (say his knockers)
Through his line rushers were as crap through geese



Big Mac thought he was really slick  
PatersonPlank : 12/5/2017 12:03 pm : link
but his antics made the fans sick
He thought he was smart
when he had Geno Smith start
but in the end he's just an arrogant prick


Reese? OK  
Greg from LI : 12/5/2017 12:04 pm : link
Jerry Reese was the Giants' GM
Won a couple of titles with them
But he failed in the draft
And neglected his craft
And he's looking for work once again

OK, slight cheat on the last rhyme, but it's close enough!
Good riddance to you Ben McAdoo  
BigBlue4You09 : 12/5/2017 12:05 pm : link
I picture your face in the toilet when i take a poo
If I could Id drop a huge steamer on your face
Unless of course Reese stood in your place
You were both useless pieces of crap
And I hope you both get the clap
Ah finally a real thread for me!  
ThatLimerickGuy : 12/5/2017 12:14 pm : link
Ben thought his offense a machine
It turned out to be just obscene
Now unemployed with nothing to do
He can now join Rodgers in the midwest gay club scene

;-)
.  
arcarsenal : 12/5/2017 12:18 pm : link
Coach McAdoo arrived with new, slicked back hair,
Yet his offense could not produce a scare
He forgot his gatorade inside and cried,
When trying his key card resulted in "access denied"



Did I do that one right?
RE: Good riddance to you Ben McAdoo  
cjac : 12/5/2017 12:19 pm : link
In comment 13725684 BigBlue4You09 said:
Quote:
I picture your face in the toilet when i take a poo
If I could Id drop a huge steamer on your face
Unless of course Reese stood in your place
You were both useless pieces of crap
And I hope you both get the clap


Not in the rules of what a limerick is, however, rhyming McAdoo with poo was really great. i'm sorry I didnt think of it.
Arc  
Trainmaster : 12/5/2017 12:20 pm : link
Great start; you need one more line.
There was a Giants coach named Mac  
Giants61 : 12/5/2017 12:20 pm : link
With Adoo that was slicked back
When a record of 11 and 5
Proved to be a lot of jive
And now he's havin' bags to pack
RE: Arc  
arcarsenal : 12/5/2017 12:23 pm : link
In comment 13725722 Trainmaster said:
Quote:
Great start; you need one more line.


Damnit. How about this?

Coach McAdoo arrived with new, slicked back hair,
Yet his offense could not produce a scare
He forgot his gatorade inside and cried,
When trying his key card resulted in "access denied"
In his oversized suit, he resembled a giant misshapen pear
RE: Ah finally a real thread for me!  
Rocky369 : 12/5/2017 12:24 pm : link
In comment 13725705 ThatLimerickGuy said:
Quote:
Ben thought his offense a machine
It turned out to be just obscene
Now unemployed with nothing to do
He can now join Rodgers in the midwest gay club scene

;-)

how is it possible that you screwed that up?
gidie's was great  
Moondawg : 12/5/2017 12:31 pm : link
here's mine

Mac promised to make Eli better--
be he can't even buy a good sweater
he blustered and stumbled
While team simply crumbled
we all know we could do so much better.

...

Here's one more.

They promised the roads would be fairer
With Coughlin in the rear-view mirror.
But mac couldn't come through-
and the fans staged a coup.
Let's all cherish the "Geno Smith era"


arc, you are getting there  
Moondawg : 12/5/2017 12:34 pm : link
but the 3rd and 4th lines should be shorter and quicker.
Now Reese  
PatersonPlank : 12/5/2017 12:42 pm : link
Reese was a GM and Scout too
Tom Coughlin he did screw
He survived lots of losses
And lousy draft choices
But couldn't survive McAdoo
Reese  
Gregorio : 12/5/2017 12:46 pm : link
They hired a GM named Jerry
Who found a right guard named Jerry
The offense was dismal
It came to a fizzle
And fans were left feeling sorry
There once was a coach from Nantucket...  
x meadowlander : 12/5/2017 12:51 pm : link
>:)
John Mara was caught in a pickle  
Greg from LI : 12/5/2017 12:59 pm : link
The coach thought the QB was too fickle
So in Geno came
The boos, how they rained
And now their season ain't worth a nickel.
RE: There once was a coach from Nantucket...  
BigBlue4You09 : 12/5/2017 1:05 pm : link
In comment 13725782 x meadowlander said:
Quote:
>:)


With a penis so small he could tuck it
I'll play  
GiantTuff1 : 12/5/2017 1:05 pm : link

Top o' the morning to ya Ben
we thought with big sheet he would win
when his O was exposed
emperor had no clothes
Returned to the Giants has Zen
RE: x meadowlander  
Trainmaster : 12/5/2017 1:10 pm : link
I’ll take the challenge (and try to keep it relatively clean)

There was a coach not from ‘Ol Nantuck
Who promised his teams wouldn’t suck
Though happy his name included “do”
Our high hopes we soon bid adieu
Now with Spags we hope for better luck


My 2:  
The_Boss : 12/5/2017 1:59 pm : link
Ben was a douche from Homer City
Who designed an offense that was very shitty.
He thought being a coach was why he was born
With that greasy hair and a mustache for porn.
In the end tho getting canned wasn't a pity.


When Ben got hired it wasn't a shock
Management tabbed him to lead the Big Blue flock.
He burst on the scene sporting a large suit of blue
Many ugly failures later it was clear to those who knew
Ben had to go because he really sucked the cock.
...  
gidiefor : Mod : 12/5/2017 2:00 pm : link
there once was a GM named Reece
whose coach was too fond of hair grease
he thought it was slick
instead of a brick
till mortally wounded they ceased
Reece:  
The_Boss : 12/5/2017 2:13 pm : link
There once was an ignoramus named Jerry Reese
Whose drafts looked like the droppings of geese.
Year after year he defended his pick
When all he did was look like a prick
Mercifully yesterday his responsibilities cease.
the giants hired an assistant  
UESBLUE : 12/5/2017 2:24 pm : link
good one year but fans then became pissed and
Eli sat down
Mr Mara he frowned
and Mac he just got fisted.
....  
FatMan in Charlotte : 12/5/2017 2:52 pm : link
His suit was a Triple XL
And his porn stache didn't go over too well
Transformed into slick
That couldn't coach a lick
And on that fat face he fell
.  
idiotsavant : 12/5/2017 2:52 pm : link
There once was a coach from Chicago
Whose hair he did gel and then dry blow

Cliche's in one hand
On Rodgers he'd stand

His methods and models
now banned so
.  
Gary JC : 12/5/2017 2:56 pm : link
There once was a man from Homer City
To coach a team whose fans showed no pity
He spoke heavy-handed
But on his ass he so landed
Now the fanatics no longer feel shitty
I'll play  
GiantSteps : 12/5/2017 3:03 pm : link
Mac said "Protect the Duke"
Yet our O-line made us wanna puke
No run and no pass
The QB's on his ass
To the tape Mac goes back to look

New heartbreaks with every new week
Big Blue made losing unique
Finding new ways
of blowing key plays
and ruining historic streaks

No sportscaster who is alive
predicted from 'leven and 5
we'd go 2 and 9
they thought we'd be fine
but Mac turned out to be jive

So now the dumpster's on fire
At coach we need a new hire
it's a shame to say
it's better this way
But Eli, don't choose to retire!
Born on 7/9/77  
B in ALB : 12/5/2017 3:31 pm : link
Last year's team won eleven
But this year they suck ass
Ben McAdoo is trash
Perhaps they'll rehire Gilbride Kevin
Once there was a coach named B-Mac  
jnoble : 12/5/2017 4:07 pm : link
Who's offense in points it did lack
His hair was slicked
Seemed like a prick
Now he'll never come back
There was once a coach named Ben  
3putt : 12/5/2017 7:52 pm : link
Whose losses amounted to ten
Instead of being upstanding
He blamed Eli Mannning
And now his tenure did end.
RE: There was once a coach named Ben  
Modus Operandi : 12/5/2017 8:22 pm : link
In comment 13726651 3putt said:
Quote:
Whose losses amounted to ten
Instead of being upstanding
He blamed Eli Mannning
And now his tenure did end.


Nicely done.
Who doesn't love a good limerick?  
RomanWH : 12/5/2017 8:41 pm : link
No receivers and crappy Oline
Bad running game, another sign
For Ben and Reese the cost
For this season that's lost
Their jobs after Eli rode the pine
Here goes  
Modus Operandi : 12/5/2017 8:47 pm : link
A budding mind, we were told,
A genius, so smart, so bold,
Intead we got Beavis,
Now jobless and keyless,
No longer head of household.
.  
Del Shofner : 12/5/2017 8:56 pm : link
There once was a coach's decision
That received the fans' total derision -
If Eli must sit
Why would Geno be it?
The result was a contract rescission.
.  
jhibb : 12/5/2017 9:08 pm : link
The guy thought he could coach in New York
But his schemes were too easy to bork
He blamed it on Manning
Which ended up fanning
The torches and got him the pitchfork
Here's another  
Modus Operandi : 12/5/2017 10:00 pm : link
Proudly, he took to the stage
Fans fears, he hoped to assuage,
With hair not quite matte,
suit of fine wharf rat,
Offense, fresh from the Bronze Age.
Man, so many good limericks  
Modus Operandi : 12/5/2017 10:10 pm : link
Had no idea how many literates we have here.
There's once  
Bleedin Blue : 12/5/2017 10:30 pm : link
Was a coach named McAdoo
His hair was full of goo,
He walked around with such a big list
Benched Eli, and everyone was pissed!
Now all he has is his slicked back hair,
No job, no team, but don't despair
He's still getting paid, so he'll be able to buy that shit
he puts in his hair.
_  
Banks : 12/5/2017 10:55 pm : link
He started off in an oversized suit
Installed an offense that couldn't execute
When we went two and ten
It wasn't looking good Ben
That's why Mara gave you the boot
Wow, Great Job Everyone  
Trainmaster : 12/6/2017 10:05 am : link
Keep them coming!
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