I’m looking for advice from any who may have had a similar experience. I’m happy for friends & family who settled into a rewarding and bearable (or even pleasant) profession, but I am so not among them.
I’m 36 and I hate my career. I work in outside sales and it’s all I’ve ever done on a professional level. After a few random jobs post-college, then a transition during the recession 09-10, I settled into an outside sales position and killed it for about 7 years. Praise all around, jump to a better, higher paying job. Multiple promotions offered. My present company and boss are GREAT. They treat us very well: solid salary, company car, legit benefits. It’s not the company I hate; it’s the industry which has just ground me down. It’s
insanely competitive and competitors play very, very dirty to gain business including lots of cash (ie bribes) under the table.
No one knows I hate it and my work has not yet suffered to the point of anyone noticing (i.e. still lots of praise from bosses, co-workers, and customers). But it is an absolute slog to go to work and, worst of all, I get bad anxiety (including insomnia) about my future even though I’m not the anxious type in general. Moreover, I’d kind of like to settle down and have kids - it’s not just women who deal with
”ticking clock syndrome” - but an uncertain career future has that up in the air.
Outside sales is literally all that’s on my resume and I simply do not want to do it anymore. I have zero professional experience anywhere else. I have solid companies listed in my history (including one very well-known one), but wouldn’t say my resume has any glaring strengths like an MBA or programming skills.
I’m really not sure what to do here and would love some advice from anyone who’s been in a similar situation.
I feel trapped.
Financially I’m okay and have savings in the multiple 6 figures (but that’s far from “sit on your ass/fuck you money” in NYC…it would go quick if nothing is coming in). I’m healthy. All that to say: I know things could be much worse. This is not a sob story. But I just worry a ton about where my life is headed.
Have you made a career change later in life? Career counselor? Do you know of a field to which it’s feasible to transition to at my age? I really would prefer to NOT go back to school.
I truly appreciate any advice or relevant stories you may have!
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Most of us hate our careers or at least are not passionate about them and as long as the money is good enough to allow us to live our lives the way we want we "endure" them.
People rarely wind up in careers they are passionate about (though I'm sure everyone on BBI will chime in with how they love their job, picked it out when they were 12 right after punching the bully in the mouth, and then they married their best friend - the other fallacy - no one marries their best friend - you marry the only person left in your circle after spending so much time with her your friends drift away, and raised multiple perfect children).
If you are serious about changing careers there are tons of resources out there, but first thing is probably to figure out what you want to do.
At a community college, realized Software worked for me, retrained - got my Bachelors, worked my way up from a subcontractor to a prime, did well climbing the ladder as a Software Engineer.
I was able to pull that off because I have a really supportive wife - we floated on her salary, then on mine as I took classes and we raised kids. Playing catchup on retirement now because we basically went a full decade on one salary.
It sounds like you don't have a plan B. Don't jump without a parachute.
Are you married? Kids? That's the key - unwise to make risky career choices once other lives are impacted.
Most jobs suck - remember that. It comes down to people, usually. If you're unhappy where you are, maybe better to change employers than career.
I hear ya man, maybe its that quarter life crisis or something. Stick with it
No, I don’t get the sense that most people “hate” their careers and it’s a broad brush cheap shot to characterize it as a generational thing to want to at least be able to bear what we do for 160-200 hours per month.
link here - ( New Window )
You have to do what you do when your trying to find someone to marry. You have to write down your must haves, nice to haves and your non negotiables.
Good luck.
Yeah, that's my job. No love in Software, man! :D
No, I don’t get the sense that most people “hate” their careers and it’s a broad brush cheap shot to characterize it as a generational thing to want to at least be able to bear what we do for 160-200 hours per month.
I only mentioned I'm not sure if this is trolling because it seems strange that a 36 year old man would register on a NY Giants community forum to ask for career advice. And not something like LinkedIn or an HR forum like one of the SHRM sites.
I’m definitely keeping perspective: being employed with benefits and having my health is highly desirable for many people who have it tough out there. I wish them the best. Just seeking a change.
All have degree of stress. I always look at it as if they pay you for dealing with the bad parts...as most sales people get a high and woukd the take winning for free.
But when the pain of losing out does the thrill of winning....it might be time for a sales management job.
It can be rewarding and low pressure, with the emphasis on building business networks and establishing relationships of trust instead of on sales. If you've been successful in sales for so long, you probably have the skills to be a good networker.
Downsides are dealing with bureaucracy and low pay... although these vary greatly depending on the consulate. Some have less bureaucracy with higher compensation and are run more like private companies. Either way, it's a break from the rat race. If you want more info I'd be happy to discuss.
I wound up running a business with a very close friend that is doing extremely well, allows me to work from home on a daily basis (or wherever I want), compensates me MUCH better, and is much more in line with what I am good at and enjoy.
Doesn't mean I don't dread checking my email sometimes or that there aren't drawbacks. I.e.. I am ALWAYS at work now. I don't clock out at 5pm like I used to and shut the door on work until the next day.
I often work very late hours, weekends, etc. But again - it's a tradeoff and I love the freedoms I have now.
Hang in there. Figure out what you really love and want to do and look into ways you could potentially get into that field.
I thought 30 was too old to just bail on my job and take the risk I took but it was one of the best things I ever did.
Even if you were 40, I'd give you the same advice. Life is too short to be miserable every day. Most people won't LOVE their jobs, but theres definitely a major difference between being content with your career and being absolutely miserable.
Best of luck.
Actuary would be a nightmare for many but the point is that you can do it even if it may not be easy. And as has been mentioned above your sales skills are valuable in whatever direction you choose to go...especially in selling yourself.
Just a thought.
My advice is to find something in tech to pivot to that isn’t too huge of a pay cut. But you have to expect a pay cut to start over but it’ll likely be worth it to do something you enjoy.
I took a pretty legitimate pay cut to switch jobs at first. I knew I would eventually make much more than I was originally - but in order to get started and grow the business when it was still in its relative infancy, I had to take less money until we made more.
It was a risk I was willing to take, and I'm glad I did.
I took a 50% paycut to learn marketing, worked my way up to management, and then left it last year for my current job, a place that I enjoy coming to and working hard for (tech startup in construction industy). Yeah I wish I made more, but going to bed every night with no anxiety about hating the next 8-10 hour work day is priceless.
No, I don’t get the sense that most people “hate” their careers and it’s a broad brush cheap shot to characterize it as a generational thing to want to at least be able to bear what we do for 160-200 hours per month.
Some people on BBI are just miserable and think every time someone's thoughts don't line up 100% with their own they're trolling.
Don't pay pjacs any mind. I'm a self-hating Millenial. I'm sort of kidding but I hate a lot of Millenials that I think are entitled. But hoping to not hate your job is not entitled. We spend at least about half our time at work. There's no such thing as work-life balance, your work IS your life. I don't have any advice for you but I'm wishing you luck. I just had a job that I absolutely hated. It's the worst feeling in the world.
Definitely not wrong about that - I think that's accurate and should really be the goal because it's usually attainable for almost anyone willing to commit and make a few small sacrifices along the way.
Obviously having a job you absolutely LOVE and can't wait to go to every day is the real dream. But it's not common and it's hard to find.
I took a 50% paycut to learn marketing, worked my way up to management, and then left it last year for my current job, a place that I enjoy coming to and working hard for (tech startup in construction industy). Yeah I wish I made more, but going to bed every night with no anxiety about hating the next 8-10 hour work day is priceless.
What tech company in construction are you working for? Like what kind of software?
Lots of MBAs are ex-military. You probably know that being in an MBA program. I think it follows that there are lots of transferable skills to other careers.
My first thought is to absolutely, 100% make a change.
You dont need to quit tomorrow but mentally prepare for the change. Resolve to change careers and start researching, looking, thinking, talking.
My second thought is to spend considerable time thinking about what would make you happy. This may take time. You might not get it right at first.
I think others had some great ideas. Look for something you can first transition into.
You 100% have a transferable skill. Ive learned nearly every job is at its core a sales job.
So I think you can get a job in many different “fields” working for a company in a similar type job that will allow you to escape the atmosphere you dont like. Just spitballing but the googles and Apples need people with these skills as does even private schools, colleges in development, tech companies, insurance, marketing companies, etc. I half wonder if a field like Development would suit you, where you raise money for an institution. Certainly being in sales is transferable
You mentioned you have some savings built up, well this may allow you to transition into a company at a lesser salary at first.
Start talking to people and asking them about there jobs, companies, fields, etc. Start looking at help wanted and reading about what’s out there. Maybe talk to a headhunter type and see what options they see for your skill set.
It can be done. Good luck!
I retired from the Military a few years back and I was in a similar position I was 42 and had no idea what I wanted to do in life and it took me about 3 years to figure out a second career that made me happy with what I was doing so your not too old to change. I know about the anxiety with the unknown but the most freeing thing in the world I have found is just leaving your old life behind and staring over again.
I wish you luck on your next endever
If you scored decently on your SATs you can do well on the GMAT. 700+ will get you into a top 20 school and the rest is on you. You can can land into consulting (not the big 3 unless youre in a top 5 school) finance, or for less money be a brand manager at some CPG company.
The MBA is a reset button - dont worry about your age, or time - happiness is worth that and more. The fact that you have money is great, I would take out student loans, and put all your savings to work in the market - youll likely make back your interest in dividends and returns and will not have depleted your savings.
Good luck!
I don't know your makeup, so this next part might not be for you, but I would suggest starting your own business in an industry you know. I know you currently hate your field, but a lot of times it's the "how" and not the "what" that is important. If it isn't for you, maybe look into a sales trainer position? You'll take a haircut in pay for sure, but you can use the skills you acquired to work in a completely different capacity. It's more creative and operational. No more grinding in the field and dealing with the bullshit that comes with traditional sales roles.
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ages 23-27 but I wouldn’t go back to the money at 32 with kid and mortgage only to still be miserable.
I took a 50% paycut to learn marketing, worked my way up to management, and then left it last year for my current job, a place that I enjoy coming to and working hard for (tech startup in construction industy). Yeah I wish I made more, but going to bed every night with no anxiety about hating the next 8-10 hour work day is priceless.
What tech company in construction are you working for? Like what kind of software?
Happy share info if you have an email to send to. Are you in the industry?
Have you thought about going back to school and transitioning into a different but related role?
For example if you are in pharma sales, what about getting a pharm degree and getting in w a pharm company in a different role?
Switched the more of an account management position at a travel agency and have had much fewer Sunday night scares over the last 2-3 years.
Happy to talk about it if you'd like
Yeah, engineers make up a huge amount of MBA students. My school was a third engineers and used to be half engineers. But my school is also very quant focused. Though, I know this to be the case for most top schools.
BTW, are you in a full-time program? The age for the rest of your classmates follows a pattern for full-time students but your age follows part-time students. That's kind of irrelevant, just curious. I know that the Military network is extremely strong though. I envied it at school.
Yeah, the MBA is good for certain things. But it's not a guarantee of anything. I know of plenty of my MBA classmates who either got fired/laid-off within a year, hated their job, or both. I know people that took forever to find a job even after working at a major consulting firm, such as PWC. It was a great experience for me but I have a lot of second thoughts. I've had one job since graduating that last a year (contract work), it paid decently but I hated it. Now I'm having trouble finding another job for the second time in a little more than 2 years. But I'm also not great at interviewing or networking.
Most of us hate our careers or at least are not passionate about them and as long as the money is good enough to allow us to live our lives the way we want we "endure" them.
People rarely wind up in careers they are passionate about (though I'm sure everyone on BBI will chime in with how they love their job, picked it out when they were 12 right after punching the bully in the mouth, and then they married their best friend - the other fallacy - no one marries their best friend - you marry the only person left in your circle after spending so much time with her your friends drift away, and raised multiple perfect children).
If you are serious about changing careers there are tons of resources out there, but first thing is probably to figure out what you want to do.
You, you are good.... No, no, no.... You are good !!!!
My first aerospace job I loved, enjoyed and learned... After accountants took over it's been miserable nd it doesn't matter what company you work for, they are all the same....
I sell industrial gases and welding supplies. I love the people I work with, it gives me a lot of freedom, and I dont have to sit behind a desk 9-5. It's not a tremendous amount of cold calls, I see customers daily and a lot of them are my regular customers and I've developed good relationships with them. I don't think I would ever love working but I enjoy what I do for the most part, the freedoms its affords me are great. If i hit my numbers no one says a word to me about anything
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In comment 14041543 UConn4523 said:
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ages 23-27 but I wouldn’t go back to the money at 32 with kid and mortgage only to still be miserable.
I took a 50% paycut to learn marketing, worked my way up to management, and then left it last year for my current job, a place that I enjoy coming to and working hard for (tech startup in construction industy). Yeah I wish I made more, but going to bed every night with no anxiety about hating the next 8-10 hour work day is priceless.
What tech company in construction are you working for? Like what kind of software?
Happy share info if you have an email to send to. Are you in the industry?
I recruit construction professionals, might be able to help you with some sales leads. thebacreturns@gmail.com
If you have the means, don't screw around -- find a reputable excellent career counsellor.
I hope you see this as a unique opportunity to start fresh with no assumptions an.
Who can tolerate having a boss and busting their hump nearly all of their lives? I know I cannot. I know I just have to fake caring until my daughters turn 18. I am going through a divorce right now and its the dumbest thing I've ever did was get married. Who cares what my useless job is?
You might have to go back to school (depending on what new career you choose).
Find a college where it is cheap to live and just go for it. You can always go back to sales if the new career doesnt work out. So what's the downside? You deplete your savings a bit. But that's why you save--so when something comes along you have the money to pursue it.
Who can tolerate having a boss and busting their hump nearly all of their lives? I know I cannot. I know I just have to fake caring until my daughters turn 18. I am going through a divorce right now and its the dumbest thing I've ever did was get married. Who cares what my useless job is?
Did Pops fund the down payment for the restaurant?
Yup..agree 100%. It’s not the career itself. It is what my profession (big box retail pharmacy) has become...completely micromanaged, understaffed while the company piles on more and more time wasting tasks. There’s days where I rather be mopping floors or doing about anything else than this.
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I took a risk opened up a restaurant. I do not care if I make a profit of $2 by the end of the year, working for someone else is NOT something I want to be doing.
Who can tolerate having a boss and busting their hump nearly all of their lives? I know I cannot. I know I just have to fake caring until my daughters turn 18. I am going through a divorce right now and its the dumbest thing I've ever did was get married. Who cares what my useless job is?
Did Pops fund the down payment for the restaurant?
Nah, had a few help from locals