I was hesitant to bring this to BBI, but there are a lot of people here with knowledge about how to handle these situations. I have been working in restaurants for about a decade after my sales office was closed. At first I really took an interest in food and liquor and have been doing it at quite a high level. My knowledge about this stuff has comstantly been enhanced with every move Ive made. I have worked every type of party, am able to confidently talk about any spirit (except sherry, lol) and I have saved multiple places from dealing with an allergy fuck up because I pay attention to all the tickets. I am very good at my job but dont want to manage a place. I am not into the hours being my career and the ceiling is too low. I want to do things at a higher level.
A couple years ago, I thought I was out with a potential POS sales gig where I would have a monstrous territory and strong relationship with the director, but that fell thru. Since then I have been interviewing for other sales gigs and lately got very interested in event planning. In fact I have a 2nd interview on Tuesday on location. So I took a job that had me working 4 days a week so I had M-W off to interview and job hunt.
The guy that hired me, hired me because I was a man and would be the only male on the floor. The money is solid for the hours I work, but being the only male on the floor, he is making an example of me and it has been getting worse every single week. Many think it is because he tried the same shit with a couple of the girls and he made them cry during a shift. He blames me for things that are not my responsibility and I have not talked back, just apologized and went about my job. Last night, when I was done and just changed, he pulled me aside for "a talk" during which he completely cuts me apart in front of co-workers and in ftont of guests because of an emailed complaint he got for a table I know I didnt work. I respectfully told him that wasnt my table but he insisted it was and that if it happened again he would fire me. I asked him if he could show me the closed out check because it would have my name on it and he told me he needed me to "just shut up and listen."
At that point I went from nervous to quietly livid. I know there is something I did to piss him off (like maybe show him up by learning the job so quickly) or that he has nobody else to put the fear of God into because of how the other girls react. Its to the point that others acknowledge it happening and now it seems he is willing to just pull anything (founded or not) out of his ass. Im prepared to take precautiins to cover my ass at this point.I wanted to know if anybody can add to or alter this list:
1) I wad planning on recording any other 1 on 1 conversation he had with me. Should I tell him that I am doing so?
2) Calling unemployment on Monday to see if I can chip thru any potential red tape I could have to deal with should I get terminated. Is this a tactic anybody has done before?
3) If he starts writing me up for horse shit, I am debating not signing it because that can demonstrate cause and prevent me from getting unemployment. Note: I started this job about a month ago but I have been consistently employed for over 5 years.
4) How logical is it to go directly to HR to discuss the issue? I understand that this is a scorched Earth move and that I might as well clean out my locker immediately, but I legitimately have been treated unfairly. Ideally, I would like to get another job, train while Im still on the floor earning normal money, then go to them and tell them I am quitting out-roght because of his approach and tact
I have a great resume. I can get a job rather quickly and I have other career prospects. But finding a job in Philly is very tought midsummer...real opportunities dont really happen until mid August. But its to the point I am having dreams every night with him in it. I am not going to act oit, but last night startled me and I dont want to be unprepared.
Any and all advice would help. I dont expect much....Philly is an at will employer. But maybe there is something out there.
Never take shit from anyone. Never, when you are right. The job market should be in employees favor as unemployment is under 4.
Sometimes you just need to stand your ground.
2) go out like a champion
is a POS sales gig a "Piece of shit" sales gig or some other type, because I'm not sure what is worse a piece of shit sales gig or piece of shit restaurant gig.
You're not going to prove anything to anyone, least of whom him.
2) go out like a champion
is a POS sales gig a "Piece of shit" sales gig or some other type, because I'm not sure what is worse a piece of shit sales gig or piece of shit restaurant gig.
I'm guessing he's referring to point of sale systems, presumably for food service based on the OP.
Also to the poster asking about POS it’s “point of sale”. What most restaurants use to input your orders amongst other things.
Check your company guidebook on recording others. If its not allowed, dont do it.
I would say keep working there until you find your next job. Its always better to be employed while looking than unemployed.
Check your company guidebook on recording others. If its not allowed, dont do it.
I would say keep working there until you find your next job. Its always better to be employed while looking than unemployed.
Yea and this is in response to pretty much everybody....I have been dealt a shit sandwich. I pretty much have been look all last night when I got off thru today. I figured that was really the only route.
Jim, are you sure? I mean they can probably just can me gor nothing no?
Or he’s just an asshole...
He is 6'4 and fatty big. He was fast tracked from bar back to manager. Very odd move to say the least. He has no concept of his job
The general principle HR follows is: who do we have to fear in a unlawful termination suit and/or an harassment suit.
Unlawful termination suit you have to show a pattern. For example, the last four people fired were all gay,women of color, or over age 60 etc . . .
You are being harassed but harassment is generally based on a protected category (gender, race, ethnicity, age, disability etc )
So, basically you are not in a strong position. Unless your boss has had previous complaints against him. HR is not really going to listen if you say you are being targeted because you are male because your boss is worried about female employees bursting into tears. That might be true. But it is hard sell.
And based on several years working in HR, my advice would be: Find a new job pronto before they can fire you or write you up. Try to play your boss by being super nice. Apologize for going off. Try to be his friend until you get a new job.
If you want to fight: Do what Jim suggested above. But if you think about it rationally without being pissed, getting the hell out of there is the best option. Why would you want to stay?
Just get out. Then after you have a new job, write a letter to the head of HR and the head of the company. That's how you get back at this fucker.
A few of those to upper management should do the trick.
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East Coast experience is highly valued for many reasons.
Since you are actively interviewing elsewhere, even to the point of having scheduled a second interview, why worry about it? Just bide your time and leave with a good resume intact.
Also could he have found out your are interviewing elsewhere and his actions are resentment of that? Still not a good reason for his behaviour but might explain it.
Also, refusing to sign a Warning Letter is pretty irrelevant. Your signature is only acknowledgment of receipt, not of agreement with the content. Indeed, your refusal to acknowledge receipt is, itself, an act of insubordination.
I can’t really give you much advice because I don’t reall understand what your job entails and, more importantly, the motivations of your new boss. What is obvious, however, is that your new boss has it out for you and, if that is true, then either your days, or his, are numbered .... and seeing that his boss is likely the one who would have to decide that battle in your favor, that has to be considered a long sho5.
Unless I’m missing something, I’d try to keep my head down and find another job ASAP. And if you are lucky enough to find another job before you lose this one, go out with your mouth shut because you just never know how burning bridges will haunt you in the future. It may feel good at the moment, but you could pay a heavy price later just for the sake of some irrelevant temporary emotional satisfaction.
Good luck. I know how much anxiety and stress such situations cause.
Just get out. Then after you have a new job, write a letter to the head of HR and the head of the company. That's how you get back at this fucker.
Vanzetti, this is exactly what I interpreted their reaction would be. I understand the spot I am in. I have actually never bursted out in anger and have tried being buddy buddy with him. Talking sports, almost going as far as trashing the Giants. Lol. Its not taking.
Now I am just in cover my ass mode and looking onward.
As far as asking for the ticket, he would totally look at that as a challenge to his authority and would prob fast track me getting the boot
Also ask yourself if you can live X amount of time on unemployment. If it’s worth the risk I say go for it. I got out of a bad situation last year and going to HR was he best thing I ever did.
Its getting to that point UCONN. Thats why every single one of my conversations with him will be recorded. I have even debated having another person in the room any time he wants to talk to me.
Go to HR. That way it’s documented and if he pulls any retaliatory moves, he’s screwed. May want to get a co-worker you have a good relationship with to corroborate these incidents as well.
PA is 2-party. All recording someone is going to get you is sued and the expense of going to court.
Is the restaurant large or owned by a decent sized corporation? Are you friendly with anyone in HR? If you know someone you trust, maybe just ask subtly if he's a known problem. If the type of behavior is tolerated, and it's a small operation who knows how adult HR is going to be about it.
I've always applied the "it's better to be wrong and get my way" approach with assholes. And getting your way really just looks like moving on and finding a better job where you are respected and feel happy.
I was thinking more from the Unemployment standpoint. So he cant make up some bullshit for insub.
I have been inclined to and am basically just stepping looking for a new gig.
Definitely know the feeling of the restaurant business, the plus side? Many nice other restaurant jobs out there
Good luck chop
I'm a consultant with clients in a number of different states from coast to coast and I record all client conversations (conference call meetings) as long as I have their permission.
If you record your conversations with him without his permission, you'll likely be in more trouble than he would be for his transgressions, should he decide to sue YOU.
If you have any way of speaking with him alone, I’d calmly bring it up. “I wanted to clear the air about the other night. I’m nearly 100% certain that the incident you were referring to was not a table that I served. I didn’t want to create a scene in front of the other staff, but between you and I, I deserve the opportunity to clear my name or be presented with some sort of verification that it was in fact my table. I work hard here, and this job is important to my livelihood.”
Restaurant managers love to resort to the tough guy bullshit. If he starts taking it there again, just calmly decline to go there and let him know you’re going to discuss the matter with HR because you’ve been wrongly accused. Once it goes there, you should document the incident in a letter to HR that you hand deliver to initiate the discussion of the events.
And again, 100% calm, the whole time.
then, after you record that pos shitting on you, then hire an frsa attorney to sue the company after you are terminated for retalliation.
dont let him win, he is pile of garbage and you deserve better.
You should really, really not do that.
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Why else would he yell at you in front of everyone? Because he wants everyone to hear the message - "this could be you too".
b) he's a consultant looking to tighten things up(efficiencies), cut the fat,etc or,
c) looking for someone he can respect, and not take his shit(,Ferris Beuhler: ' You can't respect someone who kisses your ass'.....or cries).
d) pissed because a place you applied called him/HR to check on your app., and feels betrayed.
IMO, RESPECTFULLY, stand up to him; at least you'll feel better. The economy and job market are in your favor.
BTW, sorry, you have to go through this crap. I had a similar thing a few years. It sucks. I don't know if you watch the series Vikings, but if so, just think about the day you can go Ragnar Lothbrok on this dude. Because like Jarl Borg guys like this usually get what they deserve some day
Tonight while I was starting to do the money, he started getting after me about a table that hadn't been cleared. Mind you, he had been drinking for about an hour and a half. He chastised me for leaving water glasses on the table when they had been closed out for 10 mins. This was at a time we didnt need the tables. I stopped what I was doing and came walking out. The table, the members' names I had remembered only from serving them a week ago, had just gone outside to smoke. They came back inside and sat back down, taking sips of their water. I looked at him as if to say, "what now?" And he said nothing and walked away. I laughed to myself and went back to my work. The bartender saw the whole thing amd asked if he apologized. Obv he didnt.
Ive been looking for a job the whole night and at this point it is what it is. I wont quit. He has to fire me. Then I will go to HR and let them know what happened, not expecting anything from it, and then open a UE claim. It is what it is. Unfortunately as someone earlier mentioned, restaurant managers are a notch above DMV employess, but also usually drunks or drug addicts.
I'll be fine, but at this point, some talk back is in order. Respectful, but pointed.