There has been threads on these before and I thought I would add one that made my skin crawl after a conference call led by a project manager who is leading.
Does anyone have anything they would like to bubble to the surface.
That was brutal.
I start my 10 day vacation tonight so perhaps I'm just being cynical.
"How are you"
Drives me insane.
Buzz words made my skin crawl too.
Let's socialize that idea.
Ping me.
Education has plenty too :)
*meaning
Low Hanging fruit
Mission critical
I could go for an hour. Drives me crazy.
I had a manager once who turned the word matrix into a verb.
He said we had to matrix things down. I looked at my friend. He looked at me and we were not like WTF does that mean
Let’s circle back.
And please, don't forget the new cover sheet on the TPM reports.
Oh. You were flying blind for 30 years? Glad you finally got some damn direction.
didn't know it was around that long, but I only heard it with in the last 8 to 10 years and it still sucks.
Some of those posted ones just sound like bad English.
Oh. You were flying blind for 30 years? Glad you finally got some damn direction.
LMAO
I remember when it was called "research."
Haha, perfect. I love the "hard stop". I sometimes feel compelled to lie about having a hard stop at 3 or whenever, bc everyone else has a hard stop and they might wonder why I don't
And while we're on "the workplace," anyone else work with someone who refuses to shit at work? How exactly is that done? I have to shit, I have to shit. That's that.
+1
Every conference call ever
"Come on people it's not like we're trying to turn around the Queen Mary here"
"this isn't a boil the ocean project"
"you can't put 9 women in a room and get a baby in a month"
right now our biggest overused/wrongly used phrase is Design Thinking. It's a good tool, but it's gets thrown in to or suggested for conversations and topics when it has no application.
"Come on people it's not like we're trying to turn around the Queen Mary here"
"this isn't a boil the ocean project"
"you can't put 9 women in a room and get a baby in a month"
right now our biggest overused/wrongly used phrase is Design Thinking. It's a good tool, but it's gets thrown in to or suggested for conversations and topics when it has no application.
classic. I've noticed multiple execs feel compelled to preface things by saying "this is an art and a science", as if that helps us understand it better.
Beautiful.
also makes me think of how unbearable life must have been when people actually took this same faux pride in their every day vocab. yikes.
yes wfh is just entirely too difficult to spell out.
let's not boil the ocean
"How are you"
Drives me insane.
It's funny, "how are you?" is used as a salutation with no response required.
I make sure when some says "how are you?" I respond with an actual answer!
Quote:
"Good morning"
"How are you"
Drives me insane.
It's funny, "how are you?" is used as a salutation with no response required.
I make sure when some says "how are you?" I respond with an actual answer!
I confess, a growing pet peeve of mine is the obnoxiously canned "living the dream!" reply some give when asked how they are
Does their contract include evergreen language? (Another metaphor from nature.)
I always aim to speak actual, you know, English, especially to people who aren't immersed in what I do every day.
We need to be more buttoned-up so we can seamlessly crosswalk into that space with our partners.
Quote:
in a few months.
Does their contract include evergreen language? (Another metaphor from nature.)
You probably know this but evergreen is not really corporate jargon, it's legalese and it means a clause in a contract that describes the term or how a contract renews (or terminates).
if your contract has evergreen language in it then it very possibly renews automatically unless the termination language from the evergreen clause is executed.
it did come from nature, but it's use isn't as awful as some of these phrases, it means the contract stays alive aka remains "ever green"
We use evergreen clauses all the time. or we try to if our customers procurement/legal allows then it prevents us from having to negotiate a new services agreement every year (or other period).
we need to get a consensus
(aside, did you see Jill today she's wearing the red dress)
Sorry, i'd have been here earlier to opine but I've been Off The Grid today and this subject hadn't previously been On My Radar. While I think generally We're On the Same Page here, I'm still trying to Connect the Dots in some areas however, and what I'm not seeing unfortunately is enough Thinking Outside the Box.
Rather than Reinvent the Wheel, what I'd like to do if its ok with you, is to get the Ball Rolling Here by Leveraging some of the thoughts you all have put together above and Revert or Circle Back to you later with some initial low hanging fruit ideas.... from there we can organize a touch point to Brainstorm and Idea Shower some thoughts, Benchmark them against some prior analysis, and come up with a Real Game-Changer.
How does this sound? I think its a Win-Win for the group -- while I'd love to take credit, the're no "i" in Team (though there is a Me - HA!). Ok, I'm off to the Drawing Board.
"We need to social media advocate it".
It's almost like it is on somebody's whiteboard
"We need to social media advocate it".
It's almost like it is on somebody's whiteboard
You have my permission to punch them in the f-ckin face.
Please.
ha ha most are actually small data, unless you really are. not much in between.
So just fucking say it!
Instinctual is not trite, but it is a goddamn ugly word that I don't even like using in this post and should never be used again for anything by anybody.
..."We've assembled the A- team."
Haha love it. At my last company, we had a management guy who would often preface something he’d say in meetings by telling us all “Now, I’m a six sigma guy...”.
We all knew what six sigma is, but never figured out what that had to do with anything he was saying.
People couldn’t resist discreet snide side comments...as in, maybe he got his black belt and we’ll really get something done today!
But I don’t think most people demanding “corporate agility” know the origins of agile, I’m darn near certain most don’t understand the principles and practice of agile. What I think most C suite denizens think is “agile” is being able to successfully deliver programs, products, project or services in an unstructured and constantly changing environment. As if removing decision gates and swim lanes and “asking the customer what they want” is going to make everything magically work. It’s a great idea but there really isn’t any one single structure of organization and thought which delivers magical corporate results. Again, don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge proponent of agile concepts. But it’s skilled, caring and cared for professionals that make agile work; “agility” in itself is no panacea and good managers successful with agile tools would almost certainly be just as successful with waterfall tools or Six Sigma or Lean Sigma or TQM or ISO or PMBoK or ITIL or “process management” or “big data driven decisions” or “predictive analytics” or whatever corporate trend is currently en vogue.
Ok, we're configuring cloud-based software, not writing code or developing apps, but you want sprints and scrums or the phases of software development. LOL, sure. I'll propose it.
some of them are so rigid and ignorant they'll eliminate any proposal that doesn't take into consideration their indoctrination or adopted discipline.
Let's socialize that idea.
Ping me.
Socialize drives me crazy. Why not just say "discuss"? It's so unnecessary.
"How are you?" "Eh, not bad for a Monday"
"Happy Friday!!!"
HA!
My favorite was sizing a project. Not small-medium-large or or 1-10 or whatever normal people would come up with but Fibonacci numbers! LOL. Every now and then a newbie would throw out an 11 or 15 and the "scrum master" (not moderator) would either tell them that's not a good number or just adjust it to 13 to the newbie's befuddlement.
Ok, we're configuring cloud-based software, not writing code or developing apps, but you want sprints and scrums or the phases of software development. LOL, sure. I'll propose it.
some of them are so rigid and ignorant they'll eliminate any proposal that doesn't take into consideration their indoctrination or adopted discipline.
Exactly! No meetings, they’re so ineffective, but let’s have a daily stand up. Ok. And no progress reports allowed, but I do want to see a burndown chart. Mk.
Now that I think about it, I’m reminded how a few years ago everyone was organizing themselves into a “matrix environment”.