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NFT: What if you accepted a job and then....

pjcas18 : 2/8/2019 11:12 am
one of the companies you interviewed with came back to you with a "godfather" offer?

In this case, purely hypothetical, say you started the already accepted job 6 weeks ago, and you knew the timing of the decisions the two companies would make didn't line up with when you wanted to make a move and for a variety of reasons you were compelled to accept a job (if it met your criteria). But maybe hypothetically, you didn't expect to get the second job (but again their timelines didn't match up)

What would you do?

Is it unethical, immoral, a shitty thing to do, etc. to leave the job you accepted and spent 6+ weeks with and leave and accept the other job?

Let's also say that the accepted job is great, awesome company, great people, massive growth industry and the compensation is fair and if you remain there you could be very successful.

but the other job checks all those boxes too and is massively more on the compensation and more aligned to your career aspirations?

Compensation in my view shouldn't be the sole decision maker for a career/job choice but it makes a nice tiebreaker (and in the case of a godfather offer maybe even lifestyle changing).

not looking for validation for this hypothetical person's decision, just looking for opinions.
Split.  
Britt in VA : 2/8/2019 11:13 am : link
You only live once.
You owe nothing to a corporation.  
larryflower37 : 2/8/2019 11:19 am : link
You need to make decisions based on what's best for you.

I promise you any corporation would do the same to you.
.  
Britt in VA : 2/8/2019 11:21 am : link
In this hypothetical we pretend you didn't change jobs 6  
jcn56 : 2/8/2019 11:23 am : link
weeks ago, right? ;-)

6 weeks? I'd say you owe them nothing. Not like they spent months training you or getting your strategy or plan implemented and then you bolt. 6 weeks, you've barely impacted the company enough for them to be more than mildly pissed that they have to go looking for a replacement.
first whats a godfather offer?  
GMAN4LIFE : 2/8/2019 11:25 am : link
second, you owe your pocket more than any corporation

and last, money isnt the sole decision so do what makes you happy
Of course  
pjcas18 : 2/8/2019 11:27 am : link
it's not the corporation that makes it a gut wrenching decision, it's the people who valued me enough to select me from a large pool of applicants, weeded down to a less large pool of candidates, and then to a more selective group of interviewees, and then put their faith in me and selected me from that group.

I'm easy to bond with people, even in a short period of time I feel I've made those trusted connections that can form the types of relationships that last a lifetime, and I feel shitty even considering this decision, but then I think the other opportunity might literally be a life changing opportunity and I owe it to myself and my family to pursue it.

doesn't make it any less agonizing though. I struggle to come up with anything I don't like about the "accepted position".

all hypothetically.



RE: first whats a godfather offer?  
pjcas18 : 2/8/2019 11:27 am : link
In comment 14290824 GMAN4LIFE said:
Quote:
second, you owe your pocket more than any corporation

and last, money isnt the sole decision so do what makes you happy


a godfather offer is one you can't refuse. Sorry, maybe that's just my name for it.
I've been laid off twice in my life  
Eli Wilson : 2/8/2019 11:29 am : link
One time because the company eliminated my entire department and outsourced, and another because they were struggling financially and everyone that was there less than a year got the axe.

There's likely no sense of loyalty from the company side, so if there is a chance to get a dream job, or a Godfather opportunity, you go for it.
You have to do what is best for you.  
Mike from Ohio : 2/8/2019 11:29 am : link
As mentioned above, if the company that hired you lost a big contract or was somehow forced to cut staff, they would not hesitate to let you go after 6 weeks if it is what was needed.

There is the potential the person burns some bridges there and depending on the industry and level of position, that is something to consider, but mature adults should realize that people make business decisions just like companies do.
Easy decision  
The_Boss : 2/8/2019 11:35 am : link
Quit immediately. Take an expensive vacation leading up to the new job’s start date.
PJ... it sucks but it is business...  
EricJ : 2/8/2019 11:36 am : link
they will slice your throat in a moment's notice the minute they need to cut costs.
Depends which job....  
Ryan : 2/8/2019 11:37 am : link
...includes express written consent to spend the bulk of the day on BBI.
RE: Of course  
larryflower37 : 2/8/2019 11:45 am : link
In comment 14290826 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
it's not the corporation that makes it a gut wrenching decision, it's the people who valued me enough to select me from a large pool of applicants, weeded down to a less large pool of candidates, and then to a more selective group of interviewees, and then put their faith in me and selected me from that group.

I'm easy to bond with people, even in a short period of time I feel I've made those trusted connections that can form the types of relationships that last a lifetime, and I feel shitty even considering this decision, but then I think the other opportunity might literally be a life changing opportunity and I owe it to myself and my family to pursue it.

doesn't make it any less agonizing though. I struggle to come up with anything I don't like about the "accepted position".

all hypothetically.




But if something changed in the organization and they need to eliminate your position would they not do it because you just switched jobs and made a big life decision to go work for them?
Absolutely not makes the health of the company is more important than you.
Which is why you should always choose what is best for you and your family over the needs of your employer.

Work hard, be great in your role, strive for success, and be a benefit to the organization.
But understand it is a business and nothing more
Sorry typing on my phone  
larryflower37 : 2/8/2019 11:48 am : link
Absolutely not, the health of the company is more important than you
I thought you would have learned your lesson  
tbonfig : 2/8/2019 11:51 am : link
last year, Josh McDaniels.

Didn't know you were on BBI!
You take the Godfather deal  
Boatie Warrant : 2/8/2019 11:51 am : link
So a person who needs your current position can move to the job they want as well.

Win win
RE: Depends which job....  
dorgan : 2/8/2019 11:55 am : link
In comment 14290835 Ryan said:
Quote:
...includes express written consent to spend the bulk of the day on BBI.


Yes, take the other one.
My Buddy just did this last year...  
bradshaw44 : 2/8/2019 12:01 pm : link
And he was straight up honest. He had actually started working for the one company for about a month. He just went to his VP and told him the situation, said he was sorry, but this is my wife and kids future and I can't pass this opportunity up. They were ticked off but they didn't do anything to retaliate or anything like that. And my buddy was right, this is his life and his families well being. Done deal.
.  
Danny Kanell : 2/8/2019 12:06 pm : link
I honestly think this is a no brainer. Move on.
Over the past 2-3 years I've witnessed more personnel changes,  
aimrocky : 2/8/2019 12:11 pm : link
layoffs and straight firings than I've ever wanted to. Most of these changes effecting senior employees with the company. I'm an extremely loyal person, and have been with said company double digit years. I fault nobody for looking out for themselves. I would take the life changing offer.
Obviously you're not screwing over a corporation, you're  
jcn56 : 2/8/2019 12:16 pm : link
going to impact people, and people you probably like as a result of your 6 weeks there.

Unfortunately - that bond is nowhere near as strong as the financial obligation you have to yourself and your loved ones. I had the same situation happen years ago, except I hadn't started my job yet, only accepted the offer. The same day I went to pick up the offer letter, I got a better offer out of the blue from another company I had figured was a longshot and would take too long to get back to me. They ended up sweetening the deal as well, making it impossible to pass up.

The first company was pretty pissed, and the HR person there said a man is only as good as their word in an attempt to get me to change my mind. I told her this man has a wife and planned on starting a family, and I'd be doing them a disservice passing up on that much more money. The main reason you work is to provide, and if you can provide much more, hurting some feelings should not stop you from doing so.
Just be honest  
widmerseyebrow : 2/8/2019 12:18 pm : link
You got an offer that you can't refuse.
Take the better job - always.  
bw in dc : 2/8/2019 12:22 pm : link
Unless there is equity involved.

Companies understand. But take the high road and be clear and transparent with the current job. It's good politics and will leave you in some decent standing.

At the end of the day, there is no loyalty in business. Optimize your earning potential but always do with class and professionalism.

It happens  
Les in TO : 2/8/2019 12:23 pm : link
If you do leave try to give as much advance notice to your current employer to allow them extra time to find your replacement .
Thank you for all the replies  
pjcas18 : 2/8/2019 12:23 pm : link
love to hear opinions from others.
I'm sorry, your word is your word  
Stan in LA : 2/8/2019 12:24 pm : link
And if your a person who goes back on your word every time another pretty girl passes you walking down the street, I'd want no part of you.
Well, I always had my suspicions that Stan wasn't into pretty girls  
jcn56 : 2/8/2019 12:27 pm : link
NTTAWWT
Les is right...  
bw in dc : 2/8/2019 12:29 pm : link
If you can allow some time for transition - a few weeks - then that's a good gesture as well.

The company you are leaving should still have a list of candidates, from the search that landed you, to go back to...
Take the job you want more.  
Heisenberg : 2/8/2019 12:30 pm : link
If that's the better job for you and your family then that's the job you take. You get one career.
RE: I'm sorry, your word is your word  
Les in TO : 2/8/2019 12:34 pm : link
In comment 14290902 Stan in LA said:
Quote:
And if your a person who goes back on your word every time another pretty girl passes you walking down the street, I'd want no part of you.
So employees can never leave a company to take a better job elsewhere? Should employers never be allowed to restructure or change the roles of a job?
.  
MOOPS : 2/8/2019 12:36 pm : link


Quit  
give66 : 2/8/2019 12:56 pm : link
Tell them it was just business and you always like them.
So if you leave you need to consider  
BigBlueDownTheShore : 2/8/2019 1:01 pm : link
that you will probably never be able to work there ever again. That is going to be the case no matter how nice the break up ends up being.

Did you get this job through a recruiter, the chances are you are screwing him over simply because they work on a draw, and don't even see any money from placing you until you have made it 60 to 90 days. On the flipside, if the recruiter got you the second job, there is "no harm no foul" there. The recruiter is getting paid more on the bigger deal.

The only point being there is, you could really burn that relationship too, as you never know when you could use that person's services in the future.

Just some food for thought.
Take the other job  
Scyber : 2/8/2019 1:06 pm : link
Be honest and straightforward. As long as it was not a situation where you took the current job while fully intending to leave then I don't see anything wrong with it.

I once took a new job quickly b/c I was let go unexpectedly. I quickly realized I settled and that this job was not a fit for me (long commute, non promising technologies, & the advancement path consisted of roles that everyone in the company told me not to take). I was job hunting again within weeks and had a new job a few weeks later. I was only at the job for about 8 weeks. I felt kinda bad, but the job was not a fit for me. The manager and the contracting firm I was subcontracting with were pissed, but I have to do what is best for me and my family.
Do what is right for you  
AcesUp : 2/8/2019 1:11 pm : link
I wouldn't be concerned with "what's loyal and ethical" when considering how large companies treat talent, however I would consider the consequences to yourself. Is it a small industry will others know that you bailed on a position after only 6 weeks to accept a better offer? That's the type of thing that can cost you a job in the future.
I've had two companies give me verbal offers  
MetsAreBack : 2/8/2019 1:17 pm : link
ask for comp details (vesting schedule, etc), talk about onboarding...

then the 4Q stock market happened and they ended up giving the jobs to internal candidates.

Fuck companies - they wouldnt think twice to fire you to meet analyst expectations in a given quarter.

With that said, you do have to factor in that by leaving the company currently with you will be blackballed from there forever and the networking may come back to bite, etc....
WE ARE ALL FREE AGENTS...  
x meadowlander : 2/8/2019 1:18 pm : link
...nobody owns you. If you get a better offer, you can give the current employer an opportunity to match.

My wife once took a position at my facility, working for a defense contractor.

On her first day - FIRST DAY, an offer came in from a hospital she also applied to, for about 10 grand more - she gave the contractor the opportunity to match. They wouldn't budge, and she walked.

Of course, that certainly burned a bridge or two, but we've never regretted that decision.
Do what is right for you. Companies do what is right for them.  
Blue21 : 2/8/2019 1:18 pm : link
Think of yourself as your own company. I once accepted an offer from another company and got as far as even taking the piss test. The company was happy as hell to get me. And I had nothing but respect for them. They made me a nice offer. Well my present company came back with a "Godfather " offer. Yes I thought to myself why didn't they come up with is before? But I had to think about myself and my family. I stayed and was happy as hell I did. Not the same as your hypothetical circumstance but still similar in a lot of ways.
RE: Do what is right for you. Companies do what is right for them.  
BigBlueDownTheShore : 2/8/2019 1:21 pm : link
In comment 14290969 Blue21 said:
Quote:
Think of yourself as your own company. I once accepted an offer from another company and got as far as even taking the piss test. The company was happy as hell to get me. And I had nothing but respect for them. They made me a nice offer. Well my present company came back with a "Godfather " offer. Yes I thought to myself why didn't they come up with is before? But I had to think about myself and my family. I stayed and was happy as hell I did. Not the same as your hypothetical circumstance but still similar in a lot of ways.


You are lucky. Most people who accept counter offers are back on the market 6 months later because they basically held their current employers up for ransom, and put a huge bullseye on the back of their heads.

Consider yourself really lucky.
As a business owner of 3 small businesses  
Jesse B : 2/8/2019 1:21 pm : link
I'd say, bounce! Go get paid.

But like you said take a look at the life work balance but if the workload is simila but way the pay is you'll make good new friends and everything else.
When the going gets tough, companies think NOTHING of showing...  
x meadowlander : 2/8/2019 1:25 pm : link
...you the door. ESPECIALLY if, God forbid, you're over 50!

Once hired, very common for companies to constantly cry poverty, giving annual increases barely over cost of living. Employee compensation has been in decline for a generation - pensions virtually GONE, other bennies and perks are nothing like those of the last generation.

Life and your career are short. Make it count. In todays world, it is wise to gain promotion or change employers every 5-10 years - it's the only way to get those substantial pay increases.
So the consensus is...  
Face Pepler : 2/8/2019 1:26 pm : link
...that since companies don't care about you, there is no need to have any personal morality at work?

How far does this go?

Since the company doesn't care about you, is it okay to steal from them?
A person or organization would have to  
phil in arizona : 2/8/2019 2:23 pm : link
be pretty vindictive to blackball you forever for doing something that any reasonable person would do.
RE: So the consensus is...  
YAJ2112 : 2/8/2019 2:25 pm : link
In comment 14290978 Face Pepler said:
Quote:
...that since companies don't care about you, there is no need to have any personal morality at work?

How far does this go?

Since the company doesn't care about you, is it okay to steal from them?


Companies are not living things, so they have no morality either way.

Stealing is illegal, so no that is not okay.

Leaving the company you work for that you have no legal obligation to stay at is perfectly fine.
RE: So the consensus is...  
x meadowlander : 2/8/2019 2:27 pm : link
In comment 14290978 Face Pepler said:
Quote:
...that since companies don't care about you, there is no need to have any personal morality at work?

How far does this go?

Since the company doesn't care about you, is it okay to steal from them?
My father and I and 140 coworkers were shown the door so our employer could move to Brooklyn to a facility where they didn't have to hire anyone from our Union.

When I worked at the defense contractor I mentioned earlier, they cut 15% of their workforce in a down economy, mostly comprised of people in their 50's.

At the facility I'm currently at, the company cut hundreds of positions in a GOOD year, again, mostly in their 50's.

If you don't look out for number one and your family, you're a sucker just waiting for the axe to fall.

Don't get me wrong - there are exceptions to every rule. Not every company is run by Ebeneezer Fucking Scrooge - but most are.
RE: Split.  
djm : 2/8/2019 2:33 pm : link
In comment 14290806 Britt in VA said:
Quote:
You only live once.


Seconded. Companies don’t think twice about their bottom line, nor should you. Just don’t burn any bridges and give ample notice.
RE: A person or organization would have to  
BigBlueDownTheShore : 2/8/2019 2:36 pm : link
In comment 14291052 phil in arizona said:
Quote:
be pretty vindictive to blackball you forever for doing something that any reasonable person would do.


What I meant is you have to act like your never going back to that place when making that decision. That door will be shut.

Sure there are acceptions, but once you break that trust, it's really tough to come back. Not impossible.

I would also like to think if your jumping ship, there are reasons you would be doing so that wouldn't make you think twice about doing so.
Always do what's best for you and your family and Brett.  
BrettNYG10 : 2/8/2019 2:43 pm : link
.
RE: A person or organization would have to  
AcesUp : 2/8/2019 2:53 pm : link
In comment 14291052 phil in arizona said:
Quote:
be pretty vindictive to blackball you forever for doing something that any reasonable person would do.


It's not really that you're marked with a Scarlet Letter but a flaky rep is very damaging to a candidate in a job search. Depends greatly on the rest of the work history but if there's a pattern of job hopping or inconsistent work history, this type of move can be an exclamation point for a future hiring manager. I wouldn't have it be the decider but it's a factor that needs to be considered.
RE: RE: I'm sorry, your word is your word  
speedywheels : 2/8/2019 2:55 pm : link
In comment 14290916 Les in TO said:
Quote:
In comment 14290902 Stan in LA said:


Quote:


And if your a person who goes back on your word every time another pretty girl passes you walking down the street, I'd want no part of you.

So employees can never leave a company to take a better job elsewhere? Should employers never be allowed to restructure or change the roles of a job?


It's Stan - did you expect anything less?
I am in the minority  
Archer : 2/8/2019 3:21 pm : link
Once I accepted a position I would stay with that company for an agreed period of time

The grass always looks better in your neighbors yard

Where does it end ?
So you leave the first company and after you are there for two months you get another better offer ? What do you do then ?
What happens if the new opportunity is not what it seemed to be and you ended up leaving what was actually a better position?
You should have confidence in your capabilities and make the best of any opportunity. You will benefit from the relationships and experience you gain and either stay with the company or move to an even better possition
RE: So the consensus is...  
Les in TO : 2/8/2019 3:30 pm : link
In comment 14290978 Face Pepler said:
Quote:
...that since companies don't care about you, there is no need to have any personal morality at work?

How far does this go?

Since the company doesn't care about you, is it okay to steal from them?
leaving a job for another job is not immoral.
Look out for yourself.  
Mr. Bungle : 2/8/2019 3:31 pm : link
Because nobody else will.
RE: A person or organization would have to  
jcn56 : 2/8/2019 3:38 pm : link
In comment 14291052 phil in arizona said:
Quote:
be pretty vindictive to blackball you forever for doing something that any reasonable person would do.


I don't know if it is vindictive necessarily as much as it is to protect themselves of a repeat.

In my case, I backed out after accepting an offer letter (not starting the job), and the headhunter immediately called me to let me know I was on their list of 'banned' candidates, that I'd never get a job listed through them.

So far, it's had absolutely no effect on me. Unless you do something really specialized, being blacklisted or banned from an organization or two doesn't do that much to limit your career mobility.
This was in some ways worse  
pjcas18 : 2/8/2019 3:53 pm : link
than a recruiter, it was a personal friend who referred me direct to internal recruiters and he stands to get an employee referral bonus if/after I'm there 90 days.

He's not a close personal friend, but close enough we have stayed in contact trough the year since we last worked together 15 years ago.

I'm sure he'd understand and I might even do something to help make up for his financial loss, but it's the reputational hit, if there is one he takes for referring me I'd be more worried about.

doesn't change what I'd do, but makes me consider the impact to everyone of my decision.
My Grandmother always said "Don't shit where you eat"...  
x meadowlander : 2/8/2019 3:56 pm : link
...yeah, she was a peach.

So no - don't commit crimes or be a disgusting fool at work.

That's different than taking a better job - backing out of a job offer or accepting what you believe to be a better opportunity for yourself is NOT immoral!


RE: This was in some ways worse  
BigBlueDownTheShore : 2/8/2019 3:58 pm : link
In comment 14291145 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
than a recruiter, it was a personal friend who referred me direct to internal recruiters and he stands to get an employee referral bonus if/after I'm there 90 days.

He's not a close personal friend, but close enough we have stayed in contact trough the year since we last worked together 15 years ago.

I'm sure he'd understand and I might even do something to help make up for his financial loss, but it's the reputational hit, if there is one he takes for referring me I'd be more worried about.

doesn't change what I'd do, but makes me consider the impact to everyone of my decision.


Try to get him in where you are going. I'm sure he would appreciate that gesture.
RE: So the consensus is...  
steve in ky : 2/8/2019 4:00 pm : link
In comment 14290978 Face Pepler said:
Quote:
...that since companies don't care about you, there is no need to have any personal morality at work?

How far does this go?

Since the company doesn't care about you, is it okay to steal from them?


I'm curious. What do you do for a living that you associate a person leaving a job for a better opportunity with that of someone stealing from the company they worked for?

I have had multiple businesses and employed countless people over the years and I while it may have been stressful to deal with (a good employee unexpectedly leaving)I never begrudged someone for leaving to better themselves. Yet I despised anyone I ever caught stealing from me.
RE: RE: This was in some ways worse  
pjcas18 : 2/8/2019 4:05 pm : link
In comment 14291148 BigBlueDownTheShore said:
Quote:
In comment 14291145 pjcas18 said:


Quote:


than a recruiter, it was a personal friend who referred me direct to internal recruiters and he stands to get an employee referral bonus if/after I'm there 90 days.

He's not a close personal friend, but close enough we have stayed in contact trough the year since we last worked together 15 years ago.

I'm sure he'd understand and I might even do something to help make up for his financial loss, but it's the reputational hit, if there is one he takes for referring me I'd be more worried about.

doesn't change what I'd do, but makes me consider the impact to everyone of my decision.



Try to get him in where you are going. I'm sure he would appreciate that gesture.



Not a bad idea, one of the first things I thought about with this role was building the team, I'll have to hire quite a few people over the next year.
RE: RE: So the consensus is...  
x meadowlander : 2/8/2019 4:05 pm : link
In comment 14291150 steve in ky said:
Quote:
In comment 14290978 Face Pepler said:


Quote:


...that since companies don't care about you, there is no need to have any personal morality at work?

How far does this go?

Since the company doesn't care about you, is it okay to steal from them?



I'm curious. What do you do for a living that you associate a person leaving a job for a better opportunity with that of someone stealing from the company they worked for?

I have had multiple businesses and employed countless people over the years and I while it may have been stressful to deal with (a good employee unexpectedly leaving)I never begrudged someone for leaving to better themselves. Yet I despised anyone I ever caught stealing from me.
It's a slippery slope man, one minute you're accepting a job offer from a competitor, the next, you're heisting the office safe?

HOW LOW WILL YOU GO? RAPE? MURDER? TEARING THE TAGS OFF MATTRESSES????
Conduct yourself, in an honest and honorable way,  
GiantsUA : 2/8/2019 4:08 pm : link
but, you owe them nothing, the world is full of people who gave a company their all, and were handed a pink slip.
RE: RE: RE: This was in some ways worse  
BigBlueDownTheShore : 2/8/2019 4:09 pm : link
In comment 14291153 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
In comment 14291148 BigBlueDownTheShore said:


Quote:


In comment 14291145 pjcas18 said:


Quote:


than a recruiter, it was a personal friend who referred me direct to internal recruiters and he stands to get an employee referral bonus if/after I'm there 90 days.

He's not a close personal friend, but close enough we have stayed in contact trough the year since we last worked together 15 years ago.

I'm sure he'd understand and I might even do something to help make up for his financial loss, but it's the reputational hit, if there is one he takes for referring me I'd be more worried about.

doesn't change what I'd do, but makes me consider the impact to everyone of my decision.



Try to get him in where you are going. I'm sure he would appreciate that gesture.




Not a bad idea, one of the first things I thought about with this role was building the team, I'll have to hire quite a few people over the next year.


The day you put in notice, give him specifically a heads up. Tell him how you appreciate it, and that if he wants you can try to get him on where you are headed as you are building a team out. The would keep that bridge up, especially if you can get him a godfather deal too.
RE: RE: RE: So the consensus is...  
steve in ky : 2/8/2019 4:09 pm : link
In comment 14291154 x meadowlander said:
Quote:
In comment 14291150 steve in ky said:


Quote:


In comment 14290978 Face Pepler said:


Quote:


...that since companies don't care about you, there is no need to have any personal morality at work?

How far does this go?

Since the company doesn't care about you, is it okay to steal from them?



I'm curious. What do you do for a living that you associate a person leaving a job for a better opportunity with that of someone stealing from the company they worked for?

I have had multiple businesses and employed countless people over the years and I while it may have been stressful to deal with (a good employee unexpectedly leaving)I never begrudged someone for leaving to better themselves. Yet I despised anyone I ever caught stealing from me.

It's a slippery slope man, one minute you're accepting a job offer from a competitor, the next, you're heisting the office safe?

HOW LOW WILL YOU GO? RAPE? MURDER? TEARING THE TAGS OFF MATTRESSES????


LOL, yeah leaving a job for another; the gateway to a life of crime.
Yes you should feel 'bad' about it, and I don't agree with everyone's  
Mike in Long Beach : 2/8/2019 4:11 pm : link
cavalier attitude about it. There are still human beings you made a commitment to within that corporation, so yeah I think it should be a morally challenging decision. But yes, at the end of the day you have to do what's best for you. The same way a boss may feel terribly awful about laying you off, but they'll still do it. It's OK to be human about it but also smart about it.
Take the better deal and don't look back  
VTDAD : 2/8/2019 4:12 pm : link
There is no loyalty in the private or non-profit world.

Spent 30+ years busting my ass for the same public school. Retired with over 250 accumulated sick/personal days. Countless hours of unpaid time.

No public acknowledgement, no handshake... nothing. No regrets for anything I did for the kids or my colleagues.

Accept that you are expendable and do what's in your best interest.

RE: Yes you should feel 'bad' about it, and I don't agree with everyone's  
x meadowlander : 2/8/2019 4:25 pm : link
In comment 14291159 Mike in Long Beach said:
Quote:
cavalier attitude about it. There are still human beings you made a commitment to within that corporation, so yeah I think it should be a morally challenging decision. But yes, at the end of the day you have to do what's best for you. The same way a boss may feel terribly awful about laying you off, but they'll still do it. It's OK to be human about it but also smart about it.
It isn't cavalier - look, taking nearly ANY new job is a risk. More money or hours or the Godfather doesn't mean you're gonna love it.

We weigh the pro's and cons, and it's nearly ALWAYS a bit of a blindfolded leap.

We're talking about what we get to do with most of our waking hours. Having regrets over passing on a better opportunity soley out of loyalty is just... sad.

If it's a company that has done right by you, you can help make their transition easier in many cases, working in a consulting role part time or by other means, but you've got to do right by yourself first.
RE: Yes you should feel 'bad' about it, and I don't agree with everyone's  
Les in TO : 2/8/2019 4:38 pm : link
In comment 14291159 Mike in Long Beach said:
Quote:
cavalier attitude about it. There are still human beings you made a commitment to within that corporation, so yeah I think it should be a morally challenging decision. But yes, at the end of the day you have to do what's best for you. The same way a boss may feel terribly awful about laying you off, but they'll still do it. It's OK to be human about it but also smart about it.


It's like agreeing to go steady with a girl, but then breaking up with her because a more attractive one you were also interested in around the same time but who was not available suddenly reached out. Sure, there may be feelings of guilt in dumping his girlfriend, no one wants to let someone else down, but it doesn't make it "immoral".

In this case, as long as he gives decent advance notice to his current company and isn't in violation of any contractual commitment for a certain term there is absolutely nothing immoral about this.

In an ideal world, when he had the job offer from his current company, before accepting he could have put some pressure on the desired company by saying he has an offer on the table from another company. Maybe then he gets the job with his desired company right away, which is a more elegant and cleaner move. Timing of the hiring processes doesn't always work that way.
I think you take the new offer....  
BillKo : 2/8/2019 4:46 pm : link
....but just be sure this unreal offer is in fact, stable.

If they pull the plug on the job after a year, and you still could have been at your other job you might regret it.

There's always that risk when you take a new job when you currently at a good place.

Ya only live once.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.  
mattlawson : 2/8/2019 5:24 pm : link
Plus, people get fired all the time. Business happens
Go, take it  
lugnut : 2/8/2019 5:36 pm : link
You work for yourself first, a company (or whatever) second. As someone straight-up fired once and laid off once, I tell you your employer and your boss are not your friends. They would fire you if it made them more money.
RE: RE: Do what is right for you. Companies do what is right for them.  
Blue21 : 2/8/2019 6:02 pm : link
In comment 14290972 BigBlueDownTheShore said:
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In comment 14290969 Blue21 said:


Quote:


Think of yourself as your own company. I once accepted an offer from another company and got as far as even taking the piss test. The company was happy as hell to get me. And I had nothing but respect for them. They made me a nice offer. Well my present company came back with a "Godfather " offer. Yes I thought to myself why didn't they come up with this before? But I had to think about myself and my family. I stayed and was happy as hell I did. Not the same as your hypothetical circumstance but still similar in a lot of ways.



You are lucky. Most people who accept counter offers are back on the market 6 months later because they basically held their current employers up for ransom, and put a huge bullseye on the back of their heads.

Consider yourself really lucky.


Big Blue,I never put the present company up for ransom. I gave my notice with respect and they were going to have me work my notice days which is unusual in sales if you're going to a competitor. I was with the company over 25 years and was one of the top salemen. Not trying to be arrogant but just stating the circumstances.They were selling the company to new owners and a few companies came calling. I figured I should talk to at least one of them. Which was when I accepted the offer. I never used either company for ransom. I didn't want to do that. Another note the company that was being sold had previously given me a handshake notice if they were ever going to sell they would let me know. They didn't do that. I found out on my own. Again the company was concerned about themselves and was doing what they felt was good for them. I gave a clean notice and expected to leave.The new company knew me very well personally and professionally. They had been in the past a customer of mine. They didn't want me to move somewhere else. Keep in mind I made the original company a lot of money so the company they were selling to wanted obviously for their own selfish reasons me to stay on board. The "Godfather" offer was put in writing. At that point again I knew the people well, trusted them and had things in writing so I stayed. I know they considered themselves very luck. I again made them a lot of money. Yes I was lucky that I made the right decision. But would they have given me the "Godfather" offer if I didn't do what I did? Absolutely not. The "Godfather" money would have been in the pockets of the new owners. It's part of business. In sales obviously $ is what counts for both employer and employee. On another note if it went bad I knew I had other options to go to other places that had been calling me. I was never worried. Probably not the same circumstances as pjcas, I don't know. I have since retired 12 years later and the "new " company gave me a tremendous retirement party which I will be forever grateful for. It was business for both parties at the time and they understood.Everything is a chance but I still stand by what I said to pjcas with what little I know about his situation.
you go to your employer  
lightemup : 2/8/2019 7:25 pm : link
and tell them your offer and see if they"ll match, if not you leave and take the offer
This thread has a lot of good  
pjcas18 : 2/8/2019 7:44 pm : link
posts and good advice, I debated starting it because it does reveal a certain amount of personal info, even tough anonymous, that I normally prefer not to share.

So, thank you to everyone who took the time to reply.

RE: This thread has a lot of good  
pjcas18 : 2/8/2019 7:44 pm : link
In comment 14291288 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
posts and good advice, I debated starting it because it does reveal a certain amount of personal info, even tough anonymous, that I normally prefer not to share.

So, thank you to everyone who took the time to reply.


*though not tough
You leave and take the other job. Case closed.  
Jimmy Googs : 2/8/2019 8:10 pm : link
But boy... you damn well better be right about it being the the right job for you.
I did this  
Pete in MD : 2/9/2019 9:40 am : link
after about four months at one job. I was already fully-trained and out on my own but the new job was just too good to pass up. I explained the situation to my employer at the time, they weren't happy but understood. My boss straight-out said that there was no way she could match the offer. To this day, I have zero regrets.
jmo but you pick the best situation for yourself to succeed  
Eric on Li : 2/9/2019 9:58 am : link
where you yourself succeed the company in theory has more success too. It's not selfish, it's mutually beneficial.

If it were me the biggest parts of that calculation would be the fit with the people/culture, the role, and the outlook for the actual companies themselves - when the company is growing there's wind in the sales and everyone is succeeding to some degree and vice versa when it's contracting. Of the 3 I'd say the specific role is least important because if you do a good job in the right environment with the right people that can get recognized and change quickly. Good people/culture are probably most important to me. Compensation matters but 10-20% differences are also kind of an illusion because unless it's guaranteed it can always be impacted by outside events out of your control. Layoffs, market shifts, etc. If you get 10-20% more in a worse environment maybe bonuses don't pay out as high or it doesn't have the opportunity for growth in future years, or you get passed over. I'd take a little less to play for Barry Trotz.

In the wrong environment, with the wrong people, it's hard to win. Like working for the Wilpons.
Love the analogy Eric  
pjcas18 : 2/9/2019 10:45 am : link
and I fully agree with you. I've worked at some places that make it really hard to be successful.

In my case now I feel pretty blessed, both of these opportunities are great companies.

The one I'm at now I didn't know that well, but I knew a bunch of people here. No one would say anything bad about the company (even off the record) it seemed eerily cultish, but 6 weeks in, seems completely legit and such a good company - good leadership, great people, great products (best I've worked with), great culture, just a great company.

the other job that I'd likely take is a company I've worked with as a partner of my other employers for years and they are very well known, and very well regarded and I know many people there.

again, I appreciate all the replies and a lot of the advice and posts are helpful.
Better make sure you stay at the new job for a good long time  
PatersonPlank : 2/9/2019 10:57 am : link
then it will be meaningless that you accepted an offer and quit quickly. However if you're looking again in a year it will set off red flags. Also just know you can't work for that company again
Actually, I would stay a year and then reevaluate  
trueblueinpw : 2/9/2019 1:12 pm : link
I think it’s less than ideal professional conduct to quit without one year on a job. While I certainly agree with those who say most companies couldn’t care less about employees in this day and age, my concern would be about going to company trying to poach someone who just started at another position. Says something about the company values and business practices. Unless the place you’re at (hypothetically) is really bad, I’d give it a year and then reevaluate.
RE: Love the analogy Eric  
Eric on Li : 2/9/2019 4:19 pm : link
In comment 14291548 pjcas18 said:
Quote:
and I fully agree with you. I've worked at some places that make it really hard to be successful.

In my case now I feel pretty blessed, both of these opportunities are great companies.

The one I'm at now I didn't know that well, but I knew a bunch of people here. No one would say anything bad about the company (even off the record) it seemed eerily cultish, but 6 weeks in, seems completely legit and such a good company - good leadership, great people, great products (best I've worked with), great culture, just a great company.

the other job that I'd likely take is a company I've worked with as a partner of my other employers for years and they are very well known, and very well regarded and I know many people there.

again, I appreciate all the replies and a lot of the advice and posts are helpful.


this may sound contradictory to my previous post, but if the place you're at has lived up to the hype and is that good in terms of people/environment, and on top of that the products are great (which would in theory seem like a company on the right track to grow) - I think i'd stay there. Bird in the hand. In my experience great people and great cultures are very hard to find so even if the rep is good at the other place too, not sure I'd be willing to roll those dice.
RE: RE: Love the analogy Eric  
pjcas18 : 2/9/2019 5:05 pm : link
In comment 14291763 Eric on Li said:
Quote:
In comment 14291548 pjcas18 said:


Quote:


and I fully agree with you. I've worked at some places that make it really hard to be successful.

In my case now I feel pretty blessed, both of these opportunities are great companies.

The one I'm at now I didn't know that well, but I knew a bunch of people here. No one would say anything bad about the company (even off the record) it seemed eerily cultish, but 6 weeks in, seems completely legit and such a good company - good leadership, great people, great products (best I've worked with), great culture, just a great company.

the other job that I'd likely take is a company I've worked with as a partner of my other employers for years and they are very well known, and very well regarded and I know many people there.

again, I appreciate all the replies and a lot of the advice and posts are helpful.



this may sound contradictory to my previous post, but if the place you're at has lived up to the hype and is that good in terms of people/environment, and on top of that the products are great (which would in theory seem like a company on the right track to grow) - I think i'd stay there. Bird in the hand. In my experience great people and great cultures are very hard to find so even if the rep is good at the other place too, not sure I'd be willing to roll those dice.


that's why this isn't such a no-brainer to me.

The company I'm at now is like a rocket ship, with no end in site. Without revealing more than I want to, it's one of the most innovative companies on the globe right now and not in an area where I had previous subject matter expertise, so it will expand my capabilities and make me more attractive for future roles.

but...the other company, who is annually recognized as one of the best places to work, I know them well from working with them over the years, and the role is more senior (and the pay is in another stratosphere) so it also prepares me for the future.

it's a gut wrenching decision, but I appreciate the feedback my wife is very little help. She says to pick with the one who has the least travel so I can have a work life balance, and be home to coach my youngest's hockey team more reliably, nothing about career future or compensation, mostly about work/life balance, which is important to me, but lower on the list. I should probably listen to her.
if they're both great opps then I agree with that  
Eric on Li : 2/9/2019 5:41 pm : link
but i hate traveling for work too so that may be me injecting a personal bias. I guess another way to say it is that I think it's valid to incorporate your own preferences of what truly frustrates you in the equation - that kind of goes into role/fit. If there's more of an element you loathe over a period of several years that's not an insignificant drawback.

Without knowing which opp has more travel, there might even be a way to end up having your cake and eating it too. If there's less travel with the other company and you decided to go for that, that would be a perfectly understandable reason when your current company asks why your making the change and perhaps they would be willing to alleviate some of the travel you currently have to entice you to stay. (i think you know this but ill say it anyway cause it's the internet, but you obviously wouldn't accept the new offer planning for this to happen, just throwing out that it's always a possibility. I've seen people offered 4 day work weeks and other things of that sort to entice them to stay that nobody would have thought to even ask for prior. if you have an exceptional boss you really trust before accepting you could also talk it through - though you really need to toe the line of not appearing to just be a negotiating opportunist and feel confident you know the psychology of the boss well enough to predict they won't take it personally or get offended.)
btw vice versa, if the new offer would have more travel  
Eric on Li : 2/9/2019 5:46 pm : link
that would seem very easy to throw out there pretty openly to see if there'd be flexibility. "really appreciate the offer, but ultimately i just cant increase my travel right now".
I was in this situation about 20 years ago  
Chris in LA : 2/10/2019 12:53 am : link
I was between college and grad school, and had two offers from great places. My top choice dragged its feet, and I had to accept the other offer. A few days later, before I started with my second choice, my first choice gave me an offer.

It was a very difficult decision. I’m a loyal person and my word means something. But I had this very strong feeling about my top choice, so I reneged on my acceptance and took the offer for the job I really wanted.

Later that year I met my wife and mother of my amazing son through that job. Not a day goes by that I don’t thank my lucky stars I did what I did. That other company made out just fine without me.

Do what is right by you.
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