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NFT: When another dude calls you 'boss'

Route 9 : 6/30/2018 7:19 pm
Was listening to a discussion on a podcast about when another dude (stranger) calls you 'boss' and how it is intended to be condescending or not and it got intense.

What do you have to say BBI?
I'm not 16  
Larry in Pencilvania : 6/30/2018 7:26 pm : link
don't call me dude


GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN
I first heard it 15 years ago in California  
Vanzetti : 6/30/2018 7:26 pm : link
Latino guys working at bodegas would call white and Asian male customers "boss." I took it as slightly sardonic but no big deal. I think it has spread and become more pervasive now but definitely goes way back
Anyone actually getting worked up about it  
UConn4523 : 6/30/2018 7:29 pm : link
is pretty pathetic. It’s obviously condescending, but I can’t imagine caring enough to let it effect me.
RE: Anyone actually getting worked up about it  
Route 9 : 6/30/2018 7:31 pm : link
In comment 14003207 UConn4523 said:
Quote:
is pretty pathetic. It’s obviously condescending, but I can’t imagine caring enough to let it effect me.


Who is getting worked up? Are you getting worked up about getting worked up?

Haha just kidding. I do think it is odd and condescending but I always laugh it off or say something funny. Usually it is by some punk kid though.
Guess  
ctc in ftmyers : 6/30/2018 7:39 pm : link
it depends on the part of the country your in or how it's used. I would much rather, hey boss can you give me a hand than hey dude, can you give me a hand.
Not condescending at all, but it is douchey  
Anakim : 6/30/2018 7:43 pm : link
Then again, I still call guys "bro" and "dude"
....  
Route 9 : 6/30/2018 7:49 pm : link
I didnt start hearing it until I'd say the 2000s here in NJ. Its been around, I know that but it's always said by guys in their late teens-early 20s nowadays.
I call my friends dude all the time  
j_rud : 6/30/2018 8:00 pm : link
Probably a latent effect of roughly 600 viewings of The Big Lebowski. Never used "boss" but never really thought it was condescending either.
RE: Not condescending at all, but it is douchey  
NYDCBlue : 6/30/2018 8:03 pm : link
In comment 14003233 Anakim said:
Quote:
Then again, I still call guys "bro" and "dude"


I don't agree. In my experience it is totally meant to be condescending. I guess the most flagrant user of the term was my Jamaican supervisor at Boston Market, when I was a 17 yo teen. Dude was a total ass. Loved to show off his black Maxima as proof he was a big shot over us employees. Always paraded his current honey around the store and then found something insignificant to yell at someone over to prove his authority in front of his girl....

Anyway, the only time he would use that phrase, "Hey boss," was when he wanted something crappy. Like coming to you 15 minutes before your shift is over and saying he needs you to a work double and close. Or when he wants someone to clean the bathroom (especially the ladies room.... shudder! 🤮

This post is making me hungry for some BM chicken salad....
I say it to people all the time  
dep026 : 6/30/2018 8:37 pm : link
But I am also a lot cooler than Route 9 as well.
What about chief?  
Elisha10 : 6/30/2018 8:42 pm : link
Some often use that in the same way.
I’ve been called worse.  
Giant John : 6/30/2018 8:50 pm : link
Don’t bother me.
I ain't your buddy  
Hazlet Giant's Fan : 6/30/2018 9:08 pm : link
we don't go drinking together, I ain't pal we don't to ball games together, I ain't chief I'm not wearing a firehat. No I'm not serious bout any of that just something I heard once.
Classic Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends & Influence People:  
Marty in Albany : 6/30/2018 9:17 pm : link
USE THE PERSON'S NAME if you know it. A person's name are the words that people most want to hear.

If he is a stranger, do what every player on the Giants calls the fan who is asking for his autograph: "Buddy."

You're welcome.
RE: I say it to people all the time  
Eman11 : 6/30/2018 10:14 pm : link
In comment 14003259 dep026 said:
Quote:
But I am also a lot cooler than Route 9 as well.


I say it a decent amount too and don't mean it to be condescending at all.

The other day a guy waited a little more than normal or expected and held open a door to a store for me. A quick thanks boss from me and a no problem response from him. I didn't see any problem with it because it was a boss move by him. He didn't have to hold the door as long as he did.
Depends on the context.  
ThatLimerickGuy : 6/30/2018 10:33 pm : link
The example above with the guy holding the door would be cool.

If someone is sarcastically trying to be a tough guy with it then they deserve a throat punch.

RE: RE: I say it to people all the time  
Del Shofner : 6/30/2018 11:18 pm : link
In comment 14003275 Eman11 said:
Quote:
In comment 14003259 dep026 said:


Quote:


But I am also a lot cooler than Route 9 as well.



I say it a decent amount too and don't mean it to be condescending at all.

The other day a guy waited a little more than normal or expected and held open a door to a store for me. A quick thanks boss from me and a no problem response from him. I didn't see any problem with it because it was a boss move by him. He didn't have to hold the door as long as he did.


I also use it when I don't know a guy's name and he does something that I appreciate. I know "buddy" is out there too but I prefer boss. It's got nothing to do with anything, it's just a placeholder when you don't know someone's name. Never seen anyone have a problem with it.
Context is everything.  
bradshaw44 : 6/30/2018 11:37 pm : link
It can be douche, insulting or just a satirical comment between friends. What context are we speaking of?
I've never heard 'boss' before  
Aqua Giants : 6/30/2018 11:51 pm : link
that WASN'T used in a condescending tone.

I personally do not care for it. I do not like buddy much either. Usually guys who lift a lot of weights, wear basketball jerseys (without a t shirt under it) and hang out at bars frequently use those terms.
just don't call me  
madgiantscow009 : 7/1/2018 2:09 am : link
late for supper.
Different view point and long so pass if not interested  
jjgmrg901 : 7/1/2018 6:47 am : link
About 17 years ago I was a director of a large IT staff. I purchased my 5 managers Christmas presents. Yes it was a while ago, not sure if I would today or what would they be called. Anyway I'm Jewish and my then 8 year daughter was helping me wrap the presents. She was getting a big kick of it because we don't celebrate Christmas (obviously for some maybe not so for others). Anyway she was filling out those little tags that you put on the packages and she asked me who should she say it was from. I said John but she went ahead and put down "The Boss". Not sure if she had a total understanding of that sobriquet.
Anyway( I told this was long) about 3 years later I was in the process of bringing disciplinary action for non performance against one of these managers. He turned around and charged me with a discrimination complaint. He was African American(unfortunately he had a massive heart attack just a few years ago at 62). He was demoted and moved to another area. The discrimination suit was dropped.
The basis of the suit was my using the term boss on the Christmas package tags three years before. He felt that the term boss was offensive coming from a white male to an Afro-American.
What thinks you?

Not trying to be controversial just wondering.
Someone thinks I'm Springsteen? That's okay by me! :)  
TheMick7 : 7/1/2018 7:47 am : link
.
Boss, dude, buddy, bro, pal,  
smshmth8690 : 7/1/2018 8:24 am : link
who gives a shit. I don't think anything condescending is meant by any of them, especially if the person doesn't know your name. I guess guy, or mate can be thrown in there as well, mate especially if they are from Australia. Guy I never understood though.
jjgmrg901  
GeorgeAdams33 : 7/1/2018 11:36 am : link
"Mister Boss Man, Sir" would be offensive. Anything less, he is just being the douche who cried wolf. Forget about it.
I like to use "Ok bossmon"  
solfish : 7/1/2018 12:30 pm : link
If a someone is trying to pull some obviously stupid alpha male bullshit or a supervisor is asking me to do something unpleasant. It works best if you use a Jamaican patois pronunciation.
that a fact Jack  
BCD : 7/1/2018 12:41 pm : link
...
Add 'Bud/Buddy' to the douche list too  
giantsFC : 7/1/2018 12:43 pm : link
The same people seem to use all these words depending on the trend. And usually they are all douches. But honestly, I never even realize it as more than a douche's way of greeting me etc. So who really cares? To me it helps determine what kind of person you are dealing with right off the bat.
RE: Add 'Bud/Buddy' to the douche list too  
Eman11 : 7/1/2018 12:57 pm : link
In comment 14003494 giantsFC said:
Quote:
The same people seem to use all these words depending on the trend. And usually they are all douches. But honestly, I never even realize it as more than a douche's way of greeting me etc. So who really cares? To me it helps determine what kind of person you are dealing with right off the bat.


Eh, Bud, Budfy is just another way of saying friend or mate to me. I dont see them as being douchey at all, just trying to be more of the welcoming or friendly type.
I reserve that term  
Rick5 : 7/1/2018 1:01 pm : link
for my wife, e.g., "Yes, boss."
Yep..  
FatMan in Charlotte : 7/1/2018 1:04 pm : link
Quote:
What about chief?
Elisha10 : 6/30/2018 8:42 pm : link : reply
Some often use that in the same way.


When somebody calls me boss I usually call them Ace right back. Or maybe Chief.
It's a wise guy move.  
GiantsUA : 7/1/2018 1:20 pm : link
One should treat everyone with respect.
RE: I first heard it 15 years ago in California  
njm : 7/1/2018 1:32 pm : link
In comment 14003204 Vanzetti said:
Quote:
Latino guys working at bodegas would call white and Asian male customers "boss." I took it as slightly sardonic but no big deal. I think it has spread and become more pervasive now but definitely goes way back



I first heard it in Manhattan delis from Latino guys working the sandwich counters about 25 years ago. Still get it ("Thanks boss") occasionally in the liquor store when I buy beer. As long as I get decent service I don't care.
Back in the late 80's  
mrvax : 7/1/2018 2:24 pm : link
I heard guys call other guys, "Bubba" pretty often. Much worse than "boss".
There was this tennis player I knew who  
Eli2020 : 7/1/2018 2:30 pm : link
was a champion at Emory in D3. He used Boss all day, every day. No one liked this kid. Lesson to be learned, don't say Boss. He sucks.
How about "Guy"?  
Eli Wilson : 7/1/2018 4:27 pm : link
I coached baseball with this dude for several years, and even in the last year he still referred to me (and everyone else) as "Guy".

He was a douchebag, so I never really let it bother me.
RE: Anyone actually getting worked up about it  
chopperhatch : 7/1/2018 5:14 pm : link
In comment 14003207 UConn4523 said:
Quote:
is pretty pathetic. It’s obviously condescending, but I can’t imagine caring enough to let it effect me.


Who says it's condescending? Its the same thing as when a waitress at a Diner calls me sweetie, honey, or dear.

Do you really think those people are saying shit like " did you see me just call him boss and he had no idea that I was popping shit?!"

What silly insight.
RE: How about  
chopperhatch : 7/1/2018 5:16 pm : link
In comment 14003677 Eli Wilson said:
Quote:
I coached baseball with this dude for several years, and even in the last year he still referred to me (and everyone else) as "Guy".

He was a douchebag, so I never really let it bother me.


Was probably from Boston and that is a regional colloquialism.

Jesus, some of you must be a blast to drink with.
I like the chief one. Most everyone  
ctc in ftmyers : 7/1/2018 7:07 pm : link
I know calls me chief. Retired as a Fire Chief.

Dude is the one, at my age, seems ridiculous. Fast times at Ridgemont High anyone?
RE: RE: Anyone actually getting worked up about it  
Route 9 : 7/1/2018 8:12 pm : link
In comment 14003714 chopperhatch said:
Quote:
In comment 14003207 UConn4523 said:


Quote:


is pretty pathetic. It’s obviously condescending, but I can’t imagine caring enough to let it effect me.



Who says it's condescending? Its the same thing as when a waitress at a Diner calls me sweetie, honey, or dear.

Do you really think those people are saying shit like " did you see me just call him boss and he had no idea that I was popping shit?!"

What silly insight.


Depends on how they say it. You bring up another one. 'Honey' from female to male has definitely been used in a condescending manner. Not in the same way or even situation that you mention it with a waitress involved, but I have heard many females talking to men using that...almost seems like they're making it too obvious and to go out of their way to talk purposely talk down to them - tone. "

"Oh honey, no." used during an argument or some sort of lecture or as if the woman has to publicly show she has pity for them. I've seen Amy Schumer use it before on roasts and as herself, and she couldn't be anymore obvious shes doing it.
RE: Different view point and long so pass if not interested  
Hammer : 7/2/2018 5:12 am : link
In comment 14003340 jjgmrg901 said:
Quote:
About 17 years ago I was a director of a large IT staff. I purchased my 5 managers Christmas presents. Yes it was a while ago, not sure if I would today or what would they be called. Anyway I'm Jewish and my then 8 year daughter was helping me wrap the presents. She was getting a big kick of it because we don't celebrate Christmas (obviously for some maybe not so for others). Anyway she was filling out those little tags that you put on the packages and she asked me who should she say it was from. I said John but she went ahead and put down "The Boss". Not sure if she had a total understanding of that sobriquet.
Anyway( I told this was long) about 3 years later I was in the process of bringing disciplinary action for non performance against one of these managers. He turned around and charged me with a discrimination complaint. He was African American(unfortunately he had a massive heart attack just a few years ago at 62). He was demoted and moved to another area. The discrimination suit was dropped.
The basis of the suit was my using the term boss on the Christmas package tags three years before. He felt that the term boss was offensive coming from a white male to an Afro-American.
What thinks you?

Not trying to be controversial just wondering.


The best his attorney could do was to claim that "boss" is an offensive racially charged term?

Wow. Can you say "summary judgement?"
Say what  
Gary from The East End : Admin : 7/2/2018 6:26 am : link
carribean culture  
Chuck Q : 7/2/2018 7:40 am : link
very normal in this culture - especially Jamaican. its not slang... just casual speak
I occass  
UESBLUE : 7/2/2018 9:25 am : link
call people helping me with something "boss". It beats "mack"
I don't recall where it came from  
JonC : 7/2/2018 9:37 am : link
but 15-20 years ago, it was boss, chief, jefe, ace etc and it was meant as a mild dig.
I usually just  
pjcas18 : 7/2/2018 9:42 am : link
call everyone governor.



??? I use that with superiors at work.  
x meadowlander : 7/2/2018 10:09 am : link
White collar job - I've always presumed it was a lighthearted term in that context. Have I been offending them?

RE: I've never heard 'boss' before  
fbdad : 7/2/2018 12:01 pm : link
In comment 14003301 Aqua Giants said:
Quote:
that WASN'T used in a condescending tone.

I personally do not care for it. I do not like buddy much either. Usually guys who lift a lot of weights, wear basketball jerseys (without a t shirt under it) and hang out at bars frequently use those terms.


I must be missing something because I'm having a hard time thinking of any time where calling someone boss (in a normal conversational tone) would be condescending. Isn't a boss someone you work for, someone further up the pecking order? How can my referring to you as being my superior make you feel like I'm talking down to you?
Really??  
FatMan in Charlotte : 7/2/2018 12:15 pm : link
Quote:
I must be missing something because I'm having a hard time thinking of any time where calling someone boss (in a normal conversational tone) would be condescending. Isn't a boss someone you work for, someone further up the pecking order? How can my referring to you as being my superior make you feel like I'm talking down to you?


I can think of a lot of instances.

- Guy walks into a Starbucks with sunglasses on his head and says to the barista "Hey Boss, I'll take a triple Venti Macchiato with extra foam. You can get that correct? Right, Boss?"

- You approach a nightclub with a flat-brimmed hat on cockeyed and ragged shorts. Bouncer looks at you, puts a hand up and says "Take a walk, Boss"

- Guy pulls up to a parking lot in a shitty Ford Focus, flips the keys to the valet and says "Boss, make sure it doesn't get scratched, Capece?"
RE: Really??  
njm : 7/2/2018 12:25 pm : link
In comment 14004496 FatMan in Charlotte said:
Quote:


Quote:


I must be missing something because I'm having a hard time thinking of any time where calling someone boss (in a normal conversational tone) would be condescending. Isn't a boss someone you work for, someone further up the pecking order? How can my referring to you as being my superior make you feel like I'm talking down to you?



I can think of a lot of instances.

- Guy walks into a Starbucks with sunglasses on his head and says to the barista "Hey Boss, I'll take a triple Venti Macchiato with extra foam. You can get that correct? Right, Boss?"

- You approach a nightclub with a flat-brimmed hat on cockeyed and ragged shorts. Bouncer looks at you, puts a hand up and says "Take a walk, Boss"

- Guy pulls up to a parking lot in a shitty Ford Focus, flips the keys to the valet and says "Boss, make sure it doesn't get scratched, Capece?"


-- Guy walks into a deli and say "Can I have a corned beef on rye with mustard?" and the clerk replies "You got it, boss."
RE: ??? I use that with superiors at work.  
solfish : 7/2/2018 12:44 pm : link
In comment 14004299 x meadowlander said:
Quote:
White collar job - I've always presumed it was a lighthearted term in that context. Have I been offending them?

Context:
Boss: I have a very bad idea.
Me: I don't think that's wise.
Boss: No, trust me it's genius.
Me: (shrugs) Ok boss.

Some people have a super annoying pseudononconfrontational management style where they like to pretend that we are all equals and friends united by a common passion for selling widgets or whatever and phrase commands like gentle suggestions. "Boss" reminds them that I do this shit for money, not because I particularly like them. The converse is bosses who are regional managers for Pizza Hut and think of themselves as a cross between Napoleon and Hova. They really appear to think they killed Osama bin laden by fudging the #'s and yelling at some 20somethings to reach the monthly pepperoni sales target. In that case you get "boss" with pretty heavy irony and eyerolling. Good bosses don't like being called boss because they are concerned with accomplishing the task at hand and want people to do what they say because what they say because what they say is probably the best why to accomplish the task at hand, not because they are 1 step up on the corporate hierarchy.

TLDR: very rarely is "boss" a compliment.
RE: I usually just  
Route 9 : 7/2/2018 3:56 pm : link
In comment 14004262 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
call everyone governor.




I go with hero if someone calls me boss

Confused as fuck
RE: I don't recall where it came from  
Route 9 : 7/2/2018 3:57 pm : link
In comment 14004257 JonC said:
Quote:
but 15-20 years ago, it was boss, chief, jefe, ace etc and it was meant as a mild dig.


Yeah. This.
RE: RE: I've never heard 'boss' before  
Aqua Giants : 7/2/2018 6:15 pm : link
In comment 14004468 fbdad said:
Quote:
In comment 14003301 Aqua Giants said:


Quote:


that WASN'T used in a condescending tone.

I personally do not care for it. I do not like buddy much either. Usually guys who lift a lot of weights, wear basketball jerseys (without a t shirt under it) and hang out at bars frequently use those terms.



I must be missing something because I'm having a hard time thinking of any time where calling someone boss (in a normal conversational tone) would be condescending. Isn't a boss someone you work for, someone further up the pecking order? How can my referring to you as being my superior make you feel like I'm talking down to you?


The original poster mentioned a complete stranger calling you a boss.

So no, it's not your literal boss. It's a kid callig you that or someone around your age is what I guess route 9 was getting to.
RE: RE: I usually just  
giantsFC : 7/3/2018 1:21 pm : link
In comment 14004784 Route 9 said:
Quote:
In comment 14004262 pjcas18 said:


Quote:


call everyone governor.

But w a cockney accent. Guvnah






I go with hero if someone calls me boss

Confused as fuck
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