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NFT: Need Help - Suburbanite : A Cubed Hog : 10/27/04 11:03 AM
I need your help, and this is not a joke, although I can see where the humor does enter the situation. Do you know anything about ferrets? My wife and I are babysitting our 9-month-old nephew until Sunday night. While he was on the floor mat being changed, the ferret took a little nip out of his penis? We really don't want to have to tell my sister and brother-in-law what happened, but of course we know we must. My question for you is, should we bring the baby to the emergency room? The ferret isn't rabid, or at least we're reasonably sure he isn't. I'm not kidding and would really appreciate your help. Thanks.
Follow up comments...
I can't resist: : manh george : 10/27/04 11:06 AM
Clearly, this animal is a member of the rare ferretmohel subspecies. This is only dangerous if you do not follow up with an Orthdox Rabbi.
My first piece of advice is : cjac : 10/27/04 11:06 AM
you should tell your sister. My second would be to put the friggin ferret in a cage or some kind of restraint when a baby is on the floor.
by the way : cjac : 10/27/04 11:07 AM
did this just happen? take the kid to a doctor
Not at all : Don : 10/27/04 11:08 AM
I had one for years (I'm sure he was playing with the baby, the nip wasn't meant to be mean). Ferrets don't carry disease and I'm pretty certain they need to have all their shots before leaving a pet store. I Imagine u noticed how they like to crap in corners
Not Suburbanite But : thevett : 10/27/04 11:08 AM
You better fess up immeadiately, and get the child to medical care as all animals carry mouth bacteria
We had a ferret for years : BigBlue26 : 10/27/04 11:13 AM
They are actually very clean animals. Did the bite break the skin? I'd tell the parents just so they can watch for infection just in case. I woulnd't freak out over it.
Oh my... : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 11:16 AM
This is going to take all of my willpower to back away from...
Make sure to wash the ferret's mouth out with anti-bacterial agents and it might help to calm the baby by putting on a copy of Zappa's "weasels ripped my flesh".
"Reasonably sure" that the ferret is rabid : Some Fan : 10/27/04 11:17 AM
wouldn't be good enuf for me with someone's life. Rabies will KILL 100% of the time unless the medication is given soon after the bite. I'd get the ferret checked, which means he may have to go to the farm.
And : Pork Chop : 10/27/04 11:17 AM
please resist the notion that you are capable of caring for children in the future. If you put my 9 month old on the floor with a rodent, I would call the cops and Child Protection.
Randy & cjac : fast eddie : 10/27/04 11:25 AM
the best manufactured comedy in the world would pale in comparison to this gem. I'm sorry but this thread is cracking me up.
Uh! : TonyT : 10/27/04 11:26 AM
Why in the world did you come to BBI for advice on how to handle this matter? Do you take your car problems to a chiropractor?
m-g: About your rather unusual sense of humor -- [grin]
Oh my goodness, the ferrett just bit the baby : cjac : 10/27/04 11:29 AM
Dont worry honey, i'll go ask a bunch of anonymous strangers on a football internet website, they'll know what to do
I agree with Some Fan : Paul from Queens : 10/27/04 11:29 AM
Check the rat out to make sure he does not have rabies. It's not worth a child's life no matter how small the chances are.
Ahem.. : Davisian : 10/27/04 11:29 AM
.... Nope.. Can't do it..
Davis clan dude : fast eddie : 10/27/04 11:31 AM
come on, get it over with.
Note to fast eddie, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 11:34 AM
this is the proper way to get the comedy ball rolling on BBI.
Alright.. : Davisian : 10/27/04 11:34 AM
If the Ferrett is Male, he must be destroyed. Forget Rabies, I hope the poor child doesn't catch "The Gay."
weaselis : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 11:35 AM
Bobbiticus.
Think of the 1940's horror story potential here. : manh george : 10/27/04 11:37 AM
Rather than being bitten by a wolf and turned into a werewolf, our hero, played by Lon Chaney Jr., is bitten on the penis by a ferret as an infant, and turned into.....what?
Randy? : Stu : 10/27/04 11:38 AM
.
Someone who grows up : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 11:38 AM
to be afraid of oral sex?
manh : cjac : 10/27/04 11:39 AM
the first thing i could think of was that disturbing scene in Total Recall with "Kuato"
He turned into : Big Al : 10/27/04 11:40 AM
Ron Jeramy.
Ferratio : Davisian : 10/27/04 11:40 AM
Figting crime across America.
If this is a serious question... : FatMan in Charlotte : 10/27/04 11:41 AM
why would you ask a pet store owner what to do? Shouldn't you be asking a vet or a doctor??
Am I missing something, like an idiot gene?
I did get : Big Al : 10/27/04 11:42 AM
good advice on BBI when I cut my arm off in the shredder while suffering through a hemmorhoids attack.
Excellent : Jon T : 10/27/04 11:43 AM
point Fat man..
FMiC, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 11:43 AM
You aren't considering the possibility that Suburbanite was molested by roving gangs of penis-hungry weasels as a child and might have some insight as to what course of action to take.
Are you saying that : Davisian : 10/27/04 11:44 AM
Suburbanite = Ferratio?? Identity REVEALED!
Every once in awhile : Wild Bill Wideman : 10/27/04 11:46 AM
I think I've seen and heard almost everything but times like this bring me back to reality. Call the friggin dr for christ sakes.
The tears are flowing : fast eddie : 10/27/04 11:46 AM
stop it your killin me.
Ferrets and babies do not mix. : Randy in CT : 10/27/04 11:47 AM
I am dead serious about this. Ferrets are drawn to babies because they often smell the milk on their faces. This is going to be quite gruesome but if it prevents it from happening, I am going to post it--Ferrets have been known to pretty much tear up a babies face--For watever reason, they react VERY violently to them. I love Ferrets but would NEVER keep one with a baby in the house.
Holy crap : Don in DC : 10/27/04 11:49 AM
getting back to the serious nature : fast eddie : 10/27/04 11:49 AM
of the thread, I believe that in order to truly diagnose if the rodent has rabies, he must die. Unless sumptin is new I think they need to inspect its wittle brain.
The ferret didn't bite the baby's face, Randy : TonyT : 10/27/04 11:50 AM
.
Randy : cjac : 10/27/04 11:50 AM
without knowing that, i'm going to go out on a limb and say that anyone who would let any animal roam free with an infant on the floor should not be allowed to care for a child. I'd love to know what the hell they were doing as the ferrett approached the child
fe, it : Randy in CT : 10/27/04 11:50 AM
probably doesn't have rabies. ferrets just bite a lot. It's what they do. They're ferrets.
Tony, I undertood that part. : Randy in CT : 10/27/04 11:51 AM
Bringing the baby to the doctor as soon as humanly possible as an utter and complete no-brainer. I'm trying to prevent further damage
What's more ignorant... : cchandlerb : 10/27/04 11:51 AM
This thread or STINKY's FF Trade Thread? I vote this one, since A CHILD'S LIFE IS INVOLVED!!! Also, I vote for this one since this has a small chance of being serious based on the 'medical advice' threads on BBI over the last few years.
STINKY's Blockbuster Trade (new window)
"hehehe" : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 11:52 AM
"Ahh look ,how cute. He's sniffing the baby's crotch."
TonyT : fast eddie : 10/27/04 11:52 AM
maybe the babies girl friend had some milk on her breath?
ST1NKY's thread is doomed, it has no violence. : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 11:54 AM
People love violence.
Round two. : manh george : 10/27/04 11:57 AM
I think that we can agree that Ferratio wins. Now, is Ferratio a superhero or a werepenis? In either case, what are his main attributes? Keep it coming guys. We're getting close to a saleable movie script.
I'll start. Ferratio goes around ferreting out evil with his male member.
holy crap, : The Village Voice : 10/27/04 11:57 AM
two things I should never do: 1) Let A Cubed Hog babysit my future son, and 2) Never lie on his floor with my penis out.
Ferratio : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 11:58 AM
can weasel his way out of any trouble.
Thanks : A Cubed Hog : 10/27/04 12:00 PM
Thanks to all who have responded. The boy seems all right, no worse for the wear, except that surrounding the bite is a pinkish-red circle about the size of an aspirin.
cjac: I did not ask a bunch of anonymous strangers. I asked one stranger – Suburbanite, because he owns a pet store and is probably very familiar with ferrets, weasels and the like.
Don: Actually, the child seems to crap in the corner more than the ferret does.
BigBlue26: My wife kind of freaked out over it. I don't know if you're married or have a boyfriend, but you've seen how women can get. I was fine with it.
shepardsam: This is funny to you?
Some Fan: Are you sure rabies will kill 100% of the time?
Pork Chop: Where do you live? Seriously, we could baby sit for you some time.
Paul from Queens: The ferret has become a member of the family, so to speak. I'd rather not find out he has rabies and subsequently have to have him put down. My wife would be devastated.
FatMan in Charlotte and Jon T: If you aren't going to help, why post here?
Hilarious, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:01 PM
thanks for asking!
Diced pork, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:02 PM
Wasn't this a quote from you... "although I can see where the humor does enter the situation."?
I had to close my office door : jjgmrg901 : 10/27/04 12:03 PM
This is hysterical. Please, each is better than the next. So thats why they have snaps on pjs.
Randy : TonyT : 10/27/04 12:03 PM
I mean this when I say that yours is the honorable approach on this bizarre thread. And most of the rest of us are making smartass humor about it.
But -- I don't think the guy who started this thread was being sincere. Either that, or he's a flaming a-hole beyond the reach of reason.
Yeah, Fatman and Jon T..................................................... : manh george : 10/27/04 12:03 PM
.............................................................................................................................(tapping foot)......................
We're waiting for an answer.
Ferratio : fast eddie : 10/27/04 12:04 PM
and his boyze decide to go bobbing for penis's on holloweenie.
Yeah BB26 : cjac : 10/27/04 12:05 PM
you know how women "freak out" over stuff
Well, I DO see the surreal : Randy in CT : 10/27/04 12:05 PM
quality of the question and understand the wiseassery and buttmonkery that followed
I'm suprised actually, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:06 PM
that your wife didn't "freak out" about putting a naked baby on the floor with a rodent.
Hahahaha - I'd rather not find out the ferret has rabies : jcn56 : 10/27/04 12:06 PM
and have to put him down! That's great - maybe you should have yourself and wife killed instead.
I guess... : FatMan in Charlotte : 10/27/04 12:06 PM
recommending that he speak with a vet or a doctor instead of a pet store owner is absurd. I apologize profusely as I look for the portal that will transport me out of Bizarro World and back to the life I'm used to living.
mg : BobOnLI : 10/27/04 12:06 PM
Looks like you will just have to ferret out the answer for yourself.
cjac, I was trying to ignore that comment :o) : BigBlue26 : 10/27/04 12:06 PM
And Hog... I'm married and have a son and don't often freak out unless the Giants are involved.
Now this, is funny : cjac : 10/27/04 12:06 PM
The ferret has become a member of the family, so to speak. I'd rather not find out he has rabies and subsequently have to have him put down. My wife would be devastated.
Does the human being that the ferrett bit come into the decision at all?
Call the pediatrician? : The Village Voice : 10/27/04 12:07 PM
Nah, let's ask a pet store owner about it. He'll know the common reactions of a baby's penis to a ferret bite. I'm sure not a day goes by where someone doesn't come into the pet store with a penis-biting ferret story.
At least we know what the adult Ferratio superhero does in the movie. : manh george : 10/27/04 12:08 PM
He ferrets out evil, weasels out of trouble, and turns into Ron Jeremy when a full moon is out. He drives around suburban New Jersey in a car shaped like a ferret, before returning to his secret ferret lair.
Now, what do we call his sidekick? And, what is his alternate identity in the everyday world?
Fat Man - these "doctors" you speak of intrigue me : jcn56 : 10/27/04 12:08 PM
will they see anyone, or do you have to belong to some kind of club first?
"Mr. pet store guy... : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:09 PM
my ferret won't go near his habitrail anymore, it's all about the penis now, what do I do?"
I believe Ferratio's sidekick : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:10 PM
would be musk-boy.
Pig to the 3rd power: : Randy in CT : 10/27/04 12:11 PM
I like how you keep the thread up, regardless of the abuse. And there is some CLASSIC abuse going on here!
His alternate identity--I nearly have it. : manh george : 10/27/04 12:11 PM
Clearly, he is either a veterinarian or a pet store owner. Or a self-hating furrier.
Maybe Alger? : fast eddie : 10/27/04 12:13 PM
Go down young man was authored by Ferratio Alger I believe?
Manh george, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:13 PM
clearly the weasel twins are NFL referees.
Randy, you're right. : manh george : 10/27/04 12:13 PM
We really should thank him.
Thank you.
Ferratio is having : Davisian : 10/27/04 12:13 PM
A Crisis of confidence. He' fallen in love and does not want the responsibility of Superherodom anymore. But in the meantime, three arch enemies have broken out of their flat glass cages and are wreaking havoc on America. Just when their leader "Pogo" (the great, great grandferret of the one from Beastmaster) has Ferratio in a peni lock, Richard Pryor comes to save the day. And Ferratio realizes he has a duty, to nibble peni, and fight crime but not neccessarily in that order.
yep, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:13 PM
thank you VERY much.
Tom Cruise will star as Ferratio. : manh george : 10/27/04 12:17 PM
After all, if Tom Cruise can appear in a TV special about Ray Charles, he can show up anywhere.
I read : The Village Voice : 10/27/04 12:19 PM
in this week's edition of the Inquirer that Tom Cruise has made a career out of biting baby penis in Hollywood.
Manh, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:19 PM
While in his mild-mannered secret identity...
Will he be wearing Nicole Kidman as a beard?
No way this thread is serious. : Paul from Queens : 10/27/04 12:26 PM
If that rat bit my nephew's or my son's private area I would snap it's neck and feed it to my wife's cats.
Didn't Ferratio : BobOnLI : 10/27/04 12:26 PM
make an unsuccessful bid for VP?
Just forget it, alright? : A Cubed Hog : 10/27/04 12:27 PM
I usually lurk, and have posted once or twice in the past, and all of your flippant answers almost make me wish I had never posted this question, or asked for Suburbanite's assistance.
We just told my in-laws what happened because they just called, and surprisingly, they didn't take it well. I think they are cutting their trip to The Great Smokeys short. We are going to bring him to a doctor this afternoon because that circle is starting to turn greenish/purple now. Anyway, thanks for the advice from those of you who were serious, and for you all who took this as a way of exercising your limited humor, or to castigate me, I hope you feel real good about yourselves.
Also, last but not least, thanks a heap, Suburbanite, for lending your wisdom. Please never title a thread to my attention if you ever have any questions about pool cleaning or chlorine levels, as I will not respond.
Just forget it, alright? : A Cubed Hog : 10/27/04 12:27 PM
I usually lurk, and have posted once or twice in the past, and all of your flippant answers almost make me wish I had never posted this question, or asked for Suburbanite's assistance.
We just told my in-laws what happened because they just called, and surprisingly, they didn't take it well. I think they are cutting their trip to The Great Smokeys short. We are going to bring him to a doctor this afternoon because that circle is starting to turn greenish/purple now. Anyway, thanks for the advice from those of you who were serious, and for you all who took this as a way of exercising your limited humor, or to castigate me, I hope you feel real good about yourselves.
Also, last but not least, thanks a heap, Suburbanite, for lending your wisdom. Please never title a thread to my attention if you ever have any questions about pool cleaning or chlorine levels, as I will not respond.
Are you : Pork Chop : 10/27/04 12:27 PM
sure that the ferret was not Michael Jackson with a mink coat on?
You are surprised they : fast eddie : 10/27/04 12:29 PM
didn't take it well. Crap if some rodent almost castigated my son my chlorine levels would be outta this world.
OK, : Randy in CT : 10/27/04 12:30 PM
this is SO fake.
If I was your Brother-in-law : Paul from Queens : 10/27/04 12:31 PM
I would drown you in a pool with high chlorine levels.
Please Please Please : HopeJ : 10/27/04 12:31 PM
tell me that someone is pulling our chain?
If only : Big Al : 10/27/04 12:31 PM
Doctor Big Blue 56 were here, we might get a professional answer.
Cubed : cjac : 10/27/04 12:32 PM
We just told my in-laws what happened because they just called, and surprisingly, they didn't take it well. I think they are cutting their trip to The Great Smokeys short. We are going to bring him to a doctor this afternoon because that circle is starting to turn greenish/purple now. Anyway, thanks for the advice from those of you who were serious, and for you all who took this as a way of exercising your limited humor, or to castigate me, I hope you feel real good about yourselves.
Hahahahahahahaaaa
lol : gidiefor : 10/27/04 12:32 PM
we got em all on this board
Chlorine : cchandlerb : 10/27/04 12:33 PM
Soak the lad's tweeter in chlorine, that will kill any infection.
Send this in : RAZE : 10/27/04 12:35 PM
to Letterman
Cubed : Jon T : 10/27/04 12:35 PM
hog I merely echoed Fat mans correct statement that you should call a vet. No need to get your panties all ruffled up in a bunch.
Bronze this thread!!! : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:36 PM
BBI hall of fame.
RAZE : gidiefor : 10/27/04 12:37 PM
yeah this is definitely late nite tv stuff. The real life is often stranger than fiction.
Jon T, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:37 PM
I think he probably should bunch up his panties, it'll confuse the weasel so it won't know where to bite.
Greenish/Purple Peni : Davisian : 10/27/04 12:38 PM
Yeah, I guess we should go to the doctor now.
shepardsam : gidiefor : 10/27/04 12:39 PM
I want to print it and hang it in my office.
does anyone here know how to do that?
If this thread is serious (which I strongly doubt) : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:40 PM
Do you really expect that Suburbanite is just waiting here in case of any Weasel/penis related emergencies that may come up?
Davisian : HopeJ : 10/27/04 12:40 PM
really? if that's the case, got some calls to make, hang on...
Davisian : fast eddie : 10/27/04 12:40 PM
I think he's waiting for the accompanying yellow ooze and maybe a seizure or two?
Please do not : Big Al : 10/27/04 12:40 PM
post a picture on BBI.
gidiefor, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:40 PM
Ask T-bone (about the printing part anyway).
Ferratio's : Davisian : 10/27/04 12:41 PM
"Partner" dies in a horrible earthquake. In his grief, Ferratio runs to the wheel in his habit trail and runs so fast, time goes backwards. Eventually to the time of his youth. Amazingly, Cubed Hog STILL lets his ferret bite the young Ferratio.
what about missing piece posters : gidiefor : 10/27/04 12:41 PM
.
shephardsam : cchandlerb : 10/27/04 12:42 PM
You beat me to the T-Bone reference. This thread should meet his needs just fine!
Alas poor Rodent, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:42 PM
I knew him ferratio...
thanks : gidiefor : 10/27/04 12:43 PM
shepardsam
by the way I was able to print : gidiefor : 10/27/04 12:47 PM
and this thread is ten pages right now
TMAC etc : gidiefor : 10/27/04 12:49 PM
just for personal use
Morons : Gary from The East End : 10/27/04 12:53 PM
Ferrets aren't rats or rodents, they're mustelids. They come from the same family as skunks and weasels.
Ferrets won't "rip a baby's face to pieces". That's bullshit. Ferrets are no more dangerous than cats. By the way, you shouldn't a naked, nine month old baby play unsupervised with a cat either. Animals can be unpredicable and babies don't understand that the animal doesn't appreciate being squashed or banged around.
I seriously doubt that an indoor pet, like a ferret, is going to have rabies. Animals get rabies from being bitten by an infected animal. A long as rabid racoons are not coming over to hang with the ferret, the chance of it being rabid is miniscule. Most ferrets and other pets should be vaccinated again rabies anyway.
I an infant is bitten by a family pet, you take the kid to the doctor. Is this like...a difficult concept?
Has it ocurred to anyone... : FatMan in Charlotte : 10/27/04 12:55 PM
that if Suburbanite runs a pet store, that he's probably working between the hours of 9-5 or so, and probably not with a desktop computer available to surf??
Call me crazy, but the pet stores I've gone in aren't the most technologically stacked businesses I've seen.
mus-te-lids... : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:55 PM
got it.
FMiC, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:56 PM
it occured to me...
But then again, I thought the weasel was a rodent.
Does it really matter whether it's : Paul from Queens : 10/27/04 12:58 PM
a squirrel, weasal or rat. This particular animal should be dead.
At least it won't die : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 1:00 PM
on an empty stomach.
Hi. : Big Al : 10/27/04 1:00 PM
The rodent : fast eddie : 10/27/04 1:01 PM
was a waiter on the side. He worked for tips.
FMIC : Jon T : 10/27/04 1:01 PM
Lets not try to brign logic to the discussion at this stage. Suburbanite strikes me as an honest hard working guy who likely will check in on this thread tonight. but as was pointed out earlier his advice would almost certainly be to see a doctor and call a vet next time.
Jon T, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 1:03 PM
tonight will be too late if he ever needs chlorine related help. How dare he not be here to respond immediately!
Jon... : FatMan in Charlotte : 10/27/04 1:03 PM
fair point. In all reality, I could give a shit who Surburbanite is and what he will or won't say if he checks in. Seems strange that he gets called out and then crapped on due to nor responding in a 2 hour window to a premise so ridiculous it's beyond laughable.
Oh that was Good Eddie. : Davisian : 10/27/04 1:03 PM
That wuuuzzzz Guuud..
A bit of advice : fast eddie : 10/27/04 1:03 PM
I use a product called "leaf up". It causes leaves to fall up rather than down thereby making fall cleanup much easier. Maybe if you spray it on the babies penis it would repel the weasel as well? Just a thought.
No advice from T-Bone? : Big Al : 10/27/04 1:05 PM
Proves he is a worthless dork.
Agree about Suburbanite, : Stu : 10/27/04 1:06 PM
but he has posted during the day in the past, so maybe that's why he's upset with him.
One of the : Big Al : 10/27/04 1:09 PM
salespeople in Surburbanite's store just e mailed me. He is busy tending to a woman whose nipple was bitten by a parrot.
Oh my : schnitzie : 10/27/04 1:09 PM
God
Polly Want A : Davisian : 10/27/04 1:10 PM
Aereole?
Filthy bird! : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 1:11 PM
Oh wait, a parrot is a bird isn't it?
A Cubed Hog : Matt M. : 10/27/04 1:11 PM
I sincerely hope this thread is a joke. If it is, I sincerely hope to never see you post on another thread again.
Shep : Jon T : 10/27/04 1:12 PM
IF it is that important try to contact Suburb as there can't be too mnay pet stores in New England. Also maybe suburb is a red sox fan so perhaps his biggest priority tonight is not posting on the "Help!Ferret bit an infants yambag." thread.
Matt, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 1:13 PM
That is a little harsh, especially after all the joy he has brought to my day.
Davisian : fast eddie : 10/27/04 1:13 PM
I am rolling on the floor dude, please stop.
sheperdsam : Matt M. : 10/27/04 1:14 PM
You don't think there will be more threads as stupid as this one to amuse you?
Well tell Him : Davisian : 10/27/04 1:14 PM
That Ferretio is a Yankee fan.
A Cube Hog : jcn56 : 10/27/04 1:15 PM
I do feel good about myself - thanks for asking!
Of course, it could partially be because a ferret hasn't bit my weiner, so I've got that going for me..
Maybe, okay probably. : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 1:16 PM
But I didn't throw stop buying Zeppelin albums just because I already liked the first one.
What kind of bastard feeds human baby : schnitzie : 10/27/04 1:16 PM
to a ferret? I hope PETA catches up with you....
I wonder : Big Al : 10/27/04 1:17 PM
if this thread was part of Eric's vision when he started this site in 1995.
Would this : fast eddie : 10/27/04 1:18 PM
be considered a prickly situation?
A Cubed Hog : Matt M. : 10/27/04 1:19 PM
Seriously, your lack of concern for the baby is disturbing, to say the least. For the baby's sake, this really better be all in your imagination.
I wonder if the ferret : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 1:19 PM
is a little cock-eyed.
Big Al : Davisian : 10/27/04 1:20 PM
It wasn't Eric's vision, but it was Louden Swine's.. Can't you hear Lunatic Fringe playing in the background?
"I'm taking down... : FatMan in Charlotte : 10/27/04 1:26 PM
Shute. I'm gonna do it." [cue up Journey]
I haven't seen : cjac : 10/27/04 1:28 PM
Daphne Zuniga in a while, boy i miss her
shep : fast eddie : 10/27/04 1:28 PM
good thing the animal wasn't a beaver. Cubed Piggy would probably call the conservation department. TIMBER!
That is a good thing, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 1:30 PM
it would probably take them a while to lumber over.
I e- : Big Al : 10/27/04 1:30 PM
this thread to a lady in my building who used to have a ferret. Her response:
"Ferrets don't bite unless they are antagonized. They are also not pets for kids under 12 years. The adults here are to blame and should be reported to the SPCA."
Dam : Davisian : 10/27/04 1:31 PM
If they should have chucked wood first.
Cjac : Jon T : 10/27/04 1:32 PM
She turns 42 tomorrow and she was in American Dreams last year. Big mistake when they booted her off MP..
link (new window)
Al : fast eddie : 10/27/04 1:33 PM
maybe the kid antagonized the beaver with his woody?
Jon T... : FatMan in Charlotte : 10/27/04 1:33 PM
that's where I saw her. She was coming onto the Dad two weeks ago on "American Dreams", and at the end of the show, her and the wife are on the steps talking. She looks bad.
She was great in : cjac : 10/27/04 1:35 PM
The Sure Thing
The only thing I don't like about her : cjac : 10/27/04 1:37 PM
is that her head is too big for her body.
cjac... : FatMan in Charlotte : 10/27/04 1:40 PM
I'm not a fan of the voice that sounds like she spends her time gargling with hydrochloric acid.
Funny... : The Village Voice : 10/27/04 1:43 PM
she doesn't look Druish...
She is not : Jon T : 10/27/04 1:44 PM
enjoying the same success as her MP Co-star Courtney Thorne Smith, who is now firmly ensconsed in her role as Jim Belushi's wife in 'According to Jim.'
Courtney Thorne Smith... : FatMan in Charlotte : 10/27/04 1:46 PM
has always has a place in my heart since she was in "Summer School". She's fucking hot, as well as Kimberly Williams.
A Cubed... : The Village Voice : 10/27/04 1:47 PM
I have a pool question...
My brother's baby was visiting and he fell in the pool. Should I skim him out with the bug net or just clean out the filters and let them eventually do the work for me?
Let's get back on topic(al) : Davisian : 10/27/04 1:51 PM
Here. My bad referencing Vision Quest, but MP reject discussion is best served on the Metrosexual thread.
FMIC : Jon T : 10/27/04 1:58 PM
Courtney was also hot as the 'Laker girl' cheerleader on a guest appearence on LA Law. Kim Williams went from starring in Father of the Bride to now playing a supporting role on the aforemntioned 'According to Jim'. Concur with your assessment that the 32 yr old Williams was fine.
VV : fast eddie : 10/27/04 1:58 PM
was the baby naked? If so just tie a rope around your ferrot and throw em in. Voila, save the baby!
Fast eddie, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 1:59 PM
You've obviously never smelled a wet mustelid.
Nor : Davisian : 10/27/04 2:01 PM
Wet a must smeltid.
fast eddie, : The Village Voice : 10/27/04 2:01 PM
if my goal was to retrieve the baby's penis, that's the first thing I would try.
shep : fast eddie : 10/27/04 2:03 PM
does a wet mustelid smell anything like tuna fish? If yes then my answer is yes.
A Cubed Hog : Rich from L.A. : 10/27/04 2:06 PM
Definitely see a doctor immediately. I mean YOU, not the kid. I recommend a psychiatrist who prescribes drugs for dementia, depression, and insanity. You need help, buddy. Oh, and thanks for keeping the BBI Class of September 2004 are strongest!
Fast eddie, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 2:09 PM
Well, a wet mustelid uses it's nose (as do the dry ones), but I'm not sure fish even have a sense of smell.
VV : fast eddie : 10/27/04 2:10 PM
no dude, the worst that will happen is the kid will have an aspirin sized purple & yellow or pink & green mark on his penis. Mustelids never amputate, they just nibble.
shep : fast eddie : 10/27/04 2:12 PM
tuna fish smell under water as well as out of the water. Does that make them amphibians?
No FE : Davisian : 10/27/04 2:17 PM
It's a Must-need-rightguard
Maybe fish can smell, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 2:41 PM
but everytime I try to sniff underwater, I wake up with the lifeguards bent over me and I'm coughing my brains out.
So... : Randy in CT : 10/27/04 2:42 PM
How did the little kid's wang turn out?
Pshew!!!!!! : A Cubed Hog : 10/27/04 2:43 PM
Jut got back from the doctor and everything is apparently OK. He said all it was, was a little prick and not to worry about it. Again, thanks for the concern from those who were concerned.
Thanx : fast eddie : 10/27/04 2:44 PM
for the laughs.
Hog : NNYGman : 10/27/04 2:45 PM
The "little prick" comment sealed the deal.....you are full of shit.
Diced Pork, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 2:48 PM
That was a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, long way to go for a punchline.
But thanks for this thread anyways, made my day. ;)
Beyond sealing the deal. : Randy in CT : 10/27/04 2:48 PM
We had to suffer through this crap for THAT punch line?
At least some of you learned about the dangers of ferrets. Glad I can be of service.
Sure it was a little prick : Davisian : 10/27/04 2:48 PM
Once Ferratio got done with him.
Thanks : Jon T : 10/27/04 2:50 PM
Cube your as funny as triple bypass.
A Shaggy Hog story... : manh george : 10/27/04 2:55 PM
if I ever heard one.
This : Berrylish2 : 10/27/04 3:21 PM
is ridiculous!
Yuks : Jon T : 10/27/04 3:28 PM
a plenty on this thread today..
Ferratio : Davisian : 10/27/04 4:40 PM
Must not fall off the first page.
Among Webster's definitions of hog: : TonyT : 10/27/04 5:15 PM
hog: a castrated boar.
In this case, shouldn't it be bore?
I'm : Suburbanite : 10/27/04 10:01 PM
a little leery about answering this because I think chains have been yanked, but you should be careful with any animal around a baby. Ferrets will go after fingers, noses, toes, and yes, penises if they are in a playful mood. As to the treatment for a bite, most likely the ferret isn't rabid, unless it was found in the wild, but I would seek a professional medical opinion, not mine.
Suburbanite : schnitzie : 10/27/04 10:09 PM
'Bout time ya got here! Did you read the whole thread? If not, you should. It's GOLD!!!
I'm : Suburbanite : 10/27/04 10:13 PM
scanning it now. I'm assuming that it will be gold from all of the interference being run and not the original post!!
bring the baby to the e.r. : bc4life : 10/27/04 10:13 PM
and while you're there get a prescription for some "dumbass pills" for letting it happen in the first place.
bc4life : schnitzie : 10/27/04 10:18 PM
I don't think it ever happened. Long con with a rim-shot punchline.
A well-executed con, though : Del Shofner : 10/27/04 10:26 PM
I tip my hat to Diced Pancetta.
Hey! Don't diss my ingredients. : Del Shofner : 10/27/04 10:59 PM
If I see A Cubed Hog, I think of diced pancetta. Available at Esposito's Pork Store, among other fine locations in Brooklyn.
I gotta visit : schnitzie : 10/27/04 11:18 PM
Mr. Esposito...
Getting on near : schnitzie : 10/27/04 11:19 PM
beef bourgignon season.
Thank you, Suburbanite. : A Cubed Hog : 10/28/04 10:33 AM
I just KNEW you'd come through. Sorry for the harsh words yesterday. Well, it's early out here and time to go to work!
A cubed hog : BobOnLI : 10/28/04 11:44 AM
Is that what you get after they dump the gatorade on an offensive lineman in DC?
boboli : gidiefor : 10/28/04 12:04 PM
you're still hot today baby!
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NFT: Need Help - Suburbanite : A Cubed Hog : 10/27/04 11:03 AM
I need your help, and this is not a joke, although I can see where the humor does enter the situation. Do you know anything about ferrets? My wife and I are babysitting our 9-month-old nephew until Sunday night. While he was on the floor mat being changed, the ferret took a little nip out of his penis? We really don't want to have to tell my sister and brother-in-law what happened, but of course we know we must. My question for you is, should we bring the baby to the emergency room? The ferret isn't rabid, or at least we're reasonably sure he isn't. I'm not kidding and would really appreciate your help. Thanks.
Follow up comments...
I can't resist: : manh george : 10/27/04 11:06 AM
Clearly, this animal is a member of the rare ferretmohel subspecies. This is only dangerous if you do not follow up with an Orthdox Rabbi.
My first piece of advice is : cjac : 10/27/04 11:06 AM
you should tell your sister. My second would be to put the friggin ferret in a cage or some kind of restraint when a baby is on the floor.
by the way : cjac : 10/27/04 11:07 AM
did this just happen? take the kid to a doctor
Not at all : Don : 10/27/04 11:08 AM
I had one for years (I'm sure he was playing with the baby, the nip wasn't meant to be mean). Ferrets don't carry disease and I'm pretty certain they need to have all their shots before leaving a pet store. I Imagine u noticed how they like to crap in corners
Not Suburbanite But : thevett : 10/27/04 11:08 AM
You better fess up immeadiately, and get the child to medical care as all animals carry mouth bacteria
We had a ferret for years : BigBlue26 : 10/27/04 11:13 AM
They are actually very clean animals. Did the bite break the skin? I'd tell the parents just so they can watch for infection just in case. I woulnd't freak out over it.
Oh my... : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 11:16 AM
This is going to take all of my willpower to back away from...
Make sure to wash the ferret's mouth out with anti-bacterial agents and it might help to calm the baby by putting on a copy of Zappa's "weasels ripped my flesh".
"Reasonably sure" that the ferret is rabid : Some Fan : 10/27/04 11:17 AM
wouldn't be good enuf for me with someone's life. Rabies will KILL 100% of the time unless the medication is given soon after the bite. I'd get the ferret checked, which means he may have to go to the farm.
And : Pork Chop : 10/27/04 11:17 AM
please resist the notion that you are capable of caring for children in the future. If you put my 9 month old on the floor with a rodent, I would call the cops and Child Protection.
Randy & cjac : fast eddie : 10/27/04 11:25 AM
the best manufactured comedy in the world would pale in comparison to this gem. I'm sorry but this thread is cracking me up.
Uh! : TonyT : 10/27/04 11:26 AM
Why in the world did you come to BBI for advice on how to handle this matter? Do you take your car problems to a chiropractor?
m-g: About your rather unusual sense of humor -- [grin]
Oh my goodness, the ferrett just bit the baby : cjac : 10/27/04 11:29 AM
Dont worry honey, i'll go ask a bunch of anonymous strangers on a football internet website, they'll know what to do
I agree with Some Fan : Paul from Queens : 10/27/04 11:29 AM
Check the rat out to make sure he does not have rabies. It's not worth a child's life no matter how small the chances are.
Ahem.. : Davisian : 10/27/04 11:29 AM
.... Nope.. Can't do it..
Davis clan dude : fast eddie : 10/27/04 11:31 AM
come on, get it over with.
Note to fast eddie, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 11:34 AM
this is the proper way to get the comedy ball rolling on BBI.
Alright.. : Davisian : 10/27/04 11:34 AM
If the Ferrett is Male, he must be destroyed. Forget Rabies, I hope the poor child doesn't catch "The Gay."
weaselis : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 11:35 AM
Bobbiticus.
Think of the 1940's horror story potential here. : manh george : 10/27/04 11:37 AM
Rather than being bitten by a wolf and turned into a werewolf, our hero, played by Lon Chaney Jr., is bitten on the penis by a ferret as an infant, and turned into.....what?
Randy? : Stu : 10/27/04 11:38 AM
.
Someone who grows up : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 11:38 AM
to be afraid of oral sex?
manh : cjac : 10/27/04 11:39 AM
the first thing i could think of was that disturbing scene in Total Recall with "Kuato"
He turned into : Big Al : 10/27/04 11:40 AM
Ron Jeramy.
Ferratio : Davisian : 10/27/04 11:40 AM
Figting crime across America.
If this is a serious question... : FatMan in Charlotte : 10/27/04 11:41 AM
why would you ask a pet store owner what to do? Shouldn't you be asking a vet or a doctor??
Am I missing something, like an idiot gene?
I did get : Big Al : 10/27/04 11:42 AM
good advice on BBI when I cut my arm off in the shredder while suffering through a hemmorhoids attack.
Excellent : Jon T : 10/27/04 11:43 AM
point Fat man..
FMiC, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 11:43 AM
You aren't considering the possibility that Suburbanite was molested by roving gangs of penis-hungry weasels as a child and might have some insight as to what course of action to take.
Are you saying that : Davisian : 10/27/04 11:44 AM
Suburbanite = Ferratio?? Identity REVEALED!
Every once in awhile : Wild Bill Wideman : 10/27/04 11:46 AM
I think I've seen and heard almost everything but times like this bring me back to reality. Call the friggin dr for christ sakes.
The tears are flowing : fast eddie : 10/27/04 11:46 AM
stop it your killin me.
Ferrets and babies do not mix. : Randy in CT : 10/27/04 11:47 AM
I am dead serious about this. Ferrets are drawn to babies because they often smell the milk on their faces. This is going to be quite gruesome but if it prevents it from happening, I am going to post it--Ferrets have been known to pretty much tear up a babies face--For watever reason, they react VERY violently to them. I love Ferrets but would NEVER keep one with a baby in the house.
Holy crap : Don in DC : 10/27/04 11:49 AM
getting back to the serious nature : fast eddie : 10/27/04 11:49 AM
of the thread, I believe that in order to truly diagnose if the rodent has rabies, he must die. Unless sumptin is new I think they need to inspect its wittle brain.
The ferret didn't bite the baby's face, Randy : TonyT : 10/27/04 11:50 AM
.
Randy : cjac : 10/27/04 11:50 AM
without knowing that, i'm going to go out on a limb and say that anyone who would let any animal roam free with an infant on the floor should not be allowed to care for a child. I'd love to know what the hell they were doing as the ferrett approached the child
fe, it : Randy in CT : 10/27/04 11:50 AM
probably doesn't have rabies. ferrets just bite a lot. It's what they do. They're ferrets.
Tony, I undertood that part. : Randy in CT : 10/27/04 11:51 AM
Bringing the baby to the doctor as soon as humanly possible as an utter and complete no-brainer. I'm trying to prevent further damage
What's more ignorant... : cchandlerb : 10/27/04 11:51 AM
This thread or STINKY's FF Trade Thread? I vote this one, since A CHILD'S LIFE IS INVOLVED!!! Also, I vote for this one since this has a small chance of being serious based on the 'medical advice' threads on BBI over the last few years.
STINKY's Blockbuster Trade (new window)
"hehehe" : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 11:52 AM
"Ahh look ,how cute. He's sniffing the baby's crotch."
TonyT : fast eddie : 10/27/04 11:52 AM
maybe the babies girl friend had some milk on her breath?
ST1NKY's thread is doomed, it has no violence. : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 11:54 AM
People love violence.
Round two. : manh george : 10/27/04 11:57 AM
I think that we can agree that Ferratio wins. Now, is Ferratio a superhero or a werepenis? In either case, what are his main attributes? Keep it coming guys. We're getting close to a saleable movie script.
I'll start. Ferratio goes around ferreting out evil with his male member.
holy crap, : The Village Voice : 10/27/04 11:57 AM
two things I should never do: 1) Let A Cubed Hog babysit my future son, and 2) Never lie on his floor with my penis out.
Ferratio : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 11:58 AM
can weasel his way out of any trouble.
Thanks : A Cubed Hog : 10/27/04 12:00 PM
Thanks to all who have responded. The boy seems all right, no worse for the wear, except that surrounding the bite is a pinkish-red circle about the size of an aspirin.
cjac: I did not ask a bunch of anonymous strangers. I asked one stranger – Suburbanite, because he owns a pet store and is probably very familiar with ferrets, weasels and the like.
Don: Actually, the child seems to crap in the corner more than the ferret does.
BigBlue26: My wife kind of freaked out over it. I don't know if you're married or have a boyfriend, but you've seen how women can get. I was fine with it.
shepardsam: This is funny to you?
Some Fan: Are you sure rabies will kill 100% of the time?
Pork Chop: Where do you live? Seriously, we could baby sit for you some time.
Paul from Queens: The ferret has become a member of the family, so to speak. I'd rather not find out he has rabies and subsequently have to have him put down. My wife would be devastated.
FatMan in Charlotte and Jon T: If you aren't going to help, why post here?
Hilarious, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:01 PM
thanks for asking!
Diced pork, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:02 PM
Wasn't this a quote from you... "although I can see where the humor does enter the situation."?
I had to close my office door : jjgmrg901 : 10/27/04 12:03 PM
This is hysterical. Please, each is better than the next. So thats why they have snaps on pjs.
Randy : TonyT : 10/27/04 12:03 PM
I mean this when I say that yours is the honorable approach on this bizarre thread. And most of the rest of us are making smartass humor about it.
But -- I don't think the guy who started this thread was being sincere. Either that, or he's a flaming a-hole beyond the reach of reason.
Yeah, Fatman and Jon T..................................................... : manh george : 10/27/04 12:03 PM
.............................................................................................................................(tapping foot)......................
We're waiting for an answer.
Ferratio : fast eddie : 10/27/04 12:04 PM
and his boyze decide to go bobbing for penis's on holloweenie.
Yeah BB26 : cjac : 10/27/04 12:05 PM
you know how women "freak out" over stuff
Well, I DO see the surreal : Randy in CT : 10/27/04 12:05 PM
quality of the question and understand the wiseassery and buttmonkery that followed
I'm suprised actually, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:06 PM
that your wife didn't "freak out" about putting a naked baby on the floor with a rodent.
Hahahaha - I'd rather not find out the ferret has rabies : jcn56 : 10/27/04 12:06 PM
and have to put him down! That's great - maybe you should have yourself and wife killed instead.
I guess... : FatMan in Charlotte : 10/27/04 12:06 PM
recommending that he speak with a vet or a doctor instead of a pet store owner is absurd. I apologize profusely as I look for the portal that will transport me out of Bizarro World and back to the life I'm used to living.
mg : BobOnLI : 10/27/04 12:06 PM
Looks like you will just have to ferret out the answer for yourself.
cjac, I was trying to ignore that comment :o) : BigBlue26 : 10/27/04 12:06 PM
And Hog... I'm married and have a son and don't often freak out unless the Giants are involved.
Now this, is funny : cjac : 10/27/04 12:06 PM
The ferret has become a member of the family, so to speak. I'd rather not find out he has rabies and subsequently have to have him put down. My wife would be devastated.
Does the human being that the ferrett bit come into the decision at all?
Call the pediatrician? : The Village Voice : 10/27/04 12:07 PM
Nah, let's ask a pet store owner about it. He'll know the common reactions of a baby's penis to a ferret bite. I'm sure not a day goes by where someone doesn't come into the pet store with a penis-biting ferret story.
At least we know what the adult Ferratio superhero does in the movie. : manh george : 10/27/04 12:08 PM
He ferrets out evil, weasels out of trouble, and turns into Ron Jeremy when a full moon is out. He drives around suburban New Jersey in a car shaped like a ferret, before returning to his secret ferret lair.
Now, what do we call his sidekick? And, what is his alternate identity in the everyday world?
Fat Man - these "doctors" you speak of intrigue me : jcn56 : 10/27/04 12:08 PM
will they see anyone, or do you have to belong to some kind of club first?
"Mr. pet store guy... : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:09 PM
my ferret won't go near his habitrail anymore, it's all about the penis now, what do I do?"
I believe Ferratio's sidekick : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:10 PM
would be musk-boy.
Pig to the 3rd power: : Randy in CT : 10/27/04 12:11 PM
I like how you keep the thread up, regardless of the abuse. And there is some CLASSIC abuse going on here!
His alternate identity--I nearly have it. : manh george : 10/27/04 12:11 PM
Clearly, he is either a veterinarian or a pet store owner. Or a self-hating furrier.
Maybe Alger? : fast eddie : 10/27/04 12:13 PM
Go down young man was authored by Ferratio Alger I believe?
Manh george, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:13 PM
clearly the weasel twins are NFL referees.
Randy, you're right. : manh george : 10/27/04 12:13 PM
We really should thank him.
Thank you.
Ferratio is having : Davisian : 10/27/04 12:13 PM
A Crisis of confidence. He' fallen in love and does not want the responsibility of Superherodom anymore. But in the meantime, three arch enemies have broken out of their flat glass cages and are wreaking havoc on America. Just when their leader "Pogo" (the great, great grandferret of the one from Beastmaster) has Ferratio in a peni lock, Richard Pryor comes to save the day. And Ferratio realizes he has a duty, to nibble peni, and fight crime but not neccessarily in that order.
yep, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:13 PM
thank you VERY much.
Tom Cruise will star as Ferratio. : manh george : 10/27/04 12:17 PM
After all, if Tom Cruise can appear in a TV special about Ray Charles, he can show up anywhere.
I read : The Village Voice : 10/27/04 12:19 PM
in this week's edition of the Inquirer that Tom Cruise has made a career out of biting baby penis in Hollywood.
Manh, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:19 PM
While in his mild-mannered secret identity...
Will he be wearing Nicole Kidman as a beard?
No way this thread is serious. : Paul from Queens : 10/27/04 12:26 PM
If that rat bit my nephew's or my son's private area I would snap it's neck and feed it to my wife's cats.
Didn't Ferratio : BobOnLI : 10/27/04 12:26 PM
make an unsuccessful bid for VP?
Just forget it, alright? : A Cubed Hog : 10/27/04 12:27 PM
I usually lurk, and have posted once or twice in the past, and all of your flippant answers almost make me wish I had never posted this question, or asked for Suburbanite's assistance.
We just told my in-laws what happened because they just called, and surprisingly, they didn't take it well. I think they are cutting their trip to The Great Smokeys short. We are going to bring him to a doctor this afternoon because that circle is starting to turn greenish/purple now. Anyway, thanks for the advice from those of you who were serious, and for you all who took this as a way of exercising your limited humor, or to castigate me, I hope you feel real good about yourselves.
Also, last but not least, thanks a heap, Suburbanite, for lending your wisdom. Please never title a thread to my attention if you ever have any questions about pool cleaning or chlorine levels, as I will not respond.
Just forget it, alright? : A Cubed Hog : 10/27/04 12:27 PM
I usually lurk, and have posted once or twice in the past, and all of your flippant answers almost make me wish I had never posted this question, or asked for Suburbanite's assistance.
We just told my in-laws what happened because they just called, and surprisingly, they didn't take it well. I think they are cutting their trip to The Great Smokeys short. We are going to bring him to a doctor this afternoon because that circle is starting to turn greenish/purple now. Anyway, thanks for the advice from those of you who were serious, and for you all who took this as a way of exercising your limited humor, or to castigate me, I hope you feel real good about yourselves.
Also, last but not least, thanks a heap, Suburbanite, for lending your wisdom. Please never title a thread to my attention if you ever have any questions about pool cleaning or chlorine levels, as I will not respond.
Are you : Pork Chop : 10/27/04 12:27 PM
sure that the ferret was not Michael Jackson with a mink coat on?
You are surprised they : fast eddie : 10/27/04 12:29 PM
didn't take it well. Crap if some rodent almost castigated my son my chlorine levels would be outta this world.
OK, : Randy in CT : 10/27/04 12:30 PM
this is SO fake.
If I was your Brother-in-law : Paul from Queens : 10/27/04 12:31 PM
I would drown you in a pool with high chlorine levels.
Please Please Please : HopeJ : 10/27/04 12:31 PM
tell me that someone is pulling our chain?
If only : Big Al : 10/27/04 12:31 PM
Doctor Big Blue 56 were here, we might get a professional answer.
Cubed : cjac : 10/27/04 12:32 PM
We just told my in-laws what happened because they just called, and surprisingly, they didn't take it well. I think they are cutting their trip to The Great Smokeys short. We are going to bring him to a doctor this afternoon because that circle is starting to turn greenish/purple now. Anyway, thanks for the advice from those of you who were serious, and for you all who took this as a way of exercising your limited humor, or to castigate me, I hope you feel real good about yourselves.
Hahahahahahahaaaa
lol : gidiefor : 10/27/04 12:32 PM
we got em all on this board
Chlorine : cchandlerb : 10/27/04 12:33 PM
Soak the lad's tweeter in chlorine, that will kill any infection.
Send this in : RAZE : 10/27/04 12:35 PM
to Letterman
Cubed : Jon T : 10/27/04 12:35 PM
hog I merely echoed Fat mans correct statement that you should call a vet. No need to get your panties all ruffled up in a bunch.
Bronze this thread!!! : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:36 PM
BBI hall of fame.
RAZE : gidiefor : 10/27/04 12:37 PM
yeah this is definitely late nite tv stuff. The real life is often stranger than fiction.
Jon T, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:37 PM
I think he probably should bunch up his panties, it'll confuse the weasel so it won't know where to bite.
Greenish/Purple Peni : Davisian : 10/27/04 12:38 PM
Yeah, I guess we should go to the doctor now.
shepardsam : gidiefor : 10/27/04 12:39 PM
I want to print it and hang it in my office.
does anyone here know how to do that?
If this thread is serious (which I strongly doubt) : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:40 PM
Do you really expect that Suburbanite is just waiting here in case of any Weasel/penis related emergencies that may come up?
Davisian : HopeJ : 10/27/04 12:40 PM
really? if that's the case, got some calls to make, hang on...
Davisian : fast eddie : 10/27/04 12:40 PM
I think he's waiting for the accompanying yellow ooze and maybe a seizure or two?
Please do not : Big Al : 10/27/04 12:40 PM
post a picture on BBI.
gidiefor, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:40 PM
Ask T-bone (about the printing part anyway).
Ferratio's : Davisian : 10/27/04 12:41 PM
"Partner" dies in a horrible earthquake. In his grief, Ferratio runs to the wheel in his habit trail and runs so fast, time goes backwards. Eventually to the time of his youth. Amazingly, Cubed Hog STILL lets his ferret bite the young Ferratio.
what about missing piece posters : gidiefor : 10/27/04 12:41 PM
.
shephardsam : cchandlerb : 10/27/04 12:42 PM
You beat me to the T-Bone reference. This thread should meet his needs just fine!
Alas poor Rodent, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:42 PM
I knew him ferratio...
thanks : gidiefor : 10/27/04 12:43 PM
shepardsam
by the way I was able to print : gidiefor : 10/27/04 12:47 PM
and this thread is ten pages right now
TMAC etc : gidiefor : 10/27/04 12:49 PM
just for personal use
Morons : Gary from The East End : 10/27/04 12:53 PM
Ferrets aren't rats or rodents, they're mustelids. They come from the same family as skunks and weasels.
Ferrets won't "rip a baby's face to pieces". That's bullshit. Ferrets are no more dangerous than cats. By the way, you shouldn't a naked, nine month old baby play unsupervised with a cat either. Animals can be unpredicable and babies don't understand that the animal doesn't appreciate being squashed or banged around.
I seriously doubt that an indoor pet, like a ferret, is going to have rabies. Animals get rabies from being bitten by an infected animal. A long as rabid racoons are not coming over to hang with the ferret, the chance of it being rabid is miniscule. Most ferrets and other pets should be vaccinated again rabies anyway.
I an infant is bitten by a family pet, you take the kid to the doctor. Is this like...a difficult concept?
Has it ocurred to anyone... : FatMan in Charlotte : 10/27/04 12:55 PM
that if Suburbanite runs a pet store, that he's probably working between the hours of 9-5 or so, and probably not with a desktop computer available to surf??
Call me crazy, but the pet stores I've gone in aren't the most technologically stacked businesses I've seen.
mus-te-lids... : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:55 PM
got it.
FMiC, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:56 PM
it occured to me...
But then again, I thought the weasel was a rodent.
Does it really matter whether it's : Paul from Queens : 10/27/04 12:58 PM
a squirrel, weasal or rat. This particular animal should be dead.
Squirrel? DEAD. : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 12:59 PM
Rodent? DEAD.
Weasel? DEAD.
At least it won't die : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 1:00 PM
on an empty stomach.
Hi. : Big Al : 10/27/04 1:00 PM
The rodent : fast eddie : 10/27/04 1:01 PM
was a waiter on the side. He worked for tips.
FMIC : Jon T : 10/27/04 1:01 PM
Lets not try to brign logic to the discussion at this stage. Suburbanite strikes me as an honest hard working guy who likely will check in on this thread tonight. but as was pointed out earlier his advice would almost certainly be to see a doctor and call a vet next time.
Jon T, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 1:03 PM
tonight will be too late if he ever needs chlorine related help. How dare he not be here to respond immediately!
Jon... : FatMan in Charlotte : 10/27/04 1:03 PM
fair point. In all reality, I could give a shit who Surburbanite is and what he will or won't say if he checks in. Seems strange that he gets called out and then crapped on due to nor responding in a 2 hour window to a premise so ridiculous it's beyond laughable.
Oh that was Good Eddie. : Davisian : 10/27/04 1:03 PM
That wuuuzzzz Guuud..
A bit of advice : fast eddie : 10/27/04 1:03 PM
I use a product called "leaf up". It causes leaves to fall up rather than down thereby making fall cleanup much easier. Maybe if you spray it on the babies penis it would repel the weasel as well? Just a thought.
No advice from T-Bone? : Big Al : 10/27/04 1:05 PM
Proves he is a worthless dork.
Agree about Suburbanite, : Stu : 10/27/04 1:06 PM
but he has posted during the day in the past, so maybe that's why he's upset with him.
One of the : Big Al : 10/27/04 1:09 PM
salespeople in Surburbanite's store just e mailed me. He is busy tending to a woman whose nipple was bitten by a parrot.
Oh my : schnitzie : 10/27/04 1:09 PM
God
Polly Want A : Davisian : 10/27/04 1:10 PM
Aereole?
Filthy bird! : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 1:11 PM
Oh wait, a parrot is a bird isn't it?
A Cubed Hog : Matt M. : 10/27/04 1:11 PM
I sincerely hope this thread is a joke. If it is, I sincerely hope to never see you post on another thread again.
Shep : Jon T : 10/27/04 1:12 PM
IF it is that important try to contact Suburb as there can't be too mnay pet stores in New England. Also maybe suburb is a red sox fan so perhaps his biggest priority tonight is not posting on the "Help!Ferret bit an infants yambag." thread.
Matt, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 1:13 PM
That is a little harsh, especially after all the joy he has brought to my day.
Davisian : fast eddie : 10/27/04 1:13 PM
I am rolling on the floor dude, please stop.
sheperdsam : Matt M. : 10/27/04 1:14 PM
You don't think there will be more threads as stupid as this one to amuse you?
Well tell Him : Davisian : 10/27/04 1:14 PM
That Ferretio is a Yankee fan.
A Cube Hog : jcn56 : 10/27/04 1:15 PM
I do feel good about myself - thanks for asking!
Of course, it could partially be because a ferret hasn't bit my weiner, so I've got that going for me..
Maybe, okay probably. : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 1:16 PM
But I didn't throw stop buying Zeppelin albums just because I already liked the first one.
What kind of bastard feeds human baby : schnitzie : 10/27/04 1:16 PM
to a ferret? I hope PETA catches up with you....
I wonder : Big Al : 10/27/04 1:17 PM
if this thread was part of Eric's vision when he started this site in 1995.
Would this : fast eddie : 10/27/04 1:18 PM
be considered a prickly situation?
A Cubed Hog : Matt M. : 10/27/04 1:19 PM
Seriously, your lack of concern for the baby is disturbing, to say the least. For the baby's sake, this really better be all in your imagination.
I wonder if the ferret : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 1:19 PM
is a little cock-eyed.
Big Al : Davisian : 10/27/04 1:20 PM
It wasn't Eric's vision, but it was Louden Swine's.. Can't you hear Lunatic Fringe playing in the background?
"I'm taking down... : FatMan in Charlotte : 10/27/04 1:26 PM
Shute. I'm gonna do it." [cue up Journey]
I haven't seen : cjac : 10/27/04 1:28 PM
Daphne Zuniga in a while, boy i miss her
shep : fast eddie : 10/27/04 1:28 PM
good thing the animal wasn't a beaver. Cubed Piggy would probably call the conservation department. TIMBER!
That is a good thing, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 1:30 PM
it would probably take them a while to lumber over.
I e- : Big Al : 10/27/04 1:30 PM
this thread to a lady in my building who used to have a ferret. Her response:
"Ferrets don't bite unless they are antagonized. They are also not pets for kids under 12 years. The adults here are to blame and should be reported to the SPCA."
Dam : Davisian : 10/27/04 1:31 PM
If they should have chucked wood first.
Cjac : Jon T : 10/27/04 1:32 PM
She turns 42 tomorrow and she was in American Dreams last year. Big mistake when they booted her off MP..
link (new window)
Al : fast eddie : 10/27/04 1:33 PM
maybe the kid antagonized the beaver with his woody?
Jon T... : FatMan in Charlotte : 10/27/04 1:33 PM
that's where I saw her. She was coming onto the Dad two weeks ago on "American Dreams", and at the end of the show, her and the wife are on the steps talking. She looks bad.
She was great in : cjac : 10/27/04 1:35 PM
The Sure Thing
The only thing I don't like about her : cjac : 10/27/04 1:37 PM
is that her head is too big for her body.
cjac... : FatMan in Charlotte : 10/27/04 1:40 PM
I'm not a fan of the voice that sounds like she spends her time gargling with hydrochloric acid.
Funny... : The Village Voice : 10/27/04 1:43 PM
she doesn't look Druish...
She is not : Jon T : 10/27/04 1:44 PM
enjoying the same success as her MP Co-star Courtney Thorne Smith, who is now firmly ensconsed in her role as Jim Belushi's wife in 'According to Jim.'
Courtney Thorne Smith... : FatMan in Charlotte : 10/27/04 1:46 PM
has always has a place in my heart since she was in "Summer School". She's fucking hot, as well as Kimberly Williams.
A Cubed... : The Village Voice : 10/27/04 1:47 PM
I have a pool question...
My brother's baby was visiting and he fell in the pool. Should I skim him out with the bug net or just clean out the filters and let them eventually do the work for me?
Let's get back on topic(al) : Davisian : 10/27/04 1:51 PM
Here. My bad referencing Vision Quest, but MP reject discussion is best served on the Metrosexual thread.
FMIC : Jon T : 10/27/04 1:58 PM
Courtney was also hot as the 'Laker girl' cheerleader on a guest appearence on LA Law. Kim Williams went from starring in Father of the Bride to now playing a supporting role on the aforemntioned 'According to Jim'. Concur with your assessment that the 32 yr old Williams was fine.
VV : fast eddie : 10/27/04 1:58 PM
was the baby naked? If so just tie a rope around your ferrot and throw em in. Voila, save the baby!
Fast eddie, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 1:59 PM
You've obviously never smelled a wet mustelid.
Nor : Davisian : 10/27/04 2:01 PM
Wet a must smeltid.
fast eddie, : The Village Voice : 10/27/04 2:01 PM
if my goal was to retrieve the baby's penis, that's the first thing I would try.
shep : fast eddie : 10/27/04 2:03 PM
does a wet mustelid smell anything like tuna fish? If yes then my answer is yes.
A Cubed Hog : Rich from L.A. : 10/27/04 2:06 PM
Definitely see a doctor immediately. I mean YOU, not the kid. I recommend a psychiatrist who prescribes drugs for dementia, depression, and insanity. You need help, buddy. Oh, and thanks for keeping the BBI Class of September 2004 are strongest!
Fast eddie, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 2:09 PM
Well, a wet mustelid uses it's nose (as do the dry ones), but I'm not sure fish even have a sense of smell.
VV : fast eddie : 10/27/04 2:10 PM
no dude, the worst that will happen is the kid will have an aspirin sized purple & yellow or pink & green mark on his penis. Mustelids never amputate, they just nibble.
shep : fast eddie : 10/27/04 2:12 PM
tuna fish smell under water as well as out of the water. Does that make them amphibians?
No FE : Davisian : 10/27/04 2:17 PM
It's a Must-need-rightguard
Maybe fish can smell, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 2:41 PM
but everytime I try to sniff underwater, I wake up with the lifeguards bent over me and I'm coughing my brains out.
So... : Randy in CT : 10/27/04 2:42 PM
How did the little kid's wang turn out?
Pshew!!!!!! : A Cubed Hog : 10/27/04 2:43 PM
Jut got back from the doctor and everything is apparently OK. He said all it was, was a little prick and not to worry about it. Again, thanks for the concern from those who were concerned.
Thanx : fast eddie : 10/27/04 2:44 PM
for the laughs.
Hog : NNYGman : 10/27/04 2:45 PM
The "little prick" comment sealed the deal.....you are full of shit.
Diced Pork, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 2:48 PM
That was a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, long way to go for a punchline.
But thanks for this thread anyways, made my day. ;)
Beyond sealing the deal. : Randy in CT : 10/27/04 2:48 PM
We had to suffer through this crap for THAT punch line?
At least some of you learned about the dangers of ferrets. Glad I can be of service.
Sure it was a little prick : Davisian : 10/27/04 2:48 PM
Once Ferratio got done with him.
Thanks : Jon T : 10/27/04 2:50 PM
Cube your as funny as triple bypass.
A Shaggy Hog story... : manh george : 10/27/04 2:55 PM
if I ever heard one.
This : Berrylish2 : 10/27/04 3:21 PM
is ridiculous!
No, : shepherdsam : 10/27/04 3:23 PM
it's dick-red-ulous. (or purple)
Yuks : Jon T : 10/27/04 3:28 PM
a plenty on this thread today..
Ferratio : Davisian : 10/27/04 4:40 PM
Must not fall off the first page.
Among Webster's definitions of hog: : TonyT : 10/27/04 5:15 PM
hog: a castrated boar.
In this case, shouldn't it be bore?
I'm : Suburbanite : 10/27/04 10:01 PM
a little leery about answering this because I think chains have been yanked, but you should be careful with any animal around a baby. Ferrets will go after fingers, noses, toes, and yes, penises if they are in a playful mood. As to the treatment for a bite, most likely the ferret isn't rabid, unless it was found in the wild, but I would seek a professional medical opinion, not mine.
Suburbanite : schnitzie : 10/27/04 10:09 PM
'Bout time ya got here! Did you read the whole thread? If not, you should. It's GOLD!!!
I'm : Suburbanite : 10/27/04 10:13 PM
scanning it now. I'm assuming that it will be gold from all of the interference being run and not the original post!!
bring the baby to the e.r. : bc4life : 10/27/04 10:13 PM
and while you're there get a prescription for some "dumbass pills" for letting it happen in the first place.
bc4life : schnitzie : 10/27/04 10:18 PM
I don't think it ever happened. Long con with a rim-shot punchline.
A well-executed con, though : Del Shofner : 10/27/04 10:26 PM
I tip my hat to Diced Pancetta.
Shredded Proscuitto? Bacon Bits? : schnitzie : 10/27/04 10:55 PM
Baaaahahaha!
Hey! Don't diss my ingredients. : Del Shofner : 10/27/04 10:59 PM
If I see A Cubed Hog, I think of diced pancetta. Available at Esposito's Pork Store, among other fine locations in Brooklyn.
I gotta visit : schnitzie : 10/27/04 11:18 PM
Mr. Esposito...
Getting on near : schnitzie : 10/27/04 11:19 PM
beef bourgignon season.
Thank you, Suburbanite. : A Cubed Hog : 10/28/04 10:33 AM
I just KNEW you'd come through. Sorry for the harsh words yesterday. Well, it's early out here and time to go to work!
A cubed hog : BobOnLI : 10/28/04 11:44 AM
Is that what you get after they dump the gatorade on an offensive lineman in DC?
boboli : gidiefor : 10/28/04 12:04 PM
you're still hot today baby!
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