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NFT: Looking back on 2018....

Britt in VA : 1/8/2019 11:41 am
The weatherman discussion made me think about a discussion my brother in law and I had at a wedding a couple weeks ago.... We both reflected on 2018 being a bad year personally for the family for a couple of reasons, but both mentioned something bigger and darker that we couldn't quite put our finger on in regards to 2018.

My brother in law said that he and some of his friends had had similar conversations, about how misery and negativity seemed to be beating down the door, even when you try to avoid it (like me, avoiding any of the mainstream social media where it tends to run wild) which seemed to work for many years, it just seems to permeate your personal life. That the drum is just beating so loudly that you can no longer seem to insulate yourself from it all. Does anybody else ever feel like that?

It seems harder to promote or hear about positivity. And even the positive things you hear through said social media and the like often seem fake or contrived.

Are negative thoughts and misery permeating our society, and how do we fix that? Is it fixable?

On the other hand maybe it's anecdotal and maybe just myself and a few acquaintances had a bad year?
Sorry for the deep, existential question....  
Britt in VA : 1/8/2019 11:48 am : link
on an otherwise dull Tuesday.
fear and negativity get big ratings  
oghwga : 1/8/2019 11:50 am : link
no matter what side of the aisle you're on one side tells you Trump will end the world the other side tells you that those who are against Trump are going to end the world meanwhile over on Facebook everybody posts pictures of their perfect vacations and perfect little children and their wonderful dinners out but none of them post the pictures of them scratching their ass watching TV on the couch.

Drown out the noise and engage in the positive. the world is getting better every day less people in poverty then ever before we are living longer and better.

I lead a charmed life so I am generally happy but if you think about it most of us here do as well if you look at the grand scheme of things.

Let peace and positivity rule.

I love you man.
Eli Manning Rules in 2019!  
Britt in VA : 1/8/2019 11:50 am : link
(just reading back and realizing that my post was a little brooding).
Sure. There is a sense of pessimism and negativity in the air that I  
Anakim : 1/8/2019 11:50 am : link
haven't felt since after 9/11. Some of it has to do with our current political climate (which I won't go into for obvious reasons), but I think it's mainly due to the technological boom. People have their heads buried in their phones and computers all day long. They're constantly looking to either 1) make an extra buck, even if they never get to enjoy the fruits of their labor; or 2) fill that gaping emptiness in their lives with silly, inane and mindless pleasures. Call it existential dread or whatever, but I can speak from experience. This world revolves around technology and the primal human pleasures have been replaced with artificial, non-fulfilling crap.

Britt  
dep026 : 1/8/2019 11:50 am : link
this is a great discussion. Unfortunatley, I dont think it will get too far here. We all know why....
Social media and the 24 hour news cycle  
Chris684 : 1/8/2019 11:51 am : link
both are dooming society.
to touch on that, this morning, my sister reached  
oghwga : 1/8/2019 11:55 am : link
out to offer me all of her old vinyl albums as she is cleaning house and didn't really want to part with them. (I still have a couple of hundred myself.)

I said no because who has the time to sit down and play and listen to an album? It used to be a great pleasure to read the album art, and the lyrics while listening to each song over and over. (Maybe it was the weed.)

I'm retired and I can't fathom spending the time doing it. Anakim has a point, technology is rewiring our brains.
RE: fear and negativity get big ratings  
Britt in VA : 1/8/2019 11:57 am : link
In comment 14254051 oghwga said:
Quote:
no matter what side of the aisle you're on one side tells you Trump will end the world the other side tells you that those who are against Trump are going to end the world meanwhile over on Facebook everybody posts pictures of their perfect vacations and perfect little children and their wonderful dinners out but none of them post the pictures of them scratching their ass watching TV on the couch.

Drown out the noise and engage in the positive. the world is getting better every day less people in poverty then ever before we are living longer and better.

I lead a charmed life so I am generally happy but if you think about it most of us here do as well if you look at the grand scheme of things.

Let peace and positivity rule.

I love you man.


That was one of my bro in law's main points.

I'll take your sister's vinyl!
Main points being the polar opposites....  
Britt in VA : 1/8/2019 11:58 am : link
between the negative drum beating and the facebook posting.
she's in Raleigh, NC  
oghwga : 1/8/2019 11:59 am : link
if you want to hop in the car. They should have a good home so you'll have to love them.
At least the  
rocco8112 : 1/8/2019 12:06 pm : link
Giants provide a respite where we can lose ourselves in the quality football and high level competition witnessed.

RE: At least the  
Britt in VA : 1/8/2019 12:06 pm : link
In comment 14254084 rocco8112 said:
Quote:
Giants provide a respite where we can lose ourselves in the quality football and high level competition witnessed.


Yes, there is no doubt they contributed to my misery!
I got off social media  
Chris684 : 1/8/2019 12:10 pm : link
probably around 2011-2012. I was the generation that was actually in college when facebook only in colleges.

When it opened up to everyone, the first thing I remember thinking was "how weird can this get?" and I opted to shut down and never turn back.

People think I'm weird. People assume I would have fear of missing out. I have been fine with it. Once politics heated up in 2015-2016, I considered myself lucky to not be caught in that echo chamber.
It seems beliefs and opinions  
Mike from Ohio : 1/8/2019 12:12 pm : link
have become more personalized. I don't know if it is because social media allows people with like minds to congregate and reinforce beliefs until they becomes truths for some. It seems that there is a smaller and smaller section of the populace that understands people have different views from them, and they don't have to be based on nefarious reasoning like racism or destroying society.

I think there are just too many people who never question their own infallibility and therefore have to demonize anyone they disagree with to explain why they hold different views.
Yeah, I'm not on any of that.....  
Britt in VA : 1/8/2019 12:14 pm : link
I do have a Twitter account mainly to just follow musical artists and mainly guitar related gear companies....

Also, some would say I'm hypocritical saying I don't do social media, but point out that I'm on this site which is technically social media, and that's not lost on me. I get it.

I guess I just feel like this site is a little more insulated, anonymous to a degree, but friendly because we all ultimately share the common bond of the Giants even when we disagree, it's still just about the Giants.
RE: Social media and the 24 hour news cycle  
mfsd : 1/8/2019 12:15 pm : link
In comment 14254055 Chris684 said:
Quote:
both are dooming society.


I agree they have a negative effect, but I also think itís one more and more people are waking up to. Society has a way of getting through.

IMO the world, while full of bad news of all kinds, is no worse than it always has been.

The difference is unlike the rank and file who suffered in Ancient Greece or Rome, medieval Europe, etc, we can read about every bad thing that happens all over the world immediately if we want.

Which can have a positive effect too - more and more people whoís lives existed in a sheltered cocoon are now waking up to the fact the world isnít so great for a lot of people.
I agree with what you are saying  
loafin : 1/8/2019 12:38 pm : link
Feel free to share this positive post
Link - ( New Window )
Find people habits  
Les in TO : 1/8/2019 1:12 pm : link
And activities who make you happy. I run and find that runners are the best people: giving, optimistic encouraging. My kids make me happy and spending quality time with them without my phone is an emotional deposit in both their and my bank account
Doom and gloom sells  
Boatie Warrant : 1/8/2019 1:19 pm : link
-The world is ending because of...... (insert cause here)

-It is hard to shut out the negative and keep the positive. I would speculate it has something to do with misery loves company. Having a bad day? Share your dislike, and so on.

I do not watch the news at all anymore (not that I ever did much) for the fact that most of it is negative or a reach for something positive that turns into a negative while people try to tear it down to make themselves feel better.

I wonder how many people are truly happy. Zen like in their approach to the world. The Dali Lama maybe?

My take is do what you enjoy and shut out the rest. You only live once (now if I could only follow my own advice)
RE: Find people habits  
Britt in VA : 1/8/2019 1:22 pm : link
In comment 14254225 Les in TO said:
Quote:
And activities who make you happy. I run and find that runners are the best people: giving, optimistic encouraging. My kids make me happy and spending quality time with them without my phone is an emotional deposit in both their and my bank account


Yes, and yes. I like to run (although I've gotten away from it in recent months) and spend lots of time with my kids which are the highlights of my day. I rarely look at my phone at home.
.  
Danny Kanell : 1/8/2019 1:24 pm : link
I hear you, Britt. I have learned to accept that I can only control what is within the walls of my home. I'm lucky. My kids are great kids, i've been happily married for a long time. I have a career that affords me the opportunity to provide a nice home for my family and enough left over to enjoy things (Vacations, etc).

Outside influences, politics, crazy family members, the Giants :) etc are what they are. Outside issues. I can't control any of that. I just take it in stride and do what i'm supposed to do for my wife and kids.

Life's much more enjoyable and fulfilling that way.

We went through a pretty good health scare with my 14 year old daughter late 2017. All worked out thank God but it put alot of stuff into perspective. I have found myself laughing things off this past year that in the past I would have spent way too much time and energy dwelling on.
Glad your daughter's health scare worked out.  
Britt in VA : 1/8/2019 1:27 pm : link
I'm certain that would knock anybody into proper perspective.
RE: Britt  
Blue21 : 1/8/2019 1:28 pm : link
In comment 14254054 dep026 said:
Quote:
this is a great discussion. Unfortunatley, I dont think it will get too far here. We all know why....


This
RE: Glad your daughter's health scare worked out.  
Danny Kanell : 1/8/2019 1:29 pm : link
In comment 14254247 Britt in VA said:
Quote:
I'm certain that would knock anybody into proper perspective.


Thanks. It definitely does.
I'm not on Faceboook  
RinR : 1/8/2019 1:33 pm : link
and only really follow a few folks on Twitter and Instagram but my main problem with SM are the a-holes who constantly have their heads in the phones.

Be it walking, driving and possibly the rudest, most disrespectful form: when you are actually talking to them.

Drives me up a f-ing wall.

RE: I'm not on Faceboook  
Les in TO : 1/8/2019 3:04 pm : link
In comment 14254258 RinR said:
Quote:
and only really follow a few folks on Twitter and Instagram but my main problem with SM are the a-holes who constantly have their heads in the phones.

Be it walking, driving and possibly the rudest, most disrespectful form: when you are actually talking to them.

Drives me up a f-ing wall.
I find itís more text messaging rather than social media posting when rude people are not paying attention to the person in front of them.
RE: I'm not on Faceboook  
mfsd : 1/8/2019 3:46 pm : link
In comment 14254258 RinR said:
Quote:
and only really follow a few folks on Twitter and Instagram but my main problem with SM are the a-holes who constantly have their heads in the phones.

Be it walking, driving and possibly the rudest, most disrespectful form: when you are actually talking to them.

Drives me up a f-ing wall.


This bums me out most when I see a family at a restaurant, and both mom and dad are buried in their phones while their kids are being ignored. Sadly, it's not uncommon.
I AM on Facebook,  
Photoguy : 1/8/2019 5:34 pm : link
and I don't allow or promote discussions of religion or politics. There's enough crap out there, and I don't feel I necessarily need to add to it, so I try to keep my page an island of sanity if I can. I am a photographer, so I post my pictures there, I share items of interest pertaining to food, sports, and other mundane parts of life.

I get a little tired of negativity and personal attacks here though. Some posters insist on ranting the same old rant on nearly every thread, and the game threads on the Giant and to a lesser degree, Yankee games get to the point where I have to stop reading and participating. I don't know how a lot of you feel, but it's exhausting reading them. Hell, we can't even get thru a playoff or college thread without the same people making them about Eli/Gettleman/Shurmur or Beckham.

I know exactly how you feel Britt. 2018 was a tough year for a lot of us, and it seems like there's a dark cloud hanging out there. I'm hoping for a little more kindness and sanity in 2019. Luckily I have a volunteer job that allows me to wipe everything aside for a few hours a week.

glass half empty/full?  
Dan in the Springs : 1/8/2019 5:49 pm : link
My sister insists that problems with poverty are getting worse, when most data points to the opposite. I think it's all about perspective. What informs your perspective? If you are finding it negative that seems to be a very important question to ask.

Best solution I know of is to actively practice gratitude. I think it is too easy for people to focus on what they don't have. Gratitude for what you do have is not something that comes naturally for most people. Developing the virtue of gratitude needs to be intentional. It starts by establishing habits where you practice gratitude. There are some great daily practices to learn and incorporate into your life.

Another key component to both developing gratitude is selflessness, which is developed through service to others. I think that's another virtue that has long been neglected.

We live in a time where there is not a shared set of values like there used to be, so it falls on parents to work with their children to develop these virtues. The perspectives that follow are well worth it, imo.


Britt - Funny you mention that...  
kinard : 1/8/2019 6:06 pm : link
...I felt exactly the same way. Huge transition year for me and a bunch of my friends. There are a bunch of Baby Boomers hanging onto their jobs for dear life while Millennials have transitioned into the work force with a very different style and attitude (and I don't necessarily mean that in a bad way)that caused chaos in the workplace.

In addition, the executive branch of government is so outside of the box and confrontational (again, not necessarily saying this is a bad thing - just very different) that it just added to this prevailing sense of uncertainty.

Really, let's face it. Once the Eagles won the Super Bowl you just knew this would be a shitty year.
My wife is always on my ass for being  
Dave on the UWS : 1/8/2019 6:53 pm : link
a very negative, glass half-empty person. She is a very positive glass half-full type so we look at the world in very different ways. Often, I wish I was more like her, but something always happens to make me feel very negative again. Itís the easier path, unfortunately
RE: My wife is always on my ass for being  
Britt in VA : 1/8/2019 7:11 pm : link
In comment 14254632 Dave on the UWS said:
Quote:
a very negative, glass half-empty person. She is a very positive glass half-full type so we look at the world in very different ways. Often, I wish I was more like her, but something always happens to make me feel very negative again. Itís the easier path, unfortunately


Same.
I don't want to go 'there' & I hope I'm not...  
SFGFNCGiantsFan : 1/8/2019 7:49 pm : link
But things have gotten much uglier in the last couple of years. I see it everyday.

As a news junkie, I want to obviously stay current with what's going on, but I find myself pulling back to keep my sanity. I'm not a sunshine type guy to begin, usually a glass half empty person. But one of my '19 resolutions was not to sweat the small stuff as much, relax, & enjoy life. Rome wasn't built in a day, but hopefully it will before too long.
Yeah. 2018 was THE worst year for me, personally.  
Route 9 : 1/8/2019 8:46 pm : link
If the Eagles winning the Super Bowl was the third worst thing to happen last year, it must've been a shit year.

Also, in 30 years I bet this will be paradise.
RE: glass half empty/full?  
Les in TO : 1/8/2019 9:30 pm : link
In comment 14254572 Dan in the Springs said:
Quote:
My sister insists that problems with poverty are getting worse, when most data points to the opposite. I think it's all about perspective. What informs your perspective? If you are finding it negative that seems to be a very important question to ask.

Best solution I know of is to actively practice gratitude. I think it is too easy for people to focus on what they don't have. Gratitude for what you do have is not something that comes naturally for most people. Developing the virtue of gratitude needs to be intentional. It starts by establishing habits where you practice gratitude. There are some great daily practices to learn and incorporate into your life.

Another key component to both developing gratitude is selflessness, which is developed through service to others. I think that's another virtue that has long been neglected.

We live in a time where there is not a shared set of values like there used to be, so it falls on parents to work with their children to develop these virtues. The perspectives that follow are well worth it, imo.

great post.
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