NFT: Friend w/ Lung Cancer

and top doctors in the field

Same background - young, fit, never smoked, etc. He just kept ignoring a chronic cough. He was always at the gym and just ignored going to a doctor. Eventually after months of a lingering cough, he went to the doctor. He was stage 4 given months to live. He has now been fighting for 2 years since the prognosis. He exhausted the typical treatment and the cancer had spread. It was in his brain and spine. He has been undergoing an experimental trial of treatment that has had positive results. No more cancer in the brain and no new growth in the lungs spine. While he has been given an additional time to spend with his family, the reality is that he likely won't beat it. It is a matter of prolonging the inevitable. Fuck Cancer.

He passed 2 Sundays ago. He had a mass on his lung that was on the outside of his heart that spread to his liver. His liver completely shut down and he pass after 7 days in the hospital. I love my dad but what a stubborn person. He knew he was sick for a long time and refused to get checked out. My brother brought him to the emergency room on a Monday where they ran tests and basically said he had cancer. I went back on Tuesday to go see him and he completely changed. He was having trouble physically. Mentally he knew what was going on but had a hard time expressing himself. A few days later he passed. There was no time to even try any treatment. He waited so long and was in a ton of pain. He couldn't really breathe, his ankles were swollen from congestive heart failure, amd he was yellow before my brother finally got him to go to the hospital. He smoked his whole like and most recently those e-cigarettes. Fuck those things. He tried rationalizing how it was better than cigarettes. I always told him he was full of shit and less chemicals doesn't mean safer. I feel like in about 20 years we will look back on these e-cigarettes and have evidence to support how fucking bad they are for your health. I urge anybody amd everybody to stop at any cost.

As far as the treatment being asked I am sorry that I cannot help. My coworker amd friend just died as well from lung cancer. She tried chemo but it didn't help.

that's awful.

Not much to say but F*** cancer.

DC all I would say is support him. Find the best DR you can (and a 2nd opinion is always a good idea). They are coming up with better treatments every day. It will really matter what the chemistry of the cancer is and how it responds to each person. A positive attitude, even though it can be very overwhelming, is a step in the right direction.

I would recommend not reading all over the internet for stories of people who beat it or not. Find a good DR and listen to them. It's very scary at first but once you have a plan in place you'll feel better. Best of luck, tell him to kick it's ass.

I was 16. She was 50. Only advice I can give is to just be yourself and make your friend laugh. He’s going to need some normalcy.

Cancer is the worst. To say I’m haunted by it’s existence would be an understatement.

And my thoughts and well wishes go out to you and your friend.

Being a very fortunate and blessed parent of a cancer surviver, the best advice I can give on what you can do or offer is 1st, treat them the same as you always did.

They know what they're dealing with and the last thing they want is to be reminded of it or treated differently by having people walking on egg shells around them. If you always busted his chops, continue that. If you just sat around and watched a game every Friday night, continue to do that.

Secondly, ask if there is anything they need or want. If there is, he'll tell you, if not stay the course.

Just let him know you're there and can be counted on. There might come a time you can offer to drive him so he can relax and save his strength from his treatments, or "I'm going to the store, you need anything"? That type of thing.

Another thing to try and stay clear of is bugging him to eat, or hey you gotta keep your strength up. Let him find his way and what works for him. If he does have a good appetite, join him in a good meal. If he doesn't really want to eat much maybe find something light he does like, eg, a donut,ice creme, whatever. Just find a subtle way of keeping his spirit and strength up.

A positive attitude when battling this fucking disease is HUGE, and its importance can't be overstated.

Best of luck to your friend, and hang tough with and for him.

It's a terrible disease.

BTW when I said don't read all over the internet I meant it as a new patient. Lot's of scary stories out there that is not necessarily what will happen to you, stay positive and listen to your DR was my main point. Not trying to take away from anyone's personal cancer stories.

Prayers for your friend. That is awful. Same to you for your father and friend robbieballs2003. RIP. God bless.

is fighting it. They said he had with lung infections first also. Had treatment in Boston of radiation and chemo. Is doing better and one large tumor is broken up.
Whats helped him is offering to drive, offering to do grocery store trips. Offering to help with the day to day stuff so he can focus on treatment.

BBI is a great community

Can’t be said enough...Fuck cancer.

at like 35 years old. She ran marathons, never smoked.

And even more excruciating, when she reached the end (she had been fairly fine and responded well to treatment), she went in with shortness of breath and they told her her lungs were filling with fluid and there was nothing more they could do, and that she would pass away within 24 hours or so and to gather the family, which she did.

Just an awful disease.

Sorry, didn’t read all the responses after and maybe you said. The stage of the cancer is key to know what you’re dealing with.

Concrete things to offer

Anyone who has gone through this can tell you the number of we’ll meaning people who offer to help ... someway ... anyway is large , but no one knows what to offer or how .
We found the best things to offer are:
1. Concrete gifts. That is time , in specific ways , that will help them . Imagine being in their shoes , with young kids , and him unable to do normal chores . Offer to mow lawn weekly , sit for their kids this Tuesday. When he’s at chemo , transport their kids to soccer so mom can attend to other stuff , take the garbage down , so shopping, or laundry . Essentially simple tasks that still gotta get done everyday anyway .
2. Be specific “ can I mow your lawn once a week for next 2 months ?”
3. Be practical . Makes no dinner for them every Tuesday , for example
4. Listen to what they need nor what you think they do
5. Don’t bevaftaid to offer prayers and tell them so . I’ve never had a patient reject good wishes and in that foxhole you need all the help you can fejyst a few ideas but you get the jist . i hope it helps . Good luck

Not much good at texting still , I’m afraid . Sorry

In comment 13997671 robbieballs2003 said:

Quote:

He passed 2 Sundays ago. He had a mass on his lung that was on the outside of his heart that spread to his liver. His liver completely shut down and he pass after 7 days in the hospital. I love my dad but what a stubborn person. He knew he was sick for a long time and refused to get checked out. My brother brought him to the emergency room on a Monday where they ran tests and basically said he had cancer. I went back on Tuesday to go see him and he completely changed. He was having trouble physically. Mentally he knew what was going on but had a hard time expressing himself. A few days later he passed. There was no time to even try any treatment. He waited so long and was in a ton of pain. He couldn't really breathe, his ankles were swollen from congestive heart failure, amd he was yellow before my brother finally got him to go to the hospital. He smoked his whole like and most recently those e-cigarettes. Fuck those things. He tried rationalizing how it was better than cigarettes. I always told him he was full of shit and less chemicals doesn't mean safer. I feel like in about 20 years we will look back on these e-cigarettes and have evidence to support how fucking bad they are for your health. I urge anybody amd everybody to stop at any cost. As far as the treatment being asked I am sorry that I cannot help. My coworker amd friend just died as well from lung cancer. She tried chemo but it didn't help.

My condolences Robbie .... Cancer sucks and they still really do not know the real cause IMO. Look at the OP's friend - never smoked and ends up with lung cancer. How about children 6,7,8 years old? What could they possibly been doing or ingesting to end up with tumors? And, then you hear (not often) about 80 year old smokers who smoked all their lives .... how the hell is Keith Richards still alive? The cigarettes alone should have gotten him by now ... Fuck cancer.

Sorry about you Dad.

Hope it works out the best for him .... sometimes it does. They are certainly better at treating it than they were 30 - 40 years ago.

Anyway - stories like that always mystify me. A non smoker who ends up with lung cancer?

about 4 years ago and was fully cured through surgery. I learned a lot about lung cancer. She had the surgery at Sloan Kettering. We were told that lung cancer can very often be fully cured if caught very early (my wife's was caught very early). However, unfortunately, most people don't catch it until much later. We were lucky. Her case was an incidental finding. If she wasn't scanned for another issue, it wouldn't have been caught early.

DC...and god bless.

In comment 13997663 gtt350 said:

Quote:

and top doctors in the field

Concur.