Hey all sorry for the troll like thread or whatever feel free to flame away..
TLDRs suck sooo basically
& gt;Together 5 years
& gt;Loved her and still love her very much
About 1 year ago she started therapy to deal with past trauma
& gt;Past year + she's been nasty at times, lacks energy, zero sexual appetite
& gt;I've expressed my needs etc etc about 5 months ago and a few times since then
& gt;No positive results from my exrpessions (yes I know very weak of me to express my feelings to a woman, I understand this was a massive mistake)
& gt;We do not live together. We live in the same town though.
Now I would have broken up sooner, but up until a year ago I was about to put a ring on her without any second thought. We have some amazing memories together but unfortunately I realized these are just memories and in the past 13-14 months I have just 2-3 good memories with her and they all took place on lavish vacations..
Now I'm a mess. Getting zero sex, and can't help but think she's gotta be getting it elsewhere despite zero evidence. Makes me wanna have sex with skinny blonde whores (my infedility goto in past relationships)to satisfy my needs but I don't because I'm a loyal guy who thought I had real love.
Either way cheating or not cheating and let's just assume not , I'm not happy.
Bbi , I break up with this girl right? Based off what I provided ?
Or do I keep fighting a bit longer and suck it up, real great love has a cost at times and I need to be patient and let her heal more in therapy and hope for the best, maybe give her two more months?
Try for a yes or no based off what's provided , bbi is a bad place for this, but I figured some of my haters could laugh at my pain and I'd like the wholesome masculine gritty BBi opinion over the softball men's health and huffington post relationship answers
Also blasting in the butt seems off the table
Flame away at my sad current self. I'm normally a super happy guy, just caught up in potential high grade Thottery robbing me and sapping me of a lot of positive energy lately
yes I have considered it, although I've been reluctant to express such an interest to be honest. I'm sure I could make that happen if it's worth salvaging.
I just don't want to end up being that foolish guy that ignored the obvious signs. I guess im checking to see how normal this is before I scorch earth with her.
One thing I will say I recently (1.5 months ago) tried in a very loving and positive way proposed we goto niagra falls for the next upcoming weekend , I offered to get a rental car and hotel room near the falls thinking it could rekindle atleast the sexual aspect of things and she balked at it saying it was expensive and she flat out didn't want to . That hurt my heart, and made me start to seriously doubt us
I already regret it. Lol.
Sorry fam I might have to pull the plug on this thread if I get a lot of Spike like answers (they are certainly welcome tho, I advocate brutal honesty like Spikes. Maybe he's right and we do need another guy , but that's where I draw the line and exit the relationship if that's the case but sometimes the things that scare you most you just don't want to hear.
A google search with my dirty cookies for (gf won't have sex) turns up some naughty naughty video material . Dirty for the soul
Sadly I concur.
I guess bbi was my last hope of something talking me
Out of it . Desperate but I know this place wouldn't let me down for cold hard truth
Stan, your dead on.
She rose up in that moment and helped carry me thru it emotionally.
I feel like I've held onto that to tightly and firmly and is the hardest part about her to let go ...
The wrong Love sucks guys. Bless all you happily married or commited men and women.
Interesting advice Milton!
Very different and bold, I actually really appreciate this tid bit. Will definitely at the very least impact how I end it (won't scorch earth)
I think that theory isn't fool proof, but I like how it fits my situation pretty well. Thank you for that creative perspective
I hate to say it but if you aren't having sex I think your suspicions are right. She is most likely getting it elsewhere. Her nasty attitude towards you could be her projecting her guilt and an attempt to have you end the relationship so she doesn't have to.
I hate to say it but if you aren't having sex I think your suspicions are right. She is most likely getting it elsewhere. Her nasty attitude towards you could be her projecting her guilt and an attempt to have you end the relationship so she doesn't have to.
damn, that's really spot on. Really fits how I feel and what I think.
Was on an SSRI for a couple years, stopped taking the SSRI about 6 months after starting therapy so she's been off the SSRI for atleast 6-8 months as far as I know. I feel like such a fool! It's okay though, it's good to diagnose this type of thing and break up if appropriate rather then let them use me and my positive energy to rely on for life
I like Doomsters idea, but I doubt she will feel comfortable revealing all of her traumas that started hitting home a year ago. Even if she shared them with you already, I'm pretty sure she held back the one(s) that affect her/would affect youthe most(abuse,sexual assault, marriages not lasting and a fear of a failing one).
Part of me wants you to stay with her in hopes she will give full disclosure of do a couples therapy so you can get that disclosure then you can make a decision based on all info.
B ut if you put it All on the table, and she is meh or worse, her issues may be long term and worse than you may imagine, it's better to avoid a mistake, than make one.
You're in a tough spot: love and loyalty and a likely challenging future vs. some period of selfquestioning, hurt,pain.
I hope you both get through it well.
If you do stay, and claim you love her, show her some fucking compassion - for her suffering.
But go. Your not in love.
Spend some time alone and your blind hookers
But blind hookers are a thing.
Probably.
If you do stay, and claim you love her, show her some fucking compassion - for her suffering.
But go. Your not in love.
Spend some time alone and your blind hookers
This is my favorite post on this thread so far.
Not only is he going through a tough time trying to hold this together HE is an asshole for even having a discussion about what to do?
IdiotSavant - you have a serious case of White Knight syndrome on this one.
I don't.
None.
Never really thought about it.
It happened to me. Was with a girl I thought was the one. She wound up leaving her job and moving states to be with me. Didn't work out.
We both wound up finding other people, and years later have our own families. So it worked out.
I've also seen other couples break up, and overtime find each other again and are now married with families.
It sounds like she's got some funked up wiring, and to her credit is trying to figure it out. Until she figures it out, she won't have much to offer you. It's as simple as that. And there's no time table on it. If you decide to stick with it, it could be days, weeks, months, years....
Quote:
Regardless of: do you stay or do you go, you clearly need to grow the fuck up.
If you do stay, and claim you love her, show her some fucking compassion - for her suffering.
But go. Your not in love.
Spend some time alone and your blind hookers
This is my favorite post on this thread so far.
Not only is he going through a tough time trying to hold this together HE is an asshole for even having a discussion about what to do?
IdiotSavant - you have a serious case of White Knight syndrome on this one.
He could be a professional Quora writer
or anyone
Talk to her. Today
1) tell her you don't want her to have anything short of the best
2) ask her to make the choice/path/plan she believes will bring her the best available life for her. Give her three days and agree to check in with each other
3) Move on unless she convinces you by actions ( not words) that it will work
4) Always remember:
A) Listen to and trust what children actually say
B) Trust what adults actually do
It's a rabbit hole.
I mean if it ends up not working out go out and meet other women.
Wait. What happened to B?
Get rid of her... She is replaceable.
Grammar Police Out