Operating Theater: Small men's room a in shared office complex. One stall. Two urinals. Two sinks.
Aggravating Incident: Full-blown emergency. The turtle is leaving the building.
The Situation: Men's room is empty. Someone left it recently and dropped an atom bomb of nose hair-curling proportions. Typical rule in this situation is to get out of Dodge, but the emergency backdoor evac prevents that as a possibility. I decide to enter the stall and complete my mission as swiftly as humanly possible and scram. Someone enters before I can high-tail it out, just as I'm leaving the stall. We lock eyes, watery from the fumes that are most certainly not my own doing.
Do I:
a) Avoid eye contact and leave the men's room without saying a word. This automatically implicates me as the offender and I'll forever be known as Mr. Hanky;
b) Say "Man, the guy who was in here before me... Wow," or something else that would implicate anyone else but me. In his shoes, I wouldn't believe me either; or
c) ....?
other than the fact you avoid shitting at work like the plague, you don't let anyone see you doing it, especially when it smells like a fecal factory.
other than the fact you avoid shitting at work like the plague, you don't let anyone see you doing it, especially when it smells like a fecal factory.
*exiting*
Basically, there's nothing you can do. Just wash your hands and head out knowing that person will look at you differently for the rest of your time there.
other than the fact you avoid shitting at work like the plague, you don't let anyone see you doing it, especially when it smells like a fecal factory.
That option is off the table in this situation. He came in just as I was exiting the stall. I'm not sure there's even a rule that covers this. I may have found a wormhole in the Man Code.
I considered this and imagined nodding and saying "I challenge you to do better."
You don't wash your hands? Nasty m'fer.
Your mouth "Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukha". Or "who took a dump on the Keanza BUsh".
Otherwise, just wash and leave without conversation or acknowledgement.
for giant turds, you call your buddies in.
Ya'll got weird ideas about the mens room
Beats running into a co-worker after dropping a smelly deuce.
married?
Quote:
Grow a pair and own it.
I considered this and imagined nodding and saying "I challenge you to do better."
Agree, own the shit and own the entire fucking office. This thread might be the best thing to happen around here since OBJ got cheap shot in the pre season.
No, because I'm evil!
This was really clever.
Never say anything
Dankbeerman : 12/15/2017 11:30 pm : link : reply
leave the seat up, bluff the #1