To all the fellow parents out there - I need some help.
My daughter just turned 10 recently and has enjoyed playing rec league soccer until this season. She aged out of her normal rec league and tried out (and made) the local travel team. She knows a lot of kids on the team, including her best friend, and was super excited.
There are a few challenges that we are dealing with now. The first and main one is that the talent gap between rec and travel is pretty big. Although athletic in a lot of ways, she is not a natural soccer player. We're seeing a huge difference in the basic skills needed to succeed. We're going to start putting extra work in on the basic skills to just continue to improve - this I can handle.
The second and maybe actually more challenging issue is that she is completely lost out there. Despite a few years of playing rec and a bunch of camps and stuff in between, she still lacks the full understanding of field positioning and responsibilities.
It doesn't help that the coaching style is a little harsh (not bad enough to warrant saying something, just not the type of style that fits her - she needs positive feedback). During the game yesterday, they put at mid on the same sideline as the coaches so they could communicate with her but the communication was more along the lines of "Come on, you need to be here". "What are you doing". "Hurry up and hustle to the ball".
She seems broken. I'm heartbroken. My little girl is going through a big challenge right now - failing so obviously at something she enjoys. We've had a conversation for a few weeks now about the three choices moving forward: (i) quit, which is not an option really; (ii) finish this and the spring season and don't do it in fall 2025; or (iii) put in extra work and get up to everyone else's level. She is ADAMANT she wants to continue with the team and put in the extra work.
This is where I need help - I have found a bunch of youth soccer training videos and sites for skill work (I was not a soccer player so I have to do my homework) - BUT, I need some good resources that teach kids field and situational positioning so we can start doing some "film study" and working on it like any other subject.
I could obviously google and figure it out BUT I figured I would ping the BBI collective as I'm sure I'm not the first one of us to go through something similar.
Thanks all
My son is 7 and very into soccer, and already his friends are doing travel, so we're considering it. Apples to oranges comparision, but my son got a lot better with competing and positioning this Summer after getting really into watching the Euro and Copa America tournaments (mostly just highlights but some games). Maybe watching a few high level games could help.
Also explain to her soccer is a fluid game and closest to the ball should be the one attacking.
If you are really unhappy check around for other teams. Usually there is a league with other teams and coaches. After this season they will have tryouts before next season, and you can visit with the teams and coaches during that period
Soccer board - ( New Window )
First of all it's a fantastic sport for kids and I'm glad she enjoys it so much. It's fanstaict that she's facing some adversity and doesn't want to just quit....so good for her.
Second the main thing you should realize is even though some of the kids have been playing a long time they are still VERY young. If she keeps it up she can have another 8 or so years of youth playing and lots of adults still play as well. So keep in mind she has plenty of time to catch up. The girlls who are starts at 10 are not always the ones who are stars in HS and vice versa.
This the negativity from the coaches is absolutely BS. Telling her where to go on the field is great. Comments like "what are you doing" are complete garbage and offer zero input to the player and only make her feel worse about herself and embarrass her in fromt of her teammates.
I'm sorry to say this but in my optinion most youth sports coaches are in it for the wrong reason. They want to win for their own ego and gratification instead of teaching the kids how to get better at a sport. The good news is there are a lot of youth clubs out there (at least where I am in Northern NJ) and I"m sure you can find another club if things don't improve where she is now.
I'm sure some 1 v 1 training would help but honestly I would not want my kid playing in that environment if I had an alternative.
Best of luck with it and make sure she sticks with the game no matter what.
My suggestion is work with her on your own and build her confidence. My daughter is not type A so she needs her confidence built up which means find the things she’s good that and make it her foundation, and slow add harder things. My daughter switched from midfield to defense and she’s gotten a lot better. You should also get feedback from her coaches and apply that accordingly. You are paying a good amount for her to be on that team, the least they can do is communicate with you on where your kid is at.
In terms of advice I'd say to just try to keep it simple. Use the penalty areas as guides - don't venture too much into either one and don't venture wider than either one too much. Focus more on the defensive responsibilities first. When the ball comes her way, take a good first touch and play it the way she's facing.
It takes time. If she made the team it's because she's good enough to be there.
This the negativity from the coaches is absolutely BS. Telling her where to go on the field is great. Comments like "what are you doing" are complete garbage and offer zero input to the player and only make her feel worse about herself and embarrass her in fromt of her teammates.
Yeah, I only coach rec, but if I have a player who is clueless it's very easy to simply take them aside for a few minutes in practice or on the bench in games to give them a few pointers. If I ever get mad during a game it's always directed at the team-wide effort or a position group, never an individual.
I may understand ragging on players once they hit the teenage years on a higher level of competition, but that's a lot for 10-year-olds.
I don't like soccer.
I don't like soccer.
It's one thing to be an asshole, it's another to proudly announce it to the world.
I have parents who think I'm waaaay to easy on my kids and then occasionally will get an email from another that I'm being too hard.
As a u12 travel girls coach myself, I look for kids that hustle and one's who pay attention and don't goof around while we are teaching during practice. I will always be less patient with those kids but it comes out of their playing time.
I'd see if the Coach is willing to meet up early for practice where the 3 of you can work on helping your daughter in a smaller group which provides a better learning environment.
Those are worthless too, but this is worse. You can not like soccer and still sympathize with a father asking for advice about a sport their child is learning how to navigate.
It has a lot of good drills and som animations.
Best thing for kids that age is stamina with the ball, Dribbling skills and learning to put power behind the ball.
Good luck!