NFT: Wedding

sounds like she pursued him

you're not the best man

.

Especially if they know you'd need to take off work...

able to answer such a question. But I guess the big one ... already asked ... do you like the guy?

Gotta start and end there, imo.

Seems you're a bit pissy in his direction. lol

yeah hes doing it all wrong. when youre 44 your second marriage is to the 26 year old yoga instructor. not a first marriage to a lady pushing 50.

on what I thought the likelihood of a successful marriage would be, but it doesn't sound like you're especially close to the guy. To me, that would be a deal breaker.

I can't understand why you're hesitating

but don't socialize with him outside of work. He told me today ten people from her side have declined already so I feel bad. Seems strange the bride's family has to travel and not the grooms. Leaning towards attending.

If it was my wedding, fuck you, stay home! :D

and write it off as a business expense by scouting locations for a new gym while you're out there.

but he wants you to travel five hours for an event? I'm not going.

In comment 14009187 averagejoe said:

Quote:

but don't socialize with him outside of work. He told me today ten people from her side have declined already so I feel bad. Seems strange the bride's family has to travel and not the grooms. Leaning towards attending.

I feel like I'm in a conversation with my wife lol. No, honey, you don't need to go because everyone else ISN'T going. No, honey, just because you feel bad doesn't mean you need to take off work, burn personal time, travel 5-6 hours, spend likely big-ish bucks on hotel, food, gift, etc. No honey, you don't go to these weddings ... of people you borderline like from work. No.

I'd politely decline. Sounds like a big waste of money.

If the bars open I say yes. Only question that matters

See my thread about traveling without a plan.

If the timing is right and you're looking for an adventure, maybe make his wedding the catalyst for the trip, but not THE reason. Head out a few days early ... see what's along the way ... and if you get sidetracked? Awwwww man, by car broke down ... shit, sorry man.

Or you make it to the wedding. Have a blast. Then take a different route back ... same premise.

... my first thought is: Who are the Giants playing that weekend and how will effect my viewing of the game. Yes, sad but true.

Everything else flows from there...

(For the record, Giants have only 2 Sunday games this October - so the coast is clear).

From the sound of it, the work-buddy relationship sounds sketchy at best. Take him out for drinks before the wedding or party with him at his Bachelor party (if there is one). The, you did your duty and won't have to kill a nice October weekend killing 10 hours going back-and-forth...

Or just middle aged ladies?

Otherwise no way

Does the bride have hot single friends? Is it an open bar? If the answer to all 3 questions is a yes, then you should go.

Are we talking DC, Syracuse, the middle of Pennsylvania, somewhere else?

Stay away...

wedding in the middle of nowhere for two people you don't really care about and you don't have a plus 1 female you've been dating and could take advantage of the wedding for hotel sex?


sounds like a great time. I don't think I'd go to this even if it was family.

It's impossible to get any other usable information on social standards. The Magic 8-ball is more reliable...

That'd be a big aspect for me. Having people I know and like to hang out with is a pretty big part of having a good time. Especially since this doesn't sound like a particular buddy of yours where you really want to be there for him.

In comment 14009314 Mad Mike said:

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That'd be a big aspect for me. Having people I know and like to hang out with is a pretty big part of having a good time. Especially since this doesn't sound like a particular buddy of yours where you really want to be there for him.

Good point. Maybe he only knows the groom.

You need to at least throw him a $100 check. $150 is better.

Don't be the cheapskate.

Buy him lunch and tell him the 300 mile trip and having to stay for 2 nights is too much (time and $). Throw him a card with some $ and wish him luck. End of it.

and wish him luck.

In comment 14009474 ThatLimerickGuy said:

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You need to at least throw him a $100 check. $150 is better. Don't be the cheapskate.

Uh no.

And what cip and pj said. Fuck no.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. And that means traveling, spending money, giving money etc.

Think through what you actually *want to do* -- cut out the nonsense of guilt, or what you might be perceived as, and just do what you want.

In comment 14009187 averagejoe said:

Quote:

but don't socialize with him outside of work. He told me today ten people from her side have declined already so I feel bad. Seems strange the bride's family has to travel and not the grooms. Leaning towards attending.

That is very generous of you, but you shouldn't feel obligated. If those ten people were going, would you still go? If not, then don't.