NFT: The Olympics suck and are boring (Long)

Look, are the athletes talented? Sure. Are some people interested in watching their talent? Clearly. But imagine if football was like many Olympic sports?

OBJ grabs a catch, makes a spin move, and runs for 60 yards to the end zone...and now we wait for the judges. Carl Banks: The judges are going to love the grace with which he gallops to the end zone here, but the technical score of the spin will be reviewed, he may lose a half-point for being a tad off-balance.

Sports are sports when competitors take the field (or pitch, court, ring, or rink), and prove they are better than you. And they do it by scoring more points or beating you up (in the case of MMA, boxing, and sometimes hockey). There are no judges to analyze IF you did it better. You either WERE better and you win, or you weren't, and you lose, because...scoreboard. And yes, you'd be fair in saying, "Hey man, that's not exactly true...MMA and boxing has judges, duuuude." And while you are technically correct (and don't call me dude), when it goes to the judges, then we just do a do-over. That's why Ali and Frazier fought three times...they just keep fighting each other until one definitively whips the other. 'Haha! NOW WE ALL FINALLY KNOW, I AM THE GREATEST!'

Figure skating...no doubt, the skaters are very talented and athletic. They are graceful, dare I say beautiful and sometimes mesmerizing. However, not really a sport. How is it different than ballet? Or ballroom dancing? Both require athleticism, balance, skill, choreography and sometimes sass. But two of the others are thought of (mostly), as an artistic hobby or entertaining night out. And you need a manual to decipher what the difference is between a triple lutz, salchow, toe loop, flip and axel.

Snowboarding half-pipe? Hey guys, watch me do this McDouble Fakie Corkscrew 720. What? No denying the talent, I certainly can't go up in the air and spin around like that and avoid certain death upon landing, er, splatting. But if you need a panel of judges to validate what you just did? Bah! Not sport, I say. When Giancarlo Stanton hits a 500 ft solo homerun, it's majestic...it's spectacular. When Jose Reyes barely clears the right field fence by the foul pole for a solo homerun, it's a good hit, and no doubt, people will look more in awe of Stanton's shot. But they are both worth 1 run on the scoreboard. As it should be. Stanton doesn't get extra points from the Russian judge.

I particularly find it funny how some sports throw out the high score and low score of the judges. You and you...your opinions don't count this time. Be more middle ground next time in your judging. Seems like not really a good enough reason to discard their judging. What makes their score less valid? Perhaps they are more right than the other judges, and what makes you so qualified to say they aren't?

And that's why judging sucks. Yes, even in boxing and MMA. Nobody likes it when it goes to the judges. We are all disappointed when it happens, and kind of waiting for the guy who we think won to get screwed over. So why would you have a whole sport whose only avenue of declaring victory or defeat is through judges? LAME.

Of course, not all Winter Olympics have judges. There is hockey! And...and...CURLING! YES, CURLING! And then there are the sports where you win by being the fastest. That's cool with me. I'm faster than you, and here, I'm going to prove it.

The only thing I don't get about the timed events is all the different ways to slide down a hill. You have skiing, snowboarding, bobsledding, luge, and skeleton, which sounds like a very unadvisable way to go down a mountain. At any rate, I don't have much issue with them...if you're the fastest luge guy (best lugie?), then you're the fastest. Get 'yer medal, your country is proud of you. But still, watching them all try to get to the bottom of a mountain in different ways, 2-tenths of a second faster than the other guy, isn't great to watch. It's not as bad as watching 3 hours of NASCAR, but in both cases, we just want to see you crash.

But you won the ice dancing competition? Well, that's just like, their opinion, man.

In conclusion, there is a reason they only do this once every 4 years...and not during football season. It's almost like..."Hey guys (in East German accent)...I see your super big champion game is over now, and since you are super bored, perhaps we can interest you in some cold-weather gymnastics on slippery surfaces?" No, no you cannot.

Let's talk about the draft instead...Josh Rosen sucks and is going to be a bust. Just for you, Milton ;) /rant