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NFT: Hey, I'll tell you what

crick n NC : 11/15/2018 9:08 am
Tommy: You can get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there. But, wouldn't you rather to take his word for it?

Mr. Brady, Customer: [confused] What? I'm failing to make the connection here.

Tommy: No, I mean is, you can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's ass... No, wait. It's gotta be your bull.

Richard: Wow.
"Quit playin' with your Dinghy....."  
MBavaro : 11/15/2018 9:17 am : link
.
One of the most underrated comedies of my time  
dep026 : 11/15/2018 9:22 am : link
absolute fantastic movie.


Marty, find out where the police are going to be taking him. Send over a bottle of bubbly with a bucket of ice and a card. Have it say, "Tough break, get drunk on me. Use the bucket to ice down your marbles, Yours, Z."
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Jints in Carolina : 11/15/2018 9:34 am : link
But why do they put a guarantee on the box?

Because they know all they sold ya was a guaranteed piece of shit. That's all it is, isn't it? Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time. But for now, for your customer's sake, for your daughter's sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality product from me.

Okay, I'll buy from you.
Suuuuuure  
mattlawson : 11/15/2018 9:40 am : link
All you can handle, bro
Im just checking the specs...rotary girder...I'm retarded...  
j_rud : 11/15/2018 9:41 am : link
.
By "finessing them", you mean spitting out sentence fragments  
Greg from LI : 11/15/2018 9:41 am : link
and lighting things on fire?
I think your brain's  
bigbluehoya : 11/15/2018 9:42 am : link
got a *thick* candy shell.
Thats a pretty girl down there...  
26.2 : 11/15/2018 9:49 am : link
Gee, I wonder if she goes out with one of the Yankees!
Do you know  
pjcas18 : 11/15/2018 9:52 am : link
where the weight room is?
You know, a lot of people go to college for seven years  
Greg from LI : 11/15/2018 9:54 am : link
Yeah, they're called doctors
Did I catch a "niner" in there?  
Britt in VA : 11/15/2018 10:03 am : link
Were you calling from a walkie talkie?
You know, when we stopped for gas this morning...  
Greg from LI : 11/15/2018 10:07 am : link
...I think it was YOU who put the oil in.

-Now, if you're going to say I didn't use the right kind, you're wrong. I used 10w30. Besides, motor oil has nothing to do with this accident.

True, but it's kind of hard to latch the hood properly WHEN YOU DON'T TAKE THE CAN OUT, YOU NO-SELLING WASTE OF SPACE!!!!
Lol that movie is great.  
NYG07 : 11/15/2018 10:20 am : link
Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a kid?

If I wanted a kiss I would have called your mother.

How do you know the guaranteed fairy isn't some crazy glue sniffer. He sneaks into your house once and that's all it takes. Next thing you know, there is money missing off your dresser and your daughter is knocked up. I have seen it a hundred times.
Mom, look, it's the guy who robbed the bank!  
Greg from LI : 11/15/2018 10:22 am : link
I didn't rob any bank!

-Oh, sure, it was some other fat guy with a tiny head.

I have a tiny head?
RE: Lol that movie is great.  
MBavaro : 11/15/2018 10:25 am : link
In comment 14178364 NYG07 said:
Quote:
Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a kid?

If I wanted a kiss I would have called your mother.

How do you know the guaranteed fairy isn't some crazy glue sniffer. He sneaks into your house once and that's all it takes. Next thing you know, there is money missing off your dresser and your daughter is knocked up. I have seen it a hundred times.


"BUILDING MODEL AIRPLANES, she says. Well, we're not buyin' it...."
.  
Jints in Carolina : 11/15/2018 10:30 am : link
That's nice, you look like a Helen. Helen, we're both in sales. Let me tell you why I suck as a sales man. Let's say I go into a guy's office, let's say he's even remotely interested in buying something. Well then I get all excited. I'm like Jojo the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet.
OH MY GOD WE'RE BURNING ALIVE!!!!!!!  
Greg from LI : 11/15/2018 10:36 am : link
.
Does this suit make me look fat?  
NYG07 : 11/15/2018 10:43 am : link
No, your face does.
RE: Does this suit make me look fat?  
Jints in Carolina : 11/15/2018 10:48 am : link
In comment 14178403 NYG07 said:
Quote:
No, your face does.


LMAO
Oh My God  
Jints in Carolina : 11/15/2018 10:48 am : link
I can hear you getting fatter.
Lol  
crick n NC : 11/15/2018 11:37 am : link
Thanks for the laughs people

The funny thing is that I "think" I made this same thread like 6 months ago, but it didn't hit me until after I posted this thread.

As Bennett in Commando said to Matrix "You're getting old John, your getting old"

I don't need no stinkin gun, John!!!!  
Britt in VA : 11/15/2018 11:40 am : link
!
Brothers don't shake hands!  
Greg from LI : 11/15/2018 11:54 am : link
Brothers gotta HUG!
Richard  
RobCrossRiver56 : 11/15/2018 12:24 pm : link

What were you doing??
RE: I don't need no stinkin gun, John!!!!  
crick n NC : 11/15/2018 12:54 pm : link
In comment 14178471 Britt in VA said:
Quote:
!


😄
...  
slickwilly : 11/15/2018 1:18 pm : link
Tommy: Richard, do I have a mark on my face? It really hurts.

Richard: Nope, nothing. I thought I hit you on the shoulder.

Tommy: My shoulder doesn't hurt very much, but my face does.

[points to huge bruised area on his face]

Tommy: Right here. Not here or here so much. Right here.

Richard: Nope. Ship shape! Waitress, can I get that shrimp cocktail I saw in the glass case?

Helen: Yep. And you, what can I get

[pauses and looks at Tommy's face]

Helen: Jesus, what happened to your face?

Tommy: I knew it!
Tell you what, folks, if you don't know how a seat belt works, then...  
Greg from LI : 11/15/2018 1:37 pm : link
just push the call button and Tommy will come and hit you on the head with a tack hammer because you are a moron.
BEES, BEES!!!  
B in ALB : 11/15/2018 2:24 pm : link
YOUR FIREARMS ARE USELESS AGAINST THEM!
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