for display only
Big Blue Interactive The Corner Forum  
Back to the Corner

Archived Thread

NFT: What's the closest YOU'VE come to sexual harassment ...

Beezer : 12/12/2017 9:16 am
... in the workplace?

I've always been fortunate enough to work with very cool, realistic women in the handful of jobs I've held after college. I've always had a significant other along the way, and the one time I dated a co-worker, she was in a different department and we worked different shifts, so even if there was a temptation to be flirty at work, the opportunity was never there, so no worries.

I do recall a couple women I worked with when I was 32-25 age range. They were both older and my wife and I became solid friends with them and their husbands (they were at our wedding, we did Christmas parties in the same circle, that sort of thing.) And the closest it ever got was us joking one day about how we all WISHED someone would sexually harass us ... and how that might be nice for a change.

Obviously, an opportunity for jokes here. But curious if folks here have witnessed it, been in the middle (receiving, of course, since no BBIer would ever stoop) ... that sorta thing.

(((Someone rush to the obligatory MP photo, to get it out of the way.)))
Pages: 1 2 | Show All |  Next>>
32-35 age range***  
Beezer : 12/12/2017 9:17 am : link
.
Never  
section125 : 12/12/2017 9:25 am : link
either way.
christmas parties are notorious for these incidents...  
GMAN4LIFE : 12/12/2017 9:27 am : link
many get fired from the aftermath of these.
Went on some work rewards trips in Cancun  
BigBlueDownTheShore : 12/12/2017 9:32 am : link
everyone got hammered at the all inclusive resorts.

Every year someone would get fired, for cheating on their spouses with other employees while on this strip. The last one I was on 3 people were canned upon arriving home.
I've never attended a "notorious" Christmas party  
Beezer : 12/12/2017 9:33 am : link
for work. These days we all just cook something and we have a lunch at the office. Obviously, no alcohol. Seems a safe route.

Many years ago at a different job the boss had a party at his house. Can't recall the event, but it was a Sunday noon-to-evening sort of thing. Next morning we were learning about a guy we worked with, relatively new guy, who went home to his apartment complex, was apparently hammered, got a knife, went to his complex's laundry facility/pool house and held a Japanese woman at knife-point. Forced her into a closet and to undress. She got away. Her husband worked for Toyota at a southern Indiana plant and she spoke little English but she ID'd the guy. Yeah, he went to jail. That's bit past "harassment," though. Dude was clearly fucked up.
That guy was also a married guy,  
Beezer : 12/12/2017 9:34 am : link
fwiw.
RE: Went on some work rewards trips in Cancun  
baadbill : 12/12/2017 9:37 am : link
In comment 13736855 BigBlueDownTheShore said:
Quote:
everyone got hammered at the all inclusive resorts.

Every year someone would get fired, for cheating on their spouses with other employees while on this strip. The last one I was on 3 people were canned upon arriving home.


Were they fired for having sex with co-employees? Or were they fired solely because they had sex while married to someone else?
Some dude's wife  
Joey in VA : 12/12/2017 9:37 am : link
Was slobbering all over me during a minor baseball game our company paid for us to go to as a team building day when I was about 22 or 23. She was rocked and would not take her hands off of me and trying to sit in my lap, which she would have crushed permanently.
20 or so years ago, the married VP of my dept  
Section331 : 12/12/2017 9:39 am : link
was boinking a chick in the office. He created a job for her and told everyone else "don't bother applying". A couple of women went to our (all male) management team, and they turned around and harassed the women - rejecting expenses, for example, when men in the department got reimbursed for the same thing.

The VP was really careless, storing his expense reports in an unlocked file cabinet in an open bay area. A couple of the women went through his expense reports, and found charges for personal items, including hotel rooms in NY. This time, they went to HR, and he was frog marched out of the office. He got divorced, and died of a heart attack a short time later.
I’m trying  
eli4life : 12/12/2017 9:40 am : link
But nobody is harassing me
About 15 years ago, an older female coworker came on to me  
mfsd : 12/12/2017 9:40 am : link
pretty strong. Make whatever jokes you see fit, but it was uncomfortable...despite politely letting her know I wasn’t interested, she persisted, and I saved some of the emails in case I needed to go to HR.

I remember thinking I didn’t want to make a big deal or hurt her job standing, just wanted it to stop, so I never brought it up with HR or management.

Several months later I took a new position with the company that required relocating, so nothing came of it.

Then a year later she reported a friend of mine for looking up an NSFW website, and he got fired. I was pissed and wanted to throw her under the bus in retaliation...but deep down, I knew my buddy was guilty as charged and doing that wouldn’t save his job, so let it go.

Point being, I’m sympathetic to those who endure it, and the stress/uncertainty about whether it’s appropriate to bring up or not. And anyone who thinks it’s only men doing it to women is naive.
Why do they fire someone for having sex  
mdthedream : 12/12/2017 9:52 am : link
sorry but its a trip and really not a job issue and a reason to fire someone. Now if someone complained it was forced than I can understand.
Never  
RinR : 12/12/2017 9:54 am : link
it was consensual
I've never been  
Modus Operandi : 12/12/2017 9:56 am : link
But my gf - who has worked for the VA going on twenty years has plenty if stories. Guys pulling dropping their pants and pulling out their junk, etc. Most of them are still working there from what I understand.
Women  
allstarjim : 12/12/2017 9:56 am : link
Have grabbed my ass at work several times. One time, as I was standing in the entrance to a co-worker's cubicle, she grabbed my package unexpectedly. It wasn't welcomed. I don't think women are any better. The only difference is that women are more likely to go to HR and fuck someone over about it. I never said anything to superiors or otherwise because there was no reason to make it a big deal. I suppose the only other difference is that in these cases none of these women had supervisory authority over me.
I used to work in retail...  
Gmaniac1 : 12/12/2017 9:59 am : link
... we had a secure cash room to the side. It was the end of the night and we were wrapping up. I was alone with a female coworker about the same age as me (25ish) counting a stack of money while I sat on a work counter.

She was always on the flirty side... but I never reciprocated that (IMO). I was polite but stand-offish.

Anywho, she came over... moved my knees apart with her hands... moved her body into that space... and started laying hands on me.

Heck no... I hopped down and away immediately... I didn't know quite what to do, so I played it off with a laugh and said something like we need to finish up and get home... she didn't try any further advances.

FTR: I was in a relationship... to say nothing of the fact that it was the damn cash room and there were cameras everywhere... heck, someone could have been monitoring in the other room. Heck no.

Nothing came of it. Didn't report her. Over the course of time... she gained a reputation of someone who sleeps around... multiple dudes who worked there had stories about her. She probably had some sort of issue with the need for sex and attention, that's the way she came across to me.
Never  
trueblueinpw : 12/12/2017 10:00 am : link
Never been close either way. Just not my thing. Never been accused of anything like that either. It’s annoying that there’s so many people who defend this kind of deviant behavior by suggesting it’s common. I think there are a minority of men that do these sorts of things but I’m not really sure why they’ve always gotten away with it. Women have a very low status in our world.
Never  
Gman11 : 12/12/2017 10:02 am : link
When I owned my own business I remember having a casual conversation with one of my female employees and we got on the subject of sexual harassment in the workplace. I said I'm real careful of what I say because a simple, "You look nice today" could be reported as sexual harassment.
Rodney Dangerfield Joke  
Trainmaster : 12/12/2017 10:03 am : link
Quote:
"Showbiz — what a racket. Sometimes I think back on all the women I had to sleep with to get where I got!"
notorious christmas parties usually occur with financial  
GMAN4LIFE : 12/12/2017 10:04 am : link
company parties.. traders and their money think they can get all they want.

One time in the World Trade Center, 2 traders were getting it from prostitutes they brought up. They were both fired the next day.

20 years ago, company-held boat cruise.  
Boy Cord : 12/12/2017 10:09 am : link
One of the male directors had a squirt gun and shit a few women in their private parts area. Immature as hell. He was canned.

Other than that, just a bunch of senior male employees having sex with female subordinates.
.  
pjcas18 : 12/12/2017 10:14 am : link
I was an intern at a small Northeastern software company.

l never thought these stories were true, until about ten years ago l had an experience that changed my mind.

l just had to share it with you.

l had resigned myself to another day of reading your magazine at my desk when there was a knock on my office door.

And when I opened the door, I could hardly believe my eyes.

There were two of the foxiest twins I had ever seen with long brunette hair, legs that wouldn't quit......

I used to work for a woman  
bradshaw44 : 12/12/2017 10:15 am : link
She was 45 I was 27. She was a formerly hot/popular girl about town type. She had completely lost it by then of course. But she used to have me zip up her sun dresses and little things like that. She also would tell me about her sexual exploits as a younger woman. And I mean, she went into detail and wasn’t afraid to talk about how easy she was. It never really crossed those lines but in my head I knew I had a case if I wanted to bury her. Thing is, I don’t want to be known for that, nor did i think it was anything I couldn’t just roll my eyes at and go on with my day.
Never  
joeinpa : 12/12/2017 10:19 am : link
But guys and women I worked with were very good friends

In today's climate some if the kidding that went on both ways might be labeled differently l, but not then.

never for me  
UConn4523 : 12/12/2017 10:20 am : link
but I've seen it at a few different companies, usually at happy hours or company parties.
Just recalled this ...  
Beezer : 12/12/2017 10:20 am : link
... IT guy I work with went to help a female employee. She has no filter, and doesn't have many boundaries. Often inappropriate (not with me ... but I've heard about and witnessed a few things with her and others).

This one time he helps her computer situation and she wants to bring it in for a hug. lol. He's an unassuming, decent guy, so he does ... at lunchtime that day he's telling us that when she gave the hug, she both-hands grabbed his ass and (she's a big lady) actually picked him up a little bit. By the ass grope. lol

We were all so entertained (males and females) and he was joking about it ... nothing else occurred. It's just different when you're a guy, I guess. It's less of a deal, I suppose, since you really don't feel threatened.

I understand there are situations where it would be much more difficult. This one, though, was just funny as hell.
RE: I've never been  
Beezer : 12/12/2017 10:21 am : link
In comment 13736916 Modus Operandi said:
Quote:
But my gf - who has worked for the VA going on twenty years has plenty if stories. Guys pulling dropping their pants and pulling out their junk, etc. Most of them are still working there from what I understand.


How the fuck do guys just drop their pants and "take it out" at work? lol I really don't get it. Do they truly see this as a non-issue? Gotta be mental problems in those cases.
A 30 yr old neighbor when I was 22 and in the Navy  
montanagiant : 12/12/2017 10:22 am : link
We had a party and She came on to me I banged her and I liked it.

My sexual harassment story
One other thing I remember from years ago ...  
Beezer : 12/12/2017 10:25 am : link
... had an openly gay supervisor. Decent guy, lousy boss. He was flamboyant and liked to "shock" people. One day I walked into his office and first thing he says, "You look sexy today," to which I laughed and told him to shut the fuck up. He just laughed.
RE: 20 years ago, company-held boat cruise.  
Nick in LA : 12/12/2017 10:26 am : link
In comment 13736948 Boy Cord said:
Quote:
One of the male directors had a squirt gun and shit a few women in their private parts area. Immature as hell. He was canned.


I would hope he would be fired for shitting on some lady bits.
About 10 years ago, an older woman that worked in my  
Someguy1978 : 12/12/2017 10:32 am : link
IT department at my old job began to heavily with flirt with me. She was older, (late 40's early 50's) and I was in my late 20's at the time. I turned down her advances, she was married and not that attractive, and I wasn't interested in her or getting involved with a married woman.

On a Friday afternoon, I am getting ready to leave for the day and she calls my extension and she tells me she put an envelope in my mailbox up front, but told me not to open it at work. I retrieved the envelope from my mailbox and went home. In the envelope was a six page letter telling me her ultimate sexual fantasies in graphic detail. I was mortified.

I returned to work on Monday. I walked into the break room shortly after arriving to get a cup of coffee and she walked in. She asked me if I read her letter. I told her that I did, and I did not appreciate her placing it in my mailbox. I told her I was not interested in her, I never had been interested in her and if she persisted, I would turn the letter over to HR. The look she gave me was a look of hurt and shock. I had already made it clear to her in the past that I was not interested in her.

She never said another word to me again.
RE: RE: 20 years ago, company-held boat cruise.  
Modus Operandi : 12/12/2017 10:33 am : link
In comment 13736986 Nick in LA said:
Quote:
In comment 13736948 Boy Cord said:


Quote:


One of the male directors had a squirt gun and shit a few women in their private parts area. Immature as hell. He was canned.




I would hope he would be fired for shitting on some lady bits.


In some parts of Asia, people pay good money for stuff like that.
RE: A 30 yr old neighbor when I was 22 and in the Navy  
BrettNYG10 : 12/12/2017 10:33 am : link
In comment 13736972 montanagiant said:
Quote:
We had a party and She came on to me I banged her and I liked it.

My sexual harassment story


I'm so sorry you had to suffer like this.
RE: RE: I've never been  
Modus Operandi : 12/12/2017 10:34 am : link
In comment 13736967 Beezer said:
Quote:
In comment 13736916 Modus Operandi said:


Quote:


But my gf - who has worked for the VA going on twenty years has plenty if stories. Guys pulling dropping their pants and pulling out their junk, etc. Most of them are still working there from what I understand.



How the fuck do guys just drop their pants and "take it out" at work? lol I really don't get it. Do they truly see this as a non-issue? Gotta be mental problems in those cases.


It's been more than one guy...
RE: RE: A 30 yr old neighbor when I was 22 and in the Navy  
Modus Operandi : 12/12/2017 10:35 am : link
In comment 13737005 BrettNYG10 said:
Quote:
In comment 13736972 montanagiant said:


Quote:


We had a party and She came on to me I banged her and I liked it.

My sexual harassment story



I'm so sorry you had to suffer like this.


I call BS. Montana is land locked. No chance in hell they have a Navy.
RE: .  
Enzo : 12/12/2017 10:37 am : link
In comment 13736951 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
I was an intern at a small Northeastern software company.

l never thought these stories were true, until about ten years ago l had an experience that changed my mind.

l just had to share it with you.

l had resigned myself to another day of reading your magazine at my desk when there was a knock on my office door.

And when I opened the door, I could hardly believe my eyes.

There were two of the foxiest twins I had ever seen with long brunette hair, legs that wouldn't quit......

exactly.
RE: About 15 years ago, an older female coworker came on to me  
Someguy1978 : 12/12/2017 10:37 am : link
In comment 13736876 mfsd said:
Quote:
pretty strong. Make whatever jokes you see fit, but it was uncomfortable...despite politely letting her know I wasn’t interested, she persisted, and I saved some of the emails in case I needed to go to HR.

I remember thinking I didn’t want to make a big deal or hurt her job standing, just wanted it to stop, so I never brought it up with HR or management.

Several months later I took a new position with the company that required relocating, so nothing came of it.

Then a year later she reported a friend of mine for looking up an NSFW website, and he got fired. I was pissed and wanted to throw her under the bus in retaliation...but deep down, I knew my buddy was guilty as charged and doing that wouldn’t save his job, so let it go.

Point being, I’m sympathetic to those who endure it, and the stress/uncertainty about whether it’s appropriate to bring up or not. And anyone who thinks it’s only men doing it to women is naive.



Well said, mfsd. You are correct in that it is uncomfortable, along with the stress and uncertainity that weighs on you about bringing it up.
RE: RE: A 30 yr old neighbor when I was 22 and in the Navy  
montanagiant : 12/12/2017 10:40 am : link
In comment 13737005 BrettNYG10 said:
Quote:
In comment 13736972 montanagiant said:


Quote:


We had a party and She came on to me I banged her and I liked it.

My sexual harassment story



I'm so sorry you had to suffer like this.

It's been a hard 30 years dealing with it
RE: RE: RE: A 30 yr old neighbor when I was 22 and in the Navy  
montanagiant : 12/12/2017 10:41 am : link
In comment 13737009 Modus Operandi said:
Quote:
In comment 13737005 BrettNYG10 said:


Quote:


In comment 13736972 montanagiant said:


Quote:


We had a party and She came on to me I banged her and I liked it.

My sexual harassment story



I'm so sorry you had to suffer like this.



I call BS. Montana is land locked. No chance in hell they have a Navy.

Hey they have Ft Peck Reservoir out there!
RE: RE: RE: RE: A 30 yr old neighbor when I was 22 and in the Navy  
Modus Operandi : 12/12/2017 10:45 am : link
In comment 13737021 montanagiant said:
Quote:
In comment 13737009 Modus Operandi said:


Quote:


In comment 13737005 BrettNYG10 said:


Quote:


In comment 13736972 montanagiant said:


Quote:


We had a party and She came on to me I banged her and I liked it.

My sexual harassment story



I'm so sorry you had to suffer like this.



I call BS. Montana is land locked. No chance in hell they have a Navy.


Hey they have Ft Peck Reservoir out there!


How many coon hats do you guys have patrolling the Reservoir?
RE: RE: RE: A 30 yr old neighbor when I was 22 and in the Navy  
section125 : 12/12/2017 10:46 am : link
In comment 13737009 Modus Operandi said:
Quote:
In comment 13737005 BrettNYG10 said:


Quote:


In comment 13736972 montanagiant said:


Quote:


We had a party and She came on to me I banged her and I liked it.

My sexual harassment story



I'm so sorry you had to suffer like this.



I call BS. Montana is land locked. No chance in hell they have a Navy.


They call it a Navy, but is just a herd of reindeer.
RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: A 30 yr old neighbor when I was 22 and in the Navy  
montanagiant : 12/12/2017 10:48 am : link
In comment 13737035 Modus Operandi said:
Quote:
In comment 13737021 montanagiant said:


Quote:


In comment 13737009 Modus Operandi said:


Quote:


In comment 13737005 BrettNYG10 said:


Quote:


In comment 13736972 montanagiant said:


Quote:


We had a party and She came on to me I banged her and I liked it.

My sexual harassment story



I'm so sorry you had to suffer like this.



I call BS. Montana is land locked. No chance in hell they have a Navy.


Hey they have Ft Peck Reservoir out there!



How many coon hats do you guys have patrolling the Reservoir?

It's Beaver hats up there.
none  
Victor in CT : 12/12/2017 10:49 am : link
dammit
RE: RE: RE: RE: A 30 yr old neighbor when I was 22 and in the Navy  
montanagiant : 12/12/2017 10:50 am : link
In comment 13737037 section125 said:
Quote:
In comment 13737009 Modus Operandi said:


Quote:


In comment 13737005 BrettNYG10 said:


Quote:


In comment 13736972 montanagiant said:


Quote:


We had a party and She came on to me I banged her and I liked it.

My sexual harassment story



I'm so sorry you had to suffer like this.



I call BS. Montana is land locked. No chance in hell they have a Navy.



They call it a Navy, but is just a herd of reindeer.

We actually use Sheep. Here we are doing some invasion training
RE: christmas parties are notorious for these incidents...  
Del Shofner : 12/12/2017 10:57 am : link
In comment 13736846 GMAN4LIFE said:
Quote:
many get fired from the aftermath of these.


I met my wife at the firm's Christmas party when we worked at the same firm. Definitely a "notorious incident" in my life, but it worked out OK! That was 1978.

Other than that, maybe one Christmas party at my firm, many, many years ago in the '80s ... we had some crazy ones.
When I was 16, I was joking around with a waitress at the restaurant  
Heisenberg : 12/12/2017 11:00 am : link
where I cooked. I grabbed her ass. I had seen other guys do similar stuff in the kitchen. She let me know immediately that I had gone too far, chewed me out on the spot. I took my verbal drubbing and learned my lesson right there.
I am a straight guy  
NDMedics : 12/12/2017 11:24 am : link
bartending in a gay bar in the West Village in the mid-late 80's. It was called Kelly's, sexually harassed every minute I was in there, and got a glimpse of what it must be like for women every waking minute of there lives. Anyway I made bank there!!!!
Harassment vs Hostile Work Environment  
Bernie : 12/12/2017 11:30 am : link
Harassment by definition can only occur between a manager and a subordinate while a hostile work environment can occur among all employees regardless of position or title.

I bring this up because in my early days, I worked with groups of 25-35 year old's who commonly worked 100+ hour work weeks. As a result, there was plenty of flirting, hooking up and comments between both sexes. Back then, nobody thought twice about this behavior because it was generally the result of people spending the majority of their waking hours together. Today, those same behaviors would be considered hostile (even if consensual) and cost people their jobs.
RE: RE: A 30 yr old neighbor when I was 22 and in the Navy  
Cap'n Bluebeard : 12/12/2017 11:51 am : link
In comment 13737005 BrettNYG10 said:
Quote:
In comment 13736972 montanagiant said:


Quote:


We had a party and She came on to me I banged her and I liked it.

My sexual harassment story




I'm so sorry you she had to suffer like this.
When I was younger  
UESBLUE : 12/12/2017 11:56 am : link
I worked for an old queen who made a lot of flirtatious remarks. So not much really. Separately , as Ive said on here before, literally every woman in my family/life has been either sexually harassed, abused or assaulted. And you will be amazed what you hear in your life when you make it safe for those you love to "come out."
Pages: 1 2 | Show All |  Next>>
Back to the Corner