Hey all sorry for the troll like thread or whatever feel free to flame away..
TLDRs suck sooo basically
& gt;Together 5 years
& gt;Loved her and still love her very much
About 1 year ago she started therapy to deal with past trauma
& gt;Past year + she's been nasty at times, lacks energy, zero sexual appetite
& gt;I've expressed my needs etc etc about 5 months ago and a few times since then
& gt;No positive results from my exrpessions (yes I know very weak of me to express my feelings to a woman, I understand this was a massive mistake)
& gt;We do not live together. We live in the same town though.
Now I would have broken up sooner, but up until a year ago I was about to put a ring on her without any second thought. We have some amazing memories together but unfortunately I realized these are just memories and in the past 13-14 months I have just 2-3 good memories with her and they all took place on lavish vacations..
Now I'm a mess. Getting zero sex, and can't help but think she's gotta be getting it elsewhere despite zero evidence. Makes me wanna have sex with skinny blonde whores (my infedility goto in past relationships)to satisfy my needs but I don't because I'm a loyal guy who thought I had real love.
Either way cheating or not cheating and let's just assume not , I'm not happy.
Bbi , I break up with this girl right? Based off what I provided ?
Or do I keep fighting a bit longer and suck it up, real great love has a cost at times and I need to be patient and let her heal more in therapy and hope for the best, maybe give her two more months?
Try for a yes or no based off what's provided , bbi is a bad place for this, but I figured some of my haters could laugh at my pain and I'd like the wholesome masculine gritty BBi opinion over the softball men's health and huffington post relationship answers
Also blasting in the butt seems off the table
Flame away at my sad current self. I'm normally a super happy guy, just caught up in potential high grade Thottery robbing me and sapping me of a lot of positive energy lately
yes I have considered it, although I've been reluctant to express such an interest to be honest. I'm sure I could make that happen if it's worth salvaging.
I just don't want to end up being that foolish guy that ignored the obvious signs. I guess im checking to see how normal this is before I scorch earth with her.
One thing I will say I recently (1.5 months ago) tried in a very loving and positive way proposed we goto niagra falls for the next upcoming weekend , I offered to get a rental car and hotel room near the falls thinking it could rekindle atleast the sexual aspect of things and she balked at it saying it was expensive and she flat out didn't want to . That hurt my heart, and made me start to seriously doubt us
I already regret it. Lol.
Sorry fam I might have to pull the plug on this thread if I get a lot of Spike like answers (they are certainly welcome tho, I advocate brutal honesty like Spikes. Maybe he's right and we do need another guy , but that's where I draw the line and exit the relationship if that's the case but sometimes the things that scare you most you just don't want to hear.
A google search with my dirty cookies for (gf won't have sex) turns up some naughty naughty video material . Dirty for the soul
Sadly I concur.
I guess bbi was my last hope of something talking me
Out of it . Desperate but I know this place wouldn't let me down for cold hard truth
Stan, your dead on.
She rose up in that moment and helped carry me thru it emotionally.
I feel like I've held onto that to tightly and firmly and is the hardest part about her to let go ...
The wrong Love sucks guys. Bless all you happily married or commited men and women.
Interesting advice Milton!
Very different and bold, I actually really appreciate this tid bit. Will definitely at the very least impact how I end it (won't scorch earth)
I think that theory isn't fool proof, but I like how it fits my situation pretty well. Thank you for that creative perspective
I hate to say it but if you aren't having sex I think your suspicions are right. She is most likely getting it elsewhere. Her nasty attitude towards you could be her projecting her guilt and an attempt to have you end the relationship so she doesn't have to.
I hate to say it but if you aren't having sex I think your suspicions are right. She is most likely getting it elsewhere. Her nasty attitude towards you could be her projecting her guilt and an attempt to have you end the relationship so she doesn't have to.
damn, that's really spot on. Really fits how I feel and what I think.
Was on an SSRI for a couple years, stopped taking the SSRI about 6 months after starting therapy so she's been off the SSRI for atleast 6-8 months as far as I know. I feel like such a fool! It's okay though, it's good to diagnose this type of thing and break up if appropriate rather then let them use me and my positive energy to rely on for life
I like Doomsters idea, but I doubt she will feel comfortable revealing all of her traumas that started hitting home a year ago. Even if she shared them with you already, I'm pretty sure she held back the one(s) that affect her/would affect youthe most(abuse,sexual assault, marriages not lasting and a fear of a failing one).
Part of me wants you to stay with her in hopes she will give full disclosure of do a couples therapy so you can get that disclosure then you can make a decision based on all info.
B ut if you put it All on the table, and she is meh or worse, her issues may be long term and worse than you may imagine, it's better to avoid a mistake, than make one.
You're in a tough spot: love and loyalty and a likely challenging future vs. some period of selfquestioning, hurt,pain.
I hope you both get through it well.
If you do stay, and claim you love her, show her some fucking compassion - for her suffering.
But go. Your not in love.
Spend some time alone and your blind hookers
But blind hookers are a thing.
Probably.
If you do stay, and claim you love her, show her some fucking compassion - for her suffering.
But go. Your not in love.
Spend some time alone and your blind hookers
This is my favorite post on this thread so far.
Not only is he going through a tough time trying to hold this together HE is an asshole for even having a discussion about what to do?
IdiotSavant - you have a serious case of White Knight syndrome on this one.
I don't.
None.
Never really thought about it.
It happened to me. Was with a girl I thought was the one. She wound up leaving her job and moving states to be with me. Didn't work out.
We both wound up finding other people, and years later have our own families. So it worked out.
I've also seen other couples break up, and overtime find each other again and are now married with families.
It sounds like she's got some funked up wiring, and to her credit is trying to figure it out. Until she figures it out, she won't have much to offer you. It's as simple as that. And there's no time table on it. If you decide to stick with it, it could be days, weeks, months, years....
Quote:
Regardless of: do you stay or do you go, you clearly need to grow the fuck up.
If you do stay, and claim you love her, show her some fucking compassion - for her suffering.
But go. Your not in love.
Spend some time alone and your blind hookers
This is my favorite post on this thread so far.
Not only is he going through a tough time trying to hold this together HE is an asshole for even having a discussion about what to do?
IdiotSavant - you have a serious case of White Knight syndrome on this one.
He could be a professional Quora writer
or anyone
Talk to her. Today
1) tell her you don't want her to have anything short of the best
2) ask her to make the choice/path/plan she believes will bring her the best available life for her. Give her three days and agree to check in with each other
3) Move on unless she convinces you by actions ( not words) that it will work
4) Always remember:
A) Listen to and trust what children actually say
B) Trust what adults actually do
It's a rabbit hole.
I mean if it ends up not working out go out and meet other women.
Wait. What happened to B?
Get rid of her... She is replaceable.
Grammar Police Out
She's NOT the love of your life, you will have several most likely. Find the one who makes you smile, the one who lets you be you and the one who loves being with you because she can't get enough of you. She doesn't want intimacy, it's not because of you it's because she was most likely abused as a child. She's not coming around to be in a normal relationship so either accept that your life will suck or find a woman worth your time. Life is short, live yours and find your true mate, your other half. She is out there, just be patient.
Relationships only get tougher, or more precisely, the amount of outside stuff that add stresses only increase with time. If you’re here now, GTFO.
Your at a peak for sex right now, take that as gospel. So if you’re not getting enough now then, GTFO
All the guilt and remorse you are feeling will melt away the moment you are consistently spraying seed in someone else. GTFO.
Block the cell, take a road trip, swipe left, swipe right.
None of us have any window into your relationship. Do you have any friends who are women? Talk to them about it. The guys here on BBI are giving you terrible advice.
Marriage is hard. It can be worth it, with the right one, but a nightmare with the wrong one. If you have kids, it gets even harder.
Breaking up is hard to do, but better now than after more years of misery.
I saw major red flags before my first marriage, but she was very pretty, smart (academic-wise) and we had some good times so I went through with it. Big mistake. Fortunately, we didn't have kids.
I've now been with my 2nd and final wife (also very pretty, smart (academic and all around, etc.) for 18 years and have 2 kids. There were no red flags before we tied the knot. Much better.
there's no such thing as a love of your life. while it may seem like that in the moment, there are lots of fish in the sea.
No need to worry about the quality of advice - it's not a real situation. Denny likes to create scenarios for attention and discussion.
Come on BBI.
Move on ... and no that does not mean start more shitty threads here to distract yourself, spare us.
She rose up in that moment and helped carry me thru it emotionally.
I feel like I've held onto that to tightly and firmly and is the hardest part about her to let go ...
The wrong Love sucks guys. Bless all you happily married or commited men and women.
Just got around to reading this thread, so I apologize if this is irrelevant at this point but...maybe her helping you through that time of your life was exactly the reason she was in your life. I believe everybody is in your life for a reason. I just went through a hard breakup myself, so I'll sound like a hypocrite if I try to give you advice but that is just some food for thought.
I've learned (the hard way) to listen to my internal feelings regarding someone I care about who is showing signs that they want out.
If she has not expressed any desire for sex with you for a year I think that speaks volumes.
Hope you heal quickly if it turns out to be the end.
Life is long and marriage lasts for fucking ever, so my advice is simple. If you are having these problems before you live together, let alone before you are married and have kids, that is your signal to head for the fucking hills.
Because life only gets harder from here. Bail out. Now.
You will find other loves. She might too, but that's not the point. You gotta look out for yourself first at this stage, because once you are married with kids, you have to look out for THEM first.
Once you have broken up, cut off all contact -- ALL CONTACT -- for at least six months, if not longer. You gotta give it time for your lives to move on and to break the scripts. If you want to try to be friends after that, fine. But you have to break all contact for a while first.
Good luck.
Looks like a 2 day excursion, the fish are really biting, can’t turn back now.
Vent son, vent!
I'm still wondering about the blind hookers.
Also. Hint was : grammer people, grammer!
Quote:
and caught a whole bunch of whales
Looks like a 2 day excursion, the fish are really biting, can’t turn back now.
Clap...clap. Well done UConn
I dated a LOT of women from my teens to about 30, Once upon a time, Beez had game. lol It was the unintentionally best thing I ever did for myself, waiting to get married as long as I did (I was 32, she was 30, first marriage for both, no kids for either).
While I dated some really good and fun people and had a handful of longer-term relationships (a couple 2-year stints, one for 3.5 years), and under slightly different circumstances could have ended up with a couple of them, I dated many more dysfunctional or flat-out fucked up people who I did, indeed, try to help/fix. Never works!
Thank God things worked out and I met Mrs. Beez. She's female so she's by definition nuts lol ... but she's easily the least crazy woman I have ever been with. Great looking, fun most of the time lol, smart, a great mom. And other than her constant clutter and teacher paperwork piles, I've never felt compelled to fix a thing about her.
I'm fortunate in that I have the benefit of perspective.
If you're still on the 20s side of 30, you're fine. Even 30-plus, lots of people out there you won't need to fix too terribly much.
It's true everyone has baggage, no matter how old they are. But it's also true, some come with a single carry-on while many pay extra for super-sized luggage.
End this relationship and move to the next chapter. Thank BBI and it's collective experience later. In the meantime, read a bit about co-dependency and see if you see yourself anywhere in what you read. Might be helpful.
2. Lemme know when she is officially single. I'm gonna move on her like a bitch.
3. None of this is real.
lol It's moments like this, on a 2-page thread where folks are talking about their experiences and giving advice, when my true fans show themselves.
Find someone who you trust, who is mature and a solid (married?) relationship guy. Ask them to read it. When done, after edits, consider giving it to her. Do not be angry, mean or dishonest. Try and put yourself in a loving and compassionate place.
If you do not want to ask her about going into counseling (which is really necessary if you want to save the relationship, most likely) you may want to see someone yourself. This will help you figure out what you really want and what you are willing to do. This will help you better articulate and communicate, even if your GF doesn't change a bit.
Good luck !
What The Shit?
You wont win this battle. Get her to a better place and realize you dont want her raising your kids.
It doesn't have to be. The fake poster might very well have a change of heart about his fake girlfriend.
but the care factor here certainly is... real
2. go big, go direct and don't look back. If it is meant to survive it will bloom and if not, you'll know with greater certainty and clarity.
Good luck.
but the care factor here certainly is... real
Two things you seem to care about: my career and defending trolls on BBI.
She said that my controlling ways make her fall out of love with her
All bullshit Thottery or crazyness that I couldn't handle and win
We broke up in a text and she said she's gonna block my number
To be 100% I don't think she was cheating... but she was verbally abusive and I wasn't happy.
Hears to hoping she doesn't try to ruin my life somehow now.
I was classy as I could have been.
Thanks everyone, I will reply to many of you individually tomorrow .
This thread helped my balls shake off the soy and tell her I'm mad and won't stand for this degenerate shit.
I feel so sad I could die, but also my chest doesn't feel empty, it feels like a weight came off it.(literally) (no really literally I've had chest pains)
Crazy stuff guys.
These hoes ain't loyal. I feel like a cuck, but it happens .
Time to work on my mind, body, and soul the next week then back to working on my checking account and getting new pussy eventually ...
Fellas, I regret ending this (it was actually mutual kinda) but I think I seriously did the right thing instead of "trying harder"
Those who said I gave up to much power were right and when you give up power you start to use more control when your a dude who gets anxious.
Fuck my life right now...
I'm sure in a couple weeks I'll look back and be like this was good.
Hopefully I heal fast and remain strong. This really feels like cap
Our anniversary would have been this weekend too
Maybe I fucked up. Maybe I should have been patient
Maybe I should apologize .
Goodness this self questioning is beginning already
Yes, I am defending the guy because oh gee I dont know, this thread has almost 100 posts and everyone calls him stupid. Don't act as if you dont have some sort of concealed interest in his "moronic" posts.
And make me burn the candle right down,
But baby, I don't need no jewels in my crown.
'Cause all you wimmins is low down gamblers,
Cheatin' like I don't know how,
But baby, there's fever in the funk house now.
This low down bitchin' got my poor feet a itchin',
Don't you know you know the duece is still wild.
Always in a hurry, I never stop to worry,
Don't you see the time flashin' by.
Honey, got no money,
I'm all sixes and sevens and nines.
Say now baby, I'm the rank outsider,
You can be my partner in crime.
Oh, my, my, my, I'm the lone crap shooter,
Playin' the field ev'ry night.
But baby, I can't stay,
You got to roll me and call me the tumblin' dice
Well done, Sir.
And Denny. Superb as well.