NFT: So... when did you tell your kids Santa isn't real?

Why would you tell them?? They'll eventually figure it out on their own and there's no reason to rush that.

and all going strong in their Santa belief....sort of shocked the oldest one hasn't questioned it yet.

But what really surprises me is that they all seem to really believe in that the stupid Elf is real despite tons of evidence to the contrary. Yesterday they asked me why he had a tag on his back!!!

My now 11 year old was as big a believer as they come. Last year in January...(she was 10) she was crying and upset and kind of knew but didn't want to let go. She asked me crying 'So is Santa not real?' and I just opened my arms for her and she sobbed and broke down for 15 minutes but after that she recovered. She decided when she was ready and I am very happy about that.

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They'll find out about it at school

are you talking about? Not real?

Every kid is different. My oldest son (9 now) really didn't believe when he was about 5. My wife responded with "You don't believe, you don't receive". That delayed a little bit but I think he was told 2 years ago. I made it clear that he was not to tell his sister (3 years younger) and any of his other friends who still believed.

He's responded to that and my daughter is none the wiser.


Sometimes it is just a matter of stopping the spread.

and doesn't tell his sister just to wreck it for her.

from a classmate before too long.

I was a strange kid because I remember thinking at 8 or so, 'Wait. How is this possible? How does he go to every house in one night? And one sled for all those presents? This is bogus.'

We have given him numerous opportunities to let us know otherwise but he still does. Hopefully when he finds out he doesn't ruin it for his younger brother and sister.

In comment 14203825 SLIM_ said:

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are you talking about? Not real? Every kid is different. My oldest son (9 now) really didn't believe when he was about 5. My wife responded with "You don't believe, you don't receive". That delayed a little bit but I think he was told 2 years ago. I made it clear that he was not to tell his sister (3 years younger) and any of his other friends who still believed. He's responded to that and my daughter is none the wiser. Sometimes it is just a matter of stopping the spread.

Had the same conversation with all three of my kids (now 18, 16 and 12) Just broke it down as Santa becomes an idea of joy. Spread the joy and don't ruin it for others.

i want them to come to me. just wondering how you all handled the situation

I don't know that you have to have a great reveal. My oldest just kept asking if Santa was real or not when she was 11 and we never confirmed it for her. When she was 12 she just insisted she already knew and it was fine. The only rule was she could not tell her little sister.

Your kids will know long before they ask you. Some of them will not ask because they know the answer, but don't want you to confirm it. Let them believe as long as they want to.

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I never had the conversation about it I knew they knew and just played along. I think they thought if they told they wouldn’t get the presents anymore. When the oldest finally came to (after I knew he knew I dropped tidbits that if he knows something don’t spoil it for his little sister) we let him help with the Santa stuff. The look on his face when he realized everything we put into the Santa mystique was priceless. He will be 24 next week and is engaged but every year he tells me he wants my help when he has kids to teach him what I did because he said it was perfect and wants that for his kids. To me the look on their face when they woke up was what I loved but him telling me this knew I did it right

told 1st grade class -
parents in uproar - I think teacher was fired
Montville NJ
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A man in a suit.

Guess we didn’t sell it hard enough

my mom told me when i was young. She didn't have any money so she just told us the truth. I'll let my baby think he's real for however long he wants though. He's 1 and so far the only santa he's met is santa cow at chick fila. He adored him though

figured it out around 9 or 10, and then ruined it for their younger sibling.

couple of years. My youngest was 7 and was hiding a video camera in a flower basket by the tree

We knew.. so we borrow a Santa suit from my sister in laws father in law and we have my wife and I putting out the gifts in the video and in walks my oldest as Santa...

When my youngest watched the video the next day.. he was so excited that he caught Santa on video.. that lasted about another 2 years and then it was over. He found out in school...

But it sure was priceless the expression on his face..

In comment 14203880 blueberry said:

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told 1st grade class - parents in uproar - I think teacher was fired Montville NJ Link - ( New Window )

What a witch.

both in Santa and the Elf on the Shelf. Hope it lasts a couple more years. I love the magic of Christmas in that regard.

... if he didn't know already (and he was on the fence), he knows now.

I remember asking my mother and she just told me the truth, so I must have started doubting it from somewhere.

If and when I ever have kids, I'm leaning toward not feeding them the myth. Doesn't seem necessary.

But they ain't dumb, they are riding that present train as long as they can.

where the elves come from your good.

certain members of the community who worshipped differently felt excluded (I can only assume) whose kids were instructed to tell any other kid who mentioned Santa Claus that the entire thing is made up. We had no choice in the matter and didn't dare complain....I think my daughter was in 4th grade when she was informed.

I think one year they kinda just ... arrived at it ... then some questions and my wife and I pretty much fought the good fight. What? What do you mean he's not real? The gifts? WE don't put them there ... no idea how they'd get there by themselves.

Went on for a few years. They still liked putting out cookies, even when they "knew." Later they analyzed the handwriting on the little gift tags ... suspected my wife's handwriting.

They're 20 and 18 and I don't think we ever TRULY admitted the truth to them. lol

and he still believed up until last year at age 11. My wife and I decided to tell him because we didn't want him being picked on at school if he mentioned it. It's a shitty thing, but he lasted longer than either me or my wife so I felt like it was a fair solution. My daughter is 9 and she is still believes hook, line and sinker. Just hoping her bigger bro doesn't spill the beans..

29, 27 and 21 and still believe!

I explained that there was a St. Nicholas who did good deeds to help children, esp. poor ones and it is a tradition to do kind things for children that parents continued in his honor. It made it kid of cooler in their eyes.
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He said in order to get out of buying presents, his father climbed up on the roof and fired off a shotgun. Then came inside and "Oh no kids - Santa just committed suicide."

in the first place. I would explain to them that we give gifts to each other because we care about each other.

My wife did though

My wife did though. I still believe.

Not sure what you’re driving at here gman. Santa is as real as the joy in the heart of a child on Christmas morning. Always has been and always will be real. Maybe you need to ask Ol’ Saint Nick for some Christmas joy and a bit of belief in your stocking this year. Merry Christmas!

My answer: Christmas is about the spirit of giving. That's what I believe in. Is there a fat guy in a red suit. No. That is just a way to explain the abstract concept of the spirit of giving to little kids. So, is there a spirit of giving that exists more around Christmas. Absolutely. That is Santa.

In comment 14204493 JustaDiscussion said:

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in the first place. I would explain to them that we give gifts to each other because we care about each other.

key words here are "I don't have kids" if you did you would feel differently.

In comment 14204221 Beezer said:

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I think one year they kinda just ... arrived at it ... then some questions and my wife and I pretty much fought the good fight. What? What do you mean he's not real? The gifts? WE don't put them there ... no idea how they'd get there by themselves. Went on for a few years. They still liked putting out cookies, even when they "knew." Later they analyzed the handwriting on the little gift tags ... suspected my wife's handwriting. They're 20 and 18 and I don't think we ever TRULY admitted the truth to them. lol

We have four daughters... youngest is 26 and she still "believes" (she contends she is entitled to the same # of years the oldest continues to receive "from santa" gifts... so if we stop or reduce gifts, she insists she gets the "old rule" for 8 more years)

that that fucking elf on the shelf isnt real. Hate that fucking thing