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NFT: Taking a sick day: Did I mess up and is it a big deal?

CMicks3110 : 12/7/2018 11:03 am
So, I called in sick from work today.

I told my boss that "I am taking a sick day, I feel a virus coming on, and I have a family member's wedding to go to, so I didn't think I should try to push through it";

I also noted that I would participate in a 9 am call that I am a key stakeholder in on a project we're working on, and would try to make myself available if anything urgent came up during the day.

He replied that "I'm either sick or not sick, and that If i'm taking a sick day because I feel I might get sick soon, he doesn't agree with that"

I should also add as a caveat that I am taking a two week vacation starting the week after next, and he mentioned that in his e-mail back to me.

The bottom line is, I am sick, but if it were not for the fact that I had an extremely busy weekend, I would have pushed through it, because I would have the weekend to rest and recover.

Another note for context, I have been on this team for 6 months, and had a very good mid-year review, but I was new, so I don't think there was a large sample size to critique me on. However, I think I have continued to produce good work, maybe with a hiccup or two here or there, but nothing major, so I don't think I have had any performance problems.

Was I wrong here to call out sick? Should I have powered through? And if I was? If you were my manager is it a big deal?



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My boss is great  
Mattman : 12/7/2018 12:02 pm : link
If someone isn't feeling well he doesn't want you to come in and spread the germs... the option to work from home exists but if you aren't feeling well he would rather have you take PTO and rest to get better.

The whole day before the 2 weeks off thing can raise eyebrows though... I can provide greater detail of why I'm taking time off because of how long I've worked for him, not that anyone wants to hear it, but I wouldn't have 6 months on the job.
RE: This is the problem with society and the government rules  
djm : 12/7/2018 12:02 pm : link
In comment 14208395 Earl the goat said:
Quote:
There shouldn’t be paid sick days
People take advantage all the time
If you work you get paid. If you don’t work you shouldn’t get paid


Oh for fucks sake you suck.
RE: RE: I'd polish  
Stan in LA : 12/7/2018 12:09 pm : link
In comment 14208368 SicilianGMEN said:
Quote:
In comment 14208361 pjcas18 said:


Quote:


your resume.

this is the beginning of the end of your future with this company.



This....


Yep.
Will you be fired?  
Dan in the Springs : 12/7/2018 12:12 pm : link
No. Will he think twice about including you on critical projects? Absolutely.

A guy who says he feels something coming on so he can't work isn't a guy you want to depend on for critical projects.
RE: i'd be pissed if I was your boss  
Stan in LA : 12/7/2018 12:14 pm : link
In comment 14208406 UConn4523 said:
Quote:
you are sick or you aren't, I agree with him. Just keep it simple moving forward. Telling your boss you feel like you are getting sick was a very poor decision.

Plus you imply you value your going to a wedding than your job. Bad choice to say to a boss.
Not a great look  
rsjem1979 : 12/7/2018 12:16 pm : link
Quote:
The bottom line is, I am sick, but if it were not for the fact that I had an extremely busy weekend, I would have pushed through it, because I would have the weekend to rest and recover.


Listen, these are your sick days and you're entitled to take them, but your rationale is pretty weak and you certainly never should have told your boss. "I'm skipping work to rest up for a busy social calendar this weekend" reflects poorly on you.
RE: RE: This is the problem with society and the government rules  
Earl the goat : 12/7/2018 12:17 pm : link
In comment 14208422 djm said:
Quote:
In comment 14208395 Earl the goat said:


Quote:


There shouldn’t be paid sick days
People take advantage all the time
If you work you get paid. If you don’t work you shouldn’t get paid



Oh for fucks sake you suck.


Ok asshole. You should listen to Larry Birds story about his father

He said he watched his father put on his boots one morning to go to work with a broken ankle
His father said to him. You don’t get paid to stay home
Not that I think it should be carried to that extreme but a lot of people take advantage of the system
Larry Bird said that was the best advice he ever had and he took it with him onto the basketball court where he always suited up whether he was in pain or not

More people should have those values

So my response is that You Suck
I am a contractor  
BocaGiants91 : 12/7/2018 12:18 pm : link
So calling in sick means I don't get paid. I have been consulting for the same place since March and have only missed a day our office was open for Yom Kippur. The one time I was sick, I came in, my manager took a look at me after three hours saw I was not my normal self, told me to go work the rest of the day from home. In the future I would just say I am under the weather and not get into too many details about the why of your sick day. Just my thoughts.
RE: ok  
Bill in UT : 12/7/2018 12:19 pm : link
In comment 14208328 CMicks3110 said:
Quote:
more pertinently, is it a big deal? Or is it something that will generally be forgotten about over a relatively short period of time.


That depends on your boss. He is who he is, not whoever anyone thinks he should be.
Since we are on a football board  
Chris684 : 12/7/2018 12:22 pm : link
Let me talk in football terms.

The problem with what you said is you volunteered up info that made you look like you made what they call a "business decision".

The guy on film who could've made the tackle but pulled up so as not to get hurt. You could've gone into work today but for some intangible reasons, you did not.

I don't want to pile on or make you feel bad. I don't think you're in major trouble or anything but it would probably be best for you too keep this in mind moving forward and work your hardest to make up for it.

Don't dwell on the mistake. Try to fix it and learn from it.
RE: RE: RE: ok  
bradshaw44 : 12/7/2018 12:28 pm : link
In comment 14208412 ron mexico said:
Quote:
In comment 14208408 Eman11 said:


Quote:


In comment 14208328 CMicks3110 said:


Quote:


more pertinently, is it a big deal? Or is it something that will generally be forgotten about over a relatively short period of time. It's not as if this is a pattern.



Ask yourself this.... If it was the other way around and you were the boss, would you forget about it? I know I wouldn't.



I would forget about it if it was a one off.


This. He may be irked for a few days but as long as he proves his worth moving forward and it wasn't a past issue I think this is a non-issue. Unless you work for EY,PWC, Deloitte, or KPMG. When I was at a big 4 they used to make us come to work with the Flu during busy season and they would put us on a floor with other sick people.
RE: RE: The two week trip  
Bill L : 12/7/2018 12:31 pm : link
In comment 14208369 Jim in Forest Hills said:
Quote:
In comment 14208363 CMicks3110 said:


Quote:


is basically the honeymoon I never got to take because my wife's mother was dying when we got married.



Exactly, its important to you. So you would go. This wedding is important to you, so you would go. Work? Not so much.


IMO this is the post of the thread. Not only because it sums up the situation, but it is exactly what you told your boss and likely reflects how he will think of you from here on out.
RE: RE: RE: This is the problem with society and the government rules  
Bill L : 12/7/2018 12:33 pm : link
In comment 14208443 Earl the goat said:
Quote:
In comment 14208422 djm said:


Quote:


In comment 14208395 Earl the goat said:


Quote:


There shouldn’t be paid sick days
People take advantage all the time
If you work you get paid. If you don’t work you shouldn’t get paid



Oh for fucks sake you suck.



Ok asshole. You should listen to Larry Birds story about his father

He said he watched his father put on his boots one morning to go to work with a broken ankle
His father said to him. You don’t get paid to stay home
Not that I think it should be carried to that extreme but a lot of people take advantage of the system
Larry Bird said that was the best advice he ever had and he took it with him onto the basketball court where he always suited up whether he was in pain or not

More people should have those values

So my response is that You Suck
I'd argue that he cost my team about a decade of losing misery because he suited up while in pain and was too much the icon for them to move on from him when they should have.

In that sense, Larry gave poor advice.
We have PTO, instead of sick days  
Heisenberg : 12/7/2018 12:33 pm : link
If the folks who work for me want to call in sick for any reason, that's fine with me. It'd be a bit different, I suppose, if we had sick days because you have to justify using that other bucket of time. But with PTO, my folks get a fixed number of days and can use them as they want. I don't micromanage it, but also my folks know not to get cute around deadlines.

As for the OP, you should have just said you were sick and been done with it. Too honest, i'd say.
RE: This is the problem with society and the government rules  
Bill in UT : 12/7/2018 12:35 pm : link
In comment 14208395 Earl the goat said:
Quote:
There shouldn’t be paid sick days
People take advantage all the time
If you work you get paid. If you don’t work you shouldn’t get paid


Earl, I'll jump on your bandwagon, lol. As the previous owner of a small (6 employees) business, I counted on everyone, especially myself, to be at work every day. I had 2 weeks paid vacation for everyone, but didn't guarantee any sick or personal days. I did generally pay them if they were reliable employees and called in sick, but they weren't assured of that, and it had better not become a pattern. And my people almost always showed up for work. If anyone asked about vacation or sick day policy at a job interview, I passed on them.
One thing to keep in mind  
10thAve : 12/7/2018 12:39 pm : link
If the wedding is this weekend and you’re out sick today, be careful in having pictures of you plastered on social media. Not the best look. Not sure if you’re connected on social media with your work colleagues but it’s something to consider if you are.

And yes, you definitely over complicated taking a sick day.
It really is in the eye of the beholder  
CMicks3110 : 12/7/2018 12:42 pm : link
So I guess it's not really anything anyone here is going to know. I just wanted to get a sense of the various opinions.

The bottom line is I am sick, i am not violently ill but I'm sick enough where i don't think I would be productive at work in any way, and now I'm a nervous wreck, which is doubly bad because I just wanted to rest.

I clearly overshared, but my intent in oversharing was to indicate that I wanted to be helpful in case there was any urgent issues. I have 6 Sick Days per Year, I used 2, so i had 4 days left. I saved my PTO days for my honeymoon. I haven't done anything I wasn't entitled to do, other than to state something that made me inadvertently look bad, because frankly, I like to please people. I thought it would make me sound more like a team player that I was willing to do stuff even though I was sick.

I got a very good mid-year review. I would hate to think that a supervisor would throw me out with the bathwater over a miscommunication.
If you have sick days and vacation time  
nygiants16 : 12/7/2018 12:46 pm : link
your boss has no right to be mad at you, that is time you earned he has no right to be mad at you..
RE: RE: RE: This is the problem with society and the government rules  
rsjem1979 : 12/7/2018 12:48 pm : link
In comment 14208443 Earl the goat said:
Quote:

Ok asshole. You should listen to Larry Birds story about his father

He said he watched his father put on his boots one morning to go to work with a broken ankle
His father said to him. You don’t get paid to stay home
Not that I think it should be carried to that extreme but a lot of people take advantage of the system
Larry Bird said that was the best advice he ever had and he took it with him onto the basketball court where he always suited up whether he was in pain or not

More people should have those values

So my response is that You Suck


Is that the same Larry Bird's father who was an alcoholic and committed suicide?
RE: It really is in the eye of the beholder  
bradshaw44 : 12/7/2018 12:50 pm : link
In comment 14208477 CMicks3110 said:
Quote:
So I guess it's not really anything anyone here is going to know. I just wanted to get a sense of the various opinions.

The bottom line is I am sick, i am not violently ill but I'm sick enough where i don't think I would be productive at work in any way, and now I'm a nervous wreck, which is doubly bad because I just wanted to rest.

I clearly overshared, but my intent in oversharing was to indicate that I wanted to be helpful in case there was any urgent issues. I have 6 Sick Days per Year, I used 2, so i had 4 days left. I saved my PTO days for my honeymoon. I haven't done anything I wasn't entitled to do, other than to state something that made me inadvertently look bad, because frankly, I like to please people. I thought it would make me sound more like a team player that I was willing to do stuff even though I was sick.

I got a very good mid-year review. I would hate to think that a supervisor would throw me out with the bathwater over a miscommunication.


You're fine. Don't even bring it up with your supervisor when you return. If he brings it up talk to him privately and explain yourself as you did in this post. I think you're over thinking it. Further, soliciting advise from people on an internet board is going to bring out some unsavory responses geared toward making you nervous.

Enjoy the wedding and your weekend.
RE: RE: RE: RE: This is the problem with society and the government rules  
Leg of Theismann : 12/7/2018 12:53 pm : link
In comment 14208488 rsjem1979 said:
Quote:
In comment 14208443 Earl the goat said:


Quote:



Ok asshole. You should listen to Larry Birds story about his father

He said he watched his father put on his boots one morning to go to work with a broken ankle
His father said to him. You don’t get paid to stay home
Not that I think it should be carried to that extreme but a lot of people take advantage of the system
Larry Bird said that was the best advice he ever had and he took it with him onto the basketball court where he always suited up whether he was in pain or not

More people should have those values

So my response is that You Suck



Is that the same Larry Bird's father who was an alcoholic and committed suicide?


LMAO
too many people "push through"  
PaulBlakeTSU : 12/7/2018 12:56 pm : link
and show up to the office when they are sick and spread their germs and get everyone else sick.

So many people who have to capability of working remotely should do so when they are sick.
I have a friend  
Leg of Theismann : 12/7/2018 12:57 pm : link
who will start to get a sore throat and stuffy nose when he is lacking sleep and/or good nutrition, he seems very in tune with his body. He'll say "OK I'm starting to get sick as we speak" and he'll take an airborne and sleep for 12 hours and wake up fine. Me, I'm either sick or I'm not sick, once I get sick I'm sick. I think everyone's different. Your boss it sounds like is trying to imagine your situation from his point of view and it's something foreign to him so he doesn't believe you. He sounds like a dick, quite honestly.
CMicks  
Chris684 : 12/7/2018 12:58 pm : link
All will be ok buddy.

Don't ruin your weekend over it.

What's done is done. Just bounce back from it the best way you know how.

One thing to keep in mind  
DC Gmen Fan : 12/7/2018 1:15 pm : link
other people on his team probably have done or handled something in a less than ideal way so it's not like you're the only one who has ever muffed something like this. You'll be a-ok partner. You're human.
Some interesting comments  
mgreenie03 : 12/7/2018 1:25 pm : link
Don't we all work to live and not live to work?
RE: Some interesting comments  
bigbluehoya : 12/7/2018 1:29 pm : link
In comment 14208541 mgreenie03 said:
Quote:
Don't we all work to live and not live to work?


sure, but not something you ever want to tell your boss, even though he likely feels the same way.

Points to a lack of awareness/discretion.

CMicks  
figgy2989 : 12/7/2018 1:30 pm : link
How old are you? I don't mean that in a factious way, just curious.

As most of echoed on here, you did not need to go into all the details of why you were sick or your weekend activities, I just find it odd that you would. I could never understand some people I work with who would go into great detail of their "sickness" the following day when they came in. It almost seemed like they were reading off a script. I believe you know you are in the wrong, hence coming on to a message board to poll everyone.

To be honest, you are on the job 6 months, had a great review. I would not worry about it now, because what's done is done. However, you better believe that your supervisor might look at you differently now.
RE: It really is in the eye of the beholder  
Jim in Forest Hills : 12/7/2018 1:32 pm : link
In comment 14208477 CMicks3110 said:
Quote:
I thought it would make me sound more like a team player that I was willing to do stuff even though I was sick.

I got a very good mid-year review. I would hate to think that a supervisor would throw me out with the bathwater over a miscommunication.


Only a very spiteful, immature manager would do this. If you are good at your job, work hard and produce value, your job should be safe. But writing a post like this.. people who are really good/work hard at their jobs don't write this post imo. They know they are secure.
RE: RE: I completely  
BigBlue in Keys : 12/7/2018 1:43 pm : link
In comment 14208373 pjcas18 said:
Quote:



Maybe you should start drinking. It's not like you're working.


I'd listen to him Cmick, he's in pre law.
RE: RE: Some interesting comments  
mgreenie03 : 12/7/2018 1:48 pm : link
Ive had some great bosses tell me that exact statement. Companies I have worked for, have a work/life balance. So no one has to say it, its already known. Company I work for now has unlimited PTO policy, use as needed. Would I take advantage, no way.

In comment 14208547 bigbluehoya said:
Quote:
In comment 14208541 mgreenie03 said:


Quote:


Don't we all work to live and not live to work?



sure, but not something you ever want to tell your boss, even though he likely feels the same way.

Points to a lack of awareness/discretion.
I just had to call off 3 days in a row  
Jim in Scranton : 12/7/2018 1:51 pm : link
including today. I am sick as hell, but all I said is that I need to call of because I am sick and using a PTO day. Nothing else and I really don't care if they are mad at me. We have enough coverage and maybe some people might have to work a little extra harder today, because I am not there. Never give them a reason to say No or question you. Do not give them that opportunity. All you need to say is that you are sick. They cannot ask for a reason, but yes, they can ask for a note. It's a pain to get because it drives up healthcare costs, but that's the way some assholes are.
Taking a sick day is fine  
Mike from Ohio : 12/7/2018 1:57 pm : link
Telling your boss that you want to skip work to rest up for your big weekend ahead of your two week vacation is the problem. Why would any semi-intelligent person volunteer that?

Your boss will forget it by start of next week because an employee missing a day just isn't that a big of a deal. The only reason he wrote what he did in the email is you basically flaunted taking the day off in his face.
RE: Calling in sick so you can make the wedding healthy  
GeneInCal : 12/7/2018 2:00 pm : link
In comment 14208362 Jim in Forest Hills said:
Quote:
sucks for your boss to hear quite honestly. Just an incredibly stupid and immature thing to say. Plus you have two weeks PTO coming up?

You not going on your two week trip if you feel a virus coming on? Riiiight.


I hate employees like you. No offense.

To the sh*t list, you go!
RE: RE: Calling in sick so you can make the wedding healthy  
GeneInCal : 12/7/2018 2:01 pm : link
In comment 14208586 GeneInCal said:
Quote:
In comment 14208362 Jim in Forest Hills said:


Quote:


sucks for your boss to hear quite honestly. Just an incredibly stupid and immature thing to say. Plus you have two weeks PTO coming up?

You not going on your two week trip if you feel a virus coming on? Riiiight.



I hate employees like you. No offense.

To the sh*t list, you go!


should mention that i agree with Jim.
What kind of work do you do ? How long have you been there ?  
Ron from Ninerland : 12/7/2018 2:03 pm : link
I'm just curious. As everybody here has said, just call in sick and be done with it. If there's an important call you need to be on, offer to take it and show them what a trooper you are.

That being said, I'm reading between the lines here. This sounds like you are unsure of the relationship with your boss. Aside from the written review, which means absolutely nothing how is your work life ? Are they leaning on you ? Is your work getting criticized ? Does this company have some horrible culture in which taking sick days at all is frowned upon unless you have one foot in the grave ?

The fact you even posted this tells me that you have a poor work situation. You need to ask yourself that. Long term you don't want to be in a situation where you have to ask a football board if its okay to take a sick day.
Forget about it and enjoy the weekend...  
Oskie : 12/7/2018 2:15 pm : link
Monday will be here soon enough.

I never understood why other bosses get so anal about missing a day...big effin deal, tomorrow's another day. Honestly, some people think they're their day to day work activity is life or death...guess what?...ITS NOT!

Working is just a means to the end, work to live, don't live to work!

I don't want any of my reports to come to work sick, stay home!! I don't want to get sick from you. (and to be honest, if you're not really sick, couldn't care less...as long as you don't post a picture of yourself on the beach or in the bar and someone sees it and it comes back to me)
I have been at this company for 15 months  
CMicks3110 : 12/7/2018 2:17 pm : link
I just ran the discussion by my first boss who I am very close with, and he basically said not to sweat it, it's not a big deal at all. I think i just have to communicate my dedication and explain where I was coming form. I completely blew what I intended to say.
RE: I have been at this company for 15 months  
giants#1 : 12/7/2018 2:21 pm : link
In comment 14208598 CMicks3110 said:
Quote:
I just ran the discussion by my first boss who I am very close with, and he basically said not to sweat it, it's not a big deal at all. I think i just have to communicate my dedication and explain where I was coming form. I completely blew what I intended to say.


Don't follow up and explain things. You're only going to dig a bigger hole. Just move on and learn from this and the next time you're sick, just call in sick and omit the rest of the excuse.

If you are dedicated, meet your deadlines, and exceed expectations throughout the year, no one will remember this.
You gave too much info  
Les in TO : 12/7/2018 2:21 pm : link
But your boss’ response was unnecessarily harsh

What’s done is done work hard the next week before your vacation and when you’re back and this will be a minor speed bump. But If your boss shows future examples of such snappiness you may want to brush off your CV
my company is great  
CMicks3110 : 12/7/2018 2:22 pm : link
I have loved everyone I have worked with. I have had anything really negative said about me. The culture is fantastic. I'm leaned on to a degree, but I'm still working my way up the chain, there is a steep learning curve. We're a healthcare technology company. My relationship with people have been very good. I think I literally just said the worst possible thing. I have re-read the e-mail like two dozen times now and I can see where I am off. I just shouldn't have assumed he understood my calculus for this decision as it doesn't mesh with his needs at the moment, and he was pissed.
RE: my company is great  
pjcas18 : 12/7/2018 2:31 pm : link
In comment 14208601 CMicks3110 said:
Quote:
I have loved everyone I have worked with. I have had anything really negative said about me. The culture is fantastic. I'm leaned on to a degree, but I'm still working my way up the chain, there is a steep learning curve. We're a healthcare technology company. My relationship with people have been very good. I think I literally just said the worst possible thing. I have re-read the e-mail like two dozen times now and I can see where I am off. I just shouldn't have assumed he understood my calculus for this decision as it doesn't mesh with his needs at the moment, and he was pissed.


no reason to bring math into, now you're really going to piss people off.
you know what Bluto would say  
gtt350 : 12/7/2018 2:34 pm : link
.
.  
bigbluehoya : 12/7/2018 2:35 pm : link
RE: RE: This is the problem with society and the government rules  
BillKo : 12/7/2018 2:39 pm : link
In comment 14208469 Bill in UT said:
Quote:
In comment 14208395 Earl the goat said:


Quote:


There shouldn’t be paid sick days
People take advantage all the time
If you work you get paid. If you don’t work you shouldn’t get paid



Earl, I'll jump on your bandwagon, lol. As the previous owner of a small (6 employees) business, I counted on everyone, especially myself, to be at work every day. I had 2 weeks paid vacation for everyone, but didn't guarantee any sick or personal days. I did generally pay them if they were reliable employees and called in sick, but they weren't assured of that, and it had better not become a pattern. And my people almost always showed up for work. If anyone asked about vacation or sick day policy at a job interview, I passed on them.


You passed on anyone asking about vacation time?

You may have lost some good people potentially.

People deserve (and should know beforehand) what the policy is, including sick time.

Anyone ever quit after they found about your policy? lol
RE: This is the problem with society and the government rules  
Gatorade Dunk : 12/7/2018 2:41 pm : link
In comment 14208395 Earl the goat said:
Quote:
There shouldn’t be paid sick days
People take advantage all the time
If you work you get paid. If you don’t work you shouldn’t get paid

Poor Earl isn't smart enough to have a career that includes benefits at his job. Everyone take it easy on him - it's not like he has an EAP at his disposal.
RE: my company is great  
Jim in Forest Hills : 12/7/2018 2:45 pm : link
In comment 14208601 CMicks3110 said:
Quote:
I have loved everyone I have worked with. I have had anything really negative said about me. The culture is fantastic. I'm leaned on to a degree, but I'm still working my way up the chain, there is a steep learning curve. We're a healthcare technology company. My relationship with people have been very good. I think I literally just said the worst possible thing. I have re-read the e-mail like two dozen times now and I can see where I am off. I just shouldn't have assumed he understood my calculus for this decision as it doesn't mesh with his needs at the moment, and he was pissed.


This sounds incredibly fake. You love everyone you work with just doesn't sound real, not in a big company. You are either incredibly naive or a complete pushover that's just too agreeable.

And where you are off is common sense. Nothing else. Just suck up a vitamin C tablet and work today. Really thats what should have happened. Or just called in sick without this bogus guilt laden explanation.
Everyone  
joeinpa : 12/7/2018 2:58 pm : link
Has handled a situation at work that they wished they could have a so over.

You re body of work will speak for itself
RE: Forget about it and enjoy the weekend...  
Bill L : 12/7/2018 2:58 pm : link
In comment 14208595 Oskie said:
Quote:
Monday will be here soon enough.

I never understood why other bosses get so anal about missing a day...big effin deal, tomorrow's another day. Honestly, some people think they're their day to day work activity is life or death...guess what?...ITS NOT!

Working is just a means to the end, work to live, don't live to work!

I don't want any of my reports to come to work sick, stay home!! I don't want to get sick from you. (and to be honest, if you're not really sick, couldn't care less...as long as you don't post a picture of yourself on the beach or in the bar and someone sees it and it comes back to me)


Hope you're not an ER doc.

Whatev's, if I get there I get there, if I don't no biggie.
Not a good look...  
trueblueinpw : 12/7/2018 2:59 pm : link
If you worked for me I’d put you on my “not much of a future with my team list”. For any of the reasons above, tmi, you’re gonna be out for two weeks shortly, etc, all kind of point to either poor judgement, not a lot of interest in being a top performer or yeah, being soft. It’s okay, not everyone is a + player. You probably should look for something more engaging.
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