Every morning on the field you could see him arrive,
He stood six-foot-six, weighed two-seven-five.
Was a UDFA from Ohio State,
But everyone knew the Giants had no faith in Big Jake.
He got signed by the Giants, April two-thousand-ten.
Pulled a hammy in August, got waived/injured then.
Found a home on the practice squad, September that year,
Not a great start to the pro career of Big Jake.
Now it's twenty-eleven, Jake is still with the team,
But making the roster seems an impossible dream.
The Boss was ahead of him, the Bear next in line.
There was still Travis Beckum (though I still don't know why).
When from out of the west, came a crafty old man.
A blustering pirate, with cash in his hand.
In need of a tight end, he targeted Boss,
Caught Jerry Reese napping - Raider gain, Giant loss.
So in comes Ben Patrick, shedding Cardinal red.
But who knew that he wasn't right in the head?
Trade for Carlson, some shouted, throw in Osi to do it!
But, thankfully, Reese knew enough to eschew it.
Start the preseason, the Bear looks real shaky.
His blocking inline would leave Eli real achy.
And Beckum's no better, I'm telling you, mister.
He may have good hands, but he can't block my sister.
Off the bench comes Jake Ballard, unathletic and slow,
Or so all of the scouts said...didn't you know?
He's a scrub, he's a body, at worst he's camp fodder.
At best he'll be nothing but a low practice squadder.
But he gets in the Jet game and catches a pass,
And Eric says, "Who knew that Jake was so fast?"
He plays in New England - you know Springboro's beaming.
And KWALL starts a thread where he's practically creaming.
Now the Giants could still another tight end,
If a good vet shakes loose, they'll have money to spend.
But Game One is a week away, down in DC,
Are there others who have some faith - not just me - in Big Jake?
oh wait, thats Sexy.. Sorry
-Eli
"We loss some football brain power."
It would be icing on the cake, if he could live up to it.
Link - ( New Window )
Especially liked "do it" "eschew it."
Damn, damn good.
Link - ( New Window )
Heard that classic replayed
when we were up in the Green
Mountains...that tremulous,
throaty, deep....Big, bad...Jake.
Wasn't pleased when I heard,
Step it up,
Or I'll just have to flip you the bird.
On the strong side of the Defense ,
There’s an empty Giant hole,
If you run a post, you’ll find the end zone
Past a man named C C Brown.
Now C C means “Can’t Cover”
And he’s awful against the run,
All the Quarterbacks look for his number,
Then receivers burn forty –one,
And he's bad, bad C C Brown
Starting now , since K-P’s Out,
Burnt like Cheech and Chong,
Jerry Reese what have you done?
Now CC is a gambler
And he like his I-N-T’s
About to celebrate his clutch pick 6,
But his alarm wakes him from his sleep.
He overcommits on the play fakes,
Cover 2 – hes supposed to stay home,
When the corner releases, you won’t believe it,
But C C ‘s not in his zone.
And he's bad, bad C C Brown
Better off with Aaron Rouse,
Supposed to play next to M Johnson,
But never quite where he belongs
Well Sunday, a few days ago
CC missed some reads,
But Marques Colston , Shockey and Lance Moore,
All were read by Brees,
Well Drew kept his eyes on him pre-snap,
Cause he knew he’d always beat him,
CC Brown never learned his lesson
And the play fake to Robert Meachem….
Seven touchdowns later,
The Saints embarrassed CC Brown,
Fans were expecting, he’d learn his lesson,
And he’d be traded out of town.
October 20 came and left us,
With CC still in blue,
How much longer , before Kurt Warner,
Picks on CC too?!
And he's bad, bad CC Brown
Why not just play with a man down,
Never is where he belongs,
Gambles and he’s always wrong.